Chapter 9
Pucca blinked her eyes open. It was early morning and the sunlight was filtering through her eyelids. Her eyes wandered around her room, wondering what woke her up.
A knock sounded on her door. "Pucca?" a voice called out.
She pushed aside blanket and looked down at herself to see if she was decent. She was wearing a clean white shirt and shorts. Someone must've changed her clothes again when she was unconscious. Somehow, she wasn't as upset as she had been the first time this happened. She knew it was Lori who changed her.
"Come in," Pucca replied, pushing herself upright and leaning on the headboard.
The door opened to reveal Lori, along with Jian, carrying a tray of food. "Good morning!" Lori greeted cheerfully. "I brought you your breakfast. Jian said you weren't feeling very well after last night. I trust you're feeling better after your rest?" Lori asked, looking concerned.
"Um, yeah…" Pucca replied awkwardly, finding it hard to look at Lori's trusting worn face. "Thank you."
Jian took the tray from Lori and whispered something to her that Pucca didn't catch. Lori nodded and after excusing herself to Pucca, exited out the room.
Pucca eyed him curiously. He looked impeccable and composed as ever in his crisp navy blue polo, black jeans and slick black hair. But the tension in his lanky frame told her differently.
Jian sat on her bed and placed the tray in front of her. "Have something to eat. It'll make you feel better."
"Thanks," she mumbled. She didn't really feel hungry as she eyed the stack of pancakes, dripping with syrup and the glass of orange juice. But she picked up her knife and fork anyway.
Pucca ate silently, all the while, avoiding Jian's curious brown eyes. She kept eating. If her mouth was busy masticating, maybe he won't expect her to keep talking.
"You know, it would be easier to for you if you tell me first what happened, right?"
No such luck.
Pucca sighed. She didn't need to ask what he was talking about.
She knew she should tell someone what happened but she found that her shock had barely worn off yet. It was hard to grasp what just happened, let alone articulate it.
"I-I think I was drugged," Pucca stammered.
Jian didn't look surprised, "I gathered that much. Tobe had first told me his suspicions and I agreed with him after I checked up on you."
Pucca lifted the tray from her lap and placed it on her bedside table. She lost her appetite anyway.
"Someone shot me with a dart. I-I think it was one of Tobe's men." Pucca's eyes closed at the memory of a ninja donned in black shaking her and slapping her awake.
Where are they, you little bitch?! Where'd you hide them?"
His dark brows furrowed in confusion. "I think you should start at the beginning…"
Pucca told him about going to the forest with the intention of finding the bunkhouse. Then she told him everything that happened after that. Jian was quiet the entire time, letting her finish her story.
"I don't profess to know what the hell is going on but I'm pretty sure these are all connected with your plan to go here in the first place," he concluded after she was finished talking. "Have you remembered anything at all that could shed some light about that?" He looked at her hopefully.
Pucca's heart plummeted as she shook her head.
"Wait, right here," he said getting up. "I asked Lori to tell Tobe to give us time to talk before he barges in. I'll go get him and tell him everything you told me so he'll have a grasp of what we're dealing with. Then we'll come back here and sort this all out, alright? You just continue your breakfast."
"No, I—," She bit her lip. "I'll come with you." She slid down the bed and walked towards Jian. She knew he was just very protective in nature and always had the best intentions but she didn't need him to cushion the blow. She wasn't a coward to hide behind others from the consequences of her actions.
Jian looked at her worriedly. "Are you sure? I'm not at all sure how Tobe would react when he sees you. He was clearly very upset last night but I don't know if that spells good news or bad news for you right now. You still need your rest and I don't want you two having one of your heated rows."
She didn't know what was going on through Tobe's mind and she didn't know if she'd still be unscathed after facing him. But right now, she wasn't thinking about that. At that moment, she just wanted to see him and explain what happened. Hopefully, he was going to forgive her. "I'm going."
Tobe was in the library and when they strolled inside, she saw him standing by the window. His hands were thrust in his pockets and he had his back to them.
Jian closed the door behind them audibly but Tobe didn't even turn to acknowledge them.
"Tobe," Jian called out but received no reply. He continued anyway. "Pucca's with me."
Still no reply.
It's worse than I thought, Pucca thought anxiously.
The tension radiated off him like waves but he remained motionless. It was as if a little push would send him over the edge and he was fighting for control by a thread.
Something cold and heavy seemed to drop at the pit off her stomach. Pucca shivered.
But after being upset about my welfare last night, he wouldn't just kill her right? Right?
"I would think that," Tobe's voice startled her from her trance-like state. She looked up at him and saw that he was still staring out the window, his back to them, "you would be more sensible and avoid me for the time being," he continued threateningly.
Pucca's breath hitched on her throat but she willed her voice to sound composed. "You should know me better than that."
He laughed darkly. There was no trace of humor in the sound. "I don't know you at all."
Hurt lanced through her chest. "Yes, you do…" her voice trailed off.
Pucca strode over to him, her steps shaky but determined. She stopped a few feet behind him. "One mistake and you're back to thinking the worst of me again? How about all these weeks we shared? Don't they mean anything to you?"
"I never trusted you that much in the first place." Tobe took out a hand from his pocket and leaned them on the windowframe. He was still staring out the window, at the stretch of forest just outside. "But you know that already."
Tobe was obviously trying to pick a fight and Pucca wasn't one to back down from one. She knew she should ignore the pain in her chest and say some stinging retort, but when she opened her mouth, all that escaped her was a hurt gasp, "Tobe… " Damn him for making her feel this way! "So you think I'm still planning something behind your back?! What is it? You think I drugged myself for some sort of plan? That's stupid!"
"Jian," Tobe called over his shoulder. Jian had been silently watching the exchange, a curious glimmer in his eyes. "Leave. I wish to talk to this woman alone," he said harshly.
This woman? "I have a name," Pucca retorted. Oh, that's right. Pucca isn't even my real name. She felt her chest hollow. Damn him. Just… damn him!
"Tobe, Pucca's still recovering. I'm here to make sure you don't cause her unnecessary stress," Jian said calmly.
"I said get out."
"No." Jian crossed his arms stubbornly.
"Now." Pucca saw Tobe clench his fist, his knuckles white with tension.
Pucca turned to face Jian. "Jian, you should go," she told him apologetically. "I can take care of myself." The last thing she wanted was for the two friends to fight because of her.
"But Pucca…"Jian started, his eyes concerned. "Maybe we should do this another time, when you're ready. You should take it easy for now. Let me deal with Tobe."
"No, I'll deal with Tobe. I- I'm ready. I can handle him," she said uneasily. The object of their conversation scoffed sardonically.
Jian sighed and shook his head. "Pucca, you lie horribly." Pucca turned beet red. "But It's your call. "
"Stop talking and just get out," Tobe gritted out.
Jian rolled his eyes. "If you two need me, I'll be checking on Tara in her room. But I'll be right back soon after."
Pucca's eyes followed Jian a tad enviously since he got out before Tobe truly showed his temper. Unlike her. She could swear that the temperature dropped the moment the door clicked shut.
Pucca turned to look at Tobe. He was already facing her. His face was shadowed but there was a wild, dangerous glitter in his eyes that made her involuntarily step back.
"Scared, Pucca?" Tobe asked, his voice low and ominous.
Irked at the question, Pucca narrowed her eyes angrily at him. "Definitely not."
She involuntarily stiffened as Tobe walked passed her. She whirled around to see him sit on the brown leather couch behind her.
"Good. Then you won't mind if you sit beside me." He said as he patted on the space beside him. The dangerous atmosphere surrounding him didn't fade one bit. There was a challenging, almost suggestive tone to his voice. He was deliberately trying to unnerve her. So yes, she did mind being so near him. Though, she'd sprout an extra limb before she'd tell him that.
She sat at the farthest end of the couch, away from him. Fortunately, he didn't comment, only stared at her with a shadowed expression. When he didn't speak right away, she realized he was waiting for her to speak.
"Tobe… I can explain why I was out there," she started though his expression didn't change. "I- I wanted to speak to them about what happened. Though I know you realized that much, I also planned to apologize for what happened. I know they were only doing their jobs so whatever I was thinking back then, no matter how I looked at it, I was wrong.
"I tried to find them, but I couldn't. I was deep in the woods when I felt someone following me. I called out to whoever it was but then they shot at me. I just ran and ran, I didn't know where I was going anymore. I was getting dizzy and my vision was getting blurry." Pucca swallowed. She debated if she should tell him more. About the black-suited ninja who was trying to find something from her. "I passed out and that was when you found me." Well, if he doesn't trust me and still consider me a threat, how can I trust him in return? I should keep some secrets to myself.
"Tobe, I obviously believe whoever it was that did this was your ninjas, or one of them. Maybe, they hate me for what I did. That's why…"
"It's not them," he responded bluntly.
"How could you be so sure? Who else could it be?" It irked her that he was willing to defend his men despite evidences against them but he was so ready to accuse her of being guilty.
"Because they're not here."
"What do you mean?"
"Have you seen them anywhere?" he asked her condescendingly.
"Well, no… but I thought that… we're not supposed to see them or something. I thought it was because of Tara that they had to keep a low profile," she was feeling more and more like an idiot with each word that came out of her mouth. "Oh, what should I know if you don't tell me anything?!" she finished huffily.
He crossed his arms as he gazed at her. "Even if they had to keep a low profile, don't you think Tara would still be hiding in her room instead of gallivanting outside? It would take more than your coaxing to get her out of there if she believed my men were out to harm her. Something I still don't believe."
Pucca stilled. "You mean Tara knew the ninjas were gone?"
"Yes." His lips barely moved as if he was more focused on piercing her with his gaze. "The morning before I left for the city, I left a note for Tara indicating I had left and had taken my men with me. They were too weak to do their job properly here anyway so I told them to convalesce back in their homes. I planned to just replace them but I finally decided to concede to Tara's wish."
Pucca looked at him curiously. "I thought you needed them to keep her safe."
"It is ultimately my job to protect her but I can't have her feeling like a self-imposed prisoner in her own house." He took on a determined expression. "I will keep an eye on her myself son I don't have to sacrifice her happiness for her safety."
They were silent for a moment, with Pucca thinking and Tobe just waiting for her to speak again.
"What do you think happened?" she asked thoughtfully.
"You tell me," Tobe responded darkly scowling at her.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Pucca frowned at him. "You think I'm responsible for all of this?"
"When I found you lying there on the ground I—," he seemed to choke then he cleared his throat. "I saw you clutching a dart. I thought it looked familiar and I had Jian examine what kind of drug was used. Jian said it was a complex combination of certain types of rare substances. The combination could cause different results ranging from simple nausea to hallucinations, unconsciousness even death. That special mixture is only used by a certain clan of ninjas. The Silent Ninja Clan," he told her distastefully. "Ever heard about that?"
"No… should I?" Pucca didn't understand why that particular clan should hold meaning to him or her.
"No, just asking." There was something in his tone that made her believe that maybe she should know. What isn't he telling her?
"Nonetheless, why would you still think I'm responsible for any of this when it's obvious someone's trying to harm me?" It amazed her how calm she was compared to how she was really feeling. As if this wasn't emotionally taxing on her. As if she didn't want to scream and tear at him any moment.
Tobe was silent for a while. He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Did he harm you? Before I got to you, I saw a black clad ninja running away from your direction." Pucca gulped at the controlled anger in his voice. "Why didn't you say anything about that when you told me what happened? Are you trying to protect this person?"
"Of course not. I just—" Hell! She should've just told him. Now she seemed more guilty in his eyes. "I just thought that- Well if you don't tell me everything you know, why should I?!"
Pucca met his intense scrutiny head on, letting him see for himself that she wasn't lying. Sighing resignedly, Tobe finally looked away from her. "Still, I don't believe I can trust you. Just know that I'm watching you. Whatever your plan is, before or after your convenient memory loss, I won't let you get away with it." His eyes narrowed at her suspiciously.
"You think this is convenient!" Something inside her seemed to explode at his words. "Damn you T-Tobe!" Her voice was shaking from her anger. "No matter what I do, you still think of me as some kind of monster!" A salty knot of emotion clogged her throat. "I know the circumstances of me being here are vague. I can't remember them and you don't understand. But… but I never gave you a reason to treat me like this. W-what did I ever do to you?"
If her vision wasn't clouded with tears, she would have seen the flash of emotion in his eyes. The softness in his gaze before he visibly hardened them.
"I made a mistake of secretly leaving the house and you think I'm a serial killer or something close to it. You keep waiting for me to mess up. Waiting for something that would justify your actions of treating me like this." With her last words, Pucca broke down and cried, covering her face with her hands. "Why, Tobe? Why do you hate me so much?"
Before he could answer, Pucca dashed away her tears and stood up from the couch. She walked hurriedly to the door not giving him a backward glance.
Tobe stood up and hurried to catch up with her. "You can't say that then walk away. We're not done talking."
She had just opened the door when he closed it again. He caught her by the elbow and turned her around to face him. Pucca flung his hand away, tears still streaming down her eyes. "Well, I'm done, Tobe. With everything. I-I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving. I can't do whatever it was I was planning to do before my convenient memory loss anyway s-so you must be relieved. My memory loss is-is no longer your concern." Her breathing was ragged and she was hiccupping. "Goodbye."
Something in his eyes flashed at the word and he caught the back of her neck and pulled her to him. He pressed her head to his chest and wrapped her in a tight embrace. "You're not leaving me."
Shocked, Pucca just stood there listening to his erratic heartbeat. Despite herself, she closed her eyes and clung to him, listening to the sound.
"Pucca… I never thought we'd end up like this. Just hurting each other." Tobe whispered against her hair. She didn't understand what he was talking about but she allowed him to press her closer to his body. "I don't know if I could trust you. And I can't trust myself around you. All I know is that if I let you hurt anyone else around here, I would never forgive myself. Or you."
"Tobe, you, you're an assh—" She tried to pry herself away from him but he pushed her back against the door, effectively trapping her.
"What makes you so special from all the other women I know? What is it about you that gets under my skin so much? For too long, you've been clawing at my mind. I hate you so much for it, I can't stand it!" He growled. Pucca stayed still while his hand suddenly circled her neck as if wishing he could strangle her. But his thumb gently brushed a circular pattern against her throat making her shiver. "And in spite of that, I can't just get rid of you. Because hell I want you here with me."
With that, he cupped her jaw and brought his lips crashing down on hers. It was a punishing kiss, meant to cause her pain rather than pleasure. She tried pushing at his chest but it was as effective as pushing at a brick wall. She tried hitting his back and pulling at his hair but it only seemed to excite him more.
No, Tobe. Not like this…
It was only when the salty taste of tears touched their joined lips that he stilled.
She didn't even notice she was crying again. Or did she even stop?
Tobe looked at her with self-loathing in his gaze. He seemed to be mentally beating himself up. She should be glad, or at least feel a modicum of satisfaction that he was feeling guilty and hating himself at the moment.
"Tobe please don't…" She wrapped her arms around his neck before he could get away. She was crazy for doing this yet she couldn't stand the thought of him hurting. Why was that?
Tobe placed his hands on her waist and looked down at her. His eyes had a regretful, questioning look in them so without even asking out loud, Pucca answered him with a gentle kiss on the lips. He moved his lips against hers in a slow and sweet rhythm. His tongue swept against her bruised lips soothingly. Pucca sighed in pleasure.
The hands that were placed on her waist slid around her to wrap her tightly, her soft body molding against the hard contours of his.
She slid her fingers through his hair rose higher to deepen the kiss. Her tongue shyly seeking entry between the seam of his lips. He groaned as he granted her request. Their tongues mated and danced sending answering fire coursing between them.
For several moments they just stayed that way. Not wanting the moment to end yet hesitating to go further.
"Tobe! Pucca! Everything alright in there?"
It was Jian. He came back like he said he would.
Tobe broke the kiss but didn't answer back.
"Pucca, "he said breathing hard, "it would be easier to hate you if you just hate be back."
Pucca looked up at him with her cheeks flushed red, her lips swollen and her chest rising and falling from her ragged breathing. "Who said I want to make things easier for you," she replied sassily.
His lips twitched in a semblance of a smile before he let her go.
"Tobe!" Jian called again. "You two better not be fighting."
Pucca stepped to the side to let Tobe through. He grasped the doorknob but paused for a moment. His head dropped to his chest and his shoulders slumped. Pucca couldn't see his face since she was behind him. But he seemed...
Before Pucca could think of an appropriate description he went through the door and closed it behind him.
Pucca stood there wishing that he had just yelled her head off like she expected him to. This was definitely not what she had anticipated her morning to turn out.
0o0o0o
Author's Notes: Ahh… love-hate relationships. So angsty, don't you think? Anyway, sorry for taking so long to update. I've been neglecting this story for months but I still hope I did this chapter some justice. Thank you for inspiring me to write again with your reviews :)
