Hello you amazing human beings! Ah some of the reviews I got were so nice! You know what would be even better? More reviews for this chapter! Please? I get all warm and fuzzy when I hear what you have to say :D haha okay, okay, here you are darlings!

Chapter 9

Dean and Cas tried to have things go back to normal after that. Dean went back to work at the bar, Cas went back to his normal routine of hanging out with Noura and getting dinner on his way home. Dean had been furious with Noura at first, but after a week of ignoring her every time she tried to talk to him, he forgave her.

Cas insisted on checking every night to make sure Dean hadn't cut himself. His arms, legs, torso, everywhere. But Dean decided he would be honest with him from now on. He guessed he was kind of passed the stage of 'I don't need help leave me alone.' He accepted Cas's help even if it meant talking about his feelings which was new and truthfully extremely uncomfortable for him. But if it made Cas feel better he would give it a try.

No matter what happened though, Dean still wouldn't wear short sleeves. Even if he did, he would slip on his leather jacket over the t-shirt. Cas understood though. He had seen the pink, puffy scars that covered Dean's arms and he knew that wasn't really something Dean would want to show off.

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Everything was going well for them. Sure, Dean relapsed a few times, but that was major progress in Cas's eyes. Although Dean felt differently. Every time he cut himself again he felt like he had failed. He was afraid Cas would be disappointed or angry and he wouldn't have been able to take that. But Cas hadn't been like that. He had been kind and supportive and Dean loved him for it.

Time passed and they were good. They had gone out on Valentine's day, but not to some fancy restaurant. According to Dean those were for 'rich people with one too many whitening strips and a smoke away from coughing up a lung.' So instead they went to the small diner on the corner of their street.

They had a really nice time until the man in the booth next to them had muttered "fags" under his breath. Then Dean had gotten them kicked out of the diner. The man went to the hospital for a broken nose, bruised ribs, and a concussion. They were lucky the girl behind the counter didn't call the police. In fact, before they left she whispered to Dean that she understood why he had beat the living shit out of the man and that she doesn't know why people have to be so cruel. And so they walked home without an encounter with the police.

As soon as they got home, they found a cherry pie sitting on the counter waiting for them with a note attached to it.

Happy Valentine's day. Cass made me go all the way to Somerville to get it (again), so you better enjoy it Winchester!

Noura

So Dean and Cas had sat on the couch, eating cherry pie, talking, and occasionally kissing until four in the morning. And, even though they hadn't said it, it had been one of the best nights of both their lives.

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Dean hadn't relapsed in months. He actually felt really good for the first time in a long time. Until May 2nd. Dean wouldn't do anything that day. He even called in sick to work. But Cas understood why. May 2nd was Sam's birthday. But this year Dean wouldn't be able to take Sam to a diner in town and steal him a present like he used to. Sam was gone.

Dean had stayed in bed all day. He barely talked, barely moved, barely did anything. Cas had tried to coax him out of bed for the better part of the day. In the end, Dean wouldn't even get up for pie. So Cas gave up for the time being since Noura had wanted him to go over to her house for god knows what anyway. So he had told Dean he would be back in a few hours and left.

Dean hadn't meant to do it. He really hadn't. But before he knew it he found himself heading for the bathroom, reaching for his razor and pressing it into his flesh. He just couldn't take it. Today he would usually be celebrating with Sammy but he couldn't and it all felt so… unreal. He had only made a small slice in his skin to make sure it wasn't all just a nightmare. When he realized this was all reality, it somehow made everything worse. So that caused him to cut even more. He just couldn't find it in himself to stop once he started.

Cas came home a lot earlier than he thought. He expected Noura to want something big, but she only wanted to ask him how he and Dean were doing, so he was home within an hour.

As soon as Cas opened the door, the stench of blood hit him. He immediately ran into the bedroom, scared that some creature had mauled Dean in bed, but deep down he knew that wasn't true. He was just hoping it wasn't what he thought it would be. But of course it was.

Dean was sitting on the floor by the bed, carving big red lines into his arms over and over again. Two small pools of blood had appeared on either side of him, but he didn't seem to notice. He was wholly focused on watching the blood form on his arm, like it was his life support.

Cas was on the other side of the room in two quick strides, bending down and snatching the razor away from Dean. He looked up at Cas wearily, as if he finally noticed his presence. Dean attempted to smile, but it just looked pathetic. "You're home early," his voice was scratchy and rough, like he was on the verge of passing out. And judging from the amount of blood on the floor, he probably was.

"Why?" Cas gasped.

"Sammy…" Dean whispered, eyelids beginning to flutter. "I can't…"

"Shhhh," Cas hushed him. "Never mind. We'll talk about that later."

"'Kay," Dean murmured. "Tired."

Cas tapped his cheek lightly before he could slide his eyes closed. "No, don't sleep yet Dean. You can't sleep yet."

"Need to…" Dean muttered.

"You can't," Cas whispered desperately, but Dean was already slumped against his shoulder, completely unconscious.

"Dean!" Cas yelled, shaking him lightly. "Come on, don't sleep! Don't sleep! You can't do this to me! Dean!"

But Dean wouldn't wake up.