Disclaimer: I don't own Dr. Horrible.
Read on, oh faithful ones.
...
Act VII, pt. 2 - By any other name
...
Billy barely gave Fury a glance when she entered the laboratory with her maids, despite the fact that she was covered in blood and soot, and parts of her dress were torn and scorched.
"Ira?" he asked, curious despite his overwhelming concern for Penny, who still lay motionless in the cylinder.
"Dead as a doornail," Fury replied, letting out a sigh of contentment. "Penny?"
"No change yet."
"She's not a diamond anymore, at least."
Ask her how it felt to kill Ira. Ask her what she's going to do now, Penny said, looking at Fury with an odd expression on her face, one that Dr. Horrible couldn't hope to name.
"Do you feel better now that Ira's dead?" he asked, getting a surprised nod in return. "So what are you going to do now?"
"Why are you so interested?" Fury asked, suspicious now.
"You've been looking for Ira for years, so I was curious as to what you were going to do now that you've killed him. I doubt I'll be the only one to ask," Billy replied with a shrug.
Fury hesitated for a moment, glancing to the cameras around the room. Dr. Horrible leaned over a screen to press a button on a nearby remote. With a faint whirr, the cameras all dropped forward, the red lights no longer flashing.
"You've got a minute and a half before they go back online."
"I want to go with my maids and keep punishing men," she said, snarling the last word harshly and making Billy flinch in response. "But I only want to punish them if they're worth punishing. I don't want to punish them if they haven't done anything, y'know?"
Sighing in relief, Billy hurried to nod in response. "Yeah, I know what you mean."
That's very interesting, Penny noted, circling around Fury with a frown as she surveyed the damage to her dress from her fight.
"Does it look like there's going to be any change with Penny soon? I need a long bath, a week's worth of sleep, and a new dress," Fury muttered.
"Uh, I'm not sure," Billy said, frowning when he saw the Penny in his head moving over to the cylinder where her body was lying.
He almost cried out for her to stop, not to open the cylinder, but Penny smiled at him brightly over her shoulder and he could only watch as she stepped through the cylinder. She closed her eyes and there was a flash of light as she melted down into her body.
"What was that?" Fury yelped in surprise at the sudden light.
"You... You saw that?" Billy asked.
She didn't have time to answer him, as the machines began beeping loudly, the cameras turned on again, and Dr. Horrible hurried to get everything under control as Penny struggled in the nutrient-filled water cylinder.
"It's all right, Penny. Just calm down. Please, calm down or you're going to have a heart attack," Dr. Horrible called over the noise of the machines. "Damn it, the thing's jammed," he muttered, pressing the large button repeatedly without success.
"Maids, get that thing open," Fury said, and the four women materialised, attacking the cylinder and ripping the door off in a matter of seconds.
"Wow, killing Ira really affected them, didn't it?" Dr. Horrible muttered.
"Of course it did. They've been waiting just as long as I have," Fury said with a shrug, but there was a hint of pride in her tone as she watched them help Penny to sit up gently.
Her body trembling, her hair wet and flattened against her shoulders and face, Penny opened her mouth a few times to say something. Billy stepped forward, cautious and anxious and a whole mix of emotions as he waited for her to get control over her vocal functions enough to talk.
"Is Ira dead?" Penny asked.
Not exactly what he was expecting.
"Yep. As dead as Captain Hammer," Fury said with a wild grin.
"G-good," Penny said, still shivering in the cold water. She turned to Billy, her arms covering her exposed chest. "Get me out of here, Billy buddy?"
"Right. Just give me a minute," he muttered, reaching for the control to empty the cylinder.
A matter of seconds later, Penny was sitting in an empty tub, her arms wrapped around her chest. The maids lifted her onto her feet carefully, the hydraulics still jammed and unable to move the cylinder to an upright position. Billy hurried to wrap his Dr. Horrible suit around her trembling body, leaving him clad in a white shirt and black pants.
"I'll take you down to your room? Kiev'll be happy to see you're awake and probably cook everything in sight," Billy said with a quick grin.
"I just want to sleep. Your apartment's closer," Penny said, swaying on her feet moments before she collapsed.
Blue and New caught her before she hit the floor, and lifted her between them, her arms hanging around their shoulders loosely.
"Well, you heard her: up to your apartment. Chop, chop, Billy boy," Fury said, shooing him towards the door.
Startled, Billy hurried out of the laboratory, New and Blue following with Penny.
"Don't you hurt him, girls!" Fury called as an afterthought.
"Thank you!" Billy called gratefully, his shoulders losing some of their tension.
New shook her head at Blue, who just grinned in response.
...
Penny jumped out of the way of an oncoming ray. She had no idea what the ray would do if it hit her, but considering what had happened the last time one of Dr. Horrible's ray guns had been fired near her, she thought it a necessary precaution.
"You're meant to be helping me get my powers back, not kill me!" she called over her shoulder.
"Now you're just taking all of the fun out of it," Borrowed said, appearing and throwing a handful of incendiary rice at her.
Penny dodged the first few grains, but the others hit with an impact that shook the ground itself, and she fell to her knees, the small explosions making her ears ring.
"All right, I think that's enough, don't you?" Professor Normal's voice rang out over the PA system.
"No, not yet. I haven't turned into flames yet!" Penny protested.
"You've only been awake for three days, Penny, I hardly think that's enough time to get your strength back, let alone whatever dormant fire power you had the first time around," Normal said practically, his head already calculating the low chance of her powers returning after so long, especially considering their unstable nature in the first place.
"Don't say that! I can get the flames back! We just need to try harder!"
"We try any more, and we might kill you. Again... But this time, there'll be no coming back for you. Just go and rest for a while; you can't expect to get better while you're running around in here, can you?"
Penny bristled at being treated like a child, but her annoyance still wasn't enough to set off her flames. "Fine, I'll go rest."
"I'll call Kiev for you," Billy offered, pushing up his goggles after disarming his ray gun.
She smiled brightly and thanked Billy, telling him that she'd meet him back at their apartment. He made some sort of sweet strangled noise, his cheeks reddening when New whistled and Blue made loud and dramatic kissing sounds.
"What on earth are you two doing? Stop fooling around and get back to training. There's a whole lot of bastards out there who are still walking straight. I'm not going shoe shopping for nothing, you know!" Fury called.
New and Blue stopped with their antics, and while they were distracted by Fury, Billy and Penny left the training area.
"You want me to come outside with you?" Billy asked when he saw that she was heading to the back door.
"I'm all right. I'll be upstairs soon," Penny added, leaving before he could ask again.
Jack, Jordan, and Zeke were in the stables, mucking out Bad Horse's area and singing pieces of songs to each other in time with their brooms and pitchforks. Further up in the field Bad Horse was practising his death whinny on a few hapless animals that had the misfortune to wander into his line of sight.
"Hey, Penny. Still can't light up?" Zeke asked, seeing her expression.
"I wish you wouldn't call it that, you make me sound like an incompetent smoker," she muttered. "But no, I can't."
"Thinking about Captain Hammer doesn't help?" Jack asked, sweeping hay and mess out of the stable.
"No, I've tried to think about him and it doesn't do a thing. I guess now that he's dead, there's not much point in being angry over things he did."
"Why not? He still did them; him being dead doesn't change that," Jordan said, looking at her over the stable partition.
His question surprised Penny, but she couldn't answer him, and simply shrugged instead. "No idea, guess I'm just like that. I've tried thinking about everything, and nothing helps."
"Why do you want to go up in flames so bad in the first place? You told Fury Leika that you didn't want to do that, you didn't want to be that," Zeke pointed out.
"I... I made my decision, and I want to stick with it," Penny said, but she sounded uncertain even to her own ears.
"Sure about that?" Zeke asked with a frown, leaning against his broom.
She sighed heavily. "I really don't know."
"A word of advice: make sure that whatever you choose, you won't end up regretting it."
There was a tone to his voice that made her heart go out to him in compassion, and it was that feeling of compassion that made her even more confused about her decision.
"Well, a final bit of advice, and then I'll stop droning on," Zeke said with a grin, despite her protests, "When you choose your name, make sure it's something you can actually pronounce in a hurry. There's no use going by some fancy name that you can't even articulate properly when you're attempting to rob someone."
Penny smiled and thanked him. She turned around to go back inside, even as her mind went through any possible scenario in which she could actually rob someone, with or without her flames. It seemed that all of Penny's anger had dissipated the moment Captain Hammer was no longer in the picture, and she wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that it had.
...
"You can't be the Bloody Diamond. Everyone will think you're in league with Conflict Diamond then, and while he's a fairly good villain, he's not someone you really want to be confused with," Dr. Horrible said, shaking his head.
"Fine. What about Red Heart?" Penny asked, tugging at her red hair briefly.
"All you'll need then is a club and spade, and with Conflict, you'd be a full house!" Fury said, laughing. Her laughter faded at Penny's scowl. "Sorry, not helping..."
"This is so frustrating! You never had to put up with people commenting on your name choices!" Penny groaned.
Fury just laughed again and patted her arm briefly. "You'll think of a name soon enough."
"Remind me again why I can't just stick with Justice?" she muttered.
"Because of the Justice League of Justice," Billy said, his eye twitching.
"Just be lucky that those news choppers were too far away to hear you say that your name was Justice! Anyway, since you're with the E.L.E., you do not want people to associate you with the J.L.J. Especially not at the evil conferences and union meetings." Penny looked surprised at the idea of conferences and meetings, so Fury continued explaining, "They're both a whole shtick done by the Henchmen's Union. No one really cares what's happening, but everyone puts in an appearance just to be seen. It's one of the few times you'll see Hourglass actually mingling with other people," Fury said with a grin. "She does fortune telling for a quick buck - or hundred - and she comes away from those things with a very tidy profit, so I've heard."
"What does that have to do with me choosing a name?"
"Absolutely nothing. Just thought I'd get your mind off of the difficult decision ahead of you," Fury said, grinning again.
"Thanks... I think." Penny sighed heavily and pushed away what was left of her dinner. "I might just go for a walk and try to think of something else. It's hard to think of a name when I don't even have my flames anymore," she muttered, standing and leaving before Fury or Billy could say anything.
Deciding not to burden poor Zeke with her problems again, Penny walked through the E.L.E. headquarters and down to the room she'd first woken up in after coming back from the dead. She pressed the frame of Bad Horse's painting, and the wall slid open so she could walk down the corridor to the room. Penny was somewhat surprised at the feeling of familiarity and reassurance that flowed through her, and sat on the bed, her legs crossed beneath her.
The TV remote was still sitting on the bed, and curious to see the entertainment system for herself, Penny turned it on. The wall slid apart to reveal the large television set, and it turned on, automatically going to the last played channel. The news was just starting, and Penny was surprised to see that one of the upcoming news segments was about the J.L.J. and Captain Hammer.
Her curiosity piqued, Penny sat through three somewhat mundane news segments until Red Dwarf appeared on the screen. As he talked, she felt her hands clench and her body tremble in anger.
"Due to the unfortunate death of Captain Hammer, the world's most beloved hero, the Justice League of Justice - in collaboration with Mayor," he added, giving a nod to the man beside him, " - have decided to erect a statue of Captain Hammer in the town square. A number is at the bottom of your screen to donate money to this worthy cause. We cannot let the future generations of this town forget who Captain Hammer was, and how he saved us time and time again," Red Dwarf said.
The journalists had already started to applaud before he'd even finished talking, and the phone number for donations at the bottom of the screen was so bright that Penny wanted to shield her eyes.
"Hey, Penny. We thought of a name for you! Whoa..." Fury cut off suddenly, her eyes wide at the sight of Penny sitting on the bed, her entire body on fire and the flames reaching the ceiling. "We really should have turned the smoke alarms back on," she mused.
"Oh, wow. How do we stop it?" Billy asked, looking at the flames nervously.
The flames were reaching the TV now, and no one knew what the Evil Librarian would do if her television set was melted.
"Hey, Penny! Think of Billy boy, would you?" Fury called over the roar of the flames.
Blinking a few times, Penny looked over at Fury and Billy. Realising that she was on fire, she yelped in surprise and the flames died down almost immediately.
"They're back?" Penny murmured, looking at her hands in wonder, a large part of her hoping it wasn't a fluke. A Captain Hammer-filled thought later proved that her power had returned, and she shook the flames away with a bright grin.
"Those donations just keep coming! We've already raised ten thousand dollars!" the news anchor said, giving everyone a broad smile.
"What?!"
Penny was outraged - it hadn't even been ten minutes! - and in seconds, she was up in flames again.
"Everyone at the Caring Hands shelter had to work tooth and nail just to get enough money for a week's worth of soup, yet Captain Hammer gets ten thousand dollars for a statue?!" she growled.
"Oh, this is going to be bad," Fury said, sounding delighted.
"Should we get popcorn again?" New whispered to Blue, who just shook her head at her.
Penny attempted to do some breathing exercises that were meant to calm her, but they seemed to be of little use now. She thought of Billy, and the flames actually became worse, rising up to the ceiling and becoming even hotter.
No, she realised belatedly, that wasn't Billy. The man in her mind - with his red Doctor's suit, black gloves, and goggles - was none other than Dr. Horrible. Billy, her Billy buddy, was different. But at the same time, they were the same, just as she was with the person who had defeated Captain Hammer.
As Billy's face surfaced in her mind, the flames around Penny began to lessen once more, and disappeared completely at the thought of his smile. Experimentally, she thought of Dr. Horrible, and the sound of his evil laugh, and the flames appeared once more, hotter and brighter than before. She grinned at Billy and Fury, unaware that her grin was on par with Bad Horse's death whinny.
"Can you call Professor Normal? I want to train," Penny said.
"Never mind Normal; we'll get Dead Bowie. You haven't signed a contract," Fury said with an evil cackle.
Penny wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that, but by Billy's paling face, she figured it wouldn't bode well for Dead Bowie.
...
"Hey, Moist, how's it going?" Billy asked as he opened the door to his friend.
"Bad. It's like an inferno out there," Moist replied, his breathing laboured and his body covered in so much sweat that it was actually dripping off his fingertips.
He waved to Penny briefly, making his way to the kitchen and opening the fridge and freezer doors. There was a low moan of appreciation at the cool temperature, and Billy gave Penny a grin. His grin faded when he saw that she wasn't paying him attention.
"I like that," she murmured.
"Uh, what?" Billy asked, his eye twitching.
"Inferno. That can be my super name," she said, smiling at him brightly.
"Hey, did I just help you choose your name?" Moist asked, coming out of the kitchen with an ice pack on his neck.
"Yeah, you did. Thanks," Penny said warmly.
"Awesome," Moist said, looking exceptionally pleased with himself.
"Whatever," Billy muttered.
"No one else has that name, do they?" Penny asked, looking at Billy, who flushed slightly at the sudden attention.
"No, I've never heard of anyone with that name. Not even a henchman," he admitted.
Moist agreed quickly, listing off a few names that were fire-related but none that sounded the same.
"Now you've just got to choose your outfit, colours, and catchphrase," Moist said with a grin. Then his grin faded, and he leant to Penny to whisper, "Don't let Dr. Horrible help you with the catchphrase."
"I'm right here, Moist. I can hear you," Billy said, glaring at him.
"Oh, in that case... Really don't let him help you with the catchphrase," Moist amended, his voice louder now.
Penny was somewhat overwhelmed at the idea of needing to pick an outfit, colours, and a catchphrase, and didn't seem inclined to reply.
...
Billy paced outside of Fury's apartment, wondering what was taking them so long. It was an outfit, for Bad Horse's sake! It wasn't like they were plotting the end of civilisation as they knew it! He'd been waiting for thirty whole minutes now. He could have been fixing his Freeze Ray, making modifications to his Pulse Gun, or even getting the Transmatter Ray to change the cumin-scented gold back to actual gold bars.
After what felt like hours, the door finally opened. Turning to say something about the time they'd taken to choose one outfit, Billy suddenly lost his ability to talk. Penny was standing in the doorway, her usual shirt and skirt replaced with a slinky red dress, her hair curled and done up, and Billy was fairly sure he was actually drooling at the sight of her.
"Told you you'd knock him dead," Fury said, grinning. "Although, I didn't think it'd be this literal," she added with a frown when Billy didn't move.
"Billy? Are you all right?" Penny asked, stepping forward to him.
Still looking a bit dazed, Billy nodded. He blinked a few times, coughed slightly, and gave her a smile.
"You look stunning," he said, his smile turning into a broad grin.
"Stunning's better than what I was going for," Fury muttered to Blue, who laughed behind her hand.
"Wait until you see this," Penny said, her entire body lighting up a second later courtesy of Dr. Horrible.
The flames disappeared with a thought of Billy, and she grinned brightly when her dress was still on her body.
"It took five different tries to get a material that wouldn't burn to dust the moment she lit up," Fury muttered, shaking her head.
"I didn't particularly want to be known as the Naked Evildoer or something."
"Yeah, he really didn't last long... What?" Fury said when she saw their expressions. "He was a nudist back in the 70s and made people strip when he robbed them. Don't ask where he hid his weapon," she added, shuddering delicately.
"We won't," Billy said quickly, his eye twitching. "So, what would you like to do first? The First American Bank of America has just installed a new security system that we can test out," he offered to Penny, grinning.
"We can arrange an appointment with the Henchmen's Union if you want a henchman already?" Fury offered alternatively.
"Can we go to the Caring Hands shelter? I'd really like to see how everyone's doing," Penny admitted.
"I really don't think they'd handle it well if you showed up when you were meant to be dead," Billy replied apologetically.
She nodded with a sigh. "I thought you'd say something like that."
"We can go," Blue offered, stepping forward with New.
"They don't know who we are," New added with a nod.
"You'd do that for me?" Penny asked in surprise.
They both nodded, smiling brightly. When Fury gave a nod, New and Blue disappeared.
"Come on, let's go somewhere we can talk while those two are gone," Fury said, looping her arm through Penny's.
She started to hum the wedding march softly, her steps purposeful as she guided Penny down the hallway.
Billy stayed where he was, uncertain as to whether their talk would include him or not.
"Coming, Billy buddy?" Penny called over her shoulder.
He hurried after them, trying not to grin too broadly.
When they were all seated in Fury's apartment, she gave a nod to Borrowed and Old, and the two women seemed to shimmer before their eyes. They stepped through the apartment in a quick succession, their hands reaching into the walls and heads ducking into doors to look into adjoining rooms.
"What are they doing?" Billy asked, staring at the two bridesmaids in abstract horror.
Fury just smiled and didn't answer. When Old and Borrowed returned, taking seats across from her, she looked at Billy and answered his question. "They were double checking your room for bugs, hidden cameras, and other technologies designed for spying on people."
"I already did that," he replied indignantly.
"The bugs and cameras are changed every other night. I told you the E.L.E.'s evil, not stupid. Do you really think Bad Horse would let you stay in the E.L.E. Headquarters if he didn't have a close eye on you? Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer," Fury quoted the old adage.
"Enemy?" Billy echoed in confusion. " But I'm not... I could never... He's Bad Horse!"
"Exactly, and we're all villains. With the possible exception of Penny, we all have our own agendas that we want to fill. I joined the E.L.E. for its resources so I could find Ira. You joined so you could rule the world. Tie-Die joined up so she could hide from the happy people in the world; Professor Normal joined so he could get away from his boring life and have somewhere else to experiment and create his cyborg self; Dead Bowie joined for whatever reason; and I'm fairly sure Fake Thomas Jefferson joined because of Dead Bowie, or perhaps it was the powdered wigs," Fury mused, grinning.
"Your point?" he asked.
"My point is that if we didn't have Bad Horse to lead us on the E.L.E., then all of us would be bickering and fighting for his top position. Therefore, because we're all villains of such a high calibre, he wants to keep us close to him under the guise of him leading and uniting us as evildoers, when infact all he wants to do is make sure that we're not planning a revolt against him."
"That's a highly thought-out conspiracy, Fury," Billy muttered, not entirely convinced of her argument.
"I know. I've had a lot of time to watch things here while I waited between each of my searches for Ira," Fury said, shrugging.
"So what do you plan on doing about it?" Penny asked, looking between them. "I don't know about you, but I really don't think that Bad Horse is going to let you rule the world, Billy buddy."
"I've already found and disposed of Ira, so I'm thinking of going freelance," Fury admitted.
"I don't think I'm evil enough to be on the Evil League of Evil," Penny said quietly, trying not to look at Billy, knowing that she'd see his disappointment. "But I'm not as good and happy as I was, so it's not like I'd be able to go to the Justice League of Justice either... I don't really know what to do."
"Put the power in different hands."
Billy's whispered words made both women turn and stare at him.
"Did I just hear you correctly, Dr. Horrible?" Fury asked incredulously. "You want to challenge Bad Horse's reign?"
"I-I-I..." Billy stammered, not entirely sure what he meant.
He'd wanted to be on the Evil League of Evil for years! For years upon years! And now he was talking about overthrowing Bad Horse?! What on earth was wrong with him?
"We're not strong enough to do that. Not yet, at least," Penny added.
"What do you suggest then?" Fury asked her, seeing that Billy still seemed to be in some sort of shock.
"We create our own League. Not quite justice, not quite evil, but somewhere in-between," Penny said firmly, looking between them for their response.
Billy was still trying to wrap his head around the whole situation, but Fury looked intrigued.
"I think I could do that. I'd be able to punish men for being evil bastards, but I wouldn't have to kill them all of the time. Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of a silk and tulle wedding dress?" she muttered, looking down at her gown.
Penny grinned at her. Then she turned to Billy, her grin fading quickly. "What do you think, Billy buddy?"
He looked at her for a moment, scrutinising her, and suddenly wishing that he had Hourglass' power of foresight. Billy would know in a moment whether this would be a good idea, how it would end (he knew that he wouldn't be able to handle it if Penny died on him for a third time), and what would happen to the world if they actually went through with this. There was no sudden epiphany, no image from the future to help him determine the present, and Billy swallowed forcibly. Was he willing to walk away from everything that he'd longed for and worked towards for so hard over the years? Was he willing to follow Penny away from it all, to put his life, his horrible-ness, his everything good and bad, in her hands? Did he trust her that much?
"I'll do it," Dr. Horrible said, his words surprising, but it was his firm and certain tone that had him surprised the most.
Delight filled Penny's face and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him eagerly.
Well, if this was the way he got thanked, he'd have to do things like that more often, he thought, trying not to grin too broadly against her lips.
"All right, you two, untangle your tongues before you make Borrowed sick," Fury muttered. "It's all well and good to say that we'll do this, but we don't have any money, or a building to set this up in."
"There's a building on the edge of town. The Caring Hands Homeless Shelter were going to use it for their building, but deemed it too far on the outskirts to be useful. It might be good if we're planning on doing this," Penny suggested.
"Sounds good. Now, what about money?"
"I've got a few bags of cumin. Just give me until the end of the week, and they'll be gold bars again," Dr. Horrible promised, still floating after Penny's kiss.
Neither one was quite sure what he meant, but Penny and Fury nodded anyway.
"Now, to think of a name," Penny mused.
"How about the Evil League of Justice? It's a mix between the two, so why not use their own names? We could be called Karma for short," Fury said, grinning.
"Have you thought about this before?" Billy asked, raising his eyebrow at her.
"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer, Billy boy."
"Which means yes," he muttered.
Fury just grinned and let his comment slide. For now. They had work to do, people to bribe, buildings to buy, and henchmen to recruit.
...
End of Act VII.
Thank you for reading; I hope you liked it!
