A/N: Shorty chapter buuuut… I think you'll like it.


Jasper woke up to the pleasant sensation of fingers running through his hair. He sighed and blinked at the sunlight filtering in from the gap in the curtains. The hands stopped, and Jasper's vision focused.

Edward was on his bed.

Jasper sat up, startled and confused. He skittered back, away from Edward, sure that he'd done something wrong. He must have crossed some line. "I'm sorry."

"Whoa. Jasper, calm down." Edward grinned and sat up on his bed. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Still sure he was missing something, Jasper reached out and touched a tentative hand to Edward's cheek, testing see if he was real. "Edward? What are you doing here?" More awake now, he tried to orient himself. His eyes were sore as though…

Oh. Right. Peter. Jasper's heart gave a hard twist. Jasper didn't like having to comfort his friends because it meant his friends had been hurt. Being the one who hurt them was a thousand times worse.

His head snapped up as he remembered the rest of his night. He remembered a lot of tears and Edward…

He'd told Edward. He hadn't meant to, but he had.

"Sorry to wake you," Edward said. "My curiosity got the best of me. You should be glad I'm not Emmett. He used to wake me every Christmas morning by pouring ice cold water in my ear."

"I think you've told me that story before." Jasper rubbed the back of his neck and drew himself up to sit cross-legged. "What are you curious about? What was so important you couldn't wait for, I dunno, breakfast?"

Edward shoved his hands in his ever-present hoodie and hunched his shoulders. "I feel like…I don't know. I feel like Sleeping Beauty."

"You feel like a Disney princess?"

"No." Edward smirked. "I feel like I've been asleep for years. You know I was trying to remember Emmett's wedding the other day? I know I was there. I remember being there, but I don't remember any details. My brother's wedding, Jasper. One of the biggest days of his life." He rocked back and forth just once. "I was supposed to be his best man. Did you know that? We always talked about it when we were growing up. We used to be close."

He shook his head. "Sorry. I'm getting off subject. The point is, I may as well have been asleep. I missed a lot. I don't know how, but I missed so much. It scares me because how long have you been dealing with this on your own?"

Jasper clenched his hands on his knees. He forced a laugh. "You make it sound like I've been suffering."

"But that's exactly my point. Maybe you were. Maybe you are, and I've been sitting here, oblivious and useless."

"I'm not suffering. I wasn't suffering before, and I'm not now. You don't have to worry about me."

"Yeah, I do. I should. You worry about me all the time."

"That's different."

"Why?"

"Because…" Jasper couldn't finish his sentence. He didn't want to have that fight, not right then. Despite his nervousness about where Edward was going with this conversation, Jasper was thrilled. His friend hadn't been this focused in years. Jasper was used to long silences, to Edward trailing off in the middle of a sentence. Edward still scrambled for words, but he was more present than he had been in a long time. "It's not a big deal. I'm a pretty happy guy."

Edward raised his head to fix Jasper with a look. "Right. Not a big deal. You said Alice figured out you were gay, that you didn't want to tell her. You were in the closet. Maybe you were happy, but that is a big deal."

"It really isn't. Nothing happened. I just… I wasn't thinking about it, that's all." He shook his head. "Come on, Edward. It's too early for this."

"Yeah. I just… I want to know. I want to know all the things I missed." He loosed his hand from his hoodie pocket and rested it over Jasper's tense fingers. "Never mind. Last night obviously sucked for you, and I shouldn't be pouncing on you now. You wanted breakfast, right? Let me make you breakfast."

"I, um… You don't have to. I could pick up-"

"I'm going to do this. If I were you, I'd tell me what you want to eat or I'm just going to make whatever I want."

"Whatever you feel like."

"Fish heads. I feel like fish heads."

Jasper snorted. "Fine. Fish heads."

Edward grinned and headed for the door, leaving Jasper staring in his wake.

~0~

For four years, Jasper had wished and hoped and prayed to every higher power he could think of for something, anything, to bring Edward out of the dark place he was falling further into. Bit by bit, pieces of his best friend fell away, until Jasper was shocked to find how little was left. If anyone had asked him, there wasn't much Jasper wouldn't give to bring Edward back to himself.

It was a careful-what-you-wish-for situation. Edward seemed to fit four years worth of questions into one week. Jasper figured out early he'd come to depend on Edward being spaced out. That week, he noticed everything.

At least, he noticed everything about Jasper. He was still twitchy and bone tired when he came home from work. He still had lapses of memory-he asked Jasper four separate times what Alice would like for Christmas for instance. It was as though Jasper's sexuality had become the focus of his limited energy.

"Jasper?" he asked when they sat down to dinner Friday night.

"Hmm?" Jasper didn't look up from the background research his new job had sent over for him to get acquainted with before he started in another two weeks.

"You said if Alice hadn't pushed you to go out with Peter, you probably wouldn't have."

"Yeah, who knows. I told you already, I wasn't thinking about it. Dating, I mean."

"How long have you known?"

"How long have I known what?"

"That you were gay."

Jasper put down his paperwork. His throat tightened. "Does it matter?"

"It matters to me. I was just thinking. It doesn't sound like it's new to you. The way you talk about it." He shifted to bring his feet up on the chair and wrapped his arms around his knees. "I remember what it was like, figuring it out for myself. It wasn't so calm."

Jasper watched him carefully. He wondered if Edward knew how much his body language changed when his thoughts began to wander anywhere near Aro. "You never told me that. It seemed to come so naturally to you."

"Did it?"

"Yeah. I was intimidated."

"What? Why?

"Because I'd been grappling with it for a while at that point, and-"

"What?" Edward balked. "Jasper… that was ages ago. That was Freshman year."

Jasper snapped his mouth shut, realizing belatedly he'd said too much. "Uh. Yeah."

"So you knew before then?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

Jasper shoved away from the table. "Dammit, Edward. It was forever ago."

"When?"

"There's such a thing as privacy."

Edward flinched backward. "From me?" He winced. "No. Nevermind. That's not fair. You're right."

Jasper sat back down and slumped forward on the table, his head on his arms. He mumbled into his shirt.

"What?" Edward asked.

Jasper raised his head. "High school. I kind of had it figured out in high school."

"Oh." Silence stretched between them for eons. "I wish you had told me."

Before Jasper could figure out what to say, Edward unwound himself. "Bella brought me a new puzzle today. You want to try it? It's a crazy amount of pieces."

Jasper laughed. His shoulders sagged with relief. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

~0~

"It was high school for me too," Edward said apropos of nothing. It was still Friday night, almost midnight. They'd both had a few beers.

"What?" Jasper blinked. He'd been about to nose-dive right into drowsy, so he was sure he missed something.

"Um. When I figured out I was gay. I was in high school too."

Jasper twisted his head to look at his friend. "Why didn't you tell..." He rolled his eyes. "Right. Pot, kettle. Forget I almost asked." He drained the last of his beer. "Anyway. So what was it that made you realize? Was it the locker room? I have to tell you, if it was the locker room, I might have to judge you a bit. The pick of the Forks High litter was… well… me."

"It was you."

Sure he'd heard wrong, Jasper gave a his head a hard shake. "What?"

Edward laughed, but it was a thin sound. He pushed himself into the corner of the couch. "It was you. I… I guess in Senior year, I started crushing on you."

Jasper stared.

"I mean…" Edward laughed again, that same high-pitched, uncomfortable giggle. He began to trip over his words. "I mean, I guess it was the most obvious thing to do, right? We'd been friends forever. I think, I mean, I like you. Obviously. We couldn't be such good friends if I didn't. And like you said, you're… I mean, you know you're good looking." He huffed and he drew his legs up. He made himself smaller, like he did when he talked about Aro. "You know what. Forget about it. Let's forget-"

"No." Jasper reached out to touch Edward's leg. He squeezed and rubbed his thumb over his friend's knee. "I was surprised, that's all."

But the effect of embarrassment and vulnerability had taken hold of Edward. He ducked his head. "I shouldn't have said anything. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable."

"You're not making me uncomfortable. Come on, look at me, Edward." Jasper tried to catch Edward's gaze, but he was pulling away too quickly. He'd come so far in the last week alone, Jasper was desperate to keep him from backsliding. "I… I had a crush on you, too."

Edward's eyes found his. "What?"

Jasper swallowed hard. His heart twisted as though it was unsure whether to gallop ahead or stop beating altogether. "That's how I knew. That's why I couldn't tell you. Because it was you."

They stared at each other. Edward brushed his hand through his hair. Then, Edward folded in on himself. "Oh."

"Edward… I don't… It doesn't mean… I mean, don't let this-"

"No. No, it's okay." Edward's voice was soft. He tilted his head up, and his eyes were pained. "I just… I can't help but wonder."

"Wonder what?"

He dropped his gaze. "What would have happened if either one of us had said something then?"

Jasper scooted closer, testing the waters. When Edward didn't pull away, he put his arm around his shoulders. "You have no idea how much I wish I'd told you then."

When Edward looked up again, their faces were close, so close. Jasper's breath caught. He wanted to move, but he was too afraid. Right then, there was equal money on him kissing his best friend as putting some space between them.

Edward swallowed hard. "Jasper?" His voice was reedy, but not in that thin, heartbreaking way. His eyes searched Jasper's face.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you try dating anyone all these years?"

"I, um… Huh?" Jasper's thoughts were thick. The air around them was heady, and he was confused. This wasn't what he was used to.

Edward wound his finger around the hanging tendril of Jasper's shirt. "You said you didn't think about it? Why?"

"Oh. Uh… I…"

But before Jasper could even try to muster a half-assed answer, Edward surged forward. Jasper let out a cry of surprise as Edward kissed him. He froze, thrown into a surreal world. Was this really happening? But then Edward's lips pressed again, tentative but searching. Jasper whimpered and kissed him back, the movement just as tentative.

As quickly as it began, Edward broke their kiss. He lowered his head and panted hot breaths against Jasper's neck. It took Jasper a few blissed out seconds to figure out Edward was shaking. It was a small tremor, but it was there. His heart twisted. What had he done?

But he hadn't done it. He never would have. As much as he wanted to, he never would have. He smacked his lips. Beer flavored kisses.

"Edward," he started, but he didn't know what to say.

"Shh." Edward took a shaky breath, but he rested his head against Jasper's shoulder. His hand rested lightly on Jasper's upper leg. "Can we… just like this? For a minute?"

Hope sparked at the center of Jasper's chest. He stroked his hand up and down Edward's arm. "Yeah. Yeah, as long as you want."


A/N: So! That happened.

Many thanks to the usual suspects for all their help.

Good? Bad? Thoughts?