Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter!

The Funeral

Time stopped.

And then there was silence.

James was staring determinedly at the floor now and Remus was pretending to be busy fixing his shirt but Sirius knew that he was just unbuttoning it and buttoning it again. Peter sat looking extremely uncomfortable, eyes flicking back and forth from the three boys at to figure out what to do now.

Truth be told Sirius didn't know what to do. It seemed that it had been that way for a while now.

"It-It's her funeral?" He asked hoarsely.

James was still burning a hole in the carpet and Remus was just turning the button over and over again.

"Yes."

"Oh." He said softly.

James's head snapped up to look at him with confusion, probably wondering why Sirius wasn't going mad or crying. But that was the thing, Sirius felt so much he couldn't handle it, he couldn't even express himself. He was devoid of emotion.

Wordlessly Sirius stood up, grabbed the robes and left to go the bathroom, he locked the door behind him and leaned on the sink for support. He glanced at the mirror and caught sight of himself. Dark circles, red eyes, hollow face, bruised cheek and messed up hair. Well he definitely looked like he was mourning.

He took his time getting ready: slowly pulling the robes over his head, delicately combing his hair and polishing his shoes painfully thoroughly, in fact he was so slow that by the time Sirius had been in the bathroom for over 30 minutes James started to bang on the door demanding he get out.

He came out and was greeted with the sight of three very sombre looking teenagers waiting for him. James clapped him on the back.

"Come on," he said gently, "the girls are waiting for us."

Remus and James began to usher him to the door but Sirius stopped in his tracks. "I can't do this."

Remus's mouth fell open and James's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "What do you mean 'you can't do this'?" demanded James angrily.

"Sirius right now is hardly the time to back out." Said Remus nervously.

Peter watched the exchange with anxiety, biting his nails and twitching violently every few seconds.

"What if they think I killed her?" asked Sirius miserably.

James growled. "Is your name Regulus?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Then they won't think that you killed her, now can we please go before-"

"I may not have actually killed her but I am indirectly responsible." spat Sirius venomously.

"How so?" asked Remus crossing his arms against his chest.

Sirius sat down on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands. When he spoke again it sounded muffled and like he was desperately trying not to cry.

"She told me what was going on. She asked for my help, when I told her I wouldn't do it… she just went on her own. If I had just gone with her, if I had listened to her then maybe…" He broke off, unable to say anymore.

The three other boys sat next to him.

"You have to stop beating yourself up about that. It wasn't your fault…" said Remus softly. "Please Padfoot, let's go now."

Sirius nodded expressionlessly and got up. The four of them left the room, not like the carefree 16 year olds who entered at the beginning of the year, but like the men out in the world, who had seen death.

Lily, Marlene, Emmeline and Alice were all sniffing into small handkerchiefs and wearing long, modest black dresses. The girls looked up as soon as they heard the sound of shoes on stone, Lily rushed to James and gave him a bone-crushing hug. James patted Lily's back reassuringly and gently pried her off.

"Now I expect excellent behaviour from all of you." came Professor McGonagall's voice. She was wearing dark robes and her hair was pulled up into its usual tight bun. Her eyes lingered on Sirius when she said the behaving part and he had to control the urge to scowl. "None of you will do anything to embarrass Hogwarts at this most solemn and unfortunate occasion."

The children nodded hurriedly and McGonagall surveyed them with a critical eye. She raised her eyes when she saw Sirius's face but chose to say nothing. "It seems you are ready."

She led the way to the Headmaster's office and entered the room. Professor Dumbledore was looking out the window, his back facing the children. There was a look of infinite sadness imprinted upon his face that rivalled even Sirius's. He faced them with a sad smile.

"It seems," he said slowly, noticing the mass of people in his office, "Miss Vandor was not friendless when she left us."

Sirius stiffened and someone let out a small wail that was quickly quieted.

He beckoned to the fireplace. "It's ready." He doled out Floo powder to everyone and they lined up behind Professor McGonagall.

She clutched the powder in her hand and walked to the fire confidently.

"Lyle Graves." She said clearly, threw the powder in and then climbed into the fireplace. They repeated this until it was only Sirius, James and Dumbledore (who wasn't coming) left in the office.

James shot Sirius one more reassuring glance and disappeared into the flames.

Sirius felt an arm on his shoulder and he looked up to find Dumbledore's staring at him intently.

"Sirius," he said gravely, "you have endured more in one month than other boys your age have endured in all their years."

Sirius nodded, unsure where this conversation was going.

Dumbledore sighed heavily and sat down, finally he said, "It's okay to miss her Sirius. But don't try to bring her back."

Sirius turned sharply. "What do you mean 'bring her back'?"

Dumbledore beckoned him closer and Sirius sat down. "I mean that necklace. You're trying to keep her alive."

This was all said in figurative language and Sirius tried desperately to remain impassive but the guilt was most certainly painted all over his face.

Well it's all over now. He thought bitterly. Get ready to go to St. Mungo's. You won't even be able to attend the funeral.

Dumbledore placed his elbows on his desk and looked at Sirius over his half moon spectacles. "It is completely understandable. But I ask only one thing of you, when the time comes, when you're ready, you will let go."

Sirius relaxed instantaneously, thankful that he wouldn't have to give up the amortentia considering that it was the only thing keeping him going these days. "Yeah sure Professor." He said hurriedly getting up. "Now I think I should probably-"

"Give me your word Sirius." Professor Dumbledore implored.

Sirius took a deep breath. "I give you my word Professor." And then without waiting for permission Sirius half shouted "Lyle Graves" and dove into the fire.

"Merlin Padfoot, if we're late because of you…" James threatened as they climbed a steep hill.

"I told you Professor Dumbledore held me back." Sirius interrupted annoyed.

Remus sighed in exasperation. "This is not the time to be bickering, we're almost there."

They reached the top of the hill and Sirius sucked in his breath.

There, nestled at the bottom was a graveyard, which was currently crowded with weepy females and solemn males. There was a dark wooden coffin that lay next to a new looking headstone. Sirius could barely make out the engraving but he had a feeling it mentioned Grace.

"Alright, come on." Murmured Professor McGonagall out of the corner of her mouth. She walked down the hill and stopped near a woman that Sirius recognized quite well. Gemini Vandor. Her blonde hair was limp and just in general emitted an aura of misery.

"Mrs. Vandor?" inquired Professor McGonagall gently.

The woman looked up, hastily wiping tears from her eyes. "Yes, please, call me Gemini."

"I am Minerva McGonagall, I was one of Grace's teachers."

"Oh, well thank you for coming." She turned to the teens and surprisingly smiled when she saw Sirius. "These must be Grace's friends from school."

"Yes, they insisted on coming. Grace was dear to all of us at Hogwarts. I am very sorry for your loss."

Gemini nodded sadly. "Please sit down, the ceremony is about to start."

They found seats near the front and Sirius had a clear view of the coffin. He found it strange that girl he loved was resting there, sleeping almost. Against all of his better judgement Sirius hoped that maybe Grace would climb out, that she would come back. That everything that had happened had just been a misunderstanding and now it was over.

Now they would be together.

Like they had always meant to be.

But nothing of the sort happened, the ceremony commenced, eulogies read and coffin buried but she didn't climb out. She didn't come back.

And honestly, that was worse than accepting that she was dead.

After everything was over they got up, getting ready to leave. They expressed their condolences once more to both Mr. and Mrs. Vandor who was crying freely now. As Sirius passed Mr. Vandor he felt the elder man's penetrating gaze following him.

"Professor." Said a sharp voice behind them.

Professor McGonagall turned, slightly bewildered. "Yes, Mr. Vandor?"

"I would be honoured if you and your students would stay for tea."

He could practically hear McGonagall's brain whirring beside him, debating whether she should stay or if they should go. Finally she gave the Vandors a hesitant smile.

"Well, it is Saturday… so I suppose it can't hurt."

"Wonderful."

AN: Thank you to the lovely reviewers MilliePrue- BellatrixLestrange, slytherinpride96 and Natsumi-Reiko for reviewing! I don't mean to sound whiny or ungrateful but I've noticed that there's been a decrease in reviews and I was just wondering if it's a problem with the story or if you guys are just uber busy. If it is because of the story I'd love it if you would just tell me what I can do to make it better. As always reviews are greatly appreciated.