Kim had kept herself busy, physically she had recovered completely her mental status hadn't been so lucky. She was seeing a therapist to work through her guilt over everything, not just Adam's shooting but everything that had led to their break up and the aftermath of it.
It was literally one bad decision after the next.
She had beaten herself up over those choices only for her therapist to chastise her a bit for it. Reminding her that she couldn't change the past, and harping on it wasn't good for her mental health. She needed to put it all behind her, so that was what she had done, or that was what she was trying to do.
The doctor suggested writing a letter to those who she felt wronged by and those she wronged. The letter wouldn't be mailed to its recipient, it was simply a way for her to release herself from the burden. It was exactly what she had done, the letter to Adam was long, over four pages in length and she poured her heart and soul into it.
The other was to Sean Roman, it wasn't nearly as long but she felt some of the weight slip off her shoulders and she put her feelings towards him on paper.
She was finally headed in the right direction and she only hoped Adam was on a similar path.
She had finally worked up the courage to visit him a few nights ago he'd been downgraded from the ICU but was still pretty out of it. He was half asleep when she showed up and Kim couldn't be sure if Adam even knew she was in the room.
Kim had only been there about ten minutes when Brenda showed up and asked her to leave. Brenda spoke of Adam needing rest and that he had no desire to visit with her.
Kim asked Brenda to let him know she stopped by and that she hoped he was feeling better soon and she took off before Brenda would see her tears. Kim doubted that Brenda would tell Adam, that she had visited but there was nothing she could do about it.
She didn't blame Brenda, had the roles been reversed there was no way in hell she'd tell his ex came to see him. The ex whose life he had saved, and the reason why he was in the hospital.
So she stayed in the shadows, calling Kevin or Jay for an update on Adam's condition.
She was thankful he was recovering, it was slow going but every day was better than the last. His mother had left a week or so ago, and she had heard that Bob was back at work, a good indicator that Adam was on the upswing.
Adam winced in pain as the nurse checked over the wound on his thigh, it was gnarly and it still made his stomach flip. He'd be receiving a skin graft in the morning, now that he was no longer battling pneumonia and the MRSA had been eradicated. He was dreading it but it meant he was one step closer to being discharged.
He had been shocked to learn just how sick he was, he had been far too close to death for his liking and it still was a bit surreal. When he woke up he was disoriented and in a lot of pain, he was a bit surprised to see his pops and Brenda sitting vigil at his bed.
He'd woken up a week and a half ago but the first few days were a blur, he'd been in and out of consciousness and it left him with time gaps. He still struggled a bit with it, his days were mixed up and he often felt lost during a conversation. The doctors told him it was normal, not only had he suffered serious injuries in the shooting he had contracted a serious infection and had been very sick. He was still on some heavy duty pain medications so it wasn't surprising to anyone that he was a bit confused.
Seeing his parents together had been strange but it didn't last long, once he had woken up and deemed out of the woods his mother was out of town in a blink of an eye.
He didn't care though, she was his mother in name only.
His dad never left his side when he first woke up, and it was all a bit much. He had never seen his pops cry, and he had bawled like a baby when Adam woke up.
"Looks good." The nurse told him as she changed the bandage, "You're good to go for the grafting."
"Yay!" Adam replied with a roll of his eyes, "I guess I should be happy, right? Can't get out of here until that's done."
"Correct," she smiled at him, "Doesn't make it easier though does it?" She tossed the used materials in the garbage, "Where's Brenda?"
"Work" Adam was already flipping through the channels, desperate for something to watch.
"She's a keeper that one. She's been so supportive."
"Yep."
Kim grabbed the last of the reports and headed upstairs, the repairs to the bullpen had been finished and things had returned to normal. Though, for Kim the bullpen would never be the same.
She was still having horrific flashbacks to that night, she'd be standing at the copier or in front of the white board and it would hit her like a freight train. She would zone out and it was as if she'd been transported back in time, the sights the sounds everything from that night would surround her.
She could still smell the blood as it poured from Adam's back, she could feel its stickiness as she rubbed fingertips together, she could hear his muffled groans as he lay on top of her. He didn't care that he had been shot and that he was bleeding profusely his only worry was protecting her.
Kevin was usually the first to notice she was lost in thought, he would gently touch her shoulder and whisper her name. She'd jump and her eyes would be wild, her heart racing.
It was awful.
She had been placed on desk duty, normally she'd argue that she was fine that she could do the work. She couldn't though, the first time she had gone out in the field had been a disaster. The sound of a car back firing had rocked her to the core, Al was with her and he saw it. He knew she wasn't ready, and Kim couldn't fight him on it.
She wasn't ready.
So she was left with the menial task of paperwork, chasing down witnesses and medical records. She was the gopher, and for now that was okay.
"Wake up Adam." Brenda gently nudged his shoulder, "how're you feeling?"
Adan rubbed his eyes, "Fine. What time is it?" He had a busy day of therapy and it always left him exhausted, it didn't take much to tucker him out.
"Just after seven. I brought dinner, I figured you'd want something other than mystery meat. I grabbed burgers." Brenda dished the food out and grabbed the sodas from the vending machine. "How was your day?"
"Same shit, different day" Adam doused his burger with ketchup, "You?"
"Busy. You know how it goes, my boss is on my ass over the stupidest shit. Clearly she doesn't get how stressed I am. I swear they're heartless." She looked over at his barely touched dinner, "You need to eat Adam, you can't eat past midnight. Surgery in the morning."
Adam watched as she continued to speak unaware of the fact that he was barely listening and really didn't care what she had to say. She was suffocating him, she spent her evenings at his bedside and called him a dozen times a day. She was constantly touching him, it made his skin crawl. She would even speak for him when his doctor was in the room, talking over him so she could be heard.
He was a total dick, he knew that. He hated that he felt this way about her, she had been by his side through all of it. No, he didn't ask her to do so, but he couldn't ask her to leave or treat her like shit. Not after all she had done for him.
So he sucked it up. He plastered a smile on his face and made the best of it.
"I know. It's a short one." Adam told her, "you should go to work, my pops will probably be here. I'm good."
Brenda waved her hand around dismissively, "Don't be stupid, Adam. Of course I will be here, I will see you before you go back and I will be here the moment you wake up. I've already taken the day off."
"Bren...you don't have to do that. You've missed a lot of work because of me." Adam hated that, hated being a burden. It didn't matter if it was Brenda or his dad.
Brenda tried her best to disguise the fact he had hurt her, "I've already done it. I know I don't have to do, I want to do it. Now, you need to eat. I don't want to talk about it anymore okay? I want to relax with you before you fall asleep and I don't want you to worry about a thing. Everything will be okay." She leaned over him and kissed him on the mouth, she felt his arms slip around her waist and pull her closer to him.
Adam pulled back, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a dick." He hated how he had treated her of late. He had vague memories of fighting with her before he had gone downhill and even now sometimes her mere presence made his skin crawl, and she had done nothing but support him.
She was by his side.
'Love the one you're with' suddenly held a lot of meaning for him, and he knew he needed to focus on his future and leave the past where it belonged.
Intelligence had been handed a human trafficking case, they had discovered multiple victims in a decrepit warehouse, all chained to the wall with little to no food or water. Their bodies showing significant signs of trauma, many of them were under the age of twenty-five a few spoke little English. Those that could speak English said very little, far too traumatized to form a coherent thought.
While most of the unit had gone out in the field, Kim had remained in the bullpen. She was currently working on finding the smallest connection to the victims they had. Hoping that there's was common denominator of some sort, something that would tie them all together in some fashion.
Perhaps they attended the same college or university, worked for the same business or even partied at the same places. It didn't have to be big, she just needed something.
Something to point them in the right direction.
They had successfully identified seven of the fifteen women, she had plastered the pictures on the board, she had created a file on each victim. She then went back and cross referenced their backgrounds, the only connection was they all had worked in retail, never the same store but always the same mall.
It was quite the possibly the break they needed.
She had already notified Voight and sent him everything she had, and she was on her way to the hospital to see if she could interview the victims a bit more in depth.
When they had previously interviewed them they didn't have a whole lot to go on, but now she knew what to ask.
They were close.
Brenda slipped the slipper socks on Adam's feet, "Stop whining." She huffed as he went on and on about them being too long, too hot, and too ugly. He had gone through surgery with flying colors and all looked well. They wanted Adam up and out of bed once he felt up to it. The quicker he was up and moving the quicker he could go home. He would have to return for physical therapy and wound care but if all went well he could go home in the morning.
"Those are ugly socks. Can't I wear mine?" Adam pointed to the black duffel bag on for chair, "they're in that bag, my shorts are too. I can wear them and shorts. The doctor said I could."
Brenda grabbed the shorts, "No. That's not what the doctor said. They said you could wear your shorts, but you need to wear those" she pointed to his feet, "they've got gripper things on the bottom, that ya you won't slip and fall."
"I won't slip and fall. I'm not a four year old." He growled in reply. "They're ugly as hell"
"You sure you're not four? Adam, you have to wear them. If you fall it will undo everything the doctors did in surgery this morning. It's not a fashion show Adam, no one cares about your socks."
"I do." Adam rolled his eyes, the hint of a smile filling his face.
Perhaps he could make this work.
As she pulled his shorts up over his hips he tugged on her hand pulling her down to meet his lips, "Thank you." He mumbled against her lips.
Kim couldn't ignore the nervousness she felt in her gut, she couldn't help but think of Adam as she entered the hospital. She knew he had his final surgery in the morning and had yet to hear how it had gone. Shit had jumped off so quickly that neither Kevin or Al had found time to call and check in.
She had resisted the urge to ask Maggie as she passed her on the way in, Kim knew Maggie would go on about HIPPA and how she couldn't talk about Adam's health status but she also knew that Maggie would've pulled up Adam's chart on the main computer and then be 'called' away.
She really wanted to know, but she knew she needed to put some distance between her and Adam. She had tried her hand at moving on and she had to respect Adam's decision to do the same. She had learned once she moved on from Adam that he was the one for her, she just had to hope that Adam would come to the same conclusion.
"Come on friend." Brenda held the IV pole as Adam slowly made his way through the unit, he had moved at a snail's pace and the discomfort was evident on his face.
"I'm going as fast as I can." He snapped, "I'm not sure you remember this but I had surgery this morning, you know. They literally cut skin off one part of my body and put it somewhere else. It fucking hurts."
"I know baby, I'm sorry." Brenda didn't miss the pained look that flashed across his face when she called him 'baby', she could only hope that with time it would go away. That he wouldn't tense up when she touched him, she hoped that one day she'd hear him utter the words she was so desperate to hear.
'I love you'.
Three simple words, three words she'd been chasing all her life.
Kim was multitasking as she walked, flipping through various notes and trying to formulate a list of questions for the victims. Out of everyone in intelligence she seemed to get the most from the victims. She was the least intimidating person of them all, not to say she couldn't be an intimidating force because she could. Interviewing victims was a different beast all together and her soft spoken nature and warm smile tended to get more done than the gruffness that was Voight, or the brashness of Halstead or Atwater. Olinsky oozed 'father' from his pores and that usually led to some solid information being disclosed, but when the vic was a young woman it was a bit trickier.
It was draining to listen to such horror stories, and it took a lot out of her. Al had often told her to not allow the case to overwhelm her or suck her in. That she couldn't allow her heart to be bogged down by the stories, if she did it would destroy her. So she did her best to keep her distance, but she knew it was important to feel something, that it would help her to solve a case. That these victims deserved that much, they needed to know she cared.
Her therapist had given her some coping mechanisms, and she had learned what worked for her, she knew she needed to clear her head in between interviews. She decided to take a walk, to shut off for a few minutes in between each one. She stopped near a bench and sat down. She quickly packed her things up and slung the bag over her shoulder and took a deep breath before walking away.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost walked right past them.
Adam's head snapped up, "Kim..hey.." he reached out for Brenda pulling her closer to him, "what's up?"
Kim tried to pull her eyes away from how close Brenda was to him, his hand on her hip, "Work. You okay?" Tears filled her eyes and she was furious with herself for becoming emotional. The last thing she wanted was for them to see her tears, "your surgery go okay?"
Adam nodded his head, "It did. Should get to home tomorrow."
Kim smiled, "That's good."
"It's great, I owe to this one." He turned and smiled at Brenda before quickly dropping a kiss on her lips, "She's an amazing nurse."
"You're too sweet." Brenda replied, "He's a horrible patient..but he's my patient." She was enjoying the look of discomfort on Kim's face, "I'm sure you know all about that though, don't you?"
Kim was taken aback by the entire exchange, she felt as if they were rubbing her nose in her own piss, "I should get going."
"We should get together, once Adam's feeling better. We can have dinner or something. You should bring a date. A double date! It'll be fun." Brenda reached out to touch Kim's arm.
"Sure." Kim stuttered, fun wasn't the word she'd use. In fact a root canal would be more fun than a double date with Adam and Brenda.
"Come on babe." Brenda smiled, she reached up for his face and pulled him into a deep and fiery kiss.
Kim was rooted in place, watching the man she loved as he kissed another woman, it was like a horrific traffic accident. An accident you knew you shouldn't look at because it would haunt you for ages but yet you couldn't look away.
