Chapter 9
My hands were shaking uncontrollably in irritation. My eyes were narrowed, staring at nothing. I was completely furious. How could he? How can he do that to me? I had worked so hard on this wedding and he goes around ruining it? Destroying my plans, what I wanted and how I wanted it all?
This man in front of me, a victim for my anger, had destroyed my plans completely. He'd gotten the wrong flowers, and my wedding was just a week away. I took a deep breath, I couldn't show him I was this furious about it. As a soon to be fire lady I was supposed to have inner calm, and be mature about things. Even though I felt like giving him a slap and yell at him, I couldn't do that. I was an adult, and as an adult, I couldn't throw around with words however I wanted. There would be no other excuse for my behavior, except for that it's my personality.
"Excuse me, but those are most certainly not the flowers I asked for." I said, my voice having a soft tone, even though my insides were shaking in anger. The man frowns in confusion and looked down at all the flowers he'd gotten me.
"You didn't ask for white roses?"
"No, fire lilies." I said, and smiled. "How can you get fire lilies to white roses?"
With that, I gave away a nervous laugh. And he laughed as well and bowed.
"I apologize miss, it won't happen again. Shall I get you new ones?" he asked.
"No, you can use the white roses for the festival that's tomorrow. Maybe I can give away a rose to each person, there must be enough of them for the entire capital?" i asked and smiled softly.
He nodded once. "I will prepare the flowers for the event."
"Thank you, I will take my leave, goodbye." I said, and bowed once, he bowed back and I walked out of the main hall.
How dare he get white roses when I asked for fire lilies! Fire lilies are my favorite flowers in the fire nation, they bloomed just a few times a year and precisely that time was when I and Zuko would get married, they were in full bloom. They had such beautiful colors.
Right now it's only a week before our wedding. I and Zuko rarely had any time for each other, but today we would spend the entire day together. According to Iroh, it was a good idea. However, I was hesitant, but guess it was good if the palace staff to see us spend more time together than at the dinner table. I was very stressed before the wedding. I had gotten some choices for the wedding on my shoulders, as long as it kept the tradition and Zuko accepted it. He also liked the fire lilies so they were acceptable to use the flowers as base flowers throughout the wedding.
Tomorrow night, it was also a festival for everyone in fire nation, adult as child, poor as rich. It worried me. I had gone out of the people only once in a while and it was for a very short time. Because of the rumors began to spread that I did not like my people. Which was not true, all those I had met so far had been welcoming and friendly and so I had a very positive opinion of my people.
Another thing stressed me, I would give a speech in front of the capital. I was terrified at the thought to ask me in front of people and inspire them while they'll get a good picture of me that fire lady. I had not had any clue about what I was talking about, or what I would say. But I would solve it tomorrow morning.
I still had not made up my sleeping problems with Zuko; I always dreamed nightmares about children, or pregnancy. I do not know why, but it scared the life out of me. What could it mean? I have tried several times to bring it up here with the kids ... but it's hard.
Flashback
I looked down in the wooden table, playing with my fingers nervously. Today, I was gonna do it! I was gonna bring it up now. It was dinner, Zuko was reading through some papers. Just that little scared me, I didn't want to bother him while he worked.
"Um, Zuko?" I asked hesitatingly. He didn't look up, he just looked down at his papers and drank a little water.
"Yeah?"
"I want to talk to you about something." I said, and he looked up at me then.
"Can we take it later? I just want to finish the work, and I'll come to your room once it's done?" he asked softly and smiled a little. I agreed to it, but sadly, once he actually came into the room. I backed out.
"I kind of wondered if you like fire lilies? Because i'd love to use them for our wedding." I said, and smiled innocently.
End of flashback
I walked through the great halls of the fire lords palace. Here I felt a little bit more comfortable walking these days. I could see myself here for the rest of my life. It's such a beautiful palace, but I think it's bigger than required. But what do I know? I'm just a girl from the southern water tribe. We live in small igloos after all. I guess I'm just not used to so much space.
I walked past the royal garden and stopped. My walking changed direction and I looked out the window, seeing the beautiful garden. It had a very small river running through it, with a bridge on the middle of the garden, on each side of it there were different kind of flowers and so many bright colors. The sun was shining so the water looked extra beautiful as it moved. I sighed and smiled at how beautiful the garden was.
"Do I mean nothing to you?"
The voice was dull, but I could hear it perfectly. It was a female voice, and I turned my head a little bit to the left, and saw Zuko and Mei standing further away, in the shadows at a more hidden part.
Zuko nodded once, looking determent. I raised an eyebrow. He still hadn't broken it off with Mei?
Suddenly a loud smack was heard and my mouth dropped in shock. Mei had slapped him, tears were streaming down her cheeks and she looked so upset. "Fine, whatever, you fucking loser, you don't mean anything at all to me anymore! I'll move fucking on from you, blame yourself that you lost me! Don't ever come back crying once you've grown tired of that water bending peasant!" she screamed, and walked away with determent steps.
Zuko's P.O.V
I put my hand to the burning spot on my cheek. I really hope that wouldn't leave a mark, someone might think it was Katara who slapped me. Mei walked off, even her walk looked furious, which made me smile. It looked ridiculous how she tried to swing her hips so that I would look at her ass. I shook my head and went inside again with a small smirk on my face.
This morning I'd gotten a letter from her who asked me to meet her in the garden, she'd even added a heart on the letter. So I met her there, but I had already decided that I couldn't keep on being with her. If I got caught, things would end badly. So I told her I didn't want her to have anything to do with me, and well, her reaction wasn't the best, but at least she was trying to be independent?
She honestly meant nothing to me, she's just an ex. I have to focus on Katara, after all, she'll be my wife. I can't walk around and cheat with others.
Since I had a day off today I wore my short hair down, I kept it short since I liked it that way, it was much more comfortable, and if I don't remember wrong Katara had mentioned something about it being attractive. I put my hands in my pockets. I also wore pants and a regular fire nation shirt today, since I was starting to get tired of the fire lord clothing. Pants were more comfortable.
Ah, there she was. Beautiful Katara, with her long hair down. She'd followed my steps and wore pants today as well, which wasn't appropriate for a woman, but I didn't care. She was looking out through the window to the garden and I sneaked up behind her and placed a kiss on her neck. "Hello."
As a response she jerked and looked back at me. I loved to surprise her like that when she was in deep thought, she always reacted the same.
"Hi, stop scaring me like that!" she exclaimed in complaint. I grinned to her.
"Never." I said, and tilted my head to the side. "Wanna head for the bedroom?"
She raised an eyebrow, and then I realized how wrong that came out. "I didn't mean it like that! I meant it's more private and we can sit down and talk."
"or have sex."
"Or just think."
"Or have sex."
"Or maybe read a book?"
"Or have sex."
"Jeez woman, Soothe your needs!" I said, and grinned teasingly to her and she got a little pink on her cheeks.
"Shut up, Just don't try anything, alright?" Katara said and looked away. She looked really awkward and I smiled.
"No problem, I don't want you until the wedding night anyways." I started walking towards my bedroom and she followed close behind.
"I'm not attractive enough now?"
"The tradition says I can't have you until then, but as an answer, yes you are attractive enough but I'm trying to be a little bit of a gentleman."
"And you fail."
"I disagree, I think I'm doing a great job." I said, and got a little irritated. I hadn't touched her inappropriately once, no matter how badly I wanted her, not once had I touched her. I hadn't even kissed her on the lips yet.
"Yeah, a gentleman doesn't make his woman blush like you do, not in my opinion at least."
I started mumbling stuff in irritation, and she giggled. "That's cute."
That made me blush as well. I don't want to be "cute". I wanna be hot or handsome or something… cute sounds so… girlish. "I'm not!" I said in defense. She realized I didn't like it and looked down. Almost ashamed and I bit my tongue a bit for using that tone.
We arrived at my bedroom and I opened the door. "Ladies first." I said, and she walked inside without saying a word. I followed and closed the door.
"Zuko?" she said, I looked at her. Her voice sounded a little troubled. Maybe she was trying to open up to me or something?
"Yes?" I said, with the softest voice I could use, and looked at her. She sat down on the bed, looking at her hands which she nervously played with. Cute.
"There's something that's been bothering me for a while."
I sat down next to her, and moved her hair away from her face and placed it behind her ear gently, waiting for her to continue.
"I've had trouble sleeping lately, I dream nightmares some nights, and some nights I dream amazing dreams. But I feel like it's freaking me out, and I need to talk to you about it."
"What is it?" I asked, and looked at her face, she kept her head down. What was wrong?
"I'm not sure if I'm ready to have kids right after the wedding." She mumbled, with a bit of an ashamed voice and I just looked at her, slightly surprised.
"Really?"
End of chapter
A new one will be up soon!
~Amai
