Was a bit surprised how many people were looking forward to Charlus showing up, well here you go folks, the only father figure Tom will ever likely have...or need. Also I know it's kinda short but since last update was really just a blurb and only a few days ago I figured I'd treat you all.

Answering a few questions now:

Why was Harry able to fake being a girl so well? Simple, he just combined elements of what he'd observed in the muggle world with Luna's randomness and Ginny's forwardness and kinda let it fly on its own. Remember Iris hasn't hit puberty yet so she doesn't have hormones addling anything...yet.

Why does Harry think quiditch is stupid? Because Nemesis13 hates quiditch, he hates reading about it, and he most definitely hates writing it. In this timeline Harry used quiditch as an excuse to fly since it was the only freedom he had ever experienced and he relished it despite finding the sport he played idiotic.

Why does Tom seem a bit submissive? He's not, remember most of these early chapters took place in the same day, Iris knew what she was doing and he took a step back to let her do her thing while he observed and made his own plans in silence.

How does Harry know what he does about the Black family? That's my primary deviation from cannon, instead of leaving the country after his escape at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban Sirius kidnapped Harry and took him on a series of insane adventures including attempting to get him a harem of veela. In the process Harry received a crash course on upper society and the family history, it's also my way of explaining why the blood wards did nothing to fend off dementors the following year. You broke it Sirius, bad dog.

Anyway, please review!


Lord Charlus Potter was whistling to himself in a rather poor fashion as he made his way down to the wing housing he and his wife's new wards, contemplating how to start their day off. That had been a bit of a surprise really, not an unwanted one mind, he loved kids and couldn't wait to have his own, but definitely a surprise. He was quite glad that Dorea had kept him from even knowing about the family meeting though, much less attending the discussion that had decided the fate of those two.

Knowing his temperament and his own fairly neglected childhood he'd likely have raised up quite a storm, which, to be honest, would have been amusing since he disliked Lord Arcturus immensely. Not that the kids were any more fond of him than he was according to Dorea, her story about 'Stabby' had him on the floor rolling about in laughter for a good spell and he couldn't wait to see what they did to the stuffy bastard next.

Approaching Iris's door he knocked on it gently, getting no answer he cracked the door and peaked inside, seeing a ruffled yet clearly not slept in bed he cocked a brow and moved on to Tom's room. Repeating the process he froze up at what he saw, stuck somewhere between bristling at the impropriety of the sight, and the desire to let out an 'Awww' sound.

The covers had shifted off in the night, little Iris was curled up to Tom's side, head resting on his chest as his left arm rested protectively over her shoulders and they just looked so...damn cute. Smiling to himself he decided to not act like old Fleamont would have to him and instead pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, stood upright, and let out a very loud cough.

He had bet on the fact that kids growing up in an orphanage had instilled what most would call survival instincts, and he had been correct, the pair opened their eyes as one blinking rapidly. Noting that the boys eyes briefly glowed red and the girl's violet before shifting back to their more normal blue and green he threw the now groggily sitting up pair a winning smile.

"'Ello loves! I'm Lord Charlus F. Potter, do not ask what the F. stands for I despise the name immensely. For brevity's sake please just call me Charlus or Uncle Charlie if you will, the 'Lord' thing was my self centered father's decision and not my own. Normally I'd have an elf deliver this message but seeing as how yesterday young Tom didn't even know they existed I decided to give your little hearts a break. Breakfast is ready, I will wait in the hall for you two to dress."

Sweeping out of the room Charlus leaned against the wall and began humming to himself, not thirty seconds later Iris appeared from Tom's room gently closing the door behind her, turning to meet his gaze he couldn't help smirking at her beet red visage.

"L-Charlus I must apologize-" he cut her off with a raised hand and an open smile.

"While it is...inappropriate you two are a bit too young to be getting up to anything questionable, that and I'd hazard a guess that the pair off you were roomed together at Wool's?"

She nodded slowly at that, "Yes sir, no one wished to room with either of us and well...they don't really have much in the way of heating so we had grown accustomed to sleeping beside each other..."

Charlus shrugged lightly at that while making a 'shooing' motion towards her own bedroom, "I figured as much, best get used to sleeping alone for the time being though, Hogwarts doesn't really approve of shared space like that. Now go and get dressed before young Tom finishes preparing for the day before you even get started." She smiled once and gave a brief curtsy before padding away to her room, not thirty seconds later Tom made his appearance whilst fiddling with his tie.

Charlus did his best to hide his amusement at the child's muttered curses as he stepped before Tom taking a knee, "Here son lemme help with that. Acromantula silk looks and feels great but sadly it is highly magic resistant so there is no 'cheat' other than experience when it comes to tying ones tie."

Tom stood still and stared at the grinning man before him in shock, no adult, aside from perhaps Dorea, had ever shown him a modicum of care and this alone froze him up long enough to prevent him from protesting. That...and he'd called Tom son...something he'd daydreamed to happen since...well...forever...

"Th-thank you sir," Charlus scoffed at that as he rolled his eyes and stood back up to his full height.

"Sir he calls me, soon it'll be Lord, then My Lord, and then..." he let out a hiss as he pinched the bridge of his nose pushing his round frame glasses up in the process before gathering himself. Dropping his hands to his sides he was smiling cheerfully a moment later, "Apologies lad, just my own family issues coming to the forefront. You're quite welcome, during the next month I'll be teaching you how to do things like that as well as etiquette befitting an heir as well as other little tidbits."

Before Tom could reply Iris's door opened and the girl in question stepped out into the hall, she was wearing a cream colored long sleeve dress and much to Charlus's amusement had at least a dozen crude knives in her hands.

Meeting the adult's gaze she blushed lightly as she glanced to the side, "I can't hide my tools in any of the clothes left for me and my dress from the orphanage is gone."

Charlus snickered as he offered an open hand to the girl, she very reluctantly handed the weapons over but relaxed a bit when he simply placed them on a table near them.

"That dress is likely already destroyed, as for your weapons Dorea is taking you to the Black armory to get yourself properly outfitted today whilst I take young Tom to the Potter equivalent. Both of you will get proper training on how to defend yourselves in the next few weeks, although your training will likely be more intensive, Dorea is a bit of a stickler on how a Lady of Black should be able to wield a blade."

This had both the children perking up and soon they followed their new guardian down the hall, Charlus glanced over his shoulder now and then barely managing to suppress the urge to snicker every time he saw the pair casually holding hands. Ah to be back at Hogwarts again just to see how they'd react to the Black Heiress and Slytherin Heir interacting like this, chaos pure chaos awaited.

Entering the small room he had turned into a casual dining area Charlus gestured towards the children's seats, they took positions and sat in polite patience as he himself fell heavily into his own chair.

Glancing to the pair he grinned once again, "Dorea is making breakfast for you two today as a treat rather than letting the house elves handle it. I really do find it amazing someone who grew up as a Black has any idea how to cook, much less as well as she does."

"Well dear some of us would rather avoid being 'accidentally' poisoned so necessity overrules propriety at times," Dorea stated cheerfully as she glided into the room. She leaned down and kissed her husband before turning and taking a seat across from her new wards.

"G-good morning La-Dorea," Iris stammered out, Charlus noticed Tom throwing her an odd glance but wrote that off as him being unaccustomed to his friend showing nervousness. If half of what Dorea had told him yesterday had actually happened he could understand the boys confusion, but this was probably the first time the girl finally realized it was all real. She was no longer exiled, she was safe, and she was nervous as hell it was all going to implode before her.

"A good morning to you as well little cousin, and to you Tom, did you sleep well?"

Tom fidgeted a bit before quietly replying, "Yes Dorea we did, it was just...too quiet, we were use to a lot of noise where we lived and it was a bit...unsettling."

Dorea 'hmm'd' at that a moment but before she could say anything else a house elf popped into existence beside her.

"Mistress Potter would yous be liking Dincy to be bringing your foods out for breakfast now?" Smiling down at the elf in a pretty servants dress Dorea nodded slowly in return and with a followup 'pop' the diminutive creature was gone.

Not a moment later a simple yet hearty looking meal appeared before them and with very little encouragement the children tore into their food. Dorea exchanged a sad look with Charlus as she sipped her morning tea observing her young charges.

They didn't eat like savages or anything like that, they were polite but both focused on eating the breakfast meats as fast as possible, to ensure that no one could take them before they could finish most likely. The young Potter couple might not have any experience on what life was like in an orphanage, but they were not stupid and could easily guess.

"On the plus side," Dorea began a few minutes into the meal, "You'll be eating like this, actually better than this every day once you get to Hogwarts." Iris raised a brow at that but Tom looked slightly shocked, Charlus grinned at the boys reaction while nodding to his wife giving her a 'good going dear' wink.

"Quite right! The feasts are amazing, more food than you could possibly eat! Always wondered what happened to what wasn't finished actually, had to be quite a bit..."

"They keep it in stasis and use it where necessary throughout the term," Iris stated off handidly, her three companions gave her looks that had her blushing slightly as she glanced down at her meal. "I err...read it in Hogwarts: A History," well...Hermione had, but Harry's best friend had quoted the damn thing so many times he'd practically read it himself, Iris was sure.

"Ah, makes sense," Charlus stated with a shrug. After this the meal was finished in silence, after thanking Dorea for her efforts the kids said their goodbyes for the day, which included a hug and a peck to the cheek from Iris that caused Tom to blush, and soon the males were alone once again.

"Umm...what are we going to do next sir?" Charlus grinned evilly at that as he rubbed his hands together expectantly, this had Tom cock a brow in anticipation more than anything.

"Why lad I'm going to teach you the fine art of pranking of course! After that we'll have lunch where I'll teach you proper eating and utensil etiquette which is as boring as it sounds, but necessary."

"Pranking? Whatever would I need to know how to prank people for in polite society?"

Charlus placed his hand on his chest while letting out a dramatic gasp, "Be still my heart! What would you need to know how to prank for?" His grin now turned from evil to devilish, "Simply put my dear boy, planning a prank takes intelligence, wit, and skill. Pulling it off and not getting caught takes guile. Being there when it goes off and showing no reaction other than of horrified surprise as is to be expected will teach you how to keep a straight face in a trying situation. Most importantly though..." as he'd been talking Tom's eyes had grown wider as he leaned in absorbing everything, and as Charlus voice fell to a whisper the young boy looked fit to burst.

"Most importantly what Charlus?" He asked with bated breath.

Charlus smirked as he reached over and gripped Tom's shoulder, "Most importantly it teaches you to enjoy watching your enemies suffer, and them never finding out it was you who caused it."

Tom smirked in turn as he nodded, "I think I'll like these lessons," Charlus laughed and patted Tom gently on the head.

"Good, good! Now! First I'm going to have to teach you the bare bones basics on potion brewing, can't have a good prank without knowing the proper protocols after all. Now...where did I put my school trunk..."


Charlus just kinda kept writing himself, I sorta like him honestly. Please review!