I am sorry that I disappeared for a few days. I've been super busy. I know the last chapter was disappointing and I am sorry for that. But please understand that Alex was only 18 in my story and that was her first run. She needed someone and Soso was just there. But I still want to apologize. I promise things will get better. And I promise that I will update faster. And thank you for the reviews. Please keep them coming.
A good relationship is when someone accepts your past; supports your presents; and encourages your future.
Chapter 9
It was the first time in 18 years that Alex felt nervous. Yes, she has been a drug dealer pretty much since high school and she has been great at it. She loved this part-time job. It provided her the economic support that she would not be able to get from her family.
But for the first time, Alex realized that her work was dangerous. And it would only get worse. Nicky and she tried to be as calm as possible during the run and they were not bad at all. The bosses were happy. But no one knew that they threw up twice on the flight back and their hands never stopped from shaking.
Alex did not consume any alcohol or drugs that night but she was a complete mess. She didn't know what she was doing. She was a malicious wolf that needed pure physical release. She didn't think. She couldn't think. She was so rough and selfish during the sex that made Soso completely awake from her intoxication.
Soso opened her eyes and was terrified by Alex. What Alex has been doing to her was nothing close to pleasure.
And that was when Soso realized that she was simply a lamb that brought herself to the wolf.
If Soso didn't know before, she knew totally and completely at that moment that Alex Vause did not have the slightest feeling for her. Women sometimes wouldn't get it until they were in the process of lovemaking. It was sad and pathetic even.
Soso was very hurt. She really liked Alex. But Alex chose to tell her that she didn't like her back this way.
Soso stopped Alex and pushed her away. She grabbed her clothes and left knowing that Alex Vause could be nothing more than just her classmate.
Alex's head was still a blank. Alex had no clue what just happened. But she finally felt exhausted and fell asleep on the floor.
This was Alex Vause at 18. She was not perfect at all. She's a smart and hardworking Ivy League freshman. But she was also a drug dealer. She was tough on the outside but sometimes those people were even more fragile. She never had a relationship that lasted longer than 3 months. And she was never in love.
.
Piper was still awake. She had trouble falling asleep the whole weekend and she didn't know why. Or you could say that she knew exactly the reason but chose to ignore it. It was peace and quiet tonight. People were in their sweet dreams in hopes that Monday would not come so fast. Piper, on the other hand, was sitting on her chair and writing.
Dear Alex,
It is 3am on Monday. I couldn't fall asleep so I thought I might as well just get up and write to you.
I am sorry that I didn't get you see you on Friday as well. I hope you had a great weekend though. I didn't have much fun during the weekend but I finished all the works that were left behind and managed to finish some works for this week in advance. I am very proud of myself
How are you? How was your weekend with Nicky?
.
Where the fuck have you been? How could you disappear on me?—is what Piper really wanted to write.
Piper didn't know how to continue. She was actually pretty pissed but she didn't want Alex to know. Not through this platform. She was very good at hiding her own feelings. And she didn't like to lose control. Piper put down the pen and went to the kitchen for a drink.
.
At 3am also, Alex suddenly woke up. She had a bad dream that she refused to go for the second drug run. And Farhi reported it to Cubra who gave the order to give a lesson to the disobedience. And before she realized it was a dream and opened her eyes, Piper suddenly appeared in her mind.
And Alex was suddenly scared. Yes, she was very nervous after her first run. But she was not scared. However the thought of Piper might be mad at her or would never talk to her again made her really scared and nauseous. She got up and went to the bathroom. She threw up everything that was left in her stomach. And Alex started shaking. She was suddenly disgusted by what she did. She needed to talk to Piper and explained to her and asked for her forgiveness.
Alex took out her phone and then realized that she didn't even have Piper's phone number. All she had is her office phone number and her school email with a cold .edu ending.
So she grabbed her coat and left the room at 3:10am in the morning and headed to Piper's apartment.
Piper's apartment was on the north side. Alex's dorm was on the opposite side. So when she arrived at the parking area she was frozen. But she had no idea what to do. She didn't think before she went out. She didn't know Piper's apartment number. She knew she couldn't shout Piper's name. It was too dangerous. So she just stood in the parking lot and lighted a cigarette to keep her warm. She didn't know what else to do so she just kept smoking and smoking.
.
Piper got herself some hot tea. Even though it was September, the nights could still get chilly. She put on her coat and went to the balcony for a cigarette. She didn't like the smell staying in the apartment so she always went to the balcony when she smoked. It was freezing outside. The balcony faced the parking lot side on the third floor, so the view was bad. Piper hated it. And when she was reaching the ashtray on the floor she spotted the brunette girl with black frame glasses.
It took Piper almost a minute to realize that this was real life and that girl was indeed Alex Vause. Piper jumped and waved at her. Alex didn't look up. So Piper took her keys and went downstairs. She was so surprised and so happy.
She ran to the parking lot and to Alex who was on her fifth cigarette.
"Alex! What are you doing here?" Piper was excited.
"Holy shit. You scared me Piper," Alex's eyes were brighten up, "I just want to see you." Alex answered honestly.
"Why don't you cal… Right... You don't have my number." Piper realized, "Geez, you are literally shaking. How long have you been here? Come up with me. You need a hot drink or you'll get a cold." Piper demanded.
Alex did not say a word. She just followed Piper.
Piper tried to be as gentle as possible when she opened the door. She didn't want to wake up Polly. They went straightly to Piper's room.
"Here drink it." Piper handed her cup to Alex, who was still shaking. The hot tea got her glasses steaming up so she put them on her head.
Alex put the cup down on the desk after a sip and sat on the couch. She hasn't said a word since she came in. She just kept staring at Piper.
Piper sat next to her and stared back. They looked at each other quietly for awhile. The bird sounds, the car noises on the street suddenly disappeared.
Piper broke the silence finally and asked softly, "How are you?"
"I think I slept with someone." Alex just spilled it out straightly like that without any preparation.
Alex continued without giving Piper a chance to respond, "I had no idea what I was doing. And I don't remember whom was I with. I didn't even remember how I got back from the airport and went back to my room. I don't know. I don't know. All I know is that I need to see you."
Piper didn't say a word. The room suddenly became even quieter.
"Look, Piper. I am so sorry. I know I fucked up. And you have everything right to be angry. I wouldn't blame you if you want a way out right away." Alex looked at Piper and said carefully.
Piper was hurt. Her heart hurt so much. And it was that moment she realized that this tall brunette girl took her heart.
"Alex, I love you." Piper spilled out her first sentence.
