June: rose: 3:40 a.m.
Rose
I was in my room not yet asleep when I felt someone come into my room. I smelled alcohol and karen's perfume.
"i need to punish you," she said when she approached my bed.
"um. What?" I asked in disbelief.
"i need to punish you. So you dont end up like ashley or hannah. So you don't start doing. Drugs."
"but i'm not. I. I haven't. I don't even smoke weed."
"no you drink like lily and that other one that's right."
"louisa."
I didn't understand why karen felt she needed to punish me when i'd done nothing to be punished for. Well nothing she'd mentioned anyway.
"if you ever think about shooting up. You'll remember the pain my nails have caused. And I always have sharp nails," karen said digging them into my arms: "this is a lesson. Remember this. I'm trying to keep you safe."
"by hurting me."
"yes. Now you're catching on."
