this chapter is a little short, but i didn't want to lump it with the next chapter because it would've been an INFORMATION OVERLOAD. i liked writing this scene. it was sort of relaxing and gave me a chance to exercise some stoll brother head canons. hopefully you guys will like it, too. it's a small breather before the shit hits the fan ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Connor put his normal sneakers into his bag as spares. He was tempted to practice flying, but there was no space in their hotel room and he didn't want to die by falling off a roof. If he was going to die, it was going to be cool. Getting eaten by a chimera or something.
The more enticing item in the room was the phone. He and Travis had cell phones—though they didn't use them often. Travis might answer his call, even considering the six-hour time difference. Connor sat on the bed, his hands on his knees, debating whether or not to make a move.
Nico made the choice for him by hitting the lights. The room went black.
"Nico," Connor groaned. He was about to get up and turn on the lamp, but Nico stopped him.
"I'm tired and I'm going to sleep," Nico said as he climbed into bed. He worked his way under the covers.
Connor was too conflicted to sleep. He pushed himself back against the headboard. Nico's right. We should rest now so we can be ready for Eros tomorrow. I'll have plenty of time to talk to Travis later. If they survived, of course.
But all he could do was stare into the darkness, focusing on the little red light on the phone cradle. Nico rolled over. Once. Twice.
"What were you going to say earlier?"
He'd almost forgotten about it. The lamia and arson had chased it out of his head. Connor glanced down at Nico. Nico's back was to him, his arm curled under his head. It was a good thing the sheets were white, otherwise Connor wouldn't have been able to spot him at all.
"I thought you wanted to sleep," he said.
Nico huffed and sat up. "I can't stop thinking about it. What were you going to say?"
Connor hadn't wanted to do it this way. He hadn't really wanted to do it in the shop either, but he was getting frustrated and things kind of slipped out. Maybe it was better like this. The lack of light might make Nico feel safer. It certainly calmed Connor's nerves.
"I know," he said. "I know, Nico, and it's okay. You don't have to worry about me. Eros isn't going to reveal anything I'm not already aware of."
"What are you talking about?" Nico's voice came out at a slightly higher pitch.
It was probably best to be blunt. "You're gay."
There was a long, uncomfortable pause. Nico's breathing was shallow. Once he'd collected himself—as much as he could—he said, "H-how could you possibly know?"
"I just do. I have eyes and ears and… I recognized it. You could say I remembered what it was like, figuring all that stuff out."
"What do you mean you recognized….?" Nico trailed off. Silence descended like a curtain between them once again. "You? No."
"Yes. Me."
"That's not possible."
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true."
"This is not the time or the place," Nico growled.
"I couldn't resist."
Nico didn't say anything for a few minutes. He was probably seething with rage. Connor wondered if he should have waited to tell him or said it earlier. Anyway, it was out now. At least there'd been no risk of Nico laughing at him. Travis had laughed at first, then said, "Yeah, I know. I'm your brother. Of course I know."
"How many people have you told?" Nico finally asked.
"A couple. It's not really relevant in most conversations."
"Travis?"
"Yeah. And Percy. That one kind of slipped out on accident. I think he said something like, 'hey, is it just me or does Miranda Gardiner like you?' and I said, 'that's too bad because I'm into guys.' Like, woops!" Connor laughed.
"What did he say?"
"Just 'oh. Cool.' It wasn't a big deal."
Nico went quiet again. Then he muttered, "How is it not a big deal?"
"It just isn't for me. Then again, I've had more time to adjust. I'll bet if you talked to me from four years ago, he'd probably say different. Also, I wasn't born in the thirties, so…"
"I wish I could be like you."
"No you don't."
"Okay, I wish I could be kind of like you. Stuff that bothers me doesn't bother you."
"There's tons of stuff that gets to me. The trick is not to show it. You do that well."
"Are… are there others at camp?"
"Yeah, probably. I haven't asked."
"I thought it was just me."
Connor patted Nico's shoulder. He hoped it was comforting. He knew Nico tended to bristle. "Now you know better. You don't have to be ashamed. No one is going to treat you any different because of it."
"People already treat me differently. I think the reason you don't think it's a big deal is because you have tons of friends who accept you without thinking. You're not… isolated." It sounded like it hurt to say.
"I didn't always have that," Connor said. "I understand what it's like to be on the outside."
Nico's fist came down on the mattress. "No, you don't! You've always had family. You've got your brother and Cabin 11 and the rest of the campers. They don't look at you strangely because of your father. They don't ignore you when you walk into a room. Stop pretending you understand my situation and admit that you don't know!"
It took a long time for Connor to speak. He had thought about this for a while. Whenever he began this story in his head, he stopped himself, because he was afraid. He was afraid to disillusion Nico or anyone else.
"Actually," Connor said, choosing his words carefully, "when Travis and I first came to Camp Half-Blood, we didn't talk to anyone else for almost three months. I was six and he was seven."
Nico said nothing.
"Our mom pulled us out of kindergarten so we could go. We were both really mad about it at the time. She wouldn't tell us anything. She kept saying stuff about our dad, how we were special and that it was dangerous to be special, but we didn't get it. We were just a couple of dumb kids.
"When we got there, Chiron showed us the video, told us who we were, and we got set up in Cabin 11. It was crowded back in those days, too. We didn't want to live there. Mom said that she'd come get us when it was time, but she didn't know when that would be. So we were going to stay at camp indefinitely."
Connor heard a small intake of breath. He wondered what Bianca and Nico had been told when they were taken to the Lotus Hotel and Casino. He continued.
"Travis and I kept to ourselves. Camp was cool, but we wanted to go back home. We wanted our mom. Even though we knew it was dangerous out there, we missed our old friends and after a while we started to miss school, too. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess. I think I hated camp and everyone in it at some point."
"What changed?"
Connor shrugged. "Once you've been on the same capture the flag team with someone enough times, you get to know them. Eventually we realized that it wasn't just me and Travis against the world. There were lots of kids like us in camp. It got a lot easier to be ourselves."
"I can't imagine you hating Camp Half-Blood."
"I'm not surprised. I have a hard time remembering why I felt that way, too. Not everyone is as nice as we are. Every place has bullies and backstabbers. Cabin 11 was full of them. Including Luke." Connor's hands curled into fists. "The first time we met him, I knew we couldn't trust him. But he was our counselor and we didn't want to say anything. It's not like we had proof."
"He was your brother."
"That's exactly why we didn't trust him. You're right about us, Nico. We Hermes kids are a shifty bunch."
"That's not…"
"Until we stopped being pricks, people used to say really nasty stuff about us behind our backs. Our pranks were a lot meaner back then." When Nico didn't ask about it, Connor added, "I knew Athena kids are terrified of spiders. I put a tarantula in Annabeth's bed anyway."
"Oh."
"She kicked my ass for that. I learned an important lesson. Anyway, as vindictive as we were, it turns out I like people. It was kind of overwhelming taking over Cabin 11, but I'm glad Travis and I are in charge. It's a good gig. That's how I met you."
"When did your Mom come back?" Nico sounded a little flustered.
"I was ten, I think. She put us back in the public school system. That wasn't fun. Luckily, the Athena cabin helped us catch up."
"They did that for you?"
"Why not? We're family."
Nico shifted. Connor felt the mattress dip. "I think you use that word too easily. They don't really count."
"It's not all about blood. Percy's your cousin, but what makes him your family isn't the fact that your dads are brothers. Love does that. I know you get what I'm talking about."
"That's—!"
"There are lots of different kinds of love, Nico." Connor held up his glowing wrist. "Not just this. For instance, I care about you a lot."
"Stop. That's enough. You made your point."
Connor chuckled. "What I'm trying to say is that while I don't know exactly what you've been through, we've all got our stories. I might not be able to totally understand, but I can get close."
"How do I know you're not making all this up just to make me feel better?"
"I don't lie about this kind of thing. You should know me well enough by now to tell the difference."
Connor waited while Nico processed the night's confessions. Secretly, Connor hoped Nico would open up as well, just to balance the relationship, but he knew it was wrong to expect something in return. If Nico didn't want to talk, Connor wouldn't pressure him.
"I'm tired. I'm gonna turn in," Connor said. He lay down on his side. The pillow smelled nice. Connor listened as Nico also reclined.
"Connor?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. I've never talked about this with anyone besides Bianca. You're… a really good counselor."
Connor smiled into the pillow. "Aw shucks, you're making me blush."
Nico's voice became harsh again, though it was dulled by fatigue. "Go to sleep."
