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Short note : Week One over! Three more weeks! There'll be a slight angst in this chapter. What I mean by slight, is actually the beginning. Bahaha!


Love Me For Thirty Days

DAY EIGHT

Saturday

.

.

.

"So you're always honest," I said.

"Aren't you?"

"No," I told him. "I'm not."

"Well, that's good to know, I guess."

"I'm not saying I'm a liar," I told him. He raised his eyebrows. "That's not how I meant it, anyways."

"How'd you mean it, then?"

"I just...I don't always say what I feel."

"Why not?"

"Because the truth sometimes hurts," I said.

"Yeah," he said. "So do lies, though."

Sarah Dessen, Just Listen


Love is all about time.

You need time to fall in love. You also need time to let the love fades, the paradigmatic theatre show playing a heartbreak cut scene. You need time to think whether to accept a person's proposal. You need time to get to know of the other person before you get to do a decision, to observe the strengths and flaws and attractions that may convince your very own heart and listen as your inner voices tell you that whoever the person is, whether he or she is the right person.

When one spent time longer with her or his beloved, they get a sparse chance to see the small details in the said person. They get to observe, to evaluate – and perhaps, to savour. They get to know the bad habits, the eccentricities, the fears, the sweet things they risked to do specially for their loved ones. And when time decided to linger, they would see that even the small movements, the flinches and shivers and quirks meant something deeper than just a shift of the body. That every flickers of the gaze was written of different definition, another different feelings.

Apparently, Akashi Seijuurou was becoming much more curious than before. He was curious toward every movement of his spouse, his supposed lover. For example, that nervous glances Tetsuya throwing toward him when he thought the redhead was too busy scouring through business papers, not shifting his own stolen peeps as well. The feeling was like as if there was something the blunette wanted to tell him. Some sort of an uncalled message. But whenever Seijuurou questioned him, the blunette was tongue-tied, a tad alarmed, and shook his head as a firm rejection.

Curiosity killed the cat after all, but there was a continuation for that saying after all – but satisfaction brought it back. And yes, satisfaction was what he needed right now; to ease the dire need to know of the secret language that even he couldn't find the nuances. Since a few days, he was figuring out a few questions running in his mind. That was why he seemed to be carrying out a plan; listing out details of Tetsuya's favourites and likes, objects useful for bribery of some sort. Just to work out for some answers.

It's not wrong, he clicked his tongue, I only wanted to know what's in his mind. That's all.

Seijuurou woke up very early despite the very day a start of the weekend. He peered to the side, watching as the blunette had his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. He stirred a bit, moaned something as he changed his sleeping position and turned to face the latter. His bed hair was, as commonly seen, came in a disarranged cascades. Spontaneously, the redhead fondled over the short mane in several shades of blue, slender fingers caressed the strands one by one. Sunshine had not yet descended into the panes yet, through translucent curtains, and so Seijuurou proceeded to just lie down like he was having a lazy Saturday.

Tetsuya stirred once more. As if something shocking occurring in his dreams, he cracked an eye open – this time sincerely taken aback to see the redhead staring toward him in his slumber.

"Good morning," whispered the redhead like they were being chased down by some criminals. He smiled sheepishly, "Go back to sleep. It's still early."

"Nnngh. . ." the latter groaned, "Then, why are you awake then?"

"I just woke up too."

"Mm, really? What about Sakura?" Tetsuya stretched his arms.

"Still asleep, I guess."

"I see. . ."

The blunette snoozed off a moment later, passed out as quickly as he opened his eyes previously. And so, Seijuurou watched him again; every movements, every shudders, every stretches. By allowing his mind to take over, the questions instantly popped in his head once more. Again and again, asking the same things without boredom.

A few days ago, he dared himself asking; what was the purpose of the deal? What was the blunette planning despite all the troubles he had to go through? He flashed back the image before the first part of their deal. Woebegone as he could be, those pair of bright sapphire seemed to hold back words. More than a desperate plea to not follow along the divorcement plan. And words became secrets, secrets became something that would be forgotten later on. He wanted to avoid the last part the most.

The red-haired man finally pulled himself off the quilt after an hour. He yawned, noticing that he was actually still lethargic but dragged himself to the other bedroom – supposedly a guest room – to check on the five-year old girl. True enough, she was still nestled between covers, hugging a Raggedy-Ann doll half her body size. Smiling fondly, he went back to his own room for a quick change of his clothes.

Tetsuya was arranging the bed as he slipped inside, smoothing the quilt and placing pillows back to the correct positions. It was then, the Akashi heir seemed to notice the brief glance from the shorter male and it passed down quickly as he lowered his gaze. Swallowing, his lips parted as he dared the questions to spill out but Tetsuya cut his words, his own spilt faster;

"S-Sakura's still asleep?"

"Yeah. . ."

"I see."

"Tetsuya."

"Hm?"

Alright. This is it.

"You sure you don't have anything to tell me, don't you?"

Said Tetsuya could only gulped as he further avoided his husband's sharp stare. The blunette knew what kind of stare it was; that desire to know every single details and nothing amiss from his control, and Tetsuya knew it was something he couldn't escape if he'd pry further. "Of course not," retorted Tetsuya back.

"Okay then," he stepped, closing a distance between them, "You don't have to be nervous."

"What do you mean nervous?"

"You know," he leaned closer, "Those stutters, avoiding my eyes and all that. . . Tetsuya, you know who I am – I'm not one to be fooled."

Tetsuya snorted. For the first time, the baby blue pools hardened, a stare turned to a glare instead. "Are you. . . Are you scolding me?"

"Oh, come on. I'm just stating my point."

"Yeah right, you're mad because I kept a thing or two for myself. But what about you? You kept a girl for yourself and decided to tell me after a long time of affair. I bet you both fucked already, didn't you?" It came out as a spat, a harsh one.

Ah, this again. . . "I didn't say anything about that. No, no, no. I didn't brought this up. . ." Seijuurou raised his hands in defence, thoroughly offended. "And for your information, I haven't done her yet. But if you'd been thinking about her, well then I'm thinking of reconsidering it."

True to his expectations, the shorter male gasped and he ended up throwing a pillow toward Seijuurou.

"Just go away!"

"I was just –" jaws working, he swallowed. He turned away spitefully. "Tetsuya, I didn't mean to argue."

"Well, you are now!" the other one cried, his eyes becoming glossy.

"You know if you just tell me what's going on, then maybe we wouldn't be like this!"

"Just leave me alone!" The tears were already falling, a perfect droplet obvious on his cherub cheeks.

Unnoticed by the two of them, another unwilling occupant peeked through the creak of the door. Afraid of what was going on, she stifled her cries in silence and left from becoming a further witness. Instead, the pink-haired girl ran to the other direction, her intention back to her own room but she found herself stumbled to the floorboards with a loud thud. The couple in a heated argument heard the haste footsteps and the sound of the crash, disrupting them till the house itself turned eerie silent. Immediately, Tetsuya raced to Sakura, shocked to see a fuzzy pink-haired sobbing in the floor. And that was when he instantly realised; Sakura was witnessing the argument.

"Sakura. . ."

She whimpered weakly, trying her best attempts to crawl far from one of her caretaker.

"Sakura, I'm sorry. . . You saw the whole thing?"

"N-N-No. . . Eh. . . Em. . ." She finalised her answer contrary to her previous response.

The blunette softened his eyes. He hauled the little girl to stand up once more, and once she did, he pulled her into a tight embrace. He could feel his own tears as well, still fresh and falling.

"Will chichiue and otou-san won't be together anymore?"

"No. . . No. . . Of course we'll still be together," he tried smiling, but even the smiles didn't reach his eyes.

"Th-Then, promise me not to fight anymore. . ."

"I. . . promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Promise," Tetsuya giggled, a rise of his tonality dropped the crestfallen bearing.

From behind the door, Seijuurou was only capable of staring toward the wonder, his eyes unfocused as he spaced out. Eyes fluttering shut, he focused on the events before and groaned regretfully. There was a throbbing headache on his temples, one hand propped against and massaged the spot. Such a mess it was, especially when it didn't cease the strange feelings he was having. He heaved a heavy sigh. It wasn't what he planned after all.


And so, Sakura was sent back to her own house. She was as silent as a mouse, not even bidding her godparent a proper goodbye as she returned to her bedroom at once just as she arrived. Her mother had given Seijuurou a look, not at all a pleasant one, gesturing a signal toward the direction of the little girl. The only thing that was capable of coming out from his lips was that she had a bad stomach ache, and that was it. Even so – as observant as she was, good ol'Satsuki – she still eyed him as if he was an antagonist. Something in the eyes full of rose and cherry blossom shades told her that she knew of their backstory. Indeed most women had that particular aspects after all. And Seijuurou just knew about it when the woman halted her movement of closing the door. With her eyes glued onto the marble, she nibbled on her lip, saying – "Don't be too harsh on Tetchan, okay?"

He felt guiltier than ever before.

Of course, he realised he was harsh after all.

It was when he returned home, expecting a certain short male greeting him in the living room but then he realised that he wasn't at home. Something about it gave him chills, an urge to shudder against the thought. But really, he wasn't one who would stop the latter from going anywhere he wanted to go. Seijuurou allowed him to have that freedom after all. It was then, Seijuurou decided to watch the telly – better spending a day to relax his bones and brain. The redhead settled comfortably on the couch, his back leaning against velvet cushions and his fingers grazed upon a papery material. He pulled out an envelope from the settee.

"What's this?" It was an envelope all right, still sealed and looked confidential. Instantly, he knew it belonged to Tetsuya. Of all times, why now? – and Seijuurou was itching to open it. But he visualised the tears this early morning, the pained look he gave just because of one question meaning to intrude a small portion of his privacy. There was no way the redhead wanted such incident to repeat itself again. Thus, the envelope was placed somewhere else – the redhead trying his best to feign ignorance toward the one and only letter for (or perhaps about) Tetsuya.


Tetsuya always hated hospitals. He abhorred the strong, acrid scent hanging around the wards and waiting rooms and corridors. The nurses were always in haste, either running or pacing back and forth, into or out of the patients' rooms. And he sure wasn't a big fan of seeing patients getting hooked by multiple of IVs and needles or those beneath the white sheets chased down to the emergency rooms. Today was no better as well, he was continuously pushed down by both workers and visitors, and he spent too long inside the waiting room filled with people of different ages. The only person he ever preferred to meet was Takao, who worked side by side with his said lover, of course. Constantly, the man with his ever-so-cheerful mien would lift his moods and he found himself smiling a bit despite the location.

It was nearly afternoon when he exited the large, whitewashed building. He exhaled a rather long huff when he was finally out, breathing in fresh oxygen. And yet, he was met with Taiga who had a bandage wrapped around his left arm, giving the latter a mousy curl on the lips when he noticed he was giving a firm but concerned look.

"It was just a burn when I tried to rescue a boy in Shinjuku. This is nothing serious," he grinned triumphantly. For a person who recently worked as a fireman, that was very reckless of him. Even so, Kagami Taiga was always the reckless type. He was only ever so good when he started playing basketball. And he had quit from a team in America a year ago just to return back to Japan. Kami knows what his reason was.

"Well, I'm glad you're fine. . ." The short lad snorted, his eyes averted to the scarlet pools and back to the wounded arm. He looked a tad disturbed. Tetsuya was one who couldn't handle looking at wounds after all.

"How about you? What are you doing in the hospital?"

"Oh, um. . . visiting an old friend. . ." Was it just him, Taiga thought, or the blunette started flinching when he was questioned.

"Who?"

"Y'know. . . A friend of mine from college – yeah, Hoshine-senpai?"

"Hoshine. . . Hoshine Aya? I thought she was in hospitalised in Akibahara? I think she's in Kyoundo Hospital. . ."

"A-Ah. . . She was transferred to this hospital because. . . reasons? How do I supposed to know, Bakagami."

The taller one retorted back, playfully defending himself. "Hey, I'm just asking! Tch, is it wrong to ask?"

Tetsuya giggled when he heard and saw the man started to grumble. It was often when he started to grumble, the blunette noticed he had a slight resemblance to Daiki after all. Supposed they could be twins if they were to have similar physical features. He smiled fondly over the memories of them arguing over tiny matters, back when they were still in high school.

"Oh well, I'm going back," feigning a languid aura, he somehow felt sluggish,"See you, Kagami-kun."

The blunette was about to turn away when Taiga shouted back at him. "O-Oi, wait!"

"Hm?"

"You know. . . Recently, Momoi's been calling me and she said that you seemed a bit down lately," Taiga reluctantly cleared his throat, "If you feel like you need a friend to talk, you can talk to me. . . Okay?"

For a moment, the latter expected a rejection – a laugh or a snorting sound and rolling his baby blue eyes in sarcasm. But the blunette only stood firm on his grounds, his eyes unfocused for a moment as if he was searching his tongue back. It was only when a matter of seconds passed, the blunette had a small stretch upon his lips and he muttered slowly; "Thanks, Kagami-kun." The mentioned one was fortunate enough to have the other male turned away once the heat on his cheeks started spreading.

"Anytime. . ."

His wandering gaze lowered until it reached the ground. There was more he wanted to speak of, but as he parted his lips and looked up the words pulled into a silent gasp and he could only watched the latter walked away to his own car. The red-haired man sighed, disappointed. Only thing that remained for so long was the blush spreading across his cheeks.


Tetsuya wasn't one that despised his own house. But considering there was a certain redhead at home, he was being reluctant. Even so, the park he lingered for so long didn't cease his unease emotions. He could see the skies turning into rich autumn shades, blending in with the darkest cobalt and grey skies. His own baby blue remained at the sight of the space, so vast and so clear, the view was wide and beautiful. By now, little children and their parents were leaving to their respective homes, college students chasing after buses to return to their own dorms before it got darker. Yet, he remained seated on the bench, watching as others fled like a flock of birds, thronging the streets and lanes back to the neighbourhood. He remained until the last drop of amber, the streetlights switched and bright lights poured toward one spot on each rows upon rows of the streets. He remained there; just looking and observing and catching every moment. The blunette wasn't one to notice the time though, it was as if to him that time never existed at all. Or perhaps, he was too caught up in his own world to see the day changing from bright to dark.

He didn't notice it was almost night till he felt warmth spreading all over his body, a coat larger than his own size hung limply around his shoulders. Cringing (he almost jumped actually), his face whipped upwards just to meet with a concerned look belonged to none other than Akashi Seijuurou. Tetsuya retreated to the side for a bit.

"He. . .Hey. . . Why are you here?" His tone was unexpectedly soft. In the inside, the blunette almost melted listening to his voice. He covered his mouth with his lips, holding back the whine when he felt like he wanted to cry.

Seijuurou was always the unfair one. Even when he was in the wrong point, he had the ability of making others apologising to him no matter what. Tetsuya was no exception. Yet, he learnt better after living for a few years – not really about to not remain unaffected but to hold back.

"I just want to be alone for a while," he sniffed, followed by a pronounced sulk.

Seijuurou sighed. "Even if you want to, you can't. It's getting colder."

"I don't care. . ."

"Tetsuya, listen to me at least once."

"No – I mean, please Sei. . ." Tetsuya had his own self shocked as he gestured his spouse with a rather strong push. The shorter male swallowed a bit of his shame, spitting out the quivering words, "Leave me alone. . ."

The redhead sighed toward his own wife's – er, husband's troublesome antics in the interim. Finally, he spat the firm, infamous tone he was capable on, "If that's what you want. But I'm not a cruel man to allow you to do that. Here. Alone." Before the other could retaliate, he grabbed Tetsuya by the hips – halted for a moment as the other struggled for his own freedom – and had his arms securely gripping his buttocks. Tetsuya felt his weight shifted until he was in safe arms. Even so, the dissatisfaction was still visible and he was actually angry – yes, angry! – when he felt he was forced to do this.

"Let me down! Now! Sei, you better –" On and on, the blunette, who was known to be a man with few words, were throwing all kinds of words at his own husband. Ranging from harsh ones to curses to profanities. The stronger man attempted his best to ignore, yet the words were getting louder and there wasn't any stopping to this. So, he did what he had to do – and that was to kiss Tetsuya. On the lips. With tongue. Hard. "Mmff –!"

Seijuurou felt a brief moment of pain, tasting blood on his lips when he realised the other one had taken an opportunity of hurting him by rough bites. In return, he led the submissive one by the tongue, coaxing Tetsuya's mind until he went dead mute.

Finally, he pulled his face away to stare upon the hardest glare Tetsuya could gave him. The redhead found himself licking the numbness off his lips, throwing back a triumphant glee to the blunette. It was when they returned to the car – Seijuurou's BMW – he placed the blunette gently on the passenger seat and leaned closer. Closer that Tetsuya, in spite of the heavy thump in his chest, was feeling uncomfortable.

Seijuurou recollected back memories upon memories of Tetsuya. His stubbornness, one trait he dreaded the most – his childish refusal over the choice of food, the bad habits – his silent mien treasuring all the secrets which weren't meant to be kept – the redhead knew he had been gaining strength from such attitude. And he knew that whatever Tetsuya was keeping could be put aside for now; and that he could wait.

Only one thing could reveal everything.

Time. Because time developed love, shaping the oddballs of feelings into something much more greater. Because time gave people chances to think, to make a decision. And time was all he needed. More time, and one day he would know.

"One day, Tetsuya. . ."

But Tetsuya knew the redhead longed to know. His eyes, a pair of gems of a remarkable, polished ruby and royal shades of topaz was glinting with hints of a pained expression. He repeated the two words again, slowly putting off barricades of distance between their faces. Tetsuya knew if he would repeat the words once more, he would unleash his tears and confess. But the redhead didn't.

Across the lanes, Seijuurou drove the two of them back home. An eerie silence shrouded the insides of the car. Tetsuya pretended he was sleeping, but slowly he was nibbling on his lip. Again and again, he told himself. . .

"One day. . ."

It hurts. It hurts so bad.

He knew the letter was a futile attempt of exposing this one conflict of their tale.


"Ah, Akashi-san. It's been a week, hasn't it? How are you feeling today?"

"Okay, I guess."

"So, anything that you wanted to tell me?"

"Nothing much. . . It's just that. . ."

"What is it, Akashi-san?"

"I don't feel like going to regular check-ups anymore. Can today be the last of our meeting – I mean, it's not like you were a bad doctor or anything."

The woman in clinical coat laughed. "It's okay, Akashi-san. I can understand your distress as well. Judging from your expression, you still keep this matter as a secret. Don't you?"

"Y-Yeah. . ."

The doctor's hazel eyes softened. "I pray for the best of you two. . . And since, there's nothing we both can do, yes you may not come for your check-up anymore."

"R-Really?!"

"Of course!" The young but experienced doctor giggled. "Just promise me you spend more time with your family, okay?"

"Of course. . . Of course, I will. . ."

He was only about to leave. Yet, the doctor halted his steps with her words.

"Akashi-san."

"Y-yeah?"

"Don't be too harsh on yourself."

"Okay. . ."

He left the doctor's office, crystalline rivulets rolling down his cheeks.

"I won't," that's what he told himself.

We all knew it was the opposite.

TO BE CONTINUED


Mozu : What if I told you that Tetsuya will – *evil laughter more evil than evil* I know, I know. . . I just wanna see if this can get 200 or not. I felt challenged. XD

Should I make a one-sided KagaKuro?

In later chapters, I want to make them having a vacation. Should it be USA or China or Singapore? Maybe I'll be doing America or Europe after all, hehee. But next chapter will be about Yui and her backstory as well and a bit of AkaKuro angst as usual. Up to this chapter, I think you guys wanna be a little bit observant than before. Huehue.

Maybe Tetsuya will be *coughs* after all. *puts deal with it shades*

X for love, O for hate!

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-Mozu The Mochi (2015)