Cara was worried. Not only did she have to defend herself against the ruthless emotional torture that Kylo Ren so seemed to enjoy, but now General Hux was looking for a reason to use her against him. If the General ever found out what she meant to Ben – or at least, what she meant to his past-self – the jig would be up. She would not be able to prepare herself for whatever it is they would have in store for her. She would not be able to prepare herself to be used as a game piece for the power feud between two mad men.
What would she do then? Would she have to pick a side to protect herself? Would it be wiser for her to lend herself to the side of the General; who would most likely use her relentlessly in a mad bid to get Kylo Ren to show his true colors? Or would she give herself over to Kylo Ren, subjecting herself to an endless stream of emotional abuse that would only serve to further his own pleasure?
She just could not be sure.
It was all she could do not to pull her hair out. Everything was frustrating her to no end. How had she ended up here? How had her simple life on Jakku transformed into this real life nightmare?
She had always thought that if she ever came face to face with Ben again that she would be elated. They would look at each other for a while, see how they both had changed over the years before rushing to hug each other and pick up where they left off: as friends, as confidantes, as family. Perhaps, one day, it could have led to something more. Instead, she had ended up losing her closest friend in the worst way possible. He had forgotten who he was. He had forgotten where he came from.
Her frustration turned into anger, and her anger turned into boredom. She realized that Kylo – Ben – was letting her stew in her own misery. It had been days since she had seen him. It would probably be many days more.
Her boredom led to her decision to attempt another exploratory mission around the ship. Maybe this time, she could actually find something useful, even make contact with someone that could help her.
She once more took her position behind the door, waiting for another unsuspecting Stormtrooper to bring in her food. Cara just hoped it was not FN-2187, the soldier who had been so nice to her. She did not want to give the one person on this ship who had shown her any kindness a reason to hate her.
Suddenly, the door opened; it was a strange occurrence though, as she had not heard any keys jingling in the door before it swung forward. Before the implications of this could dawn on her however, he strode in, his black robes billowing behind him, his lightsaber lightly smacking against his leg as he walked. It dawned on her that he had neglected to wear his mask today. It unsettled her. She had hoped she would never have to see his face again. Realizing that it was probably his intention to disturb her, she tried to sprint out the door before it could fall shut again. She did not need another confrontation with him right now. He knew though, as he always did, and used the Force to slam the door closed before she could even put her foot through the opening.
"There is no use in exploring the ship. There is nothing you will find now that you did not already on your first failed experimental mission." He said, that same menacing tone to his voice that had haunted her dreams since the reveal of his identity.
She did not respond to his statement. She had questions of her own. Questions she hoped would unnerve him as much as his presence unnerved her. If she was to undergo a confrontation with him, she may as well use it to her advantage.
"Why are you not wearing your mask?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer.
"Does it not comfort you to see a familiar face?" He sneered. The tone of his voice was filled with malice, but his eyes revealed something else. Conflict. Even though she knew a response like that was imminent, it still stung.
"You already know that it does not. There has to be another reason for you to show me your face again." She said, probing him further. He seemed to contemplate his response carefully before answering – something he used to do when they were younger and she asked him a particularly personal question. The familiar mannerism hit her like a ton of bricks. Confronting him was hardest whenever she was reminded of who he really was, who he used to be.
"There is great advantage in being able to see how someone reacts to your expression. When I told you the reality of who I was, my words did not sink in. It was only when you saw my face that the truth of your situation finally hit you. It was only then that you saw that Ben Solo had truly been replaced by Kylo Ren. The terror on your face, the wide-eyed look of understanding in your eyes – those were things I would never have been able to enjoy had I merely told you who I used to be to you. You needed to see it to believe it."
Somehow, Cara knew exactly how to respond. She knew exactly how to make him angry.
"I understand your reasoning. If it weren't true, I would not be able to see the conflict in your eyes right now. I would not be able to see the obvious difference between the tone of your voice and the slight tremor in your cheek. The implications of that are just astounding; you are not as sure of you-"
He cut her off, his hands curling into fists by his side.
"I am not the one who is afraid here." He snapped at her, trying to regain his composure.
"You are not as sure of yourself as you make out to be." She said, finishing her previous thought.
His hand moved slowly towards his lightsaber, his fingers curling around the hilt as if trying to steady himself through his weapon. She noticed the action, a twinge of worry going through her mind. She pushed it aside though, willing herself to be strong enough to anger him further. She needed to get through to him. She needed him to give in to his inner conflict.
"Are you aware that General Hux came to see me a few days ago?"
At her remark, his fingers tightened even further around the cold metal of his lightsaber, his knuckles straining against the confines of his black leather gloves. She could tell that she was pushing him towards the edge, right where she wanted him.
"He came to see me because he wanted to know why I was here. He wanted to know why you decided to keep me here for so long. He wanted to know what I meant to you."
"You mean nothing to me." He whispered, his voice dangerously low. His words hurt, but she carried on.
"He seems to think differently."
"He is a fool."
"Then give me a different reason as to why I'm here. If I truly mean nothing to you, what possible use could I be? I am not a resistance fighter, I am not a Jedi. There is no reason for me to be here, unless you are scared to let me go!" She yelled at him, her emotions getting the best of her. She could still tell that her strategy was working though. His breathing was labored and his shoulders were heaving.
"You – mean – nothing – to me!" He screamed, all his frustration and anger clearly noticeable in every syllable he spoke. He tore his lightsaber from its holster, the energy from the weapon casting her cell in an eerie red glow. He smashed it against the wall, causing the same amount of destruction she had seen in the hallway right outside her door. He kept on swinging the weapon with every ounce of strength he could muster. She backed away from him, afraid of this side of him she had brought forth. She had never seen his face contorted with such hatred before.
Suddenly, the devastation stopped, and he slowly turned towards her, his lightsaber still humming with energy. Every step he took towards her, she took another step back. This reaction was worse than what she had hoped for.
"Did you truly think you could anger me into reverting back to Ben Solo? Was that truly your plan?" He asked. His voice was calm, too calm, and it was more frightening than being yelled at.
"Pathetic. A pathetic attempt from a mere villager. Did you really think that something as simple as angering me would bring back the life you've lost? That I would run into your arms, and all would be well? That I would kiss you, as I did in one of your precious memories? Is that what you hoped for?" He continued, once again pinning her between his body and the wall.
She stayed silent, too stunned to move. This was worse than anything she had encountered with him before.
"Answer me!" He yelled, swinging his lightsaber through her room once more. Before she could have the chance to move out of harm's way though, his weapon caught her – burning a gash into her arm. She wailed out in pain, the burning sensation on her arm clouding her thoughts and almost allowing her to forget what she was currently dealing with. The pain was all she could feel. It was all she could think about.
As soon as he heard her cry of agony, he stopped, weapon in mid arc. He looked at her on the floor, desperately trying to stop the bleeding with her hand, pressing hard against her own arm in a futile attempt to stop her wound from hurting. It was no use though; he knew that from experience. A sickening feeling seemed to overtake him – he had wanted to hurt her, with his words, with his strength. Now that he had though, it loosened a reaction within him that he had not anticipated. He felt sorrow.
Before he let his new found guilt surpass his self-restraint, he ran out of the small cell – leaving his prisoner to tend to her wound on her own.
A/N: I'll have a new chapter up soon; thank you for all the support!
