Author's Note:Mario is owned by Nintendo.
Chapter 8
*SLURP* *SLURP* *SLURP*
Spicy noodles.
Anything tastes good during a war.
Luke walks in the room wiping off his hands with a towel.
"Okay, Mario. The kart is refueled and the blue shell you asked for is in the back. You can use that cell phone of yours to fire it at anytime while you're out of the car."
"Thanks Luke. Hey, tell me! Do you really think the Mushroom Kingdom will even NEED plumbers, or even, in your case, marketing people, after this war is over?"
"Well…" Said Luke. " I'm not an expert in history or anything like that, economic surges tend to be showcased during… times of war. In the United States, there was this Great Depression and… well, I don't really know ALL the details. I'm from Australia."
"Okay, what about the Black Plague? I think because of all the deaths, people ended up getting paid more and prices fell."
"That's what I was thinking too."
Luke shrugs his shoulders.
"They may need us to do other things. Who knows? Maybe we'll like the jobs we'll have in the future better than the jobs we have now."
Mario sits back and meditates on those words for a bit.
Maybe that's what Madame Clairvoya meant when she said 'a prison of his own making.'
Exactly what job in the future could possibly 'imprison' him?
Cooking? Painting? Writing? Pottery?
Definitely not pottery.
Mario can't write for shit either.
"Also… Mario. I've been meaning to ask."
Mario snaps out of his train of thought.
"Hmm?"
"You also asked for a fire flower and feather. Why do you really need those when you already learned to summon the fire and cape without them? And the sledgehammer. Won't that slow you down?"
Mario stands up and snags the three items on the dresser.
"You know how much I hate spoiling surprises. You know, on an unrelated note. For staying here during all this… you deserve a raise.
If I could afford it."
"I was born the son… of a lawless man.
Always spoke my mind, with a gun in my hand.
Lived nine lives. Gunned down ten.
Gonna ride like the wind."
Driving back to the castle, Mario is singing along.
While he was lost in the lyrics, however, his phone rings.
"Her eyes. Her eyes.
Make the stars look like they're not shining.
Her hair. Her hair.
Falls perfectly without her trying."
"SHIT! That's Peach's ringtone!"
Slamming his foot on the brake, he picks up the phone.
Luigi lets out a long sigh.
"I don't know if you can hear me or not.
Hell, a part of me wishes you couldn't and I just need to get this off my chest.
You didn't CHOOSE to be a ghost. You probably didn't choose to be a leader either.
I can only imagine how horrible it was.
Waking up not remembering who you are. No hope for the future. Hurt. Alone. Scared.
Well, with me here with you right now. You don't have to be scared.
I will set you free."
*RUMBLE* *RUMBLE*
"What the fuck was that?"
The walls of the castle are shaking.
Fearing the worst, Luigi runs out of the room,
Leaving the portrait of King Boo behind.
"Peasley. Peasley. Listen to me. PEASLEY!
Don't even THINK about sending your troops over here!
Last thing we need is a 'Bean Rebellion!'"
Suddenly, Mario notices a chopper at a distance going straight for Peach's castle.
"FUCK!"
Using the feather power up, Mario floats to the roof of Peach's castle where Toadarius is waiting for him.
"Toadscott, Toadspence, and Toadaniel. Hmm. I guess I should say thank you for bringing them here and keeping them alive.
You know, Mario. I'll admit. I have SEVERELY underestimated your potential in this war."
"What the fuck did you EXPECT!? You actually winning!? I still have a few good years left in me! CHECK THIS SHIT OUT!"
Mario takes out his fire flower and waves his cape up and down in the air. He absorbs the flower, suddenly turning his cape from golden yellow to scarlet red.
Reaching into the magic satchel, he gets out his hammer and ignites it with the fire cape.
Toadarius just stands there. Amazed.
"Whoa. That's… something else."
"Do you remember the story about Bowser forcing Luigi and I to travel the entire world in less than 80 days or else he'll carpet bomb the Mushroom Kingdom?"
"That story was written over a DECADE ago! I don't remember shit about it!"
"The whole journey took me 79 days, and during that time, Bowser was preparing for a fight!
He knocked Luigi unconscious and nearly killed me!
But just at the moment when I accepted my death, Luigi's spirit counseled me. He told me that since my items couldn't work against Bowser when they were used separately, they may work when I use them TOGETHER!"
Mario points to himself.
"THIS! THIS RIGHT HERE! Is a real life version inspired by the story.
I call this… PYROMANIAC MARIO!"
Toadarius nods.
"Hmm. Cool name. I'll admit, it's even better than Toadarius. Took me hours to come up with that one. But I assure you, even with that hot new form of yours, you won't beat me!"
Toadarius reaches for the spear he carries on his back and holds it up in the air.
Suddenly, it starts illuminating all the colors of the rainbow.
Just like an invincibility star!
"Nine months ago, when Bowser took Princess Peach to the Moon, I had this crazy idea to get up there and save her myself.
It turns out that the transport systems that you guys used to get to all the Rainbow Roads are still operational. You didn't need to collect all those moons."
Mario winces. He still enjoyed his time with Cappy.
"Instead of finding that cathedral, however, I found the star.
THIS! Is the Star Spear! Lazy name, I know. But sometimes…
Simple works best."
Mario steps back. An invincibility star? Those are extremely rare in the Mushroom Kingdom. Who knew that they were on the Moon too?
"So a star on the Moon grants you invincibility to a WEAPON!?"
"Yes… as long as I don't let go, I can use the invincibility indefinitely!"
Mario then realizes something; only one of them is going to get off the roof of this castle.
He jumps up in the air swinging down his fire hammer.
Only for it to get blocked by the spear, which Toadarius holds with both hands.
"You're also smarter than you look."
Mario backs off while Toadarius tries to jab him with his spear.
Since Mario has a fire flower power up, he knows his fireballs are twice as strong as before.
Despite how many he throws, however, Toadarius dodges each one.
Toadarius then does a leg sweep. Throwing Mario off his balance and hitting the ground.
Taking the non pointed end of his spear, he slams it into Mario's chest, taking away all his power ups.
Mario coughs up blood. This is nothing like all the times he fought Bowser. Even when he was in space. This may be the most desperate Mario has ever been in his life. He's going to die and it's going to be at the hands of a Toad with a power fantasy.
"You know, Mario. Since we were talking about stories. There is this one cliche that really bugs me. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about."
Mario looks up at Toadarius. What is he talking about?
"Whenever somebody dies, they can always be revived by some weird, magic, green mushroom. Some of the people actually deluded themselves into thinking that this '1-up' mushroom is real. But I guess I knocked some sense into their heads."
Toadarius then lifts Mario on his feet so that he could see the road leading up to the castle.
"Witness…"
Mario gasps. Around 60 rebels are charging at the front doors.
"My assault!"
