The Last Beginning - Part 9
22 Cassus, 9:31
Yesterday's feast was naturally lovely, as most royal affairs tend to be. Elissa was radiant, and most amusingly Alistair spent the evening jumping between bursts of husbandly pride and icy protective glares. The scandal I mentioned in my last writings will continue to haunt us however, though I can't help but hope that for once some good will come out of this unrest. During the festivities, Alistair officially announced that he would be appointing the local elven elder, a man by the name of Valendrian, as the elven consul to the crown. The icy silence and suspicious glares that filled the room after the announcement were perfectly shameful, if sadly expected. All the outrage over this seems particularly ridiculous from the point of view of a mage, for we in the Tower have long since learned to overcome such short-sighted prejudices. Perhaps it is easier for us however, since overall mages see themselves as having very little to lose. Those in positions of power rarely take kindly to that power being taken away from them, especially in the name of justice and freedom. Even necessary change is still change, and thus is not absolved from the pains and torments it often brings.
25 Cassus, 9:31
Some of us are fortunate and live long enough to see the world grow and change around us. Some of us however are destined to pay a higher price for change than others.
Arl Vaughan Kendall has been taken into custody, charged with the murder of the elf Valendrian. Hard facts are few and far between at the moment, but word is that the arl has all but admitted to the crime. I do not think he truly believes that killing an elf constitutes murder. The reaction of the Antivan to Elissa's discussion of the matter with him solidified my thoughts on the matter. He is to stand trial as soon as more evidence can be produced and witnesses procured.
I have tried to convince Elissa to step back from this situation, but she will have none of it. She feels personally responsible for the elven elder's death. Since ascending to the throne, the truth about Arl Vaughan's character and past actions have come to light. Elissa tells me that it was by her hand that the man was released from imprisonment after Vaughan was found by the Wardens locked in a prison cell in his own estate. His connection to the riots in the Alienage as well as his distain for the elves themselves was unknown to her. What was clear was that he would have a say in the Landsmeet which was eminently looming, and that he appeared to be another victim of Arl Howe's treachery. Such a factor weighed heavily in her decision, given all that she herself had lost to the man. The facts which present themselves to us however are not always the ones that lead us down the right paths.
27 Cassus, 9:31
Elissa persists in refusing to listen to me when I ask that she limits her involvement Arl Vaughan's trial. She believes that bringing justice to Vaughan will be another step toward elven equality. A noble cause, certainly, but the timing of this fiasco is quite poor. I feel I must bring my concerns to the king. Even if she cannot be swayed a swift trial may be in everyone's best interest. It's becoming clearer that he and I will need to start protecting Elissa from her own self-righteousness, if only for the next few months.
30 Cassus, 9:31
Thankfully, it appears that we will not need to resort to keeping Elissa locked her chambers under guard. I'm not sure what Alistair said to her, but she has agreed to start stepping back from court life and relax more. Thank the Maker for small blessings.
Elissa does seem healthy overall, if more than a bit ill-humored. We learned some welcome news with regard to the next generation of Theirins, but I will refrain from mentioning it here out of respect to the royal couple's privacy. It seems the strangest thing to know about before a child is actually born, and almost sad in a way. One of the greatest mysteries of new life demystified by magic. There is some kind of strange justice there, but I am not wholly comfortable with it. Naturally, I had made a similar discovery all those years ago when I was in Elissa's shoes… and it felt the same then. As if by using magic to watch over an unborn child, some of the inherent magic of the whole experience evaporated. But there is truly no harm either way, so perhaps I am just being old fashioned. It is the fate of the venerable to be seen this way, so I suppose I should embrace it.
1 Verimensis, 9:32
A new year is upon us. I have often wondered if I would live to see another, and yet here it is. Surrounded by all these young people, it is sometimes hard to watch them squander their time away, secure in the fact that they believe they will live forever. Elissa and Alistair understand more than most of them, but even they are not so far gone to the taint of the Wardens to truly feel each day as being a gift from the Maker. Certainly, I have my duties, both to the official face of the crown and the unofficial faces behind it, but I try to take some time each day to relax, or read something that warms my tired heart, or just to spend time with Irving. As I have said before, the length of a moment in time does not diminish its worthiness.
Speaking of the young, one factor in all this that I have been neglectful of mentioning is Petra's role in our endeavor. I do not doubt that without her exuberance and dedication, we would not have seen things go as smoothly as they have. Never a complaint, always willing to do what is needed of her, even through all the long nights' vigils. She has been at my side whenever I have used my healer's gifts on Elissa, asking questions and offering her own insight, which is remarkably astute for one so young. She has also taken a keen interest in what knowledge Sabina has had to offer her as well. It was she who first realized that an unborn child's heart rate could be monitored in a similar way as we do for anyone else; by feeling the pulse rate of their blood coursing through their veins. Healer's Sight is a bit of a misnomer, as I have stated, for it's more of a sensation of touch than one of vision. The beating of a patient's heart is oftentimes one of the sensations that a healer needs to learn to tune out in order to focus on a deeper issue. One could describe it as being similar to ignoring the sound of a barking dog that is distracting from a person's conversation with another. Since we currently have no other notes or information to compare with, Petra has been keeping extensive records of the children's pulse rates as the days go by. We figure so long as there are no significant drops or spikes in the numbers we are observing, we can determine a normal range and be aware of any readings that fall too far out of line.
More that any other factor, it has been Petra's spirit that has kept us all going this past year. Aside from her own natural talents in the healing magics, she seems have an honest interest in the more mundane and medical side of childbearing. Were she not have been born a mage, I could envision her as one of Sabina's apprentices. Interest coupled with aptitude is a powerful force, and not all of us are fortunate enough to see these two things come together in our lives. She is a very fortunate girl, and I am fortunate for having gotten to know her.
5 Verimensis, 9:32
Arl Vaughan Kendell has been found guilty of the crime of killing the elven elder Valendrian. He has been sentenced to public execution five days hence. The intent is to make an example of his deeds, and to send a message that the mistreatment of elves will not be tolerated. While I understand this academically, I have a hard time condoning any kind of public slaughter. While I have the utmost respect for anyone willing to take up the roll of First Enchanter, one of the main reasons I never wished to take the position was because I honestly don't believe I could handle supervising the Harrowings. But I suppose the less said about that the better. Death may very well be a part of life, but taking away the life of another should never be done lightly.
A bright spot to come out of this whole ordeal is that we now have a new peer to welcome to the ranks of the Bannorn. The woman chosen to take Valendrian's place amongst the elves of Denerim has been granted the title of bann, and given the role of governing and representing the Alienage as well as all elves living in Denerim. She is a surprisingly young woman for one who bears the title of elder, but my understanding is that the term is more of an honorific than a reflection of age. Her name is Shianni, and I remember meeting her briefly during the siege of Denerim. She has a sharp tongue and often speaks before thinking, but I cannot help but believe that she will be a strong advocate for her people.
10 Verimensis, 9:32
The Arl of Denerim has been executed. May the Maker judge him fairly and see him to his atonement.
The whole affair reminded me far too strongly of the Landsmeet where Alistair was declared King of Ferelden. The king himself wielded the executioner's axe, a decision which Alistair defends with his typical righteous tenacity. I do find it hard to fault a man for being strong in his convictions, especially when as in this case they are not wholly unfounded in reason and honor. The king feels that if a person possesses the ability to call for the death of another person, there is honor is seeing the deed done personally by ones own hand. While his reasoning may be strong, I do still worry that his actions will give the wrong impression to the common folk. Tales of such events do tend to grow and change with the telling, and the last thing that a good man such as Alistair needs is the reputation for being a tyrant.
24 Verimensis, 9:32
Even we old folks can sometimes be stunned by the blessings we receive in this life. Elissa has agreed to only attend court functions in an early afternoon window, and by the Maker's blessing it didn't take an entire contingent of guardsmen to "convince" her to this arrangement. For her to give in so willingly means to me that she tires much more easily than she lets on. Either that or her expanding midsection finally reached the point where she could no longer ignore it out of shear force of will. I shudder to think how long this realization would have taken were she only blessed with one child, given that she is now probably close to as large as she would probably have gotten if not for her unique circumstance. I will note of course that this is a clinical observation, for I would never commit to writing any derogatory statements about the size of our queen's midsection.
I have taken to attending to the taint shield while she attends court, so that I am free in the mornings to attend to my own duties in that arena. Alistair and I have had many promising discussions with regard to the future of Ferelden's Circle and its mages, but we both agree that too much change too quickly will only turn the Bannorn against us all the more rapidly. For all of the harsh realities a mage of the Circle has to live with, our plight pales in comparison to that of the elves. In the Tower we are warm, get regular meals, and have healers at our beck and call. Never mind the fact that we do not have to contend with streets full of sewage and vermin. It seems a disservice to address the needs of a few who can take their basic needs for granted while an entire race of people is forced to live in squalor as second class citizens.
2 Pluitanis, 9:32
It has been a trying week. We have begun the search for a pair of royal wet nurses, after much hand wringing and several difficult conversations. Erring on the side of caution, we are presuming that the taint could be transferred from mother to child by ingesting her breast milk. Following this presumption, it would be impractical at best for us to continue our taint wards for another year or more when a much more practical option is available. I also do not believe that the shield spell would work as effectively on the breast as it does for the womb. A woman's breasts are full of many small nodes and ducts that produce and hold milk, as opposed to womb which is one large vaguely round muscle. Building a shield, any shield, around a definitive border is vastly easier than one around a nebulous one. I suppose it could technically be possible, but by the Maker, we simply cannot keep this constant vigil for that long. Between the four of us we are managing well enough, but keeping up these wards for another year, possibly longer? I see our current role in the process as necessary, both for the safety of the twins as well as the future of Ferelden. But allowing Elissa to breastfeed the infants is just not as vital. A wet nurse's service will have to suffice. She is not happy with me for making this decision, and some part of me wishes we were more capable or had a different option. I do feel justified in my position, as much as it pains me. Leborah and Petra should return to their studies at the Tower, and Irving and I have already given our all to this venture. So long as the heirs to the Theirin line are born taint-fee, we have done that which we originally committed to. Someone else will need to step up for the next stage of this venture. There are times when a person, even a mage, should only push themselves so far.
11 Pluitanis, 9:32
Elissa has been spending a lot of time with Sabina, and though she is perhaps still distant with me at times I think that she has come to accept my decision with regard to hiring wet nurses. We have found one so far, a woman formerly in the employ of Arl Eamon named Millicent. She and her infant daughter have been granted a room near the royal apartments, and Sabina has been making a point to include the woman in her conversations with the queen. As much as I know Elissa has made it a priority to fulfill her duty and provide an heir to the throne, at the same time I get the impression that she is not wholly comfortable around babies. If I'm correct in that assessment, I'm sure she's had much more in-depth conversations with Sabina about her concerns and fears. I personally have not been privy to many of these conversations; they seem to happen more often than not when Petra is fulfilling her taint shield shift.
I know that Elissa still trusts me and my healing skills, but as we get closer to the end of this it makes sense that she has questions that fall outside my realm of expertise. I know too that the specter of Arlessa Kaitlyn still haunts her. Perhaps the midwife's words are what she needs to hear right now, not those of an unsure mage who cannot be wholly confident that her skills will not fail her yet again. But all of us involved must carry on, preparing as best we can with the future before it becomes the present.
