WARNING
WARNING!: In this chapter, you will find implied sex. Mind you, I don't do lemons, and yet there is still sex here. I can't stress enough that there will be sex here, just so no one stumbles upon the sex accidentally and goes, "Hey, wait! THERE'S SEX HERE! NOW WHERE'S THE CANDY?!"
Ichigo and the Beanstalk
A Bleach Fairy Tale by
Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)
Chapter 9: Sleeping (with) Hime
Hinamori liked to dissect dolls.
This was a habit she had only picked up recently.
Sometimes she would do it with an anatomy guide open beside her, so she could imagine certain organs gushing forth blood at the same time. But she much preferred the soft stuffing of dolls instead. It was easier and cleaner to squeeze.
She only dissected dolls when she was angry, or right before a fight. Visualization was key, Soifon had drilled into her head over and over again. See yourself doing it, and then do it. But Hinamori suspected that if she just walked into Ichigo's office and tried to stab him, he'd move and throw off the precision of the cut.
There was a soft knock at the door, and an equally soft voice murmured, "Momo-chan? Can I come in?"
Blinking rapidly, Hinamori swept the doll and its remains into a prepared box (she was far too used to having to hide them) and slid it under her bed. Then, since she was already on the floor, chose to remain there and act like she'd been meditating. "Yes, Yachiru."
Yachiru didn't usually ask to enter a room; she figured if someone wanted privacy, they'd lock their door like she did. She also figured her candy would be stolen if she left her door unlocked. This was rather silly, because the few times it had happened, Yachiru had managed to sniff out the culprit, literally, and had Ichigo deck the unfortunate officer for her. He hadn't really MEANT to break the guy's jaw, but at the same time, he wasn't sorry.
Ironically enough, Hinamori DID have more important things than candy to hide, but because of that, she never locked her door. People always knocked, because no one wanted to startle her and end up with Tobiume buried in their eye socket.
Yachiru didn't come in all at once. She slowly pushed the door open and stuck her head in, peeking around the door as if afraid of something. Hinamori noticed that she was wearing the black hair band today, which was speckled with pictures of tiny strawberries (Ichigo hated it).
"I did say you could come in," Hinamori reminded her with a small smile.
"But you didn't say you wanted me to," Yachiru pointed out reasonably.
"I want you to," Hinamori amended, patting a spot on the floor next to her.
Relaxing somewhat, Yachiru slipped in and closed the door... but she stayed there. "You're still mad."
"Yes," Hinamori admitted, frowning.
"At me?"
"No, of course not."
Yachiru instantly cartwheeled over to her, managing to stop in just the perfect place for her head to land lightly in Hinamori's lap. "He didn't mean to yell at you," Yachiru said quietly, staring up into Hinamori's face.
"It didn't seem that way at the time."
Yachiru paused, as if she didn't like what she was about to say next. And sure enough...
"I know you understand. Sometimes nothing is more important than your Captain."
Hinamori winced, but said nothing. It still hurt to be reminded of Aizen... not because she missed him, but because there was a time when she'd have welcomed him back, even after he'd tried to kill her. To recall that she had been that weak and foolish left a bad taste in her mouth.
Yachiru sighed. "Sorry. But Ichi-kun loved Ken-chan. Not the way I did, but that doesn't matter. Ken-chan is still important to us, and Ichi-kun doesn't want anyone to forget. So even though Ken-chan gave his name away, Ichi-kun doesn't want it, and he doesn't want anyone else to take it. It's all Ken-chan has now, see? So it's important."
"Then why didn't he just say that?" Hinamori asked after a moment.
"Because he was mad and hurt and doesn't know how to say so. You know how thick in the head boys are. Ken-chan never talked about his feelings, either. But what matters is that Ichi-kun wasn't really mad at you. He's really sorry, but he thought if he came here, you'd attack him or something. Silly, right?"
Hinamori blushed slightly and glanced at the bed. The doll currently laid to rest beneath it had a fresh coat of orange paint over its formerly blond head. "Yes. Silly, indeed."
"So you can be mad at him a little longer. But not too long, okay?"
"Okay," Hinamori agreed. "Thank you, Yachiru. You're a good friend."
"Yeah, yeah. Pay up."
Hinamori blinked. "Excuse me?"
Yachiru sat up and hit her with a patented Ichigo Scowl. "I'm a lieutenant, not a therapist. If I have to do both, I get extra."
"Oh, I see." Hinamori reached into her pocket and pulled out three gumballs.
Yachiru snatched all three, then paused and pushed one into Hinamori's mouth. "Don't tell anyone I shared candy with you. I have a reputation to think about."
"So... he kissed you?" Isane asked slowly, carefully straightening a stack of patient reports on Captain Unohana's desk.
Kiyone blushed and nodded, which was rather unlike her.
Isane did her best not to frown, but it was hard. Captain Hitsugaya did not strike her as the type to go around randomly kissing people. In fact, she'd always found him to generally be too busy with his duties to spare most people more than a few words. Sure, he was polite enough, but a social butterfly he was not (part of why Matsumoto had been a smart match as his former lieutenant; she'd completed him).
"You don't look happy for me," Kiyone finally noticed, deflating a bit.
"I'm not sure if this is something to be happy about," Isane replied. "There are too many unknowns. You barely know him at all, and he just kisses you. What does that mean? Was he just really relieved that you did all of his paperwork, or was he getting fresh with you? Is he going to do this all the time, or was it just a one-time thing?"
"You aren't even a little excited?" Kiyone grumbled, looking crushed.
"I'm sorry, Kiyone, really! But, well... you've never had much luck with guys. The last one tried to beat you, and if you didn't know how to box, he might've actually done it."
"So I won't pick up guys in bars anymore! But Captain Hitsugaya isn't like that!"
"True, but that doesn't mean he's the one for you, either. What if things go badly between you? You'll still have to see him every day. Maybe you should rethink this."
"But I like him!" Kiyone protested.
"Does he like you?"
"He likes me enough to kiss me!"
Isane sighed and shook her head. "Just promise me you'll be careful, Kiyone. I know you can look after yourself, but don't forget that he is much stronger than you, and he has a temper."
"He is also a gentleman, when the notion strikes him, and fiercely loyal to those he loves," Unohana said as she suddenly breezed into the office. "Any woman would be lucky to have him."
Kiyone beamed at her, but Isane's frown deepened. "Captain, I don't think-"
"You," Unohana said abruptly, "need a sticker." And with that, she placed a small, shiny smiley face on Isane's shoulder. "Much better."
Isane stared at her shoulder, and then at Unohana, who was smiling brightly at her. "Um, Captain...? Are you... feeling alright?"
"Perfect," was the reply Unohana offered. As an afterthought, she offered Kiyone a shiny kangaroo sticker, which was quickly accepted.
"Captain Unohana, maybe you should lie down for a moment," Isane suggested, putting enough emphasis in the statement that it could only be heard as an order.
Unohana stared at her and frowned. Then she put another smiley face on Isane's shoulder, and a third on her cheek.
Isane was very tempted to scream in frustration, but didn't. They were just stickers, and anyway, she could hardly yell at her own captain.
"Maybe she'd stop if you'd smile," Kiyone suggested. "Or if you said something halfway decent about Captain Hitsugaya."
"Well, he has you now," Isane stated, without thinking.
Kiyone's eyes became huge and watery. "Oh, nee-san!" she wailed, glomping onto Isane and bawling into her sister's arm.
Despite the fact that her robes were getting very wet, Isane was tempted to hug her sister, but the moment was ruined when Unohana stuck yet another sticker on her. "Why do you keep doing that?" Isane finally demanded... as respectfully as she possibly could.
"Well, I certainly won't anymore, if that's your attitude," Unohana replied with a frown. And before Isane could say another word, her captain had swept out of the room, no doubt searching for someone who could better appreciate her stickers. As it turned out, she didn't have far to go.
"Captain Abarai!" Isane heard Unohana exclaim from the hallway. "You seem like a sensible man who enjoys a good sticker."
"Eh? What the hell are you... HEY?!"
"Now, now, it's just a sticker..."
"It's not just a sticker! It's a damn bunny rabbit!"
"Rukia seems fond of them. You don't like bunny rabbits?"
"...HELL YES I DO! You can put the rest right here!"
"Oh my. That's quite an impressive... space you have there."
"Well, since it's you, I'm giving you my special permission to touch it all you need."
"I'm flattered."
Isane slammed the door at that point, her face bright red. "What is WRONG with people today?!"
"If I had to guess, I'd say she got some," Kiyone murmured absently, admiring her sticker. She'd placed it on her wrist.
"Got some what? Bad fruit?"
"No, sex."
There was a long pause.
"Kiyone, that's not funny!" Isane snapped.
"Who's laughing?" Kiyone countered. "Captain Unohana is nice AND pretty, so why couldn't she get some? Just because YOU are too much a of a prude, it doesn't-"
"My! Captain! Did! NOT! Have! SEX!" Isane shouted.
"Did you ask her?"
That question was so ridiculous that Isane didn't even dignify it with a response. And yet, when Unohana returned, disposing of a now empty sticker sheet, Isane found her lips moving.
"Kiyone thinks you had sex recently, Captain."
Unohana blinked, but did not smile. "Kiyone is very observant, then."
"What!" Isane cried in shock. "But... you... the... HOW!"
Unohana sighed in a way that was one part patience, and one part annoyance. Obviously, this was not the first time she'd gotten such a response. "When a man and a woman-"
"I KNOW THAT PART ALREADY!"
The door slid open again, and in an instant, Isane had shrunken back as the massive form of Captain Komamura towered over them. Curiously, Unohana did not seem bothered by this, which was odd, since he was standing directly behind her.
"I heard shouting, and thought you might be under attack, Retsu," Komamura said, his large hand resting on the hilt of his sword.
"I'm fine, Koma-kun," Unohana replied sweetly, beaming up at him.
Isane felt cold all over, and knew it had nothing to do with Komamura's slightly stifling spiritual pressure.
"I see." Komamura's hand moved away from his sword... and came to rest, rather possessively, all things considered, on Unohana's waist. Isane felt positively scandalized by that... until she noticed that Unohana's only reaction was to blush prettily. Then, Isane just felt sick.
"Well, you two must excuse me," Unohana said abruptly. "Koma-kun and I are late for our tea date."
"You could have tea right here," Isane noted bitterly.
"True," Unohana admitted uncomfortably.
"But not the sex that would come after the tea," Komamura pointed out. Almost proudly.
"Koma-kun!" Unohana gasped in outrage... but she soon trailed off into girlish giggling, so it was unlikely that she was upset at all.
"Well, I hope you're being responsible," Kiyone said, and Isane gaped at her. That was not the proper attitude to address Komamura, or any other shinigami known to possess a ruthless temper.
"Of course," Komamura replied calmly. "She has ten orgasms to my every one."
"...not even remotely close to what I meant, but that does sound rather nice," Kiyone sighed dreamily.
"Oh, it IS," Unohana assured her.
Isane cleared her throat, loudly. "And no one is bothered by any of this?!"
Kiyone shook her head and turned back to the two Captains. "I'm sorry about my sister. She hasn't been getting any-"
"KIYONE!" Isane shrieked. Even worse, she could tell that Komamura and Unohana were looking at her with actual pity. Well, Unohana was, and she assumed Komamura was, underneath his wooden bucket helmet.
"Oh, my poor Isane," Unohana sighed, reaching over to pat her hand gently. "I'm sure you'll find... someone."
"Don't say it like that!"
Karin did not consider herself a completely disagreeable girl.
She had just noticed a disturbing trend where people close to her would depart under mysterious circumstances, and she was sick of it. Naturally, she grew more suspicious toward strangers, especially those that moved in with little or no explanation (or just really flimsy explanations, anyway). To this day, Karin was still wary of Rukia, not because she'd stolen Yuzu's pajamas, but because Karin was convinced that Ichigo's prolonged disappearance was directly related to Rukia's leaving in the first place.
Still, Ichigo was practically grown, and he could do whatever he wanted. So long as he called home or sent a postcard every month, Karin couldn't really stay mad at him. Once she'd accepted that, Karin had quietly abandoned the plan to march into wherever her brother was holed up and drag him back home.
Anyway, Ichigo's being gone gave Karin more time to focus on protecting Yuzu. Despite the fact that Karin had never really wanted a twin (she didn't mind a sister, but a twin was a little much at times), she still found herself acting as if she and Yuzu were joined at the hip. There was just this strange connection between them, which Yuzu had insisted on calling their "twin vibe," but that Karin always knew was something else.
Karin could always tell when Yuzu was hurt or in trouble, even if they were miles apart. She'd tried to tell herself that it was nothing... except, Ichigo had always miraculously been there whenever Yuzu got picked on at school (and in the process got himself banned from a school he didn't even attend, for beating up students younger than him). Karin had never questioned it before; Ichigo was habitually late for anything not involving the bodily harm of his sisters, so it balanced out.
And even if Ichigo's rescues were a little too timely, Karin could hardly find fault with him. Because it was not the way that Ichigo would carry Yuzu home on his back that Karin remembered best. Nor was it the way that Ichigo would quietly allow Yuzu to fuss over even the tiniest bruises on him. No, it was the way Ichigo would always grin at Karin after she'd gotten roughed up defending Yuzu until he arrived, and call her his "scrappy little bulldog." She'd hated that... but Yuzu would always stop crying, giggle, and smile, so that was alright.
Also, it had taken Karin a while to stop biting, and that was because she got tired of Ichigo howling and leaving chicken bones on her bed.
Unfortunately, Karin's nose was nowhere near as good as a dog's, or she would've given Kurotsuchi Femu a good sniffing the moment the weird girl set foot in the house. Instead, she only had Yuzu's claim that Femu was perfectly nice to go on. That, and the weird feeling that Femu always gave her, like she'd eaten something that gave her a slight case of upset stomach.
Femu was nice, though... a little too nice. She was completely unfamiliar with typical household chores, but she was eager to learn, and Yuzu was more than willing to teach. Femu had also completely overlooked all of their father's character flaws, and insisted on greeting him with a hug and a kiss, which had immediately won Isshin over (he practically wet himself every time she called him "Papa-san").
All this meant that Karin was the only one even remotely suspicious of Femu. And even she had to grudgingly admit that Ichigo's absence was far less noticeable with another girl in the house.
Femu wisely wasn't trying to replace Ichigo, although she had a funny habit of apparently sleepwalking and waking up in his closet the next morning. Her excuse was that she just preferred sleeping in enclosed spaces... which was the perfect excuse for Yuzu to squeeze herself, Femu, and Karin into one bed, with Femu between them.
It was very awkward for a while, but Femu was not a fierce cuddler like Yuzu was, so Karin at least didn't have to worry about that. Although she wished Femu would snore, or just close her eyes when she slept. It was very strange to watch the older girl stare straight up, unblinking, like a robot. And sometimes when Karin just knew Femu was asleep, the older girl would suddenly turn to look at her, or brush a stray strand of hair out of Yuzu's face. "You should get some rest, Karin-chan," was all Femu would say, which bothered Karin like nothing else.
NOBODY called her Karin-chan, not even Yuzu, unless they were particularly annoyed at each other. And the only reason that Karin didn't give Femu the usual punishment for that offense (a swift kick in a tender place) was because Femu looked like she could take a hit, and give as good as she got. Of course, Femu was generally nice to everyone, but Karin had seen that hint of steel in her eyes whenever a stranger got near Yuzu. She often wondered what Femu would really do in a fight, but wasn't quite foolish enough to challenge her and find out.
"You and Kou-kun should go somewhere and bond," Orihime had said. "He likes you well enough, but I don't know if he loves you yet."
Amazingly, this was all it had taken to get Tatsuki (and Kouryou) out of the house for a day. If she were completely honest with herself, Tatsuki was gradually growing more fond of Orihime's son, because when he really tried, he made protecting Orihime from the big, bag world much easier. On the other hand, he was sometimes nearly twice as likely to get into trouble as Orihime herself, but Tatsuki had never had a boring day with either of them.
Kouryou had never really struck Tatsuki as a particularly loving child, though. He obviously loved Orihime, as well as her weird food combinations (and that took real love, since not even Tatsuki would go near most of them), but that was about it. How he felt about Tatsuki had never been a big concern: once he saw she was also determined to protect Orihime, he generally did whatever she asked. Tatsuki was also the only other person who could safely touch Kouryou without fear of death by butcher knife, less because he liked stabbing, and more because his reflexes bordered on those of a twelve star general hopped up on caffeine and sugar.
And though Kouryou still had yet to say a word, neither Orihime nor Tatsuki had any trouble understanding his gestures, expressions, or feelings... although Orihime had somehow learned sign language backwards, and tended to reverse the letters, so they'd stopped using that right away.
Kouryou was strangely fond of a nearby park, as well. Each time they visited, he would stand near a certain bench and just stare into the distance, his eyes clouding over until his name was called.
Tatsuki usually didn't bother to question what was going through Kouryou's mind, for the sake of her sanity, but such behavior always left her curious. It was also slightly worrisome: if anything bad should happen to Orihime's son, it would destroy her, worse than any rejection from Ichigo ever would.
However, Kouryou was incredibly resilient. Tatsuki had never seen him sick, or even hurt, for that matter. He reminded her a great deal of Chad, who, while he had gotten hurt, never really seemed to feel pain unless it was completely crippling. So Tatsuki couldn't really be blamed for taking her eyes off of Kouryou for a few minutes. After all, he was a tough little kid, so while he might cause trouble, he wouldn't get hurt. Anyway, how much trouble could he cause by just standing there and staring?
A few minutes later, Tatsuki got her answer, when an enormous column of blue light suddenly shot from the sky and slammed into the ground, with Kouryou at its center. Everything else in its path was reduced to little more than flying debris.
Of course, Tatsuki couldn't tell that from outside of the column. For all she knew, her young charge had just ceased to exist because of a freak disaster. So she couldn't really be blamed for reacting the way she did.
"KOU-KUN, NOOOOO!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, racing towards the destructive column of light (despite the fact that all evidence so far suggested that this was suicide).
Without warning, the light column vanished, revealing Kouryou standing there in the midst of a smoking crater, completely unharmed, and holding a sword that was easily twice as tall as Tatsuki. There was a blue, serpentine dragon winding around the blade, with its roaring head at the tip.
"Kou-kun safe, Mama Tatsuki," the boy said, smiling up at her.
Tatsuki stared at him, her mouth falling open in shock. "Kou-kun, you... you talked!"
"Kou-kun does that now." With a mere gesture, the sword was once again a butcher knife, and Kouryou tucked it back into his trusty leather belt. Then he reached up and grasped her hand. "Can we go home now?"
After a moment, Tatsuki closed her mouth. "Well, I-"
"Excuse me, ma'am," said a deep voice behind her. "Might we have a moment of your time?"
Tatsuki frowned as she turned to find a crowd of security guards glaring at her. "Um, no?" she murmured weakly.
"Destruction of public property. Lying to a security guard. Harboring a criminal. And worst of all, loitering on the grass. I am afraid we'll have to ask you to leave, ma'am."
"Oh. Well, okay-"
"And never return to this park. Ever."
"...but this is Kou-kun's favorite park!"
"Then he probably shouldn't have attacked it," the guard reasoned.
Tatsuki glanced at the boy, who shrugged slightly in response. "I'm sure he didn't mean to..."
"So he accidentally caused millions in damages-"
"Seiryou was ready to wake up. Kou-kun had to listen," the boy argued.
None of the guards was impressed with that excuse, so Tatsuki quickly dragged Kouryou away. Normally, she might've tried to fight them, just on principle, but thanks to Kouryou's new name for her, she was reminded that she was technically someone's mother, and mothers didn't get into fights with the law, if they could help it.
Roughly three hours after the incident in the park, an absolutely huge amount of Hollows appeared there, obviously in response to the equally huge amount of spiritual pressure still lingering there.
Roughly an hour after that, the 11th Division's top officers were dispatched to deal with the problem.
There was just one problem with this. These Hollows were especially hungry and aggressive that night. The harder the 11th Division fought, the more spiritual pressure they released. The more spiritual pressure there was, the more even hungrier, more powerful Hollows appeared on the scene.
And perhaps the worst part of the problem was that nearly all of the Hollows sensed and were reassured by the presence of one that was easily the strongest in the area... although they couldn't figure out why it was sharing a body with a shinigami.
But Ichigo didn't have time to worry about the confusion of the Hollows. He was far too distracted already.
Hinamori hadn't said a word to him all day, and it was bothering him far more than he'd ever imagined it would. She didn't seem mad at all, but the silent treatment was a tactic that completely blindsided Ichigo. Curiously, Yachiru had been quieter, too... although this only meant she took noticeable breaks in between her usual chattering.
Why Ichigo was thinking of this in the middle of a tough fight, he couldn't say. But it suddenly dawned on him that his Hollow was curiously quiet, too. Unfortunately, there was no time to consider that observation too much, because an abrupt, eerie ripping sound announced the arrival of an enemy Ichigo had never thought he'd see again.
"Menos Grande," Ichigo whispered calmly, tightening his grip on Zangetsu. "Good thing I'm in the mood for a rematch."
"I know you skipped Shinigami Academy," Hinamori said sternly, "but you really need to learn to count, Ichigo."
Ichigo was so startled she'd finally spoken to him that he completely missed the insult... and the implication, so he nearly got his brains kicked out by the second Menos Grande that emerged just behind the first. But Ichigo was not so rattled that he lost his head. "Yachiru! Hinamori!" he barked. "Bankai, now!"
Both girls froze in shock, sharing hesitant glances with each other. Theirs was the only Division where any officers were forbidden to release their Bankai without the Captain's permission. Some had thought it pointless, since Ichigo knew no more about restraint than Yachiru knew about sugarless candy. But Yachiru was just too powerful, and Hinamori, if the rumors were true, was now so deadly that she literally could not call off her Bankai without first killing something.
"Dammit, are you two deaf?!" Ichigo roared, slicing through a nearby Hollow with no difficulty.
That was all Yachiru needed to hear. Turning to Suteneko, who was staring up at her expectantly, the young lieutenant shouted, "Suteneko! Ultra Super Mega Hyper Neon Sugary Kitty, now!"
Suteneko sighed. "Why can't you just say 'Bankai' properly, like everyone else?" she groaned.
Yachiru pouted and shook her finger at her cat. "Bad kitty! Get big right now, or no treats when we get home!"
Rolling her eyes, Suteneko turned away and stretched out her tail, laying it in Yachiru's hand. "I could've stayed an alley cat," she grumbled.
In an explosion of pink light, a colossal, flaming cat appeared, leaping at the nearest Menos Grande with frightening speed and knocking it to the ground.
Seeing no more reason to hold back, Hinamori thrust her sword into the ground, all the way to the hilt, with a cry of "Bankai!" The earth beneath her feet cracked and split open, and Tobiume burst forth in the form of a giant scorpion, Hinamori perched safely on the base of the tail. With a flick of the tail, an enormous fireball flew from the stinger, slamming into the head of the second Menos Grande.
Ichigo was relieved, but not for the expected reasons. He had known that the girls could handle the two Menos Grande. He was also glad that he hadn't been forced to use his own Bankai, because while he was certain that it was different now (because of the deal with his Hollow), he was uncertain as to how it was different, and the middle of a fight was the worst time to find out.
What Ichigo had not accounted for was that he and the girls had been fighting for some time, while the two Menos Grande had only just entered the battle. So while not invulnerable to the two Bankai forms, the Menos Grande were putting up an admirable fight. And Ichigo was too busy picking off the numerous weaker (but still fairly strong by shinigami standards) Hollows that continued to appear in a near endless stream. So they were largely at a stalemate.
That is, until the tide of the battle turned again, and not in the favor of the shinigami. Well, not in the favor of the shinigami fighting for the Seireitei, at least.
Ichigo had just finished killing yet another Hollow when Yachiru suddenly yelled, "Bad Ichi-kun!"
Frowning, he immediately questioned his Hollow. "What did you do?"
Yachiru shook her head. "No, I meant Bad Ichi-kun, not Other Ichi-kun!"
It didn't take Ichigo long to get Yachiru's meaning: while she was especially fond of branding people with nicknames that included "Ichi," she only did so when the person actually had "Ichi" in their names. And since Yoruichi was "Ichi-sensei," and his Hollow was "Other Ichi-kun," there was only one Ichi left.
"Ichimaru," Ichigo hissed as Ichimaru Gin stepped out of the shadows, that same sinister smile plastered across his face. He'd even had the audacity to wear his captain's haori for easy recognition. It was almost like the man wanted to be attacked... and he got his wish rather quickly.
"So nice to see you all again," was the only thing Gin had time to say before Tobiume rushed him.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Hinamori screamed at the top of her lungs, instantly forgetting all about the Menos Grande she'd been attacking.
Gin's reaction was very troubling: he only smiled wider, easily dodging Tobiume's pincers and stinger... so easily, in fact, that it was obvious he was in no real danger, either despite Hinamori's fury or because of it.
"You're so hasty, Hinamori-chan," Gin chuckled, tilting his head to the left to avoid another thrust from Tobiume's pincers. "You should take the time to enjoy every battle properly. Or did Aizen-sama not teach you that particular lesson?"
There was a brief pause, and then Hinamori screamed in renewed rage as Tobiume attacked with even greater speed and ferocity.
And it made no difference, except it may have amused Gin even more.
"Oh, my poor little Hinamori-chan," he sighed, shaking his head. "I suppose I owe it to Aizen-sama to show his former subordinate how to properly wield the power of Bankai."
The moment he heard those words, Ichigo dismissed all other enemies from his mind and rushed to get to Hinamori. But Hollows seemed to be purposely blocking his path to her, and not for the first time, he wondered if Aizen and his henchmen could manipulate or control Hollows.
Meanwhile, Gin drew his sword, only to have it dissolve into what looked like black ashes. It was so similar to the way that Byakuya attacked that Ichigo instinctively knew what would happen next, and no matter how much he didn't want to see it, he could not turn away.
Gin's lips twisted into a wicked smile. "Pierce her soul, Kage Shinsou!"
Seven black blades shot out of nowhere and impaled their target. Cruelly, and mercilessly, not a single one of them managed to strike Tobiume, but that had never been their intent. The scorpion vanished instantly, its power source damaged to the point where Tobiume could no longer maintain her form in the real world.
Everyone involved in the battle seemed to pause and observe the sight of Hinamori, limply suspended between Gin's black blades, lifeblood dripping slowly into a spreading puddle at her feet.
Then all at once, the blades disappeared, dumping Hinamori roughly onto the ground. And then Gin was standing over her, his single black blade poised to strike the deathblow.
The thought of losing Hinamori, especially this way, was completely unacceptable to Ichigo. But he simply could not reach her in time, not with this much opposition. So he did the only thing he could: he said the one word he told himself he'd never have to say.
"OGICHI!" he yelled. "SAVE HER!"
An eerie, echoing heartbeat pulsed in Ichigo's left ear, and then his Hollow shrieked in both madness and rapture as it was set free, if only briefly. The Hollow mask tore from the side of Ichigo's head and rocketed towards Hinamori, rapidly growing in size, speed, and power as it flew. By the time it landed in front of Hinamori, it was a simple matter to shield her from Gin's sword.
Gin frowned slightly, but was not discouraged. "A good trick, Kurosaki, but she will die." Kage Shinsou's tip slammed repeatedly into the enlarged Hollow mask like a jackhammer, hitting with more force each time. Noticeable cracks began to form in the Hollow mask, and it was clear that the shield was only temporary at best.
Yachiru, who had just barely been managing to hold off both Menos Grande by herself, chose that time to make a bold move. She sheathed Suteneko, turned to the other members of the 11th Division, and ordered, "RETREAT! Grab anybody that's hurt and return to the Seireitei! Ichi-kun will take care of everything!"
Aramaki was one of many who hesitated. "But, Lieutenant! We can't just leave Captain Kurosaki here!"
"You dummy!" she shouted, leaping up and bonking him on the head with her sheathed sword. "Ichi-kun will keep holding back as long as we're here, so we don't get hurt! He was to do this alone! So everyone get lost, or I'll make you buy my candy supply for a year!"
This was undoubtedly one of the greatest threats a shinigami could get. It was well known that even Yachiru's weekly candy purchases could only either be afforded by a noble clan, or someone with just enough spiritual pressure to scare someone else into paying (the latter had worked well for both Zaraki and Ichigo). So it was no surprise that the men grabbed their wounded comrades and cleared out of the park at once.
Yachiru carefully scooped up Hinamori, and was about to run when Gin blocked her path.
"I don't have orders to kill you," Gin admitted with a smile, "but I'm sure it won't be a problem, if it means Hinamori-chan dies with you."
As fast as Yachiru was, she could not risk trying to run just then, not when she also had to carry a mortally wounded Hinamori at the same time. Gin would easily be faster under even normal circumstances, so there was no chance of escape.
"Farewell," Gin murmured as he stepped forward.
In one instant, Gin's sword was headed straight for Hinamori's neck.
In the next, two crossed katanas blocked its path. One was darker than the night itself with a chain hanging from the hilt, and the other was a white so bright that it was hard to look at for very long. Ichigo held the black sword, dressed in a somewhat more defined version of Zangetsu's coat. Ogichi held the white blade, and wore Ichigo's white haori.
Gin seemed only marginally surprised to suddenly find two contrasting versions of Ichigo standing before him, but only showed it by slightly opening his eyes. "Someone has been training, I see. But it'll take more than a poor makeup job to be rid of me."
Ichigo didn't even need to look to know that his Hollow's face was twitching in barely suppressed rage. He was glad to know that fury was directed at someone he didn't like, for a change. But there was no telling how long that would last, considering Gin's penchant for teasing his victims to the brink of insanity. There was only so much common ground between Ichigo and Ogichi, but Ichigo had been forced to recognize it quickly, as it was his only hope of keeping his Hollow under some kind of control.
"Hey, Marshmallow Face! You just gonna stand there and let this chump kill Hinamori?"
If nothing else, Ogichi was a very proud Hollow. Ichigo was the only one that could get away with insulting him, and only then because killing Ichigo would hurt both of them. So the only thing Ogichi could do when Ichigo talked trash about him was take it out on someone else.
Surprisingly, Ogichi didn't attack in his usual style, which was to cut everything in sight until it ceased to be interesting. Instead, he merely walked towards Gin, the violent black spirals of the Kuroi Getsuga blazing into existence around his body without the white sword ever being lifted. Gin's only option was to back off, or else he'd have been shredded to pulp.
"You'd better take care of the rest, partner," Ogichi said, coming to an abrupt stop just beyond Yachiru and Hinamori. "I've got something more important to do."
Ichigo shot him a dark look. "What?"
Ogichi looked over his shoulder. "You told me to save Hinamori, and that's what I'm going to do. You led everyone into this mess, so you clean it up."
"Fine. Have fun convincing everyone in Soul Society not to exorcise you."
"As if they even could," Ogichi snorted as he took Hinamori from Yachiru. He then gave the smaller girl a wary look. "You coming or staying, Pinky?"
"My place is always with Ichi-kun," Yachiru replied with a bright smile. "But if you don't take good care of Momo-chan, I'm going to hunt you down and put sparkly lip gloss on you every single day for a decade! I think Tequila Sunrise is your best shade... or maybe Neon Burgundy!"
Ogichi shot her a withering glare before the Kuroi Getsuga materialized around him again, this time ripping open a wormhole directly to Soul Society at his feet. He and Hinamori dropped out of sight, the portal shutting behind them with a loud snap.
The moment he saw Hinamori was safe, Ichigo switched his grip from the hilt of his katana to the chain on the end. Taking a deep breath, he began to swing the sword over his head, slowly at first, but gradually increasing speed until it was little more than a black blur.
For everyone in a ten mile radius, the world shook.
In all his time as a shinigami, Ichigo had never managed to gain anything beyond slight control over his enormous spiritual pressure. But what he had learned how to do was to release even that, so that his spiritual pressure blanketed (or more accurately, smothered) everything and everyone around him. It was something Zangetsu and Ogichi had never approved of, partially because it was a very easy and pathetic way to win, but mostly because it took all of Ichigo's strength to stop the flow afterwards, leaving him totally vulnerable afterwards.
Of course, this was assuming that whatever Ichigo was fighting at the time even survived the crushing force of his unrestricted spiritual pressure, and very little truly could without at least major damage.
So it was therefore quite a feat that the two Menos Grande, Gin, and several Hollows remained, although none of them were in any condition to do more than deliver a final attack and then flee.
Unfortunately for Ichigo, any attack would've done him in at that moment, as evidenced by the way he immediately hit the dirt facedown, and not even Yachiru jumping up and down on his head could rouse him.
Yachiru had a reputation for being many things in Soul Society: pest, general/specific nuisance, and annoyer of all things even remotely annoyable. She was not, however, a coward, and was very proud of the fact that she'd never left a man behind without excellent reason. To date, the only suitable reason had been voluntary abandonment at the officer's request. And since Ichigo's mouth was full of dirt, not to mention he was out cold, he couldn't exactly ask her to leave.
So Yachiru didn't. Knowing that she'd already used up the lion's share of Suteneko's power, Yachiru disobeyed the very first rule of properly handling a new zanpakuto.
She drew an untested sword in battle.
The usual rules did not apply, however. If there was any zanpakuto in Soul Society that had seen more battles than General Yamamoto's, it had to be Zaraki's sword. It was only untested in the sense that Yachiru had never used it in battle, and even then she'd watched Zaraki enough where she felt perfectly sure that his sword would accept her, eventually (she had forgotten that the sword hadn't even accepted Zaraki himself).
Strangely, Yachiru was not blown to bits, as so many rumors in the Shinigami Academy claimed one would with another's sword. Instead, she got nothing: the sword did not fly out of her hand, but she could feel nothing from it, which had always been Zaraki's complaint. But where Zaraki might have just been completely overwhelming the sword's voice with his spiritual pressure, Yachiru, who had far more control over (or at least far more willingness to control) her own powers, realized that the sword was simply refusing to communicate with her.
But this was not something Yachiru cared to find out with Gin pointing a sword straight at her.
Again, Yachiru was not a coward, and so she took a step forward, fully intending to do the best she could with sheer determination, and whatever help, if any, Zaraki's sword provided her with.
If she had been allowed to do that, Yachiru would've been very dead.
Instead, Yachiru was tossed aside as the world exploded before her eyes, bathing her and Gin in a column of blue light. The last thing Yachiru heard before blacking out was the thunderous roar of some unknown creature overhead.
Yukinko was very carefully eating her daily gelatin cup. Technically, she shouldn't have had it at all, but several of the male nurses thought she was cute, so it was usually just a small matter of batting her eyelashes or "forgetting" to button certain blouses all the way. Were she not terminally ill, Yukinko probably would've considered such behavior unbecoming at the very least. But as she was expected to die any day now, she figured using mild flirting to get gelatin was allowed.
She was eating it carefully because eating gelatin with a stuffed lion tucked under one arm is indeed rather awkward. But Yukinko could not bring herself to put Kon down, except when she showered, and even then he was placed along the towel rack with an assortment of feminine products. Uryu would no doubt be impressed with how attached she had become to his latest gift.
(Actually, Uryu did his best not to imagine how Yukinko and Kon were getting along, as he had found that imagining Yukinko doing anything other than being violently sick only served to excite him in ways that only Orihime had before, which of course made him uncomfortable, both emotionally and physically, especially in his pants.)
"This is exceptionally good gelatin, Kon-chan," Yukinko commented, licking her lips (and unknowingly causing Kon to shudder slightly). "I'll have to remember to thank that nice nurse later on."
At that point, there was a decidedly friendly knock on the door.
Yukinko grinned and tossed her empty gelatin cup into a nearby trash can. "Come in!"
The door opened, and in walked one of her absolute favorite visitors.
"Greetings, Yuki-chan," said the smiling, white-haired man as he crossed the room and leaned down to give her an affectionate peck on the forehead.
"Hello again, Shiro-san," she replied, beaming up at him. There was a shocked gasp, and Yukinko peered around him to see a dark-haired girl about her age at the door, with a scandalized look on her face. "Oh, you brought a friend!"
"Yes, I did. This is one of my employees. Come in, Rukia," the man said, gesturing to his companion.
Hesitantly, Rukia entered the room, bowing stiffly to Yukinko.
Yukinko eyed her curiously. "Is there something wrong?"
"No, Yukinko-sama," Rukia said at once, wincing as the man gave her a sharp look. "I mean, Yukinko-san!"
"Um, okay," Yukinko answered.
The man shook his head and turned back to Yukinko. "I come bearing gifts, as usual, my dear."
"Actually, I'd love it if you could get me some ice to chew on first, Shiro-san," Yukinko murmured sweetly.
"At once, Yuki-chan." The man gave Rukia another look before hurrying out of the room.
"He's not really your employer, is he?" Yukinko asked at once.
"No. He's more like my boss," Rukia replied slowly.
"Oh. Well, that explains it. You must not be used to people being so informal with him."
"No. He is a highly respected man."
"He's also a little nutty," Yukinko giggled.
Rukia gaped at her. "Take that back!" she cried in outrage.
"Well, he is! You know what he told me when I first met him? He said I was the reincarnation of his dead older sister. Weird, huh?"
Rukia pressed her lips together hard, as if she was trying to keep herself from shouting that it wasn't weird at all. It was just really, really true. So true that it almost had to be nuts, so Yukinko wasn't really far from wrong.
"And ever since, he's been so very nice to me. I kinda feel sorry for him. I mean, he's really sweet and all, and I enjoy his company, but he must be lonely. You should try to make sure he gets out more. I'm not going to be here forever, you know. He has to find someone else he can be friends with. Otherwise, he might take it hard when I do die."
Before Rukia could reply, the man returned with a cup filled with ice.
"Oh, thank you so much!" Yukinko gushed as she began munching on the ice.
"Forgive me, but how long have you been here, Yukinko-san?" Rukia asked.
"Hmm. It must be six or seven years now."
"And how long do patients usually stay here, on average?"
Yukinko's smile dimmed somewhat. "The official policy only allows them to stay for six months maximum."
"This doesn't strike you as odd? That they've been telling you you're going to die for seven years, when you should've passed on in the first six months?"
"Well, I'm obviously ill, and I don't think I'd be in a hospice if I had any chance of improving. So even if I'm not going to die tomorrow, or even this year, I still required special care. Unless you think it's normal to constantly cough up blood?"
"Actually," Rukia began, just before the man elbowed her sharply. "OW! Captain Ukitake, that-OW! Would you stop doing that?!"
"You are not being a very dependable lieutenant at the moment, Rukia," Ukitake informed her. "I didn't swear you to secrecy just so you could tell her everything."
"You're not going to fire her, are you?" Yukinko asked worriedly.
"No, I'll probably just forbid her from letting her girlfriend sleep over."
"CAPTAIN!" Rukia screeched, her face bright red.
"See? Not so nice when someone blabs your own personal truths, is it?"
"Fine! You want some truth?!" Rukia snapped, glaring at him. She turned back towards the bed and said loudly, "I'm not wearing any underwear!"
This was completely false, naturally.
Although no one would ever know it, from the way Kon tore himself out of Yukinko's arms and flung himself at Rukia's legs. Had she not moved, Kon would've landed in perfect position to peer up her dress. Instead, Rukia kicked him in the face and proceeded to stomp on his head.
Yukinko took this rather well: she blinked and slowly turned to Ukitake, who was having a hard time keeping his composure. "So... does this mean you really are my little brother?"
"The youngest of fourteen little brothers," he replied proudly. "And I must say it was lucky you were born first, or our father might've given up hope for a girl around son number eight and stopped trying. Then I wouldn't be here."
"But since you are, can I please have my Kon-chan back? Even if he is a perverted little thing, he's still mine."
"Very well," Ukitake sighed. "Rukia. Enough."
Rukia scowled and punted Kon over to Ukitake, who dusted the stuffed lion off on his coat before handing it back to Yukinko.
"So what was I like? You know, before?" Yukinko asked.
"A woman of infinite kindness and, at the same time, one whose skill with a sword went unmatched for decades. You were the first Ukitake to become a Gotei 13 Captain, and none of us has since quite reached the level of fame that you did."
"Wait a minute!" Rukia cried. "You don't mean she's the legendary Captain Ukitake of the 4th Division, do you? She's the White Waterfall? Impossible! She never died!"
"That Soul Society knew of," Ukitake corrected. "After she walked away from the Gotei 13, we completely lost track of her. Anything could've happened to her after that point, including death."
"How about a splitting headache?" Yukinko murmured, wincing. "I don't feel good..."
Ukitake immediately inspected her forehead. "This is bad. Another of your powers was sensing incredibly high spiritual pressure, just before major battles. If you're picking up on something now, then-"
"It's Ichigo!" Rukia and Kon shouted. Kon immediately tried to pretend he didn't care, but he kept shooting Rukia anxious looks, as if wondering why she wasn't running to help their favorite knucklehead.
"Captain, I-" Rukia began.
"I'll be right behind you," Ukitake assured her.
Rukia nodded and performed a spectacular headfirst leap out of the open window, which almost certainly shortened Yukinko's life just from watching it.
"I'll return after things have settled down, Yuki-chan," Ukitake promised, patting her head affectionately.
"Be safe, little brother," she murmured. "I don't want either of us to die before I see you again."
He nodded and turned to exit through the window as well.
"Wait! What's my name? My real... uh, old name?"
Ukitake smiled. "Oh, that. It's-"
"BIG BOOBIES!"
Orihime sighed as a child-sized weight thumped into her side and latched on with a surprisingly strong grip. She reached down to pat the pink head she knew she'd find there. "It's nice to see you again, Yachiru, but I'm sure I've asked you never to call me that. Several times, in fact."
"Oh, right!" Yachiru giggled. "I forgot! Sorry, Ori-onee. But where's Ichi-kun?"
"Sleeping in my room," Orihime replied, frowning as she went back to carefully soaking fresh bandages in antiseptic. Normally, she would've immediately used her Shun Shun Rikka to heal Ichigo, but it simply wasn't possible now. She'd used their power far too much in rescuing Ichigo and Yachiru, even with Kouryou's help. Ichigo would just have to heal the old-fashioned way until her fairies had recovered.
"Your room?" Yachiru asked, clearly confused. "We're at your house? But we were in the park..."
"Kou-kun and I saved you two," Orihime explained. "Um, Tatsuki helped. But she's not talking to me right now, since I needlessly put myself in danger, or something."
Yachiru blinked slowly.
"My son is making sweets in the kitchen," Orihime offered, knowing Yachiru would only pick up on one word.
"Sweets, sweets, sweets!" Yachiru chanted as she ran into the kitchen, only to find Kouryou standing on a stool and leaning over the counter, slathering large amounts of chocolate frosting on cupcakes. He spared her a brief glance, then went back to work.
There was really nothing to note about the boy, and Yachiru was about to ignore him entirely in favor of the cupcakes.
But then he straightened up, pulled out a butcher knife, laid it lazily across his shoulders, and began tapping it absently in a manner so familiar that it made Yachiru's heart skip a beat.
"Ken-chan?" she whispered softly.
Kouryou frowned at her. "Kou-kun," he said slowly, thinking she might be on the same learning curve as his mother sometimes was.
Yachiru's face fell. "Oh..."
The disappearance of her smile made Kouryou uncomfortable, for no reason that he could explain. He had no special fondness for girls, although he had noticed that his mothers were girls as well. He didn't even know Yachiru, beyond a few pictures that Orihime kept on her nightstand. Although now that he thought about it, it had been quite satisfying to save her from the white-haired man with the creepy smile, and he had refused Tatsuki's offer to carry Yachiru for him without a second thought. Something about carrying Yachiru on his back had just felt... familiar, and he hadn't wanted to lose it too soon. Then there was the way her own sword seemed to pulse and shine in time with his own.
"Want to lick the spoon?" he finally asked, shifting slightly to make room for her on the stool.
There was a blur of pink, and then Yachiru was beside him, happily licking the chocolate covered spoon. Her eyes went wide, and she gave him a meaningful look. "When you grow up, I'm going to marry you, and you'll make chocolate for me every single day."
Kouryou knew nothing of marriage, as it had never come up in conversation with his mothers. Despite that, he knew a compliment when he heard one, and cooking for Yachiru, even every day, sounded like a good deal to him. If nothing else, it meant he'd always have a friend around. Still, even a very young man had to cling to his principles. "Only if I can make lemonade sometimes, too."
Yachiru had to forcibly restrain herself to keep from smothering him with kisses.
Hinamori woke up to two unpleasant sensations: crippling pain, and the feeling that someone was leering at her. Neither of these lessened as she gradually became aware of her surroundings. She was lying in one of the beds in the 4th Division, so that was something, at least.
"Don't thank me for saving you or anything," said a voice near her head. "I only dragged your cute little ass back here, despite how much shit I had to put up with to do it."
She blinked. That had sounded like Ichigo, only far more scowly. Downright pissed, actually, which Ichigo rarely ever actually was without good reason. Also, he didn't curse when a girl was present: he'd been around young girls for far too much of his life to fall out of the practice.
"You're the Hollow," Hinamori decided, just before Ogichi stepped into view, wearing Ichigo's captain's haori. "Where's Ichigo?"
"Probably still getting his ass kicked in the human world," Ogichi sniffed. "I wouldn't worry, he has the pinkhead with him."
"I should be with them," Hinamori murmured, lowering her head as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes.
"Uh, no. The pinkhead practically ordered me to bring you back here. And what the hell were you thinking, trying to take on a former captain by yourself? You ever do that again, and I'll kill you myself."
Hinamori stared at him in surprise. He actually sounded... upset. "You don't want me to die?"
"Why the hell would I want you dead?" Ogichi snapped. "That would kill Ichigo, and just make it harder for me to continue existing. Besides, I-"
"What? Like me?" she asked in disbelief.
"If by 'like' you mean 'wouldn't mind fu-'"
"Never mind," Hinamori sighed, making a face.
Frowning, Ogichi stepped forward and seized her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Bottom line? You're important to him, so you're important to me. Aside from that, you're one of the few women I can tolerate seeing alive. So don't make me change my mind."
"...you DO like me!" Hinamori cried in shock. "But... it's supposed to be Ichigo!"
"Doesn't matter if he does or doesn't, sweet cheeks. He'll never actually do anything about it. Which is the main difference between he and I. Lucky you."
There were a million reasons that Hinamori should've been disgusted. Yet she could only seem to find reasons that didn't seem so bad. He had saved her and brought her back to the Seireitei, at great and obvious risk to his continued existence. He was technically part of Ichigo, which was better than some random guy she had no attachment to. Anyway, it would probably be so horrible that Hinamori would lose all desire to ever have sex again... which might be a good thing, if she could never have Ichigo himself. And, if nothing else, this might be the perfect way to gain some control over the Hollow, which she was supposed to be doing, anyway.
"I'm seriously wounded, though," Hinamori commented. "I'll probably bleed on you."
He shrugged. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
Ichigo was not accustomed to waking up in other people's beds. It just hadn't happened much, especially since that disturbing incident where he'd woken up in Tessai's arms. That was just... ugh.
This time, he was facedown in a pillow that smelled like someone else. A woman, from the scent, who used little or no perfume, but a soap that smelled suspiciously like caramel-covered beets.
"Orihime," he said at once.
"Yes, Ichigo?" came the immediate reply from somewhere to his left.
"Please tell me you have some clothes on."
"Not really..."
Ichigo peeked. Not because he wanted to look, but because Orihime's logic didn't always match up with his. And sure enough...
"Orihime, you ARE wearing some clothes."
"But it's less like clothes and more like a nightshirt."
"...which still counts as some clothes."
"Really? I didn't think so..."
His brain was starting to hurt, and they'd barely been talking for a minute. He needed to focus on something else before his head exploded. "Is that a purple dragon on your supposed non-clothing?"
"You like it?" she asked excitedly, spreading out her shirt and flattening it over her chest.
Ichigo closed his eyes. Tightly. And wished for super glue. Or that Orihime would stop unknowingly molding the flimsy nightshirt to her shapely body within the next few seconds. She wasn't doing it on purpose, of course, but Ichigo had just gotten out of a battle to the death, so it was completely unreasonable to torment him that way.
"Kou-kun really likes them," Orihime was saying. "He's got dragons all over his room."
"Why are we in the same bed?" Ichigo finally asked.
There was a pause.
"Well. You're hurt. I couldn't just leave you. It wouldn't be right, and... and..."
"And?"
"And I really didn't want to put you anywhere else."
Ichigo didn't know what to say to that. So he carefully sat up and looked at her.
Orihime seemed small and vulnerable in the dark, like a lost little girl... or maybe that was just the overall effect of the childish nightshirt.
"I should go," he said after a few tense minutes of silence.
"Please don't," Orihime whispered, lowering her head. "You're still hurt, and I haven't seen Yachiru in ages, and Tatsuki will beat you up if she sees you walking around already, and, and, we can order out and you can tell me how you've been, and I promise I won't cook!"
Ichigo frowned. "Orihime..."
"Don't make me beg, Ichigo. If you ever felt anything for me, please don't make me beg you to stay..."
There was a tiny voice in Ichigo's head that sounded suspiciously like Yachiru, or perhaps Yuzu, and it was insisting that he should do something incredibly foolish and romantic, like kiss Orihime to make her stop feeling so pathetic. But another voice, which unfortunately sounded a great deal like Uryu, countered that Orihime would not welcome such an advance, and that it would in fact destroy the semblance of a friendship they did still have.
Ichigo was not without some common sense. He understood now that women worked on a large series of complicated, hidden signals, and that as a man, he might be familiar with maybe two of them (according to Rukia's last count, anyway). At any rate, he knew for certain that leaving would be a bad move. Logic demanded that he do something to make Orihime feel better, but kissing still seemed a bit much. He could not, in fact, ever recall touching Orihime beyond taking her hand to help her up off of the floor. This suddenly seemed like a huge oversight, and with no further thought, Ichigo leaned forward and carefully gave Orihime a hug.
As far as hugs went, it was not one of his better ones. It was awkward and downright uncomfortable. It was nearly as bad as trying to hug Karin while sharp objects were handy. But Orihime stopped making that little sniffling noise that tugged at his heart, so he held on until she gently pushed him away a few minutes later.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
"Don't do that," he grumbled. "If anything, I should be thanking you for saving me. In fact, I will. So if you ever need anything, I-"
"Anything?" Orihime interrupted softly.
Ichigo stared at her, wondering why he suddenly felt very uneasy. "Well, anything within reason, that's in my power to give, I promise I'll do it." He felt fairly sure that she'd want something silly, like a dog that only barked on Sundays, or a bag of gummy aardvarks.
"There is one thing I've wanted for a while," Orihime admitted, "but I'm afraid you'll say no. And it is a little unreasonable..."
"Come on, Orihime. I mean, it's you. It can't be that unreasonable."
Her face fell. "I hope you still feel that way after I tell you. I can't even say it out loud..."
"So why don't you whisper it in my ear?" Ichigo suggested.
Orihime nodded and crawled over to him, cupping her hands around his ear. She told him exactly what she wanted, and even repeated it twice so there could be no mistaking what she was asking for.
Even after she was done, Ichigo didn't move. He couldn't believe that Orihime, of all people, would ask something like that of him. While it wasn't completely unreasonable, it was still intensely intimate, and life altering for both of them.
Aside from that, Tatsuki would murder him in his sleep.
But when he looked into Orihime's eyes, he couldn't say no, no matter how bad an idea it was to give in. In her eyes, he could see years of pain that he had unknowingly caused, simply by being unknowing. And he could do nothing else to hurt a friend so kind and pure.
But for the life of him, he could not even begin to imagine why Orihime would want to bear his child, or what she would do with it afterwards.
"Oh, Captain, please, not so hard!"
"I'm sorry, Kiyone, but I have to be rough with you. I can't afford to have my lieutenant unprepared. Now, widen your stance, and please, stop flinching."
"I can't help it, Captain Hitsugaya! You're so powerful..."
"AH HA!" Rangiku shrieked triumphantly as she burst into the private courtyard...
...only to find Hitsugaya and Kiyone staring at her dumbly, their swords still crossed.
"I can't believe you two! You've been together almost a week now, and no action! It's unhealthy is what it is! You need to work off that sexual tension!"
Hitsugaya opened his mouth to say that there never had been any, but he'd been down this road with Rangiku before, and knew that denying it would result in a twenty minute lecture on why he was wrong. So instead, he said, "We are. Now leave so we can finish, please."
"I'm afraid you can't order me around anymore, my dear, sweet Shiro-sama," Rangiku said with a wide grin.
"You are NEVER to call me that again," Hitsugaya growled.
"Oh, I think I have to. It's my new pet name for you! Feel free to use it as well, Kiyone!"
Kiyone looked torn for exactly three seconds, before Hitsugaya glared at her. "That would be inappropriate, Captain Matsumoto."
"No wonder you two haven't done anything, if you're this boring," Rangiku sighed, shaking her head. "It's too bad Rukia's gone, she's always fun to tease..."
"Tell me you are not going around looking for people to tease!" Hitsugaya demanded. "You should be working!"
"I'll work if you'll hold Kiyone's hand for ten seconds. And I might even consider not calling you Shiro-sama all of the time."
Hitsugaya turned bright red. He hadn't really been thinking when he'd kissed Kiyone, and since then he'd barely touched her. So why did the very thought of holding her hand make him break out in a cold sweat?
"Oh, you poor things," Rangiku groaned, drawing them both into a group hug. "I'll see that you get together, even if I have to lock you in a cell with Renji to make you see how lucky you are. Five minutes with him these days and you'll hook up just so you'll have someone to plug your ears for you."
"Is he still going on about losing Rukia to Nemu?" Kiyone asked.
"No, now he won't shut up about those damn bunny stickers he got from Captain Unohana. He's still hoping to impress Rukia, I think. Of course, it might be more effective if Rukia was even here in the first place. She and Captain Ukitake are still in the human world. Ichi-kun and the others are, too. I wonder if Ichi-kun and Rukia set it up that way on purpose, just so they could have a little forbidden tryst between missions?"
"They could just be doing their jobs," Hitsugaya snapped, "unlike some people I could name!"
"Oh, you shouldn't be so mean, Shiro-sama!" Rangiku whined, ruffling his hair affectionately. "Kiyone's new, she can't help it."
"HEY!" Kiyone cried.
Ichigo was a virgin, largely by choice. He'd just never had much time for girls back when he was all human, other than Tatsuki and Rukia. And they were so much like boys that they didn't really count in his mind. Back then, Orihime had just been Tatsuki's odd friend.
If anyone had told Ichigo then that she would be his first, depending on his mood, he would've either snorted or given a short nod of approval. Orihime wasn't ugly (far from it), and most of the boys he could think of would've been insanely jealous. But he had no real connection with her, and couldn't really see himself just approaching her, or anyone else, for sex.
Of course, now that he was sitting in Orihime's bedroom, waiting for her to return from tucking in Kouryou and Yachiru, he felt very silly.
SHE had approached HIM for sex. Well, really she just wanted the RESULTS from sex. In fact, Orihime had never mentioned sex at all in her strange request. She'd only expressed interest in having his child. A small part of his brain sincerely hoped that she could be talked into doing this by artificial means.
Ichigo happened to know of a sperm bank only an hour or so away from his house, as his father had taken him there once to teach him "how men were made." Ichigo had been massively, mentally scarred, and when Karin found out, she took Isshin's car keys, and for three whole months, demanded to know where he was going on a daily basis before she would give them up.
If only Karin were around to protect him now. But he didn't want Orihime beat up, so maybe Yuzu would be better. Although Yuzu was likely to turn bright red if sex was even implied, much less mentioned outright. Uryu would be perfect for killing the mood, but Ichigo suspected that would only give the Quincy another reason to hate him.
Orihime returned far before he was ready, and Ichigo could only stare at her as she crossed the room and sat beside him on the end of the bed.
"So there's this place on the other side of town," Ichigo blurted out.
"I'd rather do this here," Orihime murmured.
Ichigo's eyes widened. "Have you, um... ever done this before?"
"No. But I'm certain I don't want to do it anywhere else."
"But, if you've never done it, how do you-"
"Ichigo," Orihime said softly, staring at the floor. "I know... I'm probably not the person you imagined being your first. I know you don't like me the same way I like you. But you promised, and you always keep your word. I've always admired that about you."
Ichigo winced slightly. Clearly, he wasn't going to get out of this. "I'm sorry, Orihime. It's just... this is really unexpected, and I don't know what to do."
"You should probably be undressed first," she suggested... and then, without waiting for a reply, Orihime reached over to help him.
He wanted to stop her, but she was being so gentle, careful to avoid upsetting his wounds, that he just sat there and let her do what she wanted. "You, uh... have to get undressed, too..." he felt the need to point out.
Orihime smiled shyly up at him. "I know... you'll just have to be patient."
"What? NO! I didn't mean...! Uh..."
"It's okay, whatever you meant," she assured him.
Once Ichigo was naked, he blushed and did his best not to look at Orihime, who immediately began taking off her own clothes. But something seemed to be wrong with his neck, because it kept trying to turn his head back towards her, and when it finally succeeded, he got his first look at a naked Orihime.
At this point, his brain officially declared it would have nothing more to do with him, if he'd done his best to avoid such a gorgeous creature for no good reason at all. Then Lil' Ichi pointed out to the brain that abandoning them now would mean it would miss out on whatever Orihime had in store for them, and Ichigo's brain predictably forgot its permanent vacation plans, not to mention everything else.
Ichigo must have been gaping, because Orihime blushed and shuffled her feet nervously as she gently took his hand and guided him to lie down on the bed with her, where they stared at each other for several moments.
"Are you sure about this, Orihime?" Ichigo finally asked. "You're not really doing anything..."
"Sorry. I'm, um, memorizing," Orihime admitted, clearly embarrassed.
"Memorizing what?"
"Everything."
Before Ichigo had a chance to really give that answer some thought, Orihime leaned forward and kissed him. This didn't completely surprise him: he had never thought that Orihime would just tear off his clothes and mount him. On the other hand, Ichigo had assumed that this was a one-time deal, and that romance would not have much of a role. But the kiss Orihime gave him was definitely romantic, or at least passionate.
Oddly enough, the kiss did nothing to inspire any additional feelings in Ichigo towards Orihime specifically. All it did was remind him how nice kissing was, and that he could do a lot more, if he stopped fighting it.
By that time, Orihime had traveled downward, and was nuzzling at Ichigo's neck when he firmly but gently seized her hair and made her look at him. "This is more than just you liking me, isn't it?" he asked.
The look on Orihime's face told him everything. "Does it matter?" she whispered, unable to meet his eyes for very long.
"So you don't want a child," Ichigo stated. "You want me."
"You're wrong!" Orihime cried at once. "I do want a child, your child! It's the only way I'll ever be able to let you go..."
He frowned. "So you don't want me?"
She smiled at him sadly. "I realized a long time ago that you would never be mine, Ichigo. So I won't be foolish enough to expect that from you. But if I can just have this one night with you, and then your child, it'll be enough."
"Wait. You're asking me to knock you up and just walk away?"
"No. But that's what you're going to end up doing. I can tell that you like your life the way it is now, and I won't interfere with your happiness. I just want a little happiness for me, too. Is that so wrong?"
"This isn't right, Orihime," Ichigo said, shaking his head. "I can't just leave you with a baby. How would you take care of it?"
"Tatsuki and Kou-kun would help me," Orihime replied. "And I know Yachiru would love to baby-sit for me. It won't be a burden, Ichigo. I could never think that of a gift from you."
He could only stare at her. "Damn, Orihime. How much do you love me, anyway?"
"Just enough," she whispered, leaning in for a second kiss. "Just enough."
This time, Ichigo leaned forward to meet her.
Rukia could only gape at the destruction surrounding her for several minutes. When she finally spoke, there was only one thing to say. "What in the world happened here?!"
"You have to ask that, knowing Captain Kurosaki better than any of us?" Captain Ukitake replied. "He attracts chaos wherever he goes."
Where they were currently standing, there had once been a park. They'd found the remains of a sign that said so. Now there was just a huge crater, with deep gouges in it here and there. None of it really fit Ichigo's style of attack, though.
Rukia knelt down and brushed her fingertips over the ground. The dirt had been pounded flat into an almost smooth substance. "Yachiru?" she murmured thoughtfully. "Could she have done this?"
"Psst! Rukia!" a voice hissed.
Rukia looked up to find Tatsuki waving frantically at her, but doing so in a manner that indicated she didn't particularly want to be seen by anyone else. Trading confused looks, Rukia and Ukitake approached her.
"If you're looking for that blockhead Ichigo, he and Yachiru are with Orihime. But you'll have to wait to see him until tomorrow. He can't be disturbed."
"He's safe, then?" Rukia asked in relief.
"As safe as he can be with Orihime looking after him, anyway."
Rukia laughed weakly. "Well, he deserves any lumps she might give him, I'm sure."
"It's the banging I'm more worried about," Tatsuki muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing. You two can stay at my place tonight, if you want."
"That won't be necessary," Ukitake replied. "Rukia, I'm going back to see Yukinko before I return to Soul Society tonight. You may stay here, if you wish."
"No... I'll go with you," Rukia said. "Now that I know Ichigo and Yachiru are okay, I should get back to my duties."
"And Nemu?" Ukitake coughed lightly into his hand.
Rukia glared at him, blushing.
"I'll tell Ichigo you stopped by, right before I break something over his head," Tatsuki promised.
"Could you tell him that's from me, too?" Rukia asked hopefully.
Sex with Orihime was a lot like eating ice cream for the first time, Ichigo decided. There was quite a bit of fumbling; the longer it went on, the messier they got; and when it was over, all Ichigo could think about was that he wanted to do it again.
But, there were the terms to think about. Orihime wanted sex and a baby, and she arguably had both now. So they were done.
Unfortunately.
Except when Ichigo started to get out of the bed, Orihime grabbed his arm.
"Wait," she whispered, trying to put a husky quality into her voice, and then stopping when she realized how weird it sounded, coming from her. "I... I think we should do it again. And maybe a third time."
Ichigo just looked at her blankly.
"It would be more inconvenient if you had to come back because I wasn't actually pregnant, wouldn't it?" she asked. "This way, we increase my chances. Of getting pregnant tonight, I mean."
"So long as there's a good reason," Ichigo lied as he returned to the bed.
Two long hours later, Orihime started to get out of bed. She got one foot on the carpet before Ichigo pulled her into his lap, drawing a squeak of surprise out of her. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"We should do it again," he said. "Just to be sure."
Orihime looked into his eyes, and smiled. "Of course."
In the end, neither of them made it out of bed until late the next morning. And when they finally did, Orihime was very much pregnant, and Ichigo was debating if he should try to convince her that she wasn't, just so he'd have an excuse to get her back into bed.
Because if he told her outright that he just wanted to have sex with her again, it would either make her very happy, or very sad, and he wasn't sure if he could deal with either reaction.
The silence between them was very strange. Ichigo felt like he was free to touch Orihime now, but didn't, because she might read too much into it, or be uncomfortable, since they weren't actually in a relationship. Orihime was mentally and physically trying to distance herself from him, because she didn't want to get used to his touch. It would only make her miss him more when he left.
Ichigo cooked breakfast, more because it gave him something to do, and because if Yuzu ever found out that he hadn't cooked at least once for the woman he'd gotten pregnant, she might never forgive him. He was so distracted that he burned half of it, anyway, but Yachiru and Kouryou had no trouble gulping it down, or coming back for seconds. Orihime had actually laughed when Ichigo asked where her garbage disposal was, just before Kouryou ate the more blackened portions with a dollop of sour cream and what could only be an unhealthy amount of steak sauce and lemon juice.
Afterwards, Orihime sent the kids outside to play, partially so she'd be alone with Ichigo, and partially because the apple tree in the yard was ready for picking, and nothing got the apples down faster than Kouryou roughhousing with someone (and unlike Tatsuki, Yachiru might actually get a kick out of being launched headfirst into a tree).
"I can't just leave you with a kid," Ichigo said at once. "I won't be a deadbeat dad. If for no other reason than my sisters would kill me."
Orihime just smiled. "I would never try to keep you from our child. You're welcome to visit whenever you can, and to stay as long as you can. I want our child to know you, and love you. Besides, deadbeats don't save the world. I'd make sure our child knew just how hard you work to keep us safe. You aren't the bad guy, Ichigo, and you never will be. Not to me. Not to us."
"Why do you love me?" he asked.
She shrugged. "Chizuru ruined lesbians for me, and even if she hadn't, Tatsuki would've turned me down. Who else was I going to love?"
"There's always Uryu."
"Well, he's gay, isn't he?"
Ichigo stared at her. He'd never wanted to hug her more. "What?" he asked, trying to keep the joy out of his voice.
"Uryu isn't gay?" Orihime asked in genuine surprise.
He grinned. "No, but I would love to hear why you think he is."
"Doesn't he have a crush on you?"
Ichigo's grin faded at once. "WHAT?"
"Isn't that why he's always so mean to you? Because he doesn't know how to approach you and tell you the truth?"
By that point, Ichigo was gaping in horror at the prospect of Orihime actually being right. The idea of Uryu being gay was funny to him. The idea of Uryu being gay for him... not so much.
"So... you think Uryu is gay, and that he likes me."
"Yes. And... who are you calling?"
Ichigo ignored her, frowning as he dialed the number to Ishida Threads. It was a bit early, but he had no doubt that Uryu would be there. And sure enough...
"What."
"It's me, damn you, and why the hell do you answer the phone that way?"
"Because I knew it was you," Uryu sighed. "Who else would call at this hour and-"
"Are you gay?" Ichigo demanded.
There was a pause.
"You think I'm gay because I don't like to be disturbed this early in the morning?"
"I don't think you're gay, Orihime does. But the way she explained it makes me wonder, so I'm asking, are you gay?"
Another pause.
"Orihime thinks I'm gay?"
"Yes, damn it, now are you? Because if you are, and you're into me, then-"
"You magnificent bastard," Uryu hissed. "How dare you. How DARE you."
Ichigo actually stopped talking. He'd offended Uryu before, but now the Quincy sounded truly pissed.
"IF I were gay, I could do much better than YOU. WORLDS better. UNIVERSES better. Entire-"
Ichigo hung up.
"Is he gay?" Orihime asked.
"No, he's just a huge jerk in the morning, but we already knew that."
"Oh no," Hinamori moaned.
Ogichi cracked open one eye and leaned back in Ichigo's CCC (Comfy Captain's Chair). Sleeping was... odd, but he was quickly getting used to it, and didn't like to be disturbed while he was doing it. He found that sleep improved his mood... and that having it disrupted only pissed him off more than usual. "What?"
"They won't preserve Captain Zaraki's title," Hinamori replied, her eyes scanning the letter in her hands.
"Why not?" Ogichi asked, only halfway interested.
"Because the title of Kenpachi is always bestowed upon the best swordsman in a generation, and that person is always the 11th Division Captain, so..."
"Ichigo doesn't have a choice in the matter, and he's the new Kenpachi whether he likes it or not?" Ogichi threw back his head and laughed maniacally. "HA! Perfect!"
"Please stop doing that," Hinamori sighed. "Everything isn't that funny."
"It is when you think about how much shit Ichigo will be in when he finally gets back," Ogichi replied gleefully. "Almost makes me want to get some manure so he'll step in it literally, too."
Hinamori gave him a look that could melt steel.
"What? I said almost." He closed his eyes again and went back to sleep.
Hinamori tried her best to choke him with her spiritual pressure, and growled in frustration when his only reaction was to scratch absently at a spot on his cheek.
"Fuckin' pesky butterflies," he grumbled, shifting slightly in his chair.
"I would be most interested to know," General Yamamoto stated, "why there is a Hollow in charge of the 11th Division."
None of the assembled captains seemed in a hurry to answer him. Finally, Captain Unohana cleared her throat quietly. "Sir, 3rd Seat Hinamori Momo, as the highest ranking 11th Division officer currently within the Seireitei, personally vouched for the... entity, both before and after I treated her. He was most anxious over her well-being, and every attempt to pry him from her side was met with extreme violence."
"How extreme?" Yamamoto asked.
Unohana didn't even blink. "All the arms were safely reattached to their proper owners. Eventually."
The old man sighed loudly. "Captain Soifon, I understand you have been observing this Hollow closely. What are your findings?"
Soifon looked as if she had been chewing on a lemon. "The 11th Division officers follow him without question. They treat him as if he's Kurosaki himself."
"That's because he is."
Everyone turned to look at Captain Chad, who had chosen that moment to finally remove his headphones.
"He is what?" Yamamoto asked.
"Ichigo. In much the same way that the Aizen you all trusted was the same Aizen that betrayed you. Two sides of the same person. Captain Soifon is both 2nd Division Captain and commander of the special forces, Captain Kurotsuchi is both creepy and sadistic, Cap-"
"We understand," Byakuya interrupted sharply, noting the way Kurotsuchi's nostrils were flaring.
"Do you? You're used to dealing with Hollows who no longer have a good side. If you try to destroy him, you'll just make him angry, or hurt Ichigo. Either way, you'd have two Divisions against you."
"Three," Unohana added serenely.
"...four," Byakuya sighed, closing his eyes.
"I'd say seven, wouldn't you, gentleman?" Ukitake asked.
Kyoraku raised a small cup of sake that he'd apparently hidden up his sleeve, and Hitsugaya rolled his eyes, but nodded.
"Nine," Renji grunted as Rangiku gave him a firm poke in the side.
Despite being a stickler for following the rules, Soifon was all too aware that the rules had led her astray during Aizen's plot. Aside from that, she was somewhat fond of Hinamori, and did not typically abandon her operatives without excellent reason. "Ten," she reluctantly added, drawing several stares of surprise. "What?! He hasn't done anything yet that Kurosaki wouldn't do in a really bad mood, anyway!"
"I trust you are going to enforce the new policy that all new captains must submit to a thorough physical examination, sir?" Kurotsuchi asked, staring straight at Yamamoto.
Yamamoto resisted the urge to roll his eyes admirably. "If you can get him to agree, Captain Kurotsuchi, feel free."
"When did this policy go into effect?" Ukitake asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Hours after Kurosaki was promoted."
"As such, he was exempt from the new ruling," Kurotsuchi added. "However, with the addition of this new... entity, his medical records are now, obviously, outdated."
"That is completely false," Unohana said at once. "While his records do not point to the Hollow being an entirely separate body, I have personally examined Kurosaki on an almost weekly basis for some time now. His recorded increases in stamina and strength are by no means unusual... for him, anyway. I have no doubt that the Hollow exhibits similar characteristics, and can accurately gauge his abilities based on Kurosaki's records."
"Educated guesswork at best," Kurotsuchi sneered. "What we need are cold, hard facts as to what this Hollow is truly capable of."
"And how would you test for that? Pushing him to the brink of his power, and thereby destroying half of the Seireitei in the process? I can guarantee that the Hollow will cooperate peacefully, if I am the one to examine him. I suspect your daughter is the only one of your subjects you can say that about, and that's only because her will is essentially a self-sacrificing, humane version of your own."
"You have no authority to speak to me that way, Captain Unohana," Kurotsuchi returned coolly.
Yamamoto sighed. "So long as Captain Kurotsuchi runs his Division effectively, his methods are not open to discussion, Captain Unohana. However, I will agree with your suggestion regarding the Hollow, for now. But I am curious as to how you plan to subdue him."
"The same way I get Yachiru to hold still for her exams, sir."
"I fail to see how a lollipop the size of a small child will help in this case."
Unohana smiled and shook her head slightly. "I'm going to keep him calm with something he is very much attached to... or perhaps I should say, someone."
Ichigo had always known he would have to go back to the Soul Society. He just hadn't realized how hard it would be. Every instinct he had told him to stay in the human world with Orihime. Even now, he didn't love her the way she'd wanted him to, and they both knew he might never. But that was no excuse to abandon the pregnant mother of his child, even if she insisted that wasn't the case. Yes, Orihime would be fine with Tatsuki and Kouryou to look after her, but the point, in Ichigo's mind, was that she shouldn't have to be fine with just them.
But no amount of arguing or pleading would change Orihime's mind: he was welcome to stay with her, but under no condition would she actually ask him to. If she had, Ichigo might very well have demoted himself to substitute shinigami again on the spot, no matter what anyone said or thought.
Orihime was right about him, though. He was happy leading the 11th Division, and even if he never resented Orihime or their child for his staying with them, he would never really be as happy as he was right now.
There wasn't much time to mull it over, though. Ururu and Hanataro had arrived that afternoon, with orders to bring Ichigo and Yachiru back the moment they were both able to travel through the senkaimon (they'd even brought a huge bag of candy in case Yachiru resisted). Orihime wasn't going to ask him to stay, and neither would Tatsuki (who was still mad at him for giving into Orihime's request).
Yachiru wasn't happy about the orders, either. She and Kouryou were getting along famously, and neither of them wanted to be separated. Aside from that, now that she knew Orihime was pregnant (Ichigo had assured her of this with a thoroughly red face), Yachiru seemed to think that Orihime and Kouryou wouldn't be safe outside of the 11th Division. She had even offered to give up her quarters for them, insisting that she'd rather bunk with Ichigo or Hinamori, anyway.
To his credit, Hanataro conveniently "forgot" to examine Ichigo for a few hours before declaring him fit to travel. But in that time, Orihime had remained firm. She was clearly not happy, not completely, but she wasn't about to admit it, not even when they were all gathered in her yard, ready to depart.
"Orihime," Ichigo said softly, staring into her eyes. "If you ask me to stay, I will."
She only smiled back, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Have a safe trip, Ichigo."
Before he could make another attempt to sway her, Yachiru leapfrogged over his head and caught Orihime's hand on the way down.
"Hey, Ori-onee! Remember, you promised to call me when the baby starts to come out, so I can be the first one to hold my new sister!"
"I won't forget, Yachiru," Orihime assured her, leaning down to kiss the top of the pink-haired girl's head. "Take good care of Ichigo for me, okay?"
"Why does everyone keep asking me to do that? Ichi-kun isn't that helpless!" Yachiru giggled wildly.
Frowning, Ichigo fished a gumball out of his pocket and threw it, watching Yachiru race after it. "So it's a girl," he murmured, his lips twitching upward slightly as Yachiru caught the gumball in her mouth and began chewing furiously.
"Well, I'm not sure," Orihime admitted. "But Yachiru has her heart set on one, and I can never say no to her."
"Then you want a girl."
"All I want is a child that's yours, Ichigo."
He wanted to say something, but his throat had gone dry, and Orihime was very carefully watching an eager Kouryou spar with a very flustered Hanataro. Instead, Ichigo merely allowed his fingers to brush against hers, and was somewhat relieved when she quickly took his hand.
"Um, excuse me," Ururu murmured softly, "but we should really be going now..."
"Right." Ichigo gave Orihime's hand a final squeeze before slowly releasing it. "Yachiru, Hanataro! Time to go!"
Hanataro practically ran over, quickly healing up a nasty cut on his arm along the way. "Such a... spirited boy," he laughed weakly, possibly from excessive blood loss.
"Bye, Kou-kun!" Yachiru shouted, waving at him. "I'll kill you if you let another girl kiss you!"
Kouryou started to wave back, then paused and swallowed loudly as he realized what she'd actually said. He quickly hid behind Orihime, who could only smile and pat his head.
Ichigo wanted to say something, but he could think of nothing that would help. So he merely stared at Orihime as Ururu drew out a huge gun, pointed it straight up, and launched a missile into the air. The missile broke apart in mid-air, which released a glowing white net that fell down and covered the group of shinigami. The world tilted for a moment, and then there was a great yank before they were dumped roughly in Captain Unohana's office.
"Still haven't worked the kinks out of that rescue net, Ururu-chan?" Unohana asked as she helped the girl up.
"At least I got it to land in the 4th Division this time, instead of that pit like last time..."
"Yes, that was rather unfortunate, but I'm sure they appreciated the rescue all the same. Or they will, if they ever wake up..."
Rukia was thoroughly exhausted. She had spent the entire morning in the archives with Nemu, learning everything she could about the late Ukitake Yachiru, former captain of the 4th Division. They'd only been allowed with Captain Ukitake's permission, and a promise that they'd have tea with him at lunchtime, so that he could share his family photo album.
All of the pictures of Ukitake Yachiru had showed a softly smiling woman, with her hair secured in a long, white braid that reached nearly to her knees. Her captain's haori seemed entirely too big for her, especially in the shoulders, but apparently she'd worn massive armor pieces underneath to protect her arms. Strangely, there were many pictures of her playing with Rukongai children, which was practically unheard of for most shinigami. Of all the pictures, Rukia's favorites had been the annual family picnics, where an army of grinning, white-haired children waved at the camera. She'd noted with an amused giggle that Captain Hitsugaya was in the latest, clearly against his will.
The rest of the day had been devoted to training with Isane, which Nemu was strangely eager about. Rukia figured Nemu had inherited some love for bloodshed from her father, and indeed Nemu later insisted on bandaging their cuts personally, with an expertise that indicated she had done it many, many times before. Even Isane commented that Nemu would've made an excellent 4th Division officer.
All of this had left Rukia so worn out that she'd dragged the other two into bed early, determined to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (she so loved that expression) the next morning.
But it was not meant to be.
For Rukia had only been sleeping for a few hours when the closet door was pulled open, and someone rudely climbed in without invitation, forcing a strangled squawk from Rukia as a heavy knee prodded roughly into her ribs. She didn't even need to see the orange hair in the moonlight from the window to know the identity of the intruder.
"Ichigo!" she snarled, punching him in the head. "What the hell are you doing in here?!"
By then, both Nemu and Isane were awake. Neither said a word, assuming that Rukia and Ichigo would come to blows, make up, and grudgingly apologize without words in just a few minutes. That was always how it worked with them.
Ichigo looked to be in a hurry though, because he skipped straight to the last step. "Sorry, guys. I need to talk to Rukia, and it can't wait."
Nemu and Isane were far too patient with Ichigo's overwhelming... "guyness," as Rukia called it, to take offense to being referred to as "guys." Really, it was Ichigo's way of calling them friends, or even sisters. Rukia... well, taking offense with Ichigo was practically her job.
"You climb into our bed without asking, and then you call us-!"
"I slept with Orihime," Ichigo muttered.
There was complete, stunned silence as Ichigo carefully tried to find a position that was actually approaching comfortable. Finally, he just picked up Rukia (she was, after all, still too stunned to protest, the smallest of the three, and the one he was most comfortable with touching inappropriately) and took her spot between Nemu and Isane, settling her back down on top of him. With anyone else it might have been weird, but Rukia just shifted slightly and tucked her head under Ichigo's chin, relaxing as he draped his arms around her waist to keep her from falling into the others.
"Don't leave anything out," Rukia instructed, and Ichigo had little choice but to obey. As he talked, he gradually became more aware that all three of his new bedmates were, in fact, female, all curvy and soft in most of the same places that Orihime had been. Consequently, he had to pause often and clear his throat or try to maneuver his crotch away from Rukia's rear. Fortunately, Rukia was smart enough to realize that Ichigo's story was having the same effect on everyone, and forced herself not to consider his erection a compliment. She was definitely going to tease him about it later, though.
"So even though she told me it was okay," Ichigo concluded what seemed like hours later, "I still feel like a total deadbeat. But I can't just quit and go be with her."
"Because you have duties here," Isane added.
Ichigo blinked. "No, because Orihime wouldn't let me."
"She guilts you into getting her pregnant, then won't ask you to stay with her," Rukia murmured. "That sounds like Orihime, alright."
"Are you kidding? That's nothing like Orihime! She's spent her whole life avoiding me-"
"Only because she was so in love with you that she didn't know what to do with herself."
"Then out of nowhere she wants sex all night-"
"Well, obviously she wasn't getting any!"
"But the baby part-"
"Her biological clock ticks like everyone else's. And since she waited this long for you, it only makes sense that she'd be rushing."
Ichigo scowled at the top of Rukia's head. "Don't make me kick you out of this bed."
"How is it my fault that you're so colossally stupid? Ichigo, you know nothing about love. For example, what would you do if I told you I was in love with you?"
"Run," Ichigo said at once, earning a whack upside his head. "Ow."
"I'm serious!"
"So was I. OW!"
"Dammit, Ichigo! This is why you're in this situation right now! You're only serious when you're too stupid to know it's wiser to quit, and otherwise you just don't care!"
"Are you still giving me grief over the fact that I saved your life?" he demanded. "Because I won't apologize for that! I owed you, dammit, and even if I didn't, it would've been like standing by while somebody killed Chad or Orihime! You were my friend, and I don't just let my friends die for no good reason! And did you forget that you weren't supposed to die in the first place?! It was all part of Aizen's scam! Why can't you ever let stuff like that go?! You act like we'd be better off if I'd just left you to-"
Isane interrupted there, because she was growing bored, and missing out on her sleep. She grabbed Ichigo's chin, tugged his head close, and kissed him more to shut him up than anything else.
Nemu was also bored, and did the same with Rukia, who had been expecting as much.
"The hell?" Ichigo grunted once Isane released him.
"You're both idiots," she sighed. "Rukia, Ichigo loves you. You're his best friend, and he'd do anything to save you. He thinks it's his job, and he's quite good at it, so stop trying to make him quit. Ichigo, Rukia worries about you because she cares so much. That's her job, and you should be used to it. Now, I want you two to kiss and make up."
Ichigo blanched. "Handshakes are more appropriate where I-"
Isane elbowed him and glared into his eyes. "Kiss her, you fool."
"Oh, come here," Rukia sighed, grabbing the sides of Ichigo's head. "I won't bite... this time."
Reluctantly, Ichigo leaned forward, wincing slightly as Rukia gave him two quick pecks on his lips. "Now you're good forever, right?" he muttered.
"For this century," she corrected with a smirk.
"Ugh. Can we get back to my problem, please?"
"You should be the Human Affairs Administrator," Nemu said at once.
"Why?" he asked dumbly.
"Because it would mean you could be stationed in Karakura, of course."
"...we have one of those?"
"No. All the more reason to create one. Although it would mean talking to Ishida a bit more."
"Damn. Okay, fine. What do I have to do?"
"Get Chad and the other captains to agree."
"Wait, YOU call him Chad?" Ichigo asked in disbelief.
"He insisted," Nemu murmured, "right after he gave me a heavy metal CD."
Everyone stared at her blankly.
"You like heavy metal?" Rukia finally asked.
"It's mostly shouting and screaming. It reminds me of home... whenever my father was there, anyway."
"...okay, time for bed," Isane said firmly.
Ichigo frowned. "We're already in-"
"Time for SLEEPING in bed, Ichigo."
"Oh." He moved to leave, but Rukia whacked him again.
"Don't be stupid; I've just gotten comfortable."
"But-"
"We're not going force ourselves on you, Ichigo, but we are going to have our way with you. And our way means shut up and lie there like a good pillow." With that, Rukia laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
Ichigo felt weird for all of ten seconds. Then he remembered that he, too, was exhausted, and decided that sleeping with Rukia and the girls probably couldn't get him in any more trouble than, say, impregnating a sweet, naive young woman and then leaving her to fend for herself.
"Damn, I suck," he grumbled.
"We know, now go to sleep," Rukia muttered, poking him in the ribs.
End of Chapter 9.
Next Chapter: Ya-punzel
In which Orihime gives birth, Ogichi gets a new name, Yachiru finds her namesake, and Ichigo gets a new job. Also, Rangiku reaches Bankai, and Zaraki reflects on death, sorta.
Endnotes:
Kage Shinsou (Shadow Divine/God Spear):
Gin's sword melts into his shadow, then re-emerges in any nearby shadow that Gin sees fit. He can form up to six additional copies of his sword, all of which strike roughly at the same target.
Now, I can't defend my take on Komamura's sexual prowess. But I do know that he has considerable experience controlling massive objects that have pointy ends and make repeated thrusting motions, so...
Does Ichimaru have a Bankai? I wasn't sure, so I just gave him one.
Let me stress again: Kouryou is NOT Zaraki (in much the same way that Kagome is not Kikyou, but let me stop before we get too deep into THAT can of worms). So it's not icky that Yachiru's into him. Not really.
Is there an established reason why Ichigo never seems to notice that Orihime is, in fact, a hot girl? I'm curious. And considering how downright noticeable she makes herself by crashing into things and saying weird stuff, it's hard to accept that Ichigo could essentially ignore her, right up until she went missing on him. Kind of makes you think twice about the boy's sexuality... or at least his eyesight.
I don't think Uryu is gay. On the other hand, only so many types of people wear capes, and Uryu is not a superhero or a soul singer. And yes, I stole "magnificent bastard" from Seinfeld, what of it?
Coincidentally, I now have some real life experience with a hospice: my father recently passed away in one. I can't say how that will impact my writing at this point, but I suspect updates will come less frequently, at the very least.
This chapter title inspired by "Sleeping Beauty," a tale of a princess living with seven little men. Hmm. An attractive narcoleptic woman sharing a house with seven small, lonely men. I don't think I need to say anything else. Oh, wait, that's Snow White.
