Chapter 9: The Norwegian Newcomer

The students sleepily and slowly come out of their cabins for breakfast. Pamela Feynman makes them all stand for the pledge of allegiance before they can eat.

Amy pulls her lips away from Sheldon when she hears the Star Spangled Banner music playing outside over the loud speakers. Amy reopens the closet door then she smiles at Sheldon and holds out her hand for him to take hold of.

Amy: "Well, we better get out there."

Sheldon shakes his head still light headed from kissing. He is far too anxious to come out and deal with all those annoying kids again, especially right after his first real make out session.

Sheldon: "Forget it! I'm not going back out there with those heathens!"

Amy: "Come on, we both agreed to do this. It's our job."

He continues to shake his head at her unwilling to budge on the matter.

Sheldon: "No, my job is solving quantum physics equations while studying unified string theory within the early universe. Trying to teach those kids is a waste of my time and precious mental faculties. You go on ahead without me."

Amy sighs then frowns at him. She stomps her foot loudly on the creaky wooden floor.

Amy: "Sheldon Cooper, if you don't get out of that closet right now I'm going to give you a spanking!"

Sheldon gasps in horror at her threat then he quickly exits the closet. He pouts his lip out and folds his arms together in front of his chest like a whiny toddler.

Sheldon: "You wouldn't dare!?"

Amy: "Don't test me Sheldon! I will spank you and I'll like it."

She almost wants to continue with "and so will you", but she restrains herself. Amy grins lecherously as she takes a few steps closer to him and cracks her knuckles loudly as if preparing for a smack down.

He gasps at her again then Sheldon pouts even more. He doesn't understand that she is just trying to be playful with him at the moment. Instead he takes her words as a serious threat upon his physical well being.

Sheldon: "Why are you being so mean to me? You know I don't like these people."

She sighs once more then Amy moves closer.

Amy: "I'm not trying to be mean. But, we owe it to those kids to teach them about science. Just because you don't like teaching doesn't mean they won't like learning from us. Give them a chance already."

Sheldon: "But….but, I don't wanna." He replies in a childish voice.

Amy: "Do it for me please baby."

She takes one more step leans in and gives him one last juicy kiss. Sheldon feels his entire body tingle with delight. He has never heard her call him "baby" before and a part of him wants to protest it while the rest of him just wants more of her.

He slowly lets his arms fall down by his sides so she can press her vixen body up against his just like when they were in the closet making out. Amy reaches behind him and deliberately squeezes his small firm buttocks. Sheldon backs away immediately terrified she is about to start hitting him like she said she would. He walks towards the door to open it for her.

Sheldon: "If I agree to do this will you at least help me get my stuff back from those little monsters? I need my batman belt. Please Amy!"

Amy stares at Sheldon's childish begging face. She can't resist it so she nods in agreement when he looks at her with his patented bittersweet, seemingly innocent baby face.

Amy: "Okay, I'll figure out what happened to your things. Just try to be nice today okay. The kids aren't all bad."

With that last statement Amy walks through the doorway as she does so she takes Sheldon's hand to pull him along with her. They walk together hand in hand out towards the picnic tables to eat. After breakfast is over Amy gathers together their ten students for their first lesson of the day. Sheldon makes them stand in a horizontal line then he repeats several of his rules and expectations as he paces back and forth like an Army commander ready to instruct his troops.

Sheldon: "Raise your hand if you have a question. No gum chewing! No touching me or any one else for that matter, but definitely not me. Keep your sticky germy hands to yourselves. Don't eyeball me! Take lots of notes. Don't look any birds in the eye, they hate that. No running! No jumping! Don't ask me stupid questions. Always remember that even if you think I am wrong I have an IQ of one hundred eighty seven so that makes me much smarter than any of you. It also makes me right. Be polite to your fellow group members. No rolling your eyes! No talking to one another! No daydreaming unless it involves Einstein's cosmological constant. Make sure to finish all your homework. No late homework will be accepted, no exceptions! No bladder voiding unless it's an emergency. No passing notes during our lectures. And absolutely no cheating on the quizzes! If you cheat you fail! Now are there any questions before we begin?"

Donovan Anderson raises his hand immediately after hearing Sheldon finally finishes talking. Sheldon stares at him.

Sheldon: "Yes."

Donovan: "Do we really have to take another quiz today?"

Sheldon scoffs and snorts in derision at the poor boy.

Sheldon: "Well how else are you going to be ready for Sunday's final exam?"

The boy frowns in shock when he hears this news.

Donovan: "There's going to be a final exam too?"

Sheldon: "Yes, of course! But, I kept all of my exam questions at a high school reading level and there are only 250 questions, which is the lowest amount I've ever given on a test so you're welcome. Now be quiet!"

Donovan sighs sadly while most of the other students glare at Sheldon. Like him they wish they had never come on this trip. Only one young man in the group seems excited about being here. Anton Larsis a foreign exchange student from Norway. He is the only one who actually enjoyed listening to Amy's serial killer campfire tale because it took place in his home country. He also thinks Amy is quite the vixen and she reminds him of the sexy scientist tutor back in Norway that he lost his virginity too. Anton stares at her hoping for an opportunity to make his move on his new hot teacher.

Amy: "Sheldon why don't we take everyone on a nature walk? Then we can point out the various animal species, flora, and fauna surrounding us."

She points towards a walking trail leading away from the campsite that many of the other groups are taking, but Sheldon immediately doesn't like the looks of it.

Sheldon: "No. Going into the woods is far too dangerous. I suggest we stay here and start from the beginning with physics. These kids obviously have had a very inadequate education thus far. It's time they learn the real facts about life."

Amy: "Okay, go ahead and start."

Amy instructs all of the students to take their seats on two of the picnic tables nearby. The students sit down and open their notebooks. Sheldon grins as he looks up at the pretty blue sky above them. He raises his hand up in the air dramatically as he begins his physics lecture

Sheldon: "It was a warm summer's eve in Ancient Greece…."

Amy already knows where he is going with this because she has heard his physics lecture before. She immediately interrupts him knowing it will be too much for the children to understand.

Amy: "Sheldon, these students are not ephebic enough for your advanced albeit fascinating wealth of knowledge. They want to have fun! You know like our Fun with Flags podcasts."

Sheldon thinks about her idea for a moment the he nods at her.

Sheldon: "Alright, I yield the floor to you and Ferdinand T. Flag."

He steps aside to let Amy do her Ferdinand T. Flag voice that they both believe will make it easier for these ignorant students to understand science better. However, the students hate the voice immediately. Ferdinand T. Flag sounds like a Sesame Street Muppets character to them and incredibly lame one at that. But, Amy continues on undeterred by the students' eye rolling and booing. Sheldon wishes he still had his tear gas to shut them up.

Amy: "Listen up boys and girls! Today we're going to learn about a wonderful scientific word called physika!"

Sheldon smiles at her delighted by her charming ability to remind him of his childhood with her funny flag voice. He follows her lead.

Sheldon: "Yes, physika is the original Greek word for physics."

Amy: "That's right boys and girls!"

Amy grins at them and waves a tiny white flag with a black smiley face on it.

Sheldon: "And do any of you know what the word physics means?"

Several of the students put their heads down on the desk to ignore them, but Anton raises his hand up and squirms excitedly in his chair for the chance to prove himself.

Sheldon: "What do you have to use the bathroom or something?"

Anton: "No, I want to answer the question."

Sheldon: "Oh really? Okay great, I could use a good laugh."

Anton: "Physics is the science of natural things."

Sheldon's eyes widen in shock that this young man actually gave the correct answer. Anton's fellow students also look at him surprised.

Sheldon: "That was uh…correct. What is your name young man?"

Anton: "My name is Anton Lars."

Amy smiles excited that he got it right. She quickly walks over to the boy.

Amy: "Hold out your hand Anton."

He looks at her nervously wondering why she wants to see his hand, but after a few moments he finally puts his hand out on the picnic table. Amy puts a cute little flag sticker on his hand and grins. He looks down at the sticker confused by why she is giving him one, but her smile makes him happy so he smiles back.

Anton: "Um... thank you Miss. Fowler."

Amy: "Its scratch and sniff! Smells just like strawberries! And it's Dr. Fowler."

He smells the sticker than he smiles at her.

Anton: "It smells lovely, and I must say you do as well…Dr. Fowler."

Amy shyly blushes at the boy's sweet remark. But, Sheldon decides to test Anton's knowledge of science further.

Sheldon: "Tell me Anton, have you ever heard of string theory?"

Anton: "Of course I have. String theory postulates that electrons and quarks within in an atom are not merely zero-dimensional objects, but are one-dimensional oscillating lines or strings if you prefer. Would you like me to also explain the differences between bosonic, heterotic and simplified string theory?"

Amy grins in delight at his very intelligent answer. She places two more flag stickers on his hand.

Amy: "That was very good! Also, if you get up to twenty-five stickers in a row you'll get a flag pencil and a notepad."

Anton: "Really, so how many stickers do I need to get your phone number?"