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Standing on Puck's (the house may belong to the Hudsons, but for now the home is Puck's) porch has Kurt feeling vulnerable. It doesn't matter that his father is three feet behind him; he only ever steps outside to see Dr. Kymbal, and that's routine now so it's okay, but this is new and scary and exposed.
With every knock on the door his unease grows. His father puts a hand on his shoulder, steadying him, but the world is still spinning unpredictably until the door finally, finally opens, and there's Puck.
"Kurt?"
"Can we please come in?" Kurt sounds more desperate than he means to, but not nearly as desperate as he feels.
At Kurt's "we," Puck looks around in confusion until his eyes fall on Burt. He'd only had eyes for Kurt. "Uh, yeah, of course," he steps out of the doorway.
"Thank you!" Kurt bursts past, followed closely by his father.
As Puck shuts the door, Kurt finally gets a good look at him. His eyes are red and puffy from tears, his youthful stubble unshaven. He's moving stiffly, weakly, and Kurt's certain he's wearing the same clothes as when he last saw him.
"Noah..."
"Kurt? Why-"
"I'm so sorry! I was stupid and I never should have said what I did. I was wrong. I wish I could take it all back. Can... Can we just pretend it never happened... by reason of mental defect?"
Puck looks hopeful but guarded, "Are you taking me back?"
"Will you take me back?"
Puck's heart stops, or maybe it's just started beating again. His answer is to close the gap between their bodies and wrap Kurt in a hug, his body shaking with emotion.
Kurt returns the embrace, "I missed you, Noah!"
"I need you, Kurt."
A sob catches in Kurt's throat, "I'm sorry. I never should have abandoned you when we needed each other the most!"
"Shh, it's okay."
"No, it's not. I was horrible!"
"We'll talk about it later. Right now, I just want to hold you. I need to feel you're really here."
"I'm here. I'm not leaving you again."
That undoes Puck. He buries his head in Kurt's shoulder and sobs. Kurt is back. That's all he needed. Everything is going to be okay now. Kurt's here. Kurt's his.
Burt watches them until the touching scene brings a tear to his eyes. 'Okay, enough of that.' He ventures into the kitchen to find some food for the obviously thinning jock. The boys could use the privacy.
When it becomes obvious Puck is having difficulty supporting his own weight, Kurt pulls him to the couch and sits him down.
Puck grabs Kurt's hand to pull him down, as well. Kurt thinks he's complying when he goes to sit on the cushion next to Puck's, but that's not enough for Puck. He needs to feel Kurt, hold him, have his heart beat against his chest. He pulls Kurt into his lap and holds him close.
It's painful for Kurt to see how desperate Puck is for him. He had said more hurtful things to Puck than he had to anyone, yet here Puck is, opening his heart again and letting Kurt crawl back in.
This is love. This is the unconditional acceptance and adoratin that Kurt never should have doubted.
Kurt will just have to earn it.
Burt walks into the living room scratching the back of his head awkwardly, "Uh, there's no food in there... but, Kid, are you hungry?"
Puck's noisy stomach answers for him.
Kurt rubs it sympathetically.
Puck leans his forehead to Kurt's, revelling in the affection he's so craved.
Burt continues, "Well, we've got plenty of food at our house-"
Suddenly, Puck has plenty of food at his house as Sarah leads Carole and a few armfulls of groceries into the entryway.
Upon seeing the newly-formed couple cuddling on the couch, Sarah drops the (luckily durable) food, squeals, and pounces on them. "You unbroke up! Yay yay yay! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She plants a sloppy kiss on Kurt's cheek, then gives her brother equal treatment. "It it because of me?"
Kurt leans his head into Puck's shoulder, "It was because of Noah, but you helped, Bucket."
Sarah preens, then rushes off to tell Carole of her heroism.
Puck nuzzles his cheek into Kurt's hair, "I love you."
Kurt is shocked, actually shocked, that Puck takes such intitiative. Not once, but twice, he has rejected Puck's declarations of love, and here he's trying again. Kur links their eyes so Puck can see his sincerity, "I love you, too. I never stopped."
A few tears fall, but Puck manages not to break down. He just buries his head in Kurt's neck, lets go of the past, and embraces the present.
Carole walks in with a steaming bowl, "I brought you some soup, Noah. I thought you might be hungry. Do you want some, too, Kurt?"
"No, thank you," Kurt accepts the bowl. He scoops some chicken noodle onto the spoon, gently blows away the steam, and brings it to Puck's lips.
Puck lets Kurt feed him and manages to finsh half the bowl before his stomach protests his sudden decision not to starve.
Kurt places the bowl on the ground out of harm's way and cuddles back into Puck's warm body.
Puck sniffs then groans, "I need a shower."
Kurt laughs softly, "Let's sit here a bit longer, let you digest, and then we'll get you cleaned up."
"Okay," Puck can't argue with getting to hold Kurt a little longer, no matter how stale he smells.
Rebekah Puckerman walks into a very different house than the one she'd left. There are sounds, happy sounds like laughter, and the smell of hot food. Noah's out of his room, and with... Kurt?
She manages to get her Save-A-Lot bag all the way to the kitchen table before she is noticed.
"Oh, Rebekah, hi!" Carole's voice is cheery, "Sorry, we've sort of made outselves at home here."
Rebekah smiles but her words hurt her, "Well, it is your house."
"Oh, my house was never this clean!"
'Because you're employed full-time.' "It' the least I could do."
"Sarah, why don't you see how Kurt and Noah are doing?" When Sarah skips out of the kitchen, Carole turns back to Rebekah, "How is everything?"
"Isaac's in jail. He was arrested a few days ago. The trial starts on Tuesday."
"The police keep us informed, Rebekah. I meant, how are you?"
Rebakah begins to unload her boxes and cans of discount non-parishables, "I'm fine. We're getting by. I think it will all get better once the trial's over and everything can just be put to rest. How's... How's Kurt?"
It's Burt who fields this question, "Better. Much better. He's talking with someone about it. I think the fact that he's back together with Noah means a lot."
"They broke up?" Rebekah can't hide her surprise in time to save herself from the embarrassment of ignorance.
Carole tries to save her friend, "Oh, it was just a quick thing. It's all over now."
Rebekah nods, then looks at the soup on the stove, "Thanks for feeding my kids."
"Oh, it was nothing. The kids wanted to see each other." Carole isn't sure if it's a good idea to burden Rebekah with the knowledge that Sarah was walking around Lima unsupervised, and is saved from making the decision when Puck, Kurt, and Sarah enter the kitchen.
Puck, an arm around Kurt's waist, clears his throat nervously, "Mr. Hummel, if your offer still stands, would you mind if I stayed with Kurt tonight?"
Burt doesn't remember making such an offer, but he's not going to rescind it now. He looks to Rebekah, who nods her permission, and agrees, "You're always welcome in our home, Noah."
Puck relaxes.
"Thanks, Dad," Kurt smiles. "Come on, Noah, let's pack your stuff."
Sarah follows her brother to his room like a puppy watching her master prepare for an extended trip.
Rebekah wraps her arms around herself and looks to Carole beseechingly, "Take Sarah, too?"
It takes a moment for Carole to fully comprehend what Rebekah has asked of her, and a moment more to get over the shock, "Rebekah, I'm sure she needs her mother right now."
"She needs her brother." The tears finally come, "Carole, I'm not much of a mother right now."
"Okay, I'll tell you what: Burt will take the kids home, they'll spend the night, and you and I will talk."
"Thank you. It won't be for long. I jut need a little time to get back on my feet..."
Carole gives Burt a pointed look as she moves to comfort Rebekah.
"I'll go get them ready." Burt finds all three kids rummaging through Finn's closet for the few items that had been brought over from the Puckerman residence. Noah tosses them into a grocery bag as Burt clears his throat for attention.
"Can I talk to you, Bucket?"
Sarah giggles at Burt's use of her nickname, and Burt has to agree: he does sound pretty silly. Still, she follows him into the hall.
"I was hoping to bring you back to stay with us, too."
Sarah glances in the direction of the kitchen, at the wall concealing her mother, "Why?"
"You've been a lot of help lately and I was hoping you'd help them get settled in."
Sugary treats and being helpful are Sarah Puckerman's two weaknesses. She lights up like a Menorah, "Okay, I can help!"
"Thank you. Let's get your stuff ready."
When the Puckerman children have all their current possessions packed, Burt checks that Rebekah has composed herself and has them say goodbye to their mother.
Puck and Kurt don't once let go of each other, and Kurt's grip tighens in the trips beteen front doors and the car.
When Finn sees Kurt and Puck enter the house wrapped in each others' arms, he's considerably confused. Sure, they'd been hanging out together before, but this? And after what Kurt had been through?
Kurt notices the expresion and blushes, "Noah, I think we have some explaining to do."
Puck looks up and right into the eyes of the former best friend whose girlfriend he knocked up, "Hey, Finn..."
"What the hell!"
"Hey!" Burt covers Sarah's ears. 'You three, basement, now."
The short journey does nothing to calm Finn, "Puck, what do you think you're doing?"
"I'm dating Kurt," Puck hopes just getting the truth out there will bring this to a quick end. No such luck.
"Don't you think that's pretty sick, preying on him after what just happened to him?"
"Excuse me!" Kurt enters in, "Preying? My dad was right there, Finn. Do you really think he'd let that happen? Do you really think I'd let that happen?"
"You? Kurt, I don't know what you'd let happen, or did you forget about last night?"
Kurt flinches as his leg pain flares. He hasn't yet filled Puck in, and the reference hurts regardless.
Puck's brow furrows in worry, "What happened last night?"
"I'll tell you everything later, Noah, I promise."
"You haven't told him yet? Dude, Kurt, you are so not ready to start something like this!"
"I'm not starting anything, Finn! We've been together for almost five months!"
That catches Finn off-guard, "Wait, Puck?"
"Yes, Puck! I love him. He loves me. We've been in love for a while now."
"...Oh."
"Yeah, oh. So, there's no preying going on here."
Finn is thoroughly admonished, "Ah, gee, Kurt, I'm sorry. Puck, Dude, I shouldn't have..."
"I knocked up your girlfriend, you said I was only with the man I love to take advantage of him. Even?"
"I..." Finn feels they do seem pretty evenly matched, "Yeah, Dude, even."
To solidify their pact, they spit in their hands before shaking them.
Kurt's eyebrow is still arched in annoyance.
Finn works on fixing that relationship now, "Ah, Kurt, I'm sorry... I... Remember when I said we're brothers now? Well, I'm older and bigger, which makes you the little brother, so I'm supposed to... protect you, ya' know?"
"So you yelled at me?"
Finn scratches his head, "Well, I'm new at this. I just didn't want you getting hurt."
Kurt lets go of his annoyance in a single sigh, "I guess I'm new at this, too." He looks down at his hand and grimaces. Still holding Puck's clean hand in his own, he offers an alternative to the spit shake and opens an arm for a hug, "Brothers?"
Finn accepts the embrace, "Brothers."
As Finn pulls away, he turns to Puck and as an afterthought asks, "Hey, wait, since when have you been into dudes?"
Burt has Sarah help him in the kitchen, which would just be the blind leading the blind with any actual recipe, so he attempts something easy.
"It's called a... peanut butter, banana, and Cheerio's sandwich. When Kurt was a little younger than you are now, he spent a month eating nothing but these for breakfast. He called it a 'P-nana-o Sammich.'"
Sarah giggles at Burt's best attempt at baby talk.
"Watch here. You lay the slices of bread out and you spread peanut butter on both of them. You have to use the knife for the peanut buttr first so you don't get banana in the jar. That's a very important step that took Kurt weeks to master. Next, you slice the banana over one of the of the slices of bread. Then, you take a box of Cheerio's and you pour the cereal over the other slice. Last, you crush the two slices of bread together as fast as you can so nothing falls out." Burt presents a perfect P-nana-o Sammich, "Try it."
Sarah takes a bite and ends up with a sample of each ingredient speckling her beaming face, "Mmmm!"
"Good. Now you try making one."
She does fine under Burt's occassional guidance until the last step. "Oops, I wasn't fast enough."
"That's okay. Keep practicing. We'll give that one to Finn."
"P-nana-o Sammiches, Dad?"
"When Carole comes back you can have regular food again. Until then, eat your breakfast-dinner."
They do that. Sarah eagerly consumes three of the treats. Finn frowns at the flop that is his first sandwich, but follows the young girl's lead and just eats more. Kurt eats like a bird and Puck's stomach is still getting used to food, so they are satisfied with just one each before excusing themselves.
Kurt looks to his dad, wondering if he remembers making the vow to stick to him like glue just that morning, but the man makes no protest.
They reach the basement and pause. This is usually the part where they make out, but that is so not an option for the foreseeable future, so it's just awkward.
After the momentary silence, they both speak at once, Kurt offering, " How about that shower?" and Puck asking, "What happened last night?"
"Shower first?" Kurt requests.
Kurt's already closing off and it disappoints Puck.
Upon seeing that written on Puck's face, Kurt compromises, "Or, bath during?"
"You're cool with that?"
"I'm gonna' have to admit to it at some point. It might as well be now."
"No, I mean, you're cool with being around a naked dude?"
"Oh. I don't know. I think so."
Reasonably, Puck looks unconvinced.
"Well, I haven't tried. If I can't handle it, I'll leave. No harm in trying."
Puck's pretty sure there can be a lot of harm in trying, but arguing with Kurt never got him anywhere, so he just shrugs and walks into the bathroom. Kurt follows and remains perfecty calm as Puck undresses. He starts the water, plugs the drain, and makes himself comfortable on the toilet seat.
Puck hesitates when he's just in his boxers.
"Did it shrink?"
"Huh?"
"Did your dick turn green and now you're afraid to show me?" He's teasing him. Kurt is teasing him, and that's pretty normal, so he must be okay.
A smug smile in place, Puck slides the underwear off and stands bare before Kurt.
Kurt looks thoughtful for a moment, then smiles, "I'm fine."
Puck steps into the water and groans, "I really needed this."
Kurt grabs a washcloth, wets it, and lathers it with exfoliating body wash. He rubs it over Puck's back, massaging the grime away in tiny cirlces and eliciting another groan. Kurt takes his time on the shoulders, arms, chest, and stomach, loving how easily he can make Puck feel good, comfortable, happy.
"Dunk your head in the water so I can wash your hair."
Puck hasn't groomed in a while, so there's actually hair. He does as he's told, always having loved Kurt's fingers on his scalp.
Kurt hands over the washcloth to let Puck finish scrubbing at his lower half and, assuming Puck doesn't want his head to smell like magoes, squirts some of Finn's two-in-one shampoo and conditioner onto Puck's stubby locks. He starts gently, covering the hair in suds, then rubs them deep into the scalp as Puck moans his appreciation.
Kurt leans Puck's head back. Protecting the jock's eyes with one hand, Kurt fills a cup and pours it over the soapy hair until all the bubbles are cleansed.
Kurt sits back on his heels and nibbles on his lip. He hadn't meant for the ministrations to be a stall tactic, but they worked as such, and now there's nothing left to do but...
"So, you gonna' tell me what happened last night?"
"Yes." He has to. Noah deserves at least that much. Pushing him away has only hurt him. No more secrets.
"Before the water gets cold?" It's a joke, meant to lighten the mood, and oops, Kurt had been stalling again.
"Yeah, sorry, I..." He might as well just show him. He unfastens his pants and slides them down.
Puck is shocked, not at the injuries because the lowering denim hasn't revealed that yet, but that Kurt is actually stripping in front of him. It's like every Lifetime movie has set up this precedent that Kurt, in typical Kurt fashion, naturally defies. He wants to voice something along these lines, make sure Kurt is really okay with this, but that didn't exactly work out last time, so he just watches. He watches as a large white bandage comes into view.
"Oh my God, are you okay?" Was that from the attack? Puck didn't remember his leg getting hurt. No, it happened last night. Was he attacked again? Oh, God, no one's told him what happened to that bastard. Did he come back? No, not possible. Someone would have told him.
In answer, Kurt carefully peels off the bandage... to reveal cat scratches?
Kurt's looking at Puck expectantly, and Puck isn't sure why, "What... what are those?"
Kurt sighs, 'Why can't this just be over with?' "Last night... I sat in that tub... with a needle..." It's as far as he gets, and it's as far as he needs to.
Puck leaps from the tub, because he really doesn't want to be sitting there anymore, and he needs to make sure Kurt's okay because Kurt wouldn't do this.
Puck's kneeling before him, dripping wet and completely naked and he's just studying those wounds like they can explain themselves, and Kurt is mortified.
Puck reaches out a finger and touches one of the scratches (the first one, the one that started it all) and Kurt hisses in pain.
"I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"
Kurt yanks his pants back up. He wishes he hadn't done that. He wishes he hadn't shown Puck. He wishes he hadn't marred his skin in the first place.
And then, that question: "Why would you do this to yourself?"
He feels himself closing off, knows he wants to close himself off, so he can't explain the words that come forth, "I'm really messed up, Noah!"
"Come here," Puck gently tugs at Kurt's arm until he's curled up in Puck's damp lap.
Kurt grips Puck's shoulders to ground himself as he falls apart.
Puck holds him, close but gentle, and murmurs comfort into his hair, "It's okay. I'm here now. I'll get you through this. I love you. Everything will be okay."
Kurt lets himself believe him. When he's recovered, he feels a desperate need to convince Puck of what he's been trying to get everyone to see. He meets Puck's eyes and vows, "I'm never doing it again."
"I believe you." It's said so easily Kurt trusts he really does believe him.
"Thank you." Kurt is overcome with the feeling of "How Could I Ever Have Let This Man Go?" and it makes him want to cry all over again. Instead of tears, words spill out, straight from the heart, "I'm sorry I messed us up. I shouldn't have pushed you away, or kicked you out. I shouldn't have said I didn't love you; that was so hurtful. I shouldn't have doubted you when you said you loved me. I've just got a lot of issues... that I'm working through."
"Apology accepted."
'Ugh, why does Puck have to be so perfect? I haven't even explained myself yet!' "I let what he said get to my head, that fa-homosexuality is wrong and would end up hurting you." Puck looks like he's about to protest, so Kurt plows on, "I know that was wrong now! Or, at least I'm getting there. I'm seeing a psychologist, Dr. Kymbal, and she says I'm getting there. I still have a lot of stuff to work through, and a lot of stuff I haven't even begun to process, but I'm geting there. I've healed enough to know I love you."
Puck lets the speech settle. He's stll surprised Kurt would open up so much, and no less grateful for being let back into Kurt's life. "Thank you for telling me."
Kurt nods as he relaxes into Puck's hold. He's said enough for now. He's earned a break.
Puck shivers. Poor naked, damp Puck.
"Oh, Noah, we need to get you dressed!" Kurt jumps up, grabs his towel, and tosses it over Puck's shoulders.
After a quick towel-down, Puck wraps the terrycloth around his waist and follows Kurt out of the bathroom.
"Dad!"
Kurt's yelp has Puck following Kurt's eyeline... to Burt stretched out on Kurt's bed watching a muted basketball game on TV.
"I said like glue, Kiddo."
Puck glances down at his state of undress, then back up at the infamously protective Mr. Hummel, and finds he can't move.
"You gonna' put some pants on, Kid?"
That unfreezes Puck. He bursts into Kurt's walk-in closet and shuts the door
Burt shakes his head, "His clothes aren't even in there."
"Dad, we were just talking. Nothing more."
"I know. I heard."
"Oh..." Awkward.
"Look at it this way. Consider today's debriefing covered."
Kurt just nods.
Burt sighs at his son's nervousness, "Kurt, last night, you scared me like you won't ever know. I'm still recovering, and hell, I don't know what I'm supposed to do here. You keep talking, and you come to us when you need help, and you'll earn your privacy back."
It's a fair deal. Kurt actually makes eye contact when he nods this time.
"I'm proud of you for telling Noah. I know that must have been difficult."
Hey, an in, "Dad, I know I'm probably pushing my luck, but since Noah's here, I won't be alone if I sleep down here."
Burt considers the point. He really is just trying to do best by his kid and he really doensn't have an instruction manual. "You've got Sarah"
Sharing a bed with your boyfriend and his sister is awkward. Add to it the knowledge that tonight's probably the night that the nightmares will return, the nightmares about the horrible thing that happened to you that they both witnessed, and you're close to where Kurt's at.
"If you don't get in quick, Sarah's gonna' claim the middle." Puck slips under the sheets on the far side of the bed.
Kurt lies in the midle of the bed, "Won't she want to sleep next to you?"
"Nah, I'm old news."
"But, everything's new tonight. Won't she want that bit of familiarity?"
"Just trust me."
Sure enough, as Sarah descends the stairs, she announces, "I want to sleep next to Kurt!" Puck knows his Bucket.
"There's your spot," Puck points to the other side of the bed.
Sarah hops in, "This is so cool! It's like a sleepover, but with boys!"
"Hey! Don't you be thinking about those just yet."
"I'm not a baby, Noah," the eye-rolling doesn't really help her case for maturity.
"You, Bucket, will always be my baby sister."
Sarah looks like she's about to argue, so Kurt pipes in, "Noah's right. You'll always be our baby sister."
Suddenly Sarah doesn't care about the baby part. The guy whom she has looked up to since Puck first brought him home, since he first taught her how to sew the ripped seem on her favorite shirt, since he fist complimented the color pallet in her room, just called her his sister and she's beaming.
Puck chuckles at how easily his sister falls for Kurt's charms. He'll have to ask for pointers. For now, he just folds his arms around Kurt and spoons him close, "It's good to have you back."
"I missed you."
Sarah looks a little left out, so Kurt opens his own arms until she cuddles into his chest.
It's warm and soft, and the term "Kurt Sandwich with Pucker-bread" comes to Puck's mind. They quickly fall into the most comfortable sleep any of them has had in over a week.
