Author's Note: Makes sense to update a zombie story close to zombie Jesus day right? Often refered to as Easter. Also I was raised a catholic (might explain my dry sense of humor) but that wasn't meant to offend anyone. More importantly I'm going to emotionally manipulate people some more because its rather fun. And on a random bit my tattoo still hurts a week later, its like a deep tissue massage, why the hell would this one hurt more than the others no damn clue. Oh and love how the girls at Starbucks know me by name...that's a bit ridiculous. Not that it matters but as a warning there's more cursing in this chapter. And I wouldn't consider it M but its "intended for mature audiences". And many points to anyone who can get what Buffy quote I threw in.
She had just changed her clothes from the slushie attack. It was only the first of the week and she was thankful as always to be so resourceful and keep extra clothing in her locker, buried neatly beneath her books. In the back of her mind she also had that change of clothes in case a zombie attack happened, but they didn't seem so scary. Lots of groaning and a lack of singing Thriller. Class was boring. Math was never her forte. She was going to be on broadway-why would she know math? At best she'd need a good eye for spacial recognition to avoid falling off the stage.
It was the perfect opporunity to let her mind wander. She really needed to stop watching zombie movies with Finn. Falling asleep half way through each of his choices made her feel guilty, but not that much when she took in how little plot was involved. The makeup was often tacky and every story threw in a forced romance than never seemed about connecting.
Her pencil started tapping against the waxy pages of her textbook. Why did the textbooks always have a clinical smell to them? For a second she felt like she was in a Britney Spears video. And coincidently the bell rang. Everyone grabbed their books and bags, some taking out their phones to text between classes, but Rachel was taking her time. The less time in the hallways meant less opportunity to be slushied and closing that window time was something she had grown accustomed to. It didn't annoy her that she had to look up at almost everyone until someone tall managed to dump flavored ice on her because it didn't seem fair in those cases. She prefered to look her attacker in the face. Pick the person out from the crowd and look them in the eyes to make them know she wasn't a random person, she was in fact a person who had a mind, dreams that reached the heights of the Empire State building, and a voice that could fill a theater. Most importantly she was more than that. More than a voice, more than the goal of being a big star with fame and power, no matter how small she was.
Less than an hour ago when that crushed ice hit her face like a punch that seeped its way down to her neck and stained her clothes as a constant reminder that her peers viewed her as unequal and prey she would falter internally.
The warning bell signalled a minute to get to class and she didn't see it coming. The next slushie hit hard. Red, looking not like blood but of chemicals and not quiet like the cheerios red, but it did the trick. She inhaled sharply, jaw dropping and thought she might step back and hit her head against a locker where she would naturally crumble to the dirty floor and see gold stars like a damn looney toons character.
That wasn't what happened. It wasn't a dream. That slushie was the only thing that reminded her of high school to now. That bitter fucking cold shock.
Puck was standing in front of her with blood slowly dripping from his shoulder. It looked raw and Rachel looked away. She turned her head to the other side, away from Quinn and away from anyone that would make this harder. Goddamn it she didn't want to see anyone's facial expressions. They were safe, they had all been safe in the house. She had trained them and everyone had a weapon that had become proficient in, but how the hell did this happen?
She'd take slushies and crude comments and verbal abuse over this any day! Puck was less than three hundred feet away, hands clenched and eyes locked onto them. How were his words that were so few so harsh? They had propelled her back to high school where everything was easier. When they didn't carry around guns and weren't hardered. It was so subtle but she felt Quinn take a step away from her. It wasn't a creeking board on the porch, it hadn't been a sound, but she felt it, the loss of warmth that came with Quinn whenever they were a few feet from one another, even if they weren't touching.
Somehow she knew Quinn didn't want to be there but was making herself. She owed it to Puck right? He had gotten their daughter back. She had to be there. To be the one to end his life. She had the best shot. It made sense. But the former impassioned singer took a step away from the blonde and said in a tone that couldn't be argued with as it held a lingering plea, "Go inside." Even though she knew telling Quinn what to do was never wise and if they were in high school she could have bet she would have been slushie bombed to the point that she would lose count, but she didn't care. She was about to kill someone...
"Rachel..." Quinn said, unmoved from her spot but held Beth more securely.
"Don't let anyone come out," The brunette said as she brushed her hand against her thigh and felt the metal that was strapped in. The gun was often there and she wished she'd never have to use it. Her fathers had taken her to a shooting range numerous times, after all this was the midwest and some people were very redneck, but this was Puck. Someone with a face that she knew, not a black outline of a person with some borders. She closed her eyes and willed Quinn to leave. Beth would never remember this, but she knew her mother would and would likely grow to resent her. What choice did she have? It was the merciful thing to do and Rachel thought of Laura Marling's lyrics she had become addicted to. "Why fear death? Be scared of living. Our hearts are small and ever thinning."
When the door closed with its certain heaviness it seemed to echo. She breathed through her nose. Content that it was just the two of them. Three really...a corpse that someone would have to bury and Noah who looked at her with narrowed eyes. Why didn't he have fear? Why didn't he say anything else? Why did it have to happen? Why did any of it have to happen to them?
Her fingers brushed over the metal again. It felt like another appendage or more like a tumor that was attacked to her throughout most of the day. She remembered Noah teased her that it was just for looks to make her seem badass. The smirk that was on his lips had been welcoming and endearing.
The gun was solid. Always heavier than she expected and her forearm tendon strained as she raised it and let out a slow breath. Dying yellow grass would always remind her of this. She knew she would grow to hate this season. Dread it and treat it as a painful reminder. Her neck felt tense, like someone was wrapping their hand around it. Her eyes stung and vision almost blurred but she blinked the tears away. Noah wouldn't want tears and she knew that. Turning and squaring her shoulders she raised the gun at the needed level. Her back was already tense and the longest, most calming shower wasn't going to help release the knots forming. Everything was lined up. The black gun almost felt light now. In a bizarre way it was like the angel of death in the form of a tool and she squeezed her left hand around the bottom of her right, jaw tense, saliva forming in her mouth until all she saw was Noah's eyes. She looked up, only an inch above those eyes that didn't give away his internal struggle and pulled back on the trigger.
One bullet less in her chamber. One bullet that had found a home in someone she cared about. One less life.
Dropping her stance she refused to look at his slumped body and twisted limbs. She took in a chiselled breath and rubbed her eyes, distracting herself to not look, to avoid the images at all cost. The door opening made her clench her jaw. It was too soon to deal with anyone. She needed a moment to herself and she wasn't being a diva, she just needed a fucking moment.
"We can get him." The whisper came. Rachel knew the voice and it didn't provide her any comfort like usual. "We'll hold a service tonight," Quinn said, in planning mode already and Rachel thought it was the blonde's way of processing everything. Keep moving, keep going, not let it sink in until you go through the motions of common decency and then the grieving will start. Rachel only gave a terse nod. Her voice couldn't be trusted for the first time in her life and saliva was still pooling in the back of her throat. She needed to leave, she needed to get away and she did. As smoothly and quickly as her legs would allow she turned to the door and practically sprinted up the stairs to the bathroom where she threw up everything she ate once she kicked the door closed.
The sting and ripples to her stomach were the last push for the tears. Crying into the bowl made her feel slightly pathetic but she didn't care. One hand was clutched to the cold porcelain while her right hand fiercely still held onto the gun. She breathed through her nose shallow breaths that felt painful because she knew Puck wasn't breathing anymore; she had taken that luxery away from him. Her stomach clenched again and she aimed into the bowl, dry heaving and spitting up clear saliva. When that finally stopped after too many minutes that made her feel wrecked she scooted back and leaned against the wall. The sweat was forming near her hairline and if she felt compelled to stand and look in the mirror she'd sure a pale girl would look back at her. A stranger. Because never did she think she'd kill a friend. She rubbed at her eyes again and pushed any tears back with her left hand. It hurt to put that much pressure but it was a real pain that she could handle. Physical was easier to digest than emotional.
It took a few minutes of her sitting on the floor until she reached out a shaky hand and gribbed a cabinet for support. Pulling herself up she quickly glanced into the mirror and flinched. She was right, that was a stranger, a barely recognizable person. In the two seconds she took in brown eyes that were lifeless. Splashing water on her face she removed every trace of salt and toweled off. She had to flex her hand when she finally set the gun down. her knuckles popped and groaned at the new movement. When she picked it up again it was starting to feel weightless. This time she didn't look in the mirror. If it showed she looked better than she felt it was a lie and if it showed she looked like hell and had been dragged through the streets she still knew it would be a lie because she felt worse.
She grabbed a black jacket from her room and threw it on. Picking the gun back up again and squeezing the handle she felt the solidness and the weight of it but it was becoming more and more like an appendage. Smoothly going down the stairs and shielding her eyes from the rising sun with her left hand she looked out at the emptiness.
"Where are you going?" Quinn asked, looking her over. She didn't have her biting tone as she once had and Rachel was glad she didn't seem critical but she also didn't want someone to depend on her at the moment. Looking the blonde over she noticed aviators were in her v-neck tshirt. She reached out and took them, carefully avoided touching Quinn further than that. Really, she hadn't touched her at all except to steal something from the former cheerleader who almost smirked at her own thought that Rachel really was a klepto, but smirking or smiling felt entirely out of place at the moment. Instead hazel eyes focused on brown eyes that were gone in a flash as Rachel slipped on the sunglasses.
"Out." Rachel said concretly and Quinn was stunned how robotic she sounded. This was Rachel Berry. Rachel Barbara Berry who was obsessed with a certain Barbara Streisand; who expressed herself to such intense degrees when her emotions became too much, too big to contain. This wasn't Rachel Berry she knew. Quinn didn't have the chance to process beyond that. She wanted to hug the smaller girl. It was possible. Mercedes was looking after Beth for the time being and no one was on the porch with them. Everyone knew what had happened to Puck. That was abundantly clear when Rachel came downstairs and the banter came to a halt when she reached the ground floor.
She had to get out. How bizarre that she'd spent years trying to be friends with these people and now she needed to cut herself off and leave. Solitude wasn't safe but she craved it. It was harsh but she dismissed Quinn who looked at her with such ambivalence. And dare she think it-longing. Quinn never looked at anyone like that, she was a statue...except at night.
Crunching was heard as she walked off the porch and over the the side where they kept all the cars. The motorcycle seemed reckless and thrilling but Rachel knew it was too big for her and...fuck she was going to ask Noah to build her a smaller one or find her one and now...
Swallowing was becoming a struggle. Every emotion was building and she felt like a volcano. It felt too raw, like lava was stripping her vocal chords at the attempt to contain her emotions. Quickly she chose the beat up but fast volkswagon golf. Brittany had picked it out, saying it was cute. Its silver paint wasn't flashy and Rachel felt like it really suited her mood since it resembled the tin man and she was wondering if she had a heart. The keys were always on the seats of the cars they took in case they all needed to leave. The ignition was loud and the rumble cut through the air, masking the sound of Quinn calling out her name as she set her gun down on the seat, finally dropping it.
Punching in the drive...as best as she could punch it she accelerated and drove off their patch of land to the street. With the window rolled down she rested her elbow against the door and held her head in her hand. When the needle climbed to eighty she felt something. A slice of freedom. It wasn't a letting go, she didn't think she'd ever release everything she felt because it was too much to express, to offer the world. It was her burden. Though she didn't view it as a weight to bear, but she felt like Atlas's sister...if such a person existed. When the needle reached eighty-five she slowed down. She was far enough away from the house now, a good fifteen minutes out. How time flew when you were wrapped up in misery.
Not that she needed to but out of habit she pulled over to the side. She was wasting gas but she didn't care. It was the least of her priorities. Gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles turned red then white she screamed. Screamed like she had never before. Horror movie actresses couldn't compete with her. Her vocal chords strained and god damn it the tears started again when she realized she didn't care at all if her voice would be damaged. She kept screaming. Their bubble ruptured in such a way that she felt sick and she didn't know who she was anymore. Rachel Berry-singer? No. Rachel Berry-leader? No. Rachel Berry-girlfriend? No. Rachel Berry-murderer? Maybe.
The screaming alerted nearby U.D's. She was too stuck in her head to notice until a dragging sound was heard. A chain was wrapped around an Instinctual's leg, its ankle twisted and advancing on her like a disgusting swamp monster. The chain only added to it since it looked like seaweed. Or maybe it was the green, tattered clothes the guy wore. Rachel couldn't decide and again she simply didn't fucking care. She grasped her gun and practically kicked the door open. Getting out and squaring her shoulders again she quickly set up the shot and pulled the trigger. A hundred feet behind that one was another U.D and before the chained man completely fell to the ground she put another bullet in the next one. Wam Bam-thank you Ma'am. She hated that expression Artie had used but she almost allowed herself to smirk at the thought.
To her left was a groan. The smallest sounds were like alarm clocks, tells that she should gear up and go. A woman in a floral print dress with one sandle missing was advancing on her sooner than the rest. Rachel waited until the U.D got seven feet away, swing her right arm around, dropped her left, rolled her shoulders and pulled the trigger again. Brain matter projected several feet behind the unlucky woman and she fell in a wet sounding lump. The level of disturbance was increasing. It was so simple to aim, point, and shoot. No wonder she thought the army was creepy. Building soldiers to kill. Hadn't she done that with her friends though? No no...she rationalized war was about money and politics, this was about survival.
A minute passed of quiet, painful silence that made Rachel all too aware of her breathing. The fact that she was breathing and so many others were was overwhelming. She wasn't the type to have a panic attack but she felt one building and she needed another distraction. Thankfully some higher power wasn't to amuse her and three U.D's strolled towards her from her right. They were in a diagonal formation, likely not intended but it reminded her of bowling pins. Oh the time when a pink ball and the possibility of diseases in the holes were her biggest concerns.
She squared her shoulders again and let the last one have a bullet. It was the fastest goodbye she could give them, sealed with a fuck you, if she ever voiced her desire to curse but wasn't one for profanity. Lately she was thinking it more and more. The second one went down and now she wasn't seeing their faces, just foreheads to aim at. It was almost becoming a game. See how close she could get them until that deep self preservation made her pull the trigger. Only this time when she pulled the trigger nothing came. Nothing. Empty. She didn't have a weapon. She was practically naked and her eyes widened feeling too exposed even though she was three feet away from the car and a quick drive back to the house. It would even be possible to run this Instrinctual over so he wouldn't follow her back to the base. Taking a step to the car she noticed it was the wrong move because he moved closer in a dash. She hadn't seen an Instinctual move that quickly, which meant he had been turned not too long and was still limber. Why hadn't she noted that he didn't move like wooden boards? Was she assuming too much? Had she overestimated? Quickly she slid into the seat and manually rolled up the window. The muscles in her forearm slightly bulging as she cut off any way for the U.D to get closer to her...unless he smashed the window...cut himself in the process and bled on her then it would be over.
The arrow that went through the side of his head and logged in his temple made a thunk sound and Rachel heard it through the closed door. Lifeless eyes stayed open but unforcused as the body slid to the street.
An arrow...
She looked around, eyes scanning the distance and checked the rearview mirror. A black pt cruiser was behind her that wasn't there before but there wasn't anyone inside. If she had any nerves left and was capable of being alarm she would have jumped when she heard a light tapping at the passenger window. When Rachel didn't make a move to reach over and try to roll down the window a pale arm pulled the door open and stuck her head in. The brunette clenched her jaw. This was her time, her space and she may be acting like a diva to a small degree, but she wanted to be alone. She focused ahead and felt eyes on her but tried to ignore them. For a minute they were at an impasse. The silence wasn't calming and wasn't at all like how it felt when they laid in bed together as Quinn gently glinded her hands up and down her spin. When it became too much Rachel clenched the steering wheel and asked in a grave tone to the dashboard, "What are you doing?"
"Playing soccer." The dry, sarcastic reply came back immediately and Rachel dropped her eyes down to her lap. The animosity she expected wasn't there. Quinn was far from playful in her tone but she wasn't attacking her or calling her a cold hearted murderer like she expected. She had just killed Beth's father...
"What are you doing?" Quinn asked after another minute of silence but felt that Rachel deserved someone to ask her how she was even though she hadn't voiced those words.
"Contemplating." Rachel whispered and the blonde found it depressing how stripped and raw she sounded.
"Do you want to come back to the house and talk about it?" She said softly, as though pushing Rachel would break her. In her more immature days she had attacked Rachel with the intent of taking her down and tearing her apart, but this Rachel was like a leaf that could get shreaded if a wind hit it.
The slightest shrug Rachel offered didn't say anything. The girl was falling into herself, getting buried in her thoughts and a part of Quinn wanted to take the brunette and lock them in her room and tell her things that should have been said for days now. Of course she heard a sound behind her and pivoted in time to take an arrow from her pack and set it into the bow. A quick release and the Instinctual was down. Turning back to Rachel and dipping her head into the car again she willed herself to find the right words.
"Come back the the house. The funeral won't be until tomorrow. Everyone wants to prepare for it...you can meet me in my room. Mercedes has Beth tonight." Quinn said in a way that was emotionally unattached. To Rachel it seemed that way but she didn't know that after years of practice Quinn was able to appear calm and cool. The brunette gave the smallest nod and heard Quinn shut the door. She watched her walk away in the rearview mirror, graceful, fluid steps that seemed certain as that life saving bow was held in her hand like a gun. To Quinn her bow was like Rachel's gun and the brunette knew that but watching Quinn get into the black car and wait for her to drive away first hit her that someone had come looking for her, someone in the form of an ex cheerleader with a previously well hidden caring streak was following her back to the house.
What to say to Quinn? I'm sorry wouldn't be enough. When she got to the house she went straight to her room and avoided everyone. Her classmates seemed to sense Rachel's intense desire to be alone so they didn't try to talk to her. Quinn came in next and met the nervous and sad eyes of everyone who seemed to be nonverbally begging the question can we talk to her now? The blonde shook her head to the room and went up to her bedroom.
It was hours until the house had quited down into its lull of soft singing that now came at night with Beth in the house. Mercedes's soulful singing was floating through the air until it stopped. Quinn missed the girl's singing. This was still beautiful but when the self proclaimed diva belted it her talent was jaw dropping. The same applied to Rachel, who she hadn't heard in weeks. It was like the tiny singer was denying herself. The pleasure and joy Rachel had from singing...that high and smile and pure emotion was gone and now this was this shell of a person. Her thoughts stopped when her door opened and Rachel stepped in, shutting the door quietly to not disturb the very silent house. The darkness covered Rachel's facial expressions but Quinn knew she had been crying. The sadness was emminating out of her. The brunette stayed with her back against the door, not daring to move towards the bed yet.
"Rachel..." Quinn started but didn't know what to say beyond that.
"You know you never really called me by my first name until all this happened..." The smaller girl trailed off, not needing to state what this was. The chaos, the hell, and purgatory on earth. Her voice was so metalic that Quinn nearly flinched. There weren't any emotions to Rachel. Pulling back to covers Quinn slowly got out of bed and moved to stand in front of the ex singer. Without hesitancy and with such care she held the smaller girl's hand and gently pulled her to the bed but made the point to sit on the edge of the bed as Rachel stood. She couldn't have done what Rachel did today and she never wanted to have to. It was horrible and that was understating it. Rachel deserved someone to support her and help her process it rather than look down on her or condescend as though they knew how she felt because that would have been the biggest pile of bullshit anyone had seen in weeks.
No, she was content to look up at Rachel and hold her waist. She pulled her in closer so her lips were touching her thin sweater. It may have been absurd that the brunette didn't wear thicker clothes at night but with Quinn who was practically a heater she didn't need to. Half the time she would have to take her shirt off and be half naked with the blonde softly curled around her and pink lips against the back of her neck.
"Are you ready to talk?" Quinn asked in a whisper that wasn't a push or a command but with a tone that said I want to listen, let me listen. Instead she felt small hands work her way into her hair and massage the back of her neck.
"I don't want to talk," Rachel whispered back and moved closer until she was straddling the blonde. It was a graceful moment and Quinn's breath caught as Rachel leaned down and kissed her, taking control and kissing as though she needed to. Pale hands came around a small back and held her steady but Quinn felt Rachel shift again and drop her arms to her own torso. When she pulled up and the sweater came off the blonde swallowed. Rachel had been half naked in her bed before, this wasn't new, but it was still shocking. The brunette's breasts were never in her face and her back was always turned to her. That one time when Rachel had told Quinn to touch her the former cheerleader was close to having a heart attack when the now bare breasts had been covered by a bra. Quinn closed her eyes to collect herself. This wasn't a hundred percent right. Rachel needed to talk and this was a distraction. They both knew it, but could the distraction help Rachel?
Hazel eyes opened to meet black eyes. She missed the brown. When it was this dark Rachel's eyes seemed black. Still beautiful, but Quinn wanted to see Rachel. God help her she knew Rachel was going to walk out of the room, grab her sweater from the floor and never come back but she needed to do this.
"Hold on." She said quietly and pulled Rachel closer to her, stomach meeting stomach until she smoothly flipped them over. A glare appeared on Rachel's features, clearly annoyed that her position had been changed but Quinn bent down and kissed her cheek, tasting the salt there and the tell that the ex singer had been crying. Removing herself from the smaller girl she moved to the side of her bed and pulled out the drawer of the table and grabbed a lighter. Palming a candle the tilted it to get to the wick and flicked the metal roll. The clicking and breathing were the only sounds in the room as Quinn lit the few candles she had in her room. Gently placing the lighter back in, feeling that an abrubt sound sound tarnish what was building Quinn slid back into bed and laid on her back. She glanced at Rachel who had closed her eyes and kept clenching her jaw.
The soft light made the haunted girl look that much more depressing and that much more beautiful. Beautifully depressing. Again a pale hand reached out and this time swept across Rachel's flat stomach who released a small hum. Then to her hip where her thumb drew small circles until she pulled the brunette closer and back into her lap. The smaller woman's eyes finally opened when she was settled back on top of Quinn and the blonde was happy to see brown again. She swallowed, knowing she needed to voice something that was incredibly important. For a minute they looked at one another and both wondered if these pregnant pauses were going to be part of their dynamic. If touches were going to convey more than words ever could as Quinn brought her hand up and let her thumb brush across her tan cheek.
"Do you want to do this? We don't have to and I don't know how...healthy this is going to be in the long run...and I don't really know what I'm doing here..." she whispered and raised her eyebrows slightly at the world here which encompassed their positions and the fact that Rachel had said they weren't going to talk but find other ways to connect.
"If you take off your shirt I want to do this," Rachel said almost clinically. Quinn couldn't stop the frown at how impersonal she sounded. For a second she felt like a convenience for the now stoic woman but she somehow knew Rachel wanted to feel less exposed and balance would be appreciated. It felt out of character, but this world was changing them and Quinn felt the desire to comply, to make Rachel feel good on some level, but she also wanted words. She'd read enough poetry to know that words could alter the world.
"I...I will but I need to know," she paused and swallowed, annoying at how unsuave that was. "Why are you with me?"
Calm and waiting golden eyes looked up at her. To Rachel they looked like flecks of gold were taking over the green in the candlelight. If the ex singer took the moment to think if all through she would have felt the layers. How she wasn't Lucy, she was Quinn, just a girl who was being romantic and considerate. A girl who wanted a form of light on, to actually see her and take in ever facial expression. But she was overthinking and instead of voicing her thought- I need you, she settled for a half truth and said with emotion for the first time half the day, "I need this." The blonde nodded and Rachel took that as the go ahead. She needed it and she wanted the control.
Reaching down she trailed her hands from Quinn's shoulders to her hips where she slipped her hands under the shirt and slowly removed it. It wouldn't be right if it was done in haste and rushed. They had hours, time was on their side and Rachel was thrilled that Quinn who seemed the type to always be in control was giving it up. Rachel kissed her harder but with growing passion after the blonde raised her arms and let the shirt fall to the floor. Warm hands were holding onto her back again and Rachel released a small gasp when Quinn shifted and placed her lips on her neck, lightly kissing a trail down to her chest where she let her lips linger over her heart as she pulled her closer. Tan arms wrapped around pale, soft shoulders and held her head there as if saying please, please keep doing that.
Quinn was more than fine just kissing near Rachel's collar bones and above where her beating heart was. She was alive and that was the most important thing. The shell of a person was starting to fill up and Rachel breathed deeper and moaned softly. A small hand twisted around to her own and she felt Rachel move her hand to rest near her ribs, giving the go ahead to inch upward. The blonde was in tactile bliss. Rachel was soft. The softest person she had ever kissed and she felt conflicted. She was familiar with kissing this girl but she was asking for more and that was unsolid ground, it was unknown and Quinn Fabray didn't do anything unless she was really good at it. But she had a feeling she'd have to learn Rachel and read her like one of her books, again and again and find the beauty in it.
Because Rachel was beautiful. And before she could stop her thoughts she ended a kiss to the delicate spot below her collar bone, looked up at this girl who made her depressed that she hadn't heard her sing in weeks and seemed so fragile, so small and pulled her closer still with an arm around her waist in a protective hold. She knew it was futile, just hours ago she had seen Rachel wheld a gun that made her look the epitome of lethal, and the contrasting images didn't match up as she considered that she was being used to their leader could relax, but she said it anyway.
"You're beautiful."
Lips crashed against her again and Quinn's lungs were aching after a moment. Rachel pulled back and locked her eyes with hers in a challenge. Follow my lead her eyes conveyed and softened when she gave the sneakiest smirk that quickly vanished when she made the blonde's hand rest on her breast. Quinn's fingertips grazed Rachel's left collar bone and her palm felt something like a tickle from the nipple that was rubbing against it with Rachel's labored breathing.
"More, Lucy." Rachel said with a soft command and Quinn thought she was starting to sound more like the girl she knew. She gave the smallest squeeze, a barely there gesture but brought her fingers down to roll the brunette's nipple and slowly move her thumb back and forth over it. She watched as the brunette bit her lip at the simple gesture. It still felt incredibly innocent and Quinn wanted it to stay that way for a while. Teasing was something she was good at and that felt familiar to her. Her mind caught up and told her she could do this. Frustrating Rachel was something she had grown to enjoy over the past few weeks. Being cheeky with her and seeing how far she could go until Rachel would make an excuse and say she had to check on something always amused her. It was part of their routine. And when Quinn kissed the side of her body and tasted the skin near Rachel's ribs she smiled at how the brunette squirmed and knew a laugh was building in the back of the ex singer's throat. That was a tickle spot. Quinn was golden. When she pinched the aroused nipple she heard the would be laughter turn into a moan. Shifting her hands she did the same to Rachel's left side but nipped at the skin and smoothed her tongue over the brief amount of pain she had inflicted. It wasn't intense. She could do playful, but she could never physically hurt Rachel, not when they were like this.
"Since when can't you take instruction?" Rachel said with hands weaving into blonde hair and tugging. Quinn only mmmm'ed back and Rachel groaned back. "Lucy." She said louder.
"If you let me do what I'm good at then you'd enjoy it and THEN I'll take your direction." Quinn said lifting her head and then went back to kissing the available skin. Her lips went from her sternum to her chest and Rachel wanted to take the blonde's head and make her mouth go to her breasts already. The second the archer stopped Rachel was ready to voice her opinion on how much of pain Lucy was being but her mouth fell open in a moan when nails scratched down her spin and a release of pleasure went through her. With her head tossed back she didn't notice Quinn lick two of her own fingertips until she felt wetness and a tweak to her right nipple. A shuddering moan was heard in the room. Quinn wanted to hear it again. Pinching another time Quinn kissed Rachel and swallowed the more enthusiatic moan to not wake the house. A smirk was on her face when she pulled back and Rachel's eyes looked unfocused.
"Why haven't we done this before?" Rachel questioned in a breathy voice that the blonde was liking immensely because she did that. Again Rachel with her questions. Quinn shrugged, unsure herself and briefly considered that Rachel was oddly enough the one to control much of what they did. Rachel was squirming in her lap and Quinn felt like rewarding her for lasting this long and not protesting or lecturing her. She couldn't imagine a sex lecture for the tiny brunette but anything was possible when it came to this girl. With a smirk she moved her head from her neck and brought her lips down to a peaked nipple. Taking the bud into her mouth she rolled her tongue and didn't stop to think about how she was experiencing foreplay with a girl. Rachel's moans were the only thing musical the former singer was expressing and if it was the closest thing she was going to get she was going to make sure she kept Rachel doing that.
"Oh my god." Rachel whispered and Quinn part of her body clench at how wanton Rachel sounded and how turned on. The girl who used to dress similar to a librarian or Catholic school girl was into this. When Quinn moved her lips to the neglected breast and swirled the tip of her tongue around the nipple for the sake of teasing she felt Rachel pull demandingly at her hair. And she felt wanted. Quinn felt needed and wanted without any pressure. Rachel wasn't going to judge her and if there was something she wanted she was going to show her. The archer was thankful for that because that took some pressure off as well and she had to respect the brunette for being certain in what she wanted and the type to go and get it.
She didn't know how long she was focused on Rachel's breasts and she really didn't care to keep track. They were really nice. Perfect maybe. Not that she had anything to compare them to but her own, but they were very soft and Rachel still tasted sweet even as she felt the brunette warm up and lightly begin to sweat. She could feel it on her spine, the barely amount, but the texture was amazing. It had to have been over five minutes of kissing and suckling Rachel. She almost blushed when she realized what she was doing but Rachel's moans were wonderful and prompted her to keep going.
A hand took her wrist that was holding onto her side and brought it to her lower stomach. Fingertips were splayed out and ready to dip down and into the small shorts that Rachel was wearing but Quinn halted and moaned a Mmmm. Instead she circled her hand back to the hip and bit the inside of her lip when Rachel groaned in annoyance. She never said Rachel would have all the control, but her hand continued and pushed down, past the material and cupped Rachel's cheek.
Go freaking figure, she thought, that Rachel would have a great butt. When the girl wore jeans it was really obvious but seeing and touching were entirely different. She moaned at the feel and Rachel moaned as well, the sounds wrapping together like a duet.
Rachel fell on top of her at the pull and gasped when their bare breasts touched. Quinn didn't remove her hand but brought her left hand down to a small hip and pulled her closer so they were more eye level. Dark hair fell over Rachel's face and Quinn's left hand came up to brush it back and tuck it behind her ear, allowing her to see the small smile that formed on Rachel's lips.
"Did I ever tell you that you're a great kisser?" Rachel asked and glanced to pink lips.
"You and your questions." The blonde replied with a smile that made her statement lighter.
"You don't know how to accept a compliment." Rachel said with narrowed eyes. "Fine, but I'll enjoy the benefits." She said with a smirk and leaned down to kiss the taller girl who was kind enough to make sure they were at the same height. Rachel didn't even mind when her other butt cheek was given a squeeze after both hands found their way under her shorts. She didn't know what Quinn's type was and had never put in the thought because Quinn Fabray kissing her when they're both half naked was out of this world. Literally wrapping your head around it was like believing in every notion that was in the sci-fi genre. Again the blonde shifted and instead of being naturally curious what she was doing Rachel chose not to care. So far everything the taller girl was doing was amazing and she didn't mind not controlling ever aspect.
A muscular thigh was moved between Rachel's and met at her apex while Quinn pulled her closer. The pressure was amazing and Rachel hotly whispered into the blonde's ear, "Oh holy Moses." Quinn didn't stop the laugh, she couldn't if she tried and if her life depended on it. She didn't want to seem like she was mocking Rachel and make her feel like her reactions weren't beautiful, but she laughed and squeezed at the smaller girl's ass again while she pushed her thigh upwards, creating a gentle friction.
"You probably shouldn't say a guy's name in my bed." The bottom girl replied and kissed near Rachel's jaw that had gone slack after she shifted her hip.
"I'll make a mental note." Rachel offered quickly and bit her lip again. "Keep going," she demanded but didn't have as much command as before. This time Quinn removed her hands and placed them firmly on her hips so she could move Rachel exactly when she wanted her. It was incredibly helpful that the brunette was so tiny and fit with her to the point that when her thigh moved in synch with Rachel's hips that she kept moving up and down, pressing her against herself, it felt like a key sliding into a lock.
Time wasn't important, it wasn't on her mind and both were unaware they spent nearly ten minutes moving against one another, building and building and kissing to contain moans and mask the sounds of pleasure. Finally Rachel whispered harshly, "Stop." Quinn became a rock and Rachel was almost scared she had turned her to stone or pretrified her. But looking down she noticed the ex cheerleader's breathing was ragged and she felt a little impressed with herself knowing how in shape the girl beneath her was. For a second she thought it didn't matter that she was laying on Quinn because the blonde was very much a top. She should have expected that, it seemed to go along with her personality, but Rachel wanted to switch it up. Bringing her palms up and pressing into creamy white shoulders she moved her hands to the sides of Quinn's head and lifted herself up so she was looking down at hazel eyes. For a few seconds hazel eyes looked worried as though she had done something wrong but Rachel only sat up more swiftly moved to her back where she quickly removed her shorts. It happened in less than five seconds and Quinn's brain wasn't catching up until she felt Rachel's light weight straddle her again.
"Resume." Rachel smirked down at her and only grew when golden eyes widened. She watched as the blonde's hand twitched against the matress, unsure of what to do. Slowly she took her left hand and glided it from her stomach to her breast again. That seemed to get the supposedly smart girl's mind going again.
Didn't she get into Yale? Rachel thought and bit her bottom lip. An act that Quinn was starting to adore.
"You're naked...you're very naked." Quinn said in awe. This was it. Rachel was with her and she looked stunning and breakable and beautiful and a lot of other things that weren't coming to mind because words couldn't prepare her for this.
"Well done, Watson," Rachel said playfully.
"Male names in my bed. Not allowed," the cheeky blonde said and empasized her point with a love bit to a bare hip bone to nonverbally reiterate her statement. Rather than continue their banter Rachel took the free right hand and moved it from her own hip to lower and lower and...
Thank god this was with Lucy because she felt so raw and vulnerable, even as she was looking down at the person who was cupping her and moving fingertips so gently over her as she thumbed her nipple.
"Continue, Lucy." God that demanding tone was starting to be a turn on and Quinn felt it in her core, in her chest when it tightened as Rachel took her hand and bent her ring and pinky finger to her palm. The squeeze to her wrist was a nonverbal tell of go slow. Quinn's jaw dropped. This was real. She was feeling this, the emotions, the weight of Rachel, the wetness.
She groaned and Rachel swallowed the sound when she bent down to kiss her. Tan forearms were pressing into her shoulders, raising herself so Quinn could fit her hand between them better and slowly moved down, breathing in deeply as the blonde hesitantly filled her. At the feeling she wanted to sob at how right it felt, how much she needed it and wanted this. Her body stopped moving, too overwhelmed, and she bit her lip for an entirely different reason when Quinn began to rub her lower back and whisper in her ear, "Its okay, I've got you."
She paused and breathed deeper to suppress any tears. "You're beautiful. I'm not going to move, okay? We can stop." At that Rachel heard the strain. She knew the blonde would stop if she asked, but the realization that she was turning Quinn Fabray on was a turn on in itself. For a solid thirty seconds she wondered if Quinn was being so considerate because her first time wasn't like this, something soft and reassuring, fun, emotional, and beautiful. She knew Quinn hadn't slept with anyone else after having Beth and this had to be overwhelming for her.
A lingering kiss was given to a pale cheek and Rachel took the time to dip her head down and breath in the scent near Quinn's neck. When she let her back relax and moved further onto Quinn she heard the blonde moan and herself gasp when she felt her muscles clench around Quinn. Both knew Rachel was practically pulling her in and holding her there. She gasped again when she lifted her hips slightly and experimentally brought them slowly down again.
Quinn looked up at Rachel as the ex singer rode her fingers. "Do you...have any idea how beautiful you are?" The blonde asked with a pause as she looked at Rachel, saw her pulse jump in her neck and brown eyes become blown. Rachel fleetingly thought that instead of flat out telling one another how they felt they were going to get in the habit of asking questions. She raked her nails over a pale shoulder and felt Quinn's right hand twitch a little and move into her. The groan was visceral and deep and Rachel wanted to feel it again. The reciprication was intoxicating when Quinn touched her back and was engaged and gave as much as Rachel was taking. A shaky hand was pressed under Quinn's chin and she was forced to look up and end her kisses to Rachel's chest.
"Make me forget." Rachel pleaded and held the prettiest face she had seen in her hand. Her index finger rested near the top of Quinn's elfish ear, her palm holding her strong chin, and her thumb running over her smooth cheek. The blonde took in a steady breath and held it. Their playful tone was a rouse and they knew it. Such few words and Rachel brought the seriousness back, the full weight of it because there was a purpose to their touches. Their world was going to change. Again.
For better or for worse?
