Chapter 8: Good To Go
Four weeks had passed since Bella's procedure and life had gone on as usual…for the most part. I would have liked to say that she was back to her "old self", but that was not entirely true. From time to time, when she thought I was wasn't looking, I caught glimpses of that familiar pain flit through her gaze. Her beautiful, delicate features would smooth over in a mask of discontent, but as quickly as it came, it was gone again, leaving me to wonder which specific memory had brought it on. Was it when I left her, the loss of our child, her inability to open up to me for months since the sight of me brought on more hurt? The list seemed to go on for far too long.
Bella and I were arriving at Dr. Burke's office for her post-surgical check. She performed the exam by ultrasound to ensure that the cerclage was still in place, which it was. Everything seemed to have healed as expected, which of course was a relief.
"Bella, you can get dressed and I will be back in a few minutes." Dr. Burke said as she left the room. She quickly slipped on her jeans. She had worn a pale blue, striped button down which I handed to her. She was buttoning it up when I noticed that her hands were shaking. I stood up and covered her hands with mine. "Here, let me do that." She looked up at me quickly with an odd expression, but conceded, letting her hands drop to her sides.
The doctor came back in the room before I had a chance to question her.
"Bella, Edward, everything looks great, you're good to go. Judging from your ovaries you are right in mid-cycle and about to ovulate. This is good timing for you guys if you're ready. Once you do conceive, I will want to monitor you weekly to ensure that your cervix is not thinning." Dr. Burke was smiling, as was I, Bella was not. Her face was void of any emotion as she fiddled with the strap to her purse in her lap.
"Do you have any questions?" She asked. Bella looked up quickly, seeming to be shook out of her daze. "No, I don't, do you Edward?"
"No I don't. Thank you Dr. Burke." I replied as I stood up. "Hopefully we will see you soon." I smiled as I extended my hand to her, which she shook. I led Bella out of her office back to the Volvo.
For the next few minutes, other than the hum of the tires on the freeway, there was utter silence. I glanced over and she didn't seem to be upset, possibly just thoughtful. I reached over and took her hand in mine.
"You okay love?"
She slowly turned her head towards me, at first wearing a concerned expression, but then her lips turned up in a soft smile. "Yes, I'm fine, just tired I think."
"I was planning a nice evening out for us, but if you are not up for it, I can cancel our reservations." I said casually, though inside I felt completely deflated. I had hoped that tonight we could have a little celebration and possibly get a jump-start on trying to conceive if she was ready.
"No, no, don't cancel…I'll be fine. I'll just lie down for a few minutes when we get home."
When we arrived home Bella headed straight upstairs without a word. After a few moments of trying to not overreact that she was once again emotionally regressing, her cell phone rang on the counter. I picked it up.
"Hi Alice."
"Hi Edward. How did the doctor's appointment go? Everything still good?" She asked hopefully.
"Yes, everything looks great. Dr. Burke said she has healed very nicely. We just have to let her know once we have conceived because she wants to monitor Bella weekly." I said while running my hands through my hair, attempting to feel as positive as my voice sounded.
"That's great. I'm so glad to hear it. Jasper and I have been thinking about you two all day."
"Thanks Alice, that's very thoughtful of you."
"Are you still planning on taking her dancing tonight?" She asked calmly, though I could tell she was trying to reign in her enthusiasm. She had told me on more than one occasion that although she loved her husband with all her heart, his date planning skills were lacking. She was had been a little jealous at some of the things I have planned for Bella and me over the years.
"When we left the doctor's office she was very tired and went right up to lie down. I told her we could cancel, but she said no, she just needed to rest. Though, when I tell her what we are doing, she might change her mind." I laughed lightly. The few times that Bella and I had gone dancing we had a great time, but it took some serious arm-twisting on my part to get her to go in the first place.
Alice and I disconnected and then I went upstairs to check on Bella. She was as I had expected, curled up on our bed with her red throw blanket over her, sound asleep. To her credit, it did look like she tried to read since there was a book, one of the many she was currently reading, open beside her. I took the opportunity to jump in the shower so that it would be free when she awoke and needed to get ready.
As I enjoyed the warmth of the shower, its heat helping to push away some of the tension that had taken up permanent residence in my shoulders, I thought about how Bella had acted earlier. I would be the first to admit that she rarely reacted to situations how I thought she would, but she didn't seem the least bit happy that the doctor gave us the okay. Although our sex life had certainly improved since our heart to heart on our weekend away, and she was always receptive to me, there was definitely a spark missing that had been there before.
Not to say that I mind initiating, but she had certainly done her fair share of seducing in the past. She had a way of looking at me, and it could be from across the room, that would literally knock the breath out of me. I would immediately be by her side where she would suggest some completely inappropriate place that we could run off to. Of course I couldn't resist her – I'd like to see any man that could. She is truly the whole package, beauty, brains, sexy, and a sense of humor. I still wonder how I got so lucky.
Maybe, what happened to us had forever changed the fabric of our being and I should stop expecting it to go back to how it was. As long as Bella loves me and is happy, that is enough for me.
I was brought out of my reverie when I heard the bathroom door open.
"Hi." Bella said sweetly in her sleepy voice.
"Hi, love. Do you feel better? You only slept for about forty-five minutes."
"I think it was enough though. Once I shower I'm sure I'll be fine." She replied.
I turned off the water, opened the door to grab a towel and dried myself off. Bella was leaned up against the vanity counter still in a daze. "It's all yours." I said as I kissed her on the cheek. She shed her clothes and was about to get in. "Oh, Alice called and wanted to know how the appointment went. I let her know everything was fine."
"Okay, thanks." She said as I closed the bathroom door. I went to the closet and searched for what to wear – black slacks and a light blue button down will work, no tie. Once I was ready I went downstairs to take care of some things before we left.
Bella came down the stairs a little while later, just as I was finishing up. She was beyond stunning in a black dress with a full skirt. I had never seen it before. It graced her figure perfect and fell to just below her knee. It showed off her toned arms and perfect legs.
I knew I was staring at her like a piece of meat, but I couldn't help it. She laughed as she walked over to me and ran a finger along the side of my neck down into the upper part of my chest left exposed by my shirt. I fought my instinct to let my eyes roll back from the wonderful sensation. "I guess you think my new dress looks nice." She smiled as she reached up and kissed my cheek.
"'Nice' it not the word I would have used, more like 'lethal'" I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. She was much taller than I was used to due to her red high heels. I leaned over and took at better look at them. "Are those comfortable? Not that I entirely care because they are damn sexy."
She laughed lightly then looked down and stuck her foot out, "Yes, surprisingly." She narrowed her eyes. "Why?"
I purposely avoided her question. "You ready?" I asked as I tugged her towards the door. She laughed, knowing full well what I was trying to pull. "Yes, just let me grab my phone."
We arrived at the restaurant twenty minutes later. It was the same Hispanic place I had taken her on our second date over two years ago. We had a great meal, just like before, and easy conversation. She was still trying to decide whether she really wanted to go on to complete her Ph.D. She was starting to plan Alice's baby shower, so we discussed possible venues. I told her about some of my patients.
When we left I headed straight to the dance club. She was looking at me with a scowl and a grin, but didn't say a word. I pulled up in front and was surprised that she didn't start throwing a fit. I walked around and opened her door for her, offering her my hand and once again admiring her glorious legs.
As we walked in she still didn't rebuke, just held a serene smile on her face, like she knew something that I didn't. I found us a table by the dance floor, seated Bella and went over to the bar. I brought her back a glass of wine. I stuck with water since I was driving and had already had a drink at dinner. Bella's eyes were cast on the dance floor watching a few other couples. She had a devious grin on her face. I sat down beside her and after I tore my eyes off her, which was a feat in itself, I followed her gaze. She was watching a tall blonde woman and a larger man dancing a waltz, and they were quite good.
I felt my brows knit together in confusion. "Is that...?" I pointed as I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder. I turned quickly to see Jasper and Alice standing behind me. Bella was giggling, covering her mouth with her hands as took in my dumb-founded expression.
"I guess we surprised him, huh?" Jasper said as he laughed with the girls. The other couple, I now saw for certain as they came walking over to us, were Rose and Emmett,.
I turned to Bella and pointed a finger at her. "You're sneaky! And here I thought you were going to fight me on going dancing, so I had to trick you, while all along you planned this."
Her face still held a mischievous grin. "I knew you wouldn't let me plan anything for your birthday, so I thought we would do it without you knowing." I was still shocked. My birthday wasn't until the end of next week and I certainly hadn't expected anything with all that was going on.
I leaned over and kissed her full on the lips. "Thank you and I love you."
"You're welcome." She smiled against my lips. "Happy birthday Edward."
"Okay, okay, enough with the kissy-face, let's get back to celebrating." Emmett boomed. I turned to look at him. "I had no idea you could or liked to dance." I said.
"Well, you aren't the only one that Mom forced to take lessons, if you do recall, and I made Emmett take lessons before our wedding." Rosalie said with a smirk.
"I'm going to attempt to dance," said Alice from behind me, "but I'm not sure how off balance I will be." She laughed while she ran a hand over her swelled stomach. She was definitely growing by the second, especially having been so tiny to begin with. It was hard to imagine, even as a doctor, that she and my sister will end up giving birth to roughly the same size babies. It didn't seem physically possible.
I swiftly stood up and held my hand out to my wife, which she accepted, and I pulled her close to me. A rumba was just starting to play and it was one of my favorites. She seductively shook her hips as me went to the center of the floor.
We spent the next several hours dancing, laughing and talking at our table. Alice was right, she was quite awkward with her stomach in the way. She and Jasper mostly just stood in place and swayed to the beat. Emmett and my sister were impressive, especially considering he was the largest man in the whole club. He spun and swung her all over the place. I was content to keep Bella as close to me as possible. I held her delicate hand to my chest and cupped the small of her back with my other one. I caught more than a few men staring at her, and in the past that may have bothered me, brought out my jealous streak, but tonight I could not begrudge them. She truly looked amazing.
Bella and Alice had even arranged for a small cake to be delivered to our table, candles and all. We were one of the last groups to leave the club that night, which was certainly one I'd always remember.
We arrived home a little after midnight. Bella immediately kicked off her high heels.
"Not quite as comfortable as you thought?" I said as I kissed the top of her head. She laughed. Shortly after we headed up to bed, both of us tired from a fun night. I knew what I had had on my mind since the second I saw her in that black dress, but wasn't sure if Bella felt the same.
We both climbed in bed donning our pajamas. No matter what my hormones were saying, I felt sleep overtaking me quickly.
I had no idea how long I had been asleep when I felt warm fingers reaching under my t-shirt to the bare skin of my stomach. They were drawing little circles on my flesh causing little waves of goose bumps to pass over my skin. I was in an out of consciousness and not entirely sure if I was dreaming it. Then I felt her hand trail south to the waistband of my boxers and a finger dip below it - that certainly woke me up quickly.
I promptly rolled over and caught her face between my hands, kissing her passionately. She eagerly reciprocated as I felt her warm mouth open to allow me entrance. She tasted so sweet, so unbearably delicious. Our kissing became more forceful, like we couldn't connect deep enough. Her hands were grasping and pulling at my clothes in a desperation I hadn't felt from her in a long time, but one I seemed to feel all of the time for her. Bella sat up and swiftly pulled her nightshirt over her head throwing it haphazardly to the floor, revealing her perfect, round breasts that were heaving with desire. She then grabbed at mine as she pulled it over my head.
Our hands were frantically moving all over each other, caressing and massaging. I was overcome with pure lust and need for her body, entirely primal. Every single inch of her felt utterly wonderful to my tactile senses. She pulled at my boxers as I ripped her underwear off. We both chuckled at our eagerness. Bella put her hands on the center my chest, forcing me to lie down then gracefully swung her leg over my hips so that she was straddling me. She reached between her legs and firmly grabbed my length, causing me to gasp.
Before I even had a chance to ask her if she wanted me to wear protection, she pinned my arms above my head and was sliding down me – the pressure and heat was…unbelievable. I lifted my head and took her breast in my mouth, sucking hard, making her moan loudly in my ear, which just aroused me even further.
After that it was all a blur of thrusting, pushing and pulling. It was as aggressive and animalistic as we had ever been. "Oh God…Edward…you feel to good…in me." She gasped out right before she arched back in the most sinful of ways. I pulled my hand free and grabbed her breast hard, as she cried out in ecstasy. I bucked a few more times under her and followed in a guttural cry with the most forceful orgasm I had ever experienced.
Her silky skin had a slight sheen of sweat as I ran my hands over it. She rolled off of me to my side. I jerked my body to my side and flopped an arm over her stomach. "That was…"
"Amazing." She finished in a breathy whisper.
"I was going to say hot as hell, but amazing works too." I laughed lightly. I pulled her closer to me and kissed the nape of her neck. "I love you Bella." I murmured right before unconsciousness overtook me.
As I awoke, I rolled over in bed to find cool, unoccupied sheets. I heard rustling coming from the bathroom.
"Bella?" I said with closed eyes. When she didn't respond I sat up and ran my hands over my face to attempt to wake up. I turned and looked at the clock, it was only seven.
"Bella, love, why are you up so early. It's Saturday." I moaned. "I was going to cook you breakfast in bed…only much later," again, no response. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, grabbed my boxers and pulled them on, and walked into the bathroom. Bella was putting items from the vanity into our weekend travel bag.
"What's going on? Why are you packing a bag?" I put my hand on her shoulder and was trying to push away all of the panic and fear that was quickly coming to the surface.
"Bella!" I pleaded. She slowly turned around and drew her eyes up to meet mine. They were ringed with red and dark circles shadowed her face. It looked like she hadn't slept at all.
I stood there, staring at her, willing her to speak. Everything in me wanted to shake her, make her speak, but I would never hurt her, ever.
She cleared her throat and finally said. "I'm going to visit Charlie for a few days." I stared at her incredulously - not registering her words.
"Well…uh…I could see if Andrew could cover for me for a few days…let me make a few calls." My mind was spinning a million miles an hour.
Bella wouldn't look up at me. She was twisting her wedding band on her finger. I saw a tear fall and splash onto the tile floor. Then it hit me, like an Emmett-sized fist in the stomach. "You don't want me to come with you…do you?" I choked out.
Silence. I squeezed her shoulder hoping to egg an answer out of her. She reached up and wiped the tears from her cheek before she looked up at me. "Please understand Edward, I just need to get away for a few days, clear my head. It will only be three, maybe four days at most." She put her hand on my cheek, pleading with her bottom-less brown eyes for me to understand.
"Have you had this planned and didn't tell me?" I asked tentatively. She simply shook her head. Her beautiful chestnut hair swaying around her, covering her face so she didn't have to look at me. I knew that was her 'shield'.
I wanted more explanation, more words, more anything…but I knew…if I pushed her, she would just run faster, so I conceded. "Okay Bella, if that's what you need," my pulse was thudding in my ears, almost deafening, "I'll try to understand.". How could everything seem so right less than twelve hours ago, seven hours ago we were having some of the best sex ever, and now she was leaving me? Obviously I had no idea what was going on in her head, yet again. I felt as though my heart was shriveling inside my chest from my failures.
Twenty minutes later Bella closed the door behind her.
