A/N: Sorry for the sabbatical. Computer problems then pregnancy then unemployment and two cross country moves, etc. C'est la vie. I made some alterations to one or two characters, if you'd like to go back and take a look, but as a rule, the show goes on and this story's structure stands. I like how it goes. I began with the end in mind. I'm not budging. Hope you enjoy. ^_^
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing
"This is stupid," Relena mumbled as she kicked at a rock in the path. The sleek finish of the inconsistent rainfall caused her to slip and stumble slightly. She caught her balance without a fall, but it was just another injury to her already broken and weary pride. Dropping her shoulder, Relena sighed and made her way through the tall grass by the trail and plopped down on a bench beside the pond.
Heero doesn't know what I want, she thought. Heck. I don't know what I want.
She stared at her hands, rubbing her fingers together as she thought.
I want to leave.
She rolled her head back, looking into the blinding white, overcast sky. "I want to go home," she whispered.
"You're welcomed to leave whenever you like."
Relena's muscles jumped into action, throwing her body back to its erect position, as she spun to face her visitor. "Lady Airi!"
"You're in my seat," the older woman commented passively as she made her way closer. She gestured to the vacancy beside Relena. "May I?"
"Do as you like. It's your village," Relena answered in a nostalgic, deadpan tone. A sense of déjà vu tickled at her sense, but she brushed it off.
"I wasn't trying to be insulting-" Relena started after several minutes of silence.
"No," the Lady responded. "You're right. It is our village."
"Wha-? No!" Relena answered in surprise. "I mean, what I said before-about wanting to go home."
Lady Airi laughed lightly. "I know."
Relena blinked. The mistress of the home was simply playing word games with her.
Airi Chiaki turned to face Relena. "I know what you mean," she said in a soothing voice. "These things can be stressful."
The princess turned her face away, her cheeks burning with vulnerability and frustration.
"I wouldn't have taken it."
The blonde looked back up, waiting for an explanation.
"I had a choice," Airi, continued, turning her eyes back to the water below them. "I was going to decline the Daimyo's proposal."
"What happened?"
"There was-someone." Lady Airi pulled her silver braid forward, over her shoulder, and began to play with the ends of her hair. Her eyes unfocused as her thoughts drifted into the past.
"Tadaaki was a good man. Is, I guess. I don't know. I haven't-it's been so long." The Lady shifted her weight, folding her ankles under the bench.
"Tadaaki was everything I'd wanted in a man. He was honest and brave, tender and playful, a little bit foolhardy. Oh, and he was handsome. So handsome." She sighed. "He was very good friends with Takahiro-my husband."
"Takahiro?" Relena asked.
"Oh," Airi answered. "My husband hasn't gone by his first name in decades. Not since he was given the title of the Daimyo of Shinden. I tried to keep it, like a secret between us, but-" She smiled at her guest and shrugged. "'What is in a name?' It is, after all, just a title, and his was replaced. He's the Daimyo, now. And hopefully, after him, our grandson will be given the same title."
Relena immediately began to feel guilty, but a soft laugh in Lady Chiaki's throat brought them back to the memory.
"Tadaaki. I don't get to talk about him, much. Takahiro loved him so. I suppose he didn't even realize that it hurt me when he left. The Daimyo is so-affectionate. He wouldn't have people know that, but he's very deeply loving toward his friends.
"Tadaaki heard of our arrangement before I did. Our parents handled those things.
"In this tradition, the parents bring us up, hearing and knowing us as best they can, and going from their own experience of what a marriage takes to succeed, they find us a match who complements our strengths and weaknesses. It worked that way for thousands of years. Even when it had changed everywhere else, there were still so many of us who tried to stay with the tradition. I suppose it was only a matter of time before it ended.
"But, Tadaaki heard of our parents' decision before I did. He told me, before they had a chance." The elder woman smiled at the face she saw her memory. "We were friends. Very close, but-I just couldn't bring myself to tell him, before then." She looked at her hands, on her lap, memorizing the wrinkles the years had left behind. "I loved him," she explained, in almost a whisper.
Relena was staring at her, unsure if she should look away. The quiet bubbling brook of memories was beautiful, but a little intimate. Because of her fated career, it had been years since Relena had been in such a conversation. She wasn't even sure anymore when it was appropriate.
Lady Airi Chiaki straightened, again. "So I told him, that night. I was so frightened to say it, but he just smiled. He knew. He'd always known.
"I knew he was Takahiro's friend, but I wanted nothing more than for him to choose me. I wanted him to take me away from this place-at least until Takahiro had found another bride. I wanted to be with Tadaaki.
"But he would never do that," she continued. "He was a good, honorable man. A man of his word and his loyalties. He would never betray his friends." She smiled as her dark blue eyes met Relena's, again. "The irony of it being that that's exactly what I loved about him."
She smiled sadly, and continued. "So, Tadaaki asked me to stay. He told me that he agreed with my parents-that I would be a wonderful wife to the Daimyo. No matter how I begged him to take it back, I couldn't wipe that smile off of his face. He looked so proud of me.
"The last thing he said to me, that night," she said, softly. "Was, 'I love you.'"
Quiet settled over the pair until Relena began to wonder if Lady Chiaki had forgotten herself
"I never saw him again," she said, suddenly. She finally frowned, her lips and cheeks matching the sadness of her eyes.
Lady Airi sighed, settling back, in the bench, and then she grinned, again, at Relena. "Tadaaki was my dearest friend. He will always be the love of a lifetime. Perhaps, one might say, 'the one that got away'. But Tadaaki was and will ever be a man of great honor. I think he did what he truly thought was best for his two dearest friends, and now-years later-I'm grateful to him. My husband has loved me so dearly, and I could never imagine if I had taken a different path."
Relena looked away, contemplating the story and puzzling over whether Lady Airi had meant it as a proverbial push toward the position as Hayato's bride. "Did you know him?" She finally asked. "The Daimyo?" Relena turned her eyes on Lady Chiaki. "Did you know your husband before you were married?"
"I knew him by name and face," she answered. "I had met him. I knew he was Tadaaki's friend, and that they were close. I knew that he was a good and very busy young man.
"However, as the person who knows him best in the world, now, the true answer to your question is no. I did not know him. I knew only what was on that paper when I married him."
Relena felt cold. "I couldn't-" The thought slipped past her lips without specification.
Airi Chiaki put her hand on Relena's knee. "I know," she whispered, and pulled herself to her feet.
She turned her eyes to the heavens. "It should continue to rain," she announced to the younger woman. "You may want to go in, out of the weather, Your Highness."
Lady Chiaki bowed, low, and strolled back toward the house.
Relena sat another several minutes in the damp air, mulling over her thoughts.
:::
Preventer Wind stared blankly at the page in front of him. In spite of his royal past and wartime battlefield experience, at nearly three decades old, the paper was the single most valuable thing he'd ever held in his hand.
Again, he reached to touch it, though not sure why, and again, his fingers stopped milimeters away. There was a grail-like reverence in the moment, and in spite of his experience in the legal matters in front of him, he was suddenly at a loss in how to proceed.
"Milliardo?" Relena's voice cut through his contemplations without warning.
"Relena," he sighed, offering what seemed like a barely sincere smile. "Come in." Of course, the phrase was pointless, as the girl had picked up the habit, somewhere, of entering a room unannounced and without consideration of whether she was welcomed.
She walked briskly toward him. "I'm ready to go home. I'll talk with the Daimyo, tonight, and Wufei and I will be on the first flight out in the morning," she announced. As she reached his side, she turned her attention to the desk."That looks old," she whispered.
He took a cool breath, swallowing the air. "It's really less than thirty years old, but it's badly damaged. Apparently three wars has a way of wearing things down."
Relena suppressed a chuckle. "So, is this the original contract?" She asked, not really looking for a response, as she examined the paper for herself. "-After Colony 1-8-2-?" Her voice was soft, and broken. "Milliardo, this was-they drafted this-"
"I know," he answered, under his voice.
"Milliardo," She reached out to touch it, but he impulsively caught her wrist, stopping her hand. "This was the day our parents died." Her voice was making a statement, but her eyes caught his fiery stare with a question. "This could be the last thing our mother signed."
"Yes." His voice was as cold and solid as his posture.
Relena was suddenly much more aware of his grip on her wrist. She pulled away, bringing his own attention to the unconscious aggression.
Milliardo mumbled an apology, covering the paper, again, with protective plastic. His hand hovered over the page, still unsure how to handle such a precious item.
The last command from Queen Peacecraft.
Relena stepped back, sighing. She began to pace, lightly. "Do you think that was the last thing she signed?"
"Yes," he said, still fighting for control over his own emotions.
"Why would she do that?" Relena halted, turned back toward him. "Why would our mother issue a document like that?
The former prince turned his stare on his sister.
"An arranged marriage?" Relena pressed.
"Maybe it was-a contingency plan. Maybe the Darlians hadn't entered the picture yet."
"My parents were late?" she snapped, turning her back on him.
Milliardo blinked, wondering when they had gone from emotional to fighting each other. After a few seconds he realized she was not fighting with him, but with herself. "I didn't mean-"
"I know," she cooed. "I'm sorry."
Time slowed between them as they both pondered the situation that had ended them here.
"Our mother's dying wish was for me to marry someone I don't know," she said, softly. Her chest burned with sadness.
Milliardo began to flex and release his fist as he stared at the desk. "There's no telling what happened here, Relena. She may have-she may have been under distress."
"You don't know that's how it happened."
"You don't know that's not."
"Perhaps," a third voice interrupted. "I can shed some light."
