AN: The continued reviews for this story have been great. Please keep them coming even if you have some constructive criticism. Hey, no one's perfect.

Ellie Porter is dead.

She was gang raped and burned alive. A life wasted. One day Olivia tells her she's found her child and the next someone discovers her body. Though her opinion of the young woman was low, Olivia wouldn't have wished that type of barbaric, violent death on anyone.

Trying to find a way not to feel guilty about why it happened is something she's struggling with. Before Declan handed back the reins, he told her that they'd done all they could by putting her in a halfway house. That no one made her leave.

But if Ellie hadn't agreed to testify for them, she'd probably still be alive.

At least she got to hold her son one last time before she was killed. That's the only saving grace. Now they have to work on finding the one responsible because for all his confessing, they know Tino is just a street thug.

He didn't have the juice to green light Ellie's murder. They know both he and his mom are involved in human trafficking. But what they need to find out is who the person pulling the strings is. And it's going to be harder to do having one less detective.

Amaro's out of the unit, at least for the moment.

IAB's making him do his penance working traffic duty in the 12th precinct. It seems to be where they send all of their screw ups. Cassidy was exiled to the same place. Hopefully it's been cleaned up since the fiasco that almost got her ex killed.

Rollins knocks before entering the Captain's office Olivia's been occupying since Declan left to go back undercover.

"Come in," she says.

"We have a 19 year-old victim at Mercy General," Amanda tells her. "Fin's already on a call, you want me to go?"

"Yeah and take Simmons with you," she orders, not bothering to look up from what seems to be an endless stack of paperwork.

Amanda makes a face about the newest and hopefully temporary member of the squad.

"It's pretty bad Sergeant and he's only been here a few days," she points out. "Maybe I should go alone."

Olivia stops moving her pen to make eye contact with the blonde.

"We were all green at some point," she asserts. "He can only fill out paperwork for so long," she adds. "It's time for him to get his feet wet."

She remembers puking after hearing her first vicious rape story. Everyone knows Special Victims isn't for the faint of heart. And if you manage to stomach being exposed to the truly horrible things one human being can do to another, you might have a shot at being successful in the unit.

The SVU rookie should at least be given the chance.

Melvin Simmons came highly recommended by his C.O. at the 7th precinct. He graduated the academy at the top of his class, scored highly in marksmanship, interrogation techniques, defensive driving and physical training.

But he's not just another jock. He entered the academy five years ago with a master's in criminal psychology and a minor in forensic accounting. And thanks to two years in the Peace Corps he's fluent in three languages. The rumor mill suggests that he's just biding his time until he gets picked up by one of those alphabet soup agencies like the FBI or ICE.

Only, Simmons requested the transfer.

Olivia doesn't know if he's just trying to pad his resume or if like Huang, he's an egghead whose genuinely one of the good guys. With his GPA, entrance scores, stellar academy performance and nods from several supervisors he probably could've gone anywhere in the NYPD or the country for that matter.

Everyone has their own reasons for requesting SVU. All she wants is someone who can do the job. His motives are his business and so long as he doesn't start getting into trouble like Amaro, she's willing to keep an open mind about him.

"Start the interview and let him jump in where he feels comfortable," suggests Olivia. "He'll find his own rhythm," he tells her. "You did."

Things are still a bit strained between the two women. With the senior detective, trust is something that's hard to earn and easy to break. But with each new case Olivia gives Rollins another inch of rope. Either she'll use it to tether herself to the unit or she'll hang herself with it.

"Yes sergeant," says Amanda before exiting the office.

It's only been a few days since Lt. Murphy left but Olivia had already forgotten the mountain of paperwork that can accumulate in such a short amount of time. And as if she doesn't have enough to do already, she's going to try to make Noah's latest hearing. She hopes they have better news than the last time she went.

Two knocks interrupt her trail of thought.

"Come in," she tells the new guest.

"Hey Liv," Fin says, walking into the office.

"Hey," she responds. "You get anything from Alicia Johnson?"

He furrows his eyebrows and cocks his head at his longtime colleague turned boss.

"Uh yeah," he answers. "After stuttering through two different stories she finally copped to it being her coach," he tells her. "She's at Hudson on a track scholarship," he advises her. "Told her he'd bench her and she'd lose eligibility if she told anybody."

"So where is he?"

"Cooling his heels in central booking," he responds. "Unfortunately he missed the last bus to The Tombs and he has to be there all weekend until his ass gets arraigned on Monday," he says, dripping sarcasm.

"It's a shame when things like that happen," she tells him, feigning sympathy.

Olivia doesn't feel the least bit of sadness that yet another person, who violated someone's trust in the worst possible way, has to spend the weekend in jail. He deserves that and so much more. Hopefully justice will prevail for Alicia.

"So what's up with you?" He asks. "You look like you were a million miles away when I came in here."

"I don't think a million miles would be far enough," she tells him. "But a vacation more often than every five years probably wouldn't hurt."

"You should go," he asserts. "If anyone needs it…

"Thanks," she tells him. "But I'm commanding officer, at least for now," she adds. "And we're shorthanded even with Simmons on."

"Speak of the devil," says Fin, watching as the new detective approaches.

Simmons appears in her doorway looking as if he just may have followed in her footsteps of puking after an interview.

Fin, seeing the expression on his face, decides to make himself scarce.

"See you Monday boss," he tells Olivia before making an exit.

Olivia nods before turning her attention towards Simmons.

"How's the vic?" She asks.

"Not good," he answers, entering the office and closing the door behind him. "She has a blood blister in one eye, a fractured wrist, broken nose and three cracked ribs."

"Did you talk to her?"

"She," he begins but stops to take a breath. "She cried in my arms Sergeant."

Olivia gets up from her chair, coming around her desk to lean against it.

"How are you doing with that?" She asks, stuffing her hands in her pockets.

She gestures for him to take a seat.

"I wasn't prepared for the physical injuries," he admits. "Rollins said it was bad but to actually see it," he begins. "And despite the fact that a man had done that to her, she still talked to me, trusted me."

"Victims will surprise you," she offers. "Sometimes in a good way, other times…

"It just made me want to find the son of bitch that did that all the more," he tells her. "As long as I'm able to do that, I can deal with the rest."

He sounds confident and passionate about his new role in the unit. Hopefully things will work out because they can't afford to lose another detective.

"You won't always find the monster in the closet," she begins. "And even then things are not always so black and white," she continues. "Sometimes knowing you did all you could has to be enough," she adds, returning to the seat at her desk. "But you can always come and talk to me."

"I'll keep that in mind."

He leaves her office and Olivia goes back to doing her paperwork. She manages to put a nice dent in it and before she knows it, the day has wound down to nothing. It's Friday, she's assigned Simmons and Rollins to catch this weekend, so she gathers her things and rushes over to the courthouse.

Olivia squeezes in the door just in time for Noah's case to be called. She decides to stand at the back of the room not wanting to interrupt the proceedings. After listening for a few minutes, the news isn't good.

Noah still doesn't have a foster home, he has no familial ties that they can find and the judge is well aware of the fact that his mother was just murdered. Therefore she declares him an orphan, an official ward of the state.

"Sergeant Benson you rescued the infant," says Judge Linden, surprising Olivia. "Isn't that right?"

"Yes your honor."

"You're the only one that's taken an interest on his behalf," she realizes. "Any chance you might…like to become a foster mother to this baby?"

"I'm sorry," Olivia says, stunned. "Excuse me your honor?"

All eyes are on the sergeant. Pippa and Trevor turn in their seats towards her, judging her reaction.

"I have a feeling about this Sergeant Benson," she continues. "Call it a judge's hunch."

Olivia is speechless.

"If you agree, I will order Noah Porter into your care as custodial parent for one year," Judge Linden tells her. "After which you'll be given the option to permanently adopt him," she continues. "Do you agree?"

Olivia is dumbfounded, shocked. It takes a few seconds to regain her senses but when she does, she finds herself wordlessly nodding in the affirmative.

And just like that, she's somebody's mother.

After signing off on the agreement and all the other legal paperwork required for fostering a child, Noah's case worker Chantal helps get the baby and the minimal things he's accumulated into Olivia's SUV. It's a good thing she traded her Ford Mustang in for the Volvo XC60. There wouldn't have been nearly enough room.

Ms. Jackson takes time to show her how to properly install the car seat, lets her know when her first official visit will be and wishes her well.

Olivia takes a few minutes in the parking garage to process all that's happened in the span of two hours, looks at the cherub faced little boy in her rearview mirror and then heads home. Olivia hasn't driven so carefully since she had a pregnant Kathy in her car. She tries to block out how that ended as she journeys towards midtown.

"Call Alex," she says into the Bluetooth enabled system.

"Calling Alex," responds the automated voice.

The electronic sound of the line connecting, reverberates throughout the cabin. It rings at least five times before her friend picks up.

"Olivia," she answers, sounding distracted. "What's up?"

"Hey, I was wondering if you could give me the name and number of the service you used to find Gavin's sitter," Olivia requests.

She can hear her godson in the background, apparently its bath time.

"Of course," she says. "But why?" She asks, worriedly. "She hasn't turned up in a case has she?"

She can't blame her friend. Her mind would probably automatically supply the same question. In their line of work, it's not farfetched.

"Um no," Olivia says as she comes to red light. "The judge in Noah's case just gave me probationary custody for the next year," she reveals. "I'm fostering him."

Except for the splashing she hears in the background, Alex's end of the line has gone silent.

"Alex?"

"Yeah, I'm here," she answers. "Wow, Liv. Just. Wow," she repeats. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Olivia tells her, chancing a look at the little boy in the back seat before continuing through the green light.

"How do you feel about all this?" Asks Alex. "I mean, I know you're happy but…it's all kind of…sudden."

"I'm elated for the most part," answers Olivia. "But I'm also terrified," she admits. "I didn't go to his hearing today thinking he would come home with me," she continues. "I was just hoping to find that they'd finally found a stable home for him to go to."

"They did," says the counselor. "Yours."

"You're not exactly unbiased Alex, but thank you."

"I can't think of a safer, more capable person for him to be with," adds the blonde. "The judge knew what she was doing."

"I hope so," she says, eying the little guy in her rearview mirror.

"I know so," encourages Alex.

Olivia can hear Gavin crying in protest as his mom is no doubt trying to end play time with his rubber ducky.

"I have to get this stubborn little devil out of the tub," says Alex. "But I'll text you the information as soon as I get him down."

"Ok."

"And Olivia?'

"Yeah."

"You deserve this," Alex tells her. "Enjoy every second with him."

"I will," Olivia manages before ending the call. She finds that she's emotional all the sudden.

Getting what she's always wanted has been an overwhelming combination of happiness, fear and guilt. Happy for obvious reasons, fear because while she's always wanted a child, she can't say she knows what to do with one and guilty because getting Noah came at the expense of someone's life.

When she makes it to her apartment she has so much to carry that she decides to just bring his diaper bag, her purse and him in his car seat. Just after she makes it through her front door, her cell phone beeps alerting her of a new message. True to her word, Alex has sent the information about the nanny service.

"Well little guy," she says, eying the sleeping baby. "You look like your day has been just as long as mine," she adds, removing the straps from the carrier.

She ditches her boots and sits in the corner of her sofa with Noah in her arms.

"I guess it's just you and me kid."

After a few minutes of just enjoying being able to liberally hold him, she decides to get up, carrying him to her bedroom. She lays him on her bed as he softly slumbers, rolling up a blanket to make a barrier around him, just in case. He's too young to be mobile already, but she isn't taking any chances.

Olivia knows enough to utilize the time he's sleeping productively, so she consolidates the contents of two drawers into one, making room for Noah's onesies and the other few clothes he has in his diaper bag.

She washes his bottles, nipples and pacifier and any toys she's able to get wet in her kitchen sink. When she hears his faint cries, she returns to her bedroom to check on him. Olivia picks him up, carrying him with her to prepare a bottle of formula.

Two hours later Noah has a full belly, he's bathed, changed and is back to sleep. Olivia takes the opportunity to take a quick shower, knowing he could awaken at any moment. Periodically she pauses and listens out for him, hoping she doesn't have shampoo in her eyes should he cry out again.

If the constant worry she feels about something happening to him doesn't wane, she'll never get another good night's sleep again for the rest of her life. Not that that was happening for her anyway. It's been a rough year but it's definitely looking up now.

After her shower she dons stretch pants and an oversized Brooklyn Nets t-shirt, left over from Brian's vast collection. It's ridiculously comfortable and she knows he won't call to ask for it back so she's claimed it.

She makes a call to the service Alex told her about, lining up babysitting for her work hours, hoping nothing comes up. Once she confirms the time, rate and who'll be coming, Olivia gets settled on her bed next to Noah.

She watches as he takes each little breath, inhales his scent and caresses the soft skin of his cheek. Her fingers play in the tufts of his dark hair, enjoying the downy soft texture. She's mesmerized by his ten tiny fingers and toes, even lowering her ear to his chest to listen to his heartbeat.

Olivia's still in shock that he's there with her but she's absolutely elated at the fact that he is. Because of what happened with Calvin, she's almost scared of getting attached. Though she knew it was only temporary, her heart didn't get the message. It was thoroughly broken when he was taken from her.

She takes a breath, trying to put it out of her mind and taking Alex's advice of just enjoying the fortuitous set of circumstances that has allowed her to have this sweet child lying next to her. The vibrating cell on her nightstand lends to a much needed distraction.

Can I c u? ~ El

Seeing who the text is from brings a smile to her face. She gets butterflies in her stomach at the thought of seeing him. And since they spent twelve years together, she feels kind of ridiculous but it's nothing she has control over.

Looks like it won't just be the two of them tonight after all. It's a good thing though, because as much as she is already in love with Noah, someone with a lifetime of experience doesn't hurt to have around in case she has questions.

Sure. I'm home. ~ Liv

Gonna stop 4 food. U want anything specific? ~ El

Whatever u get is fine.

Truthfully she doesn't care. She just wants to see Elliot's expression when he sees Noah and finds out the particulars of her becoming a mom in one day.

Ok. CU in abt an hr. ~ El

K. ~ Liv

Olivia continues to watch the baby sleeping while she waits for him.

"I promise you sweet boy," she begins. "I will find the person responsible for taking your mama's life and make them pay."

Forty-five minutes later Elliot's signature knocks send her to the front door. She checks on the baby one last time before rushing off to answer.

"Hey," he says, following her inside.

He's dressed like he's just got off work, suit, tie, and jacket. They hadn't made any definite plans to get together, but he'd hoped. He's been looking forward to seeing her all week. Elliot wants to come over for reasons other than an emergency or after some traumatic occurrence.

He wants to capitalize on every chance he gets, and their crazy schedules allow, to spend time with her. Elliot stopped, at what he hopes is still her favorite deli, to grab some food for them. And, To Catch a Thief and Notorious were miraculously on the shelf at a local Best Buy store.

"Hey," Olivia returns. "What you got there?" She asks, gesturing to the packages.

"Broccoli cranberry salad and chicken salad on croissant," he answers, placing the bags on her breakfast bar. "You can have either one, I don't have a preference."

As he walks back through the living room to remove his suit jacket and coat, he notices the diaper bag.

"Liv," he begins, using the coat rack. "Are you babysitting?"

She looks over at him from the kitchen, having removed plates from the cupboards for their food. The grin that spreads across her face is broad to the point of showing off her dimples.

"No," she tells him. "I uh…I have something to tell you."

Elliot returns to the breakfast bar, sitting at the opposite side on a stool.

"Well I know you weren't pregnant and you didn't commit a kidnapping," he jokes, smiling back at her. "So what gives?"

She moves out of the kitchen and goes around to him, picking up his hand.

"I'll show you," she says, pulling him to stand. "Follow me," she adds, leading him to her bedroom.

Olivia stands in the doorway as he looks towards her bed.

"Who's this?" He asks with raised eyebrows.

"That's Noah," she answers, proudly. "Judge Linden is allowing me to be his custodial guardian for a year," she explains. "And if everything goes well, I can apply to permanently adopt him."

Elliot immediately shares in her joy, grinning from ear to ear as he walks the short distance to engulf her in a hug.

"I'm so happy for you," he whispers, not wanting to wake the baby.

"Thanks," she says, as he releases her. "I'm pretty happy for myself."

He looks back over at the baby with his hands on his hips.

"Wow," he says. "Olivia Benson's a mom," he adds, making her laugh.

She shushes herself and gestures for him to follow her back into the kitchen. Olivia knew that out of everyone else that knows her, Elliot would be the happiest about the news. He knows just how badly and for how long she's wanted a child to call her own.

When they enter the kitchen, Olivia goes back to putting their food onto plates. Elliot looks on from the bar stool watching her with a silly grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

"What's that look about?" She asks.

"I've just…never been so happy to tell a person 'I told you so'," he tells her. "And judging by the way you're glowing, motherhood definitely agrees with you."

"Thank you," she says, blushing. "Can you do me a favor?" She asks, remembering the contents of her Volvo.

"Sure."

"What little Noah has, is still in my car," she explains. "Can you grab it for me?"

"No problem," he answers. "Where are the keys?" He asks, moving away from the kitchen and into the living room.

"On the table near the door," she tells him.

As Olivia puts their foods on plates, she notices the second bag. In looking inside, she's pleasantly surprised to find two more Hitchcock favorites. Elliot had shown himself to be thoughtful over the years. She's glad to know that part of him hasn't changed.

He returns a short time later and she directs him to put Noah's things in her bedroom. They settle on the bar stools eating side by side. When they're finished, Olivia goes to check on the baby while Elliot cleans up.

"He's still sleeping," she says, joining him on the sofa.

"If you're lucky he'll sleep through the night," he advises. "If not, well…you'll see," he adds with a huge grin.

"You don't have to look so happy about the fact that he may be keeping me up," she tells him.

"I'm not," he says. "It's just…now you'll finally find out what it's like."

She raises an eyebrow at him. She's well aware of the possible sleepless nights that await her. But you take the good with the bad when you finally get something you've always wanted.

"I guess that fortune cookie was right after all," she comments, watching him load her DVD player.

"Oh yeah," he says, coming back to the couch. "It said you'd get something you always wanted," he remembers. "I'm gonna have to go to that place more often because mine was right too."

Forgiveness costs nothing and changes everything.

"It was," she acknowledges. "And I'm glad."

"Me too."

Telling Elliot she was going to work on forgiving him felt good, felt right. She's missed having him in her life. Though she eventually but stubbornly got acclimated to having two new detectives once he left, Olivia had definitely felt his absence, often times painfully so.

"To Catch a Thief huh?"

"I figured it had both our crushes in it so it's a win-win," he tells her.

"Well, try not to drool on my sofa."

"No promises," he responds with a wink.

They get through the first movie and a quarter ways into the second before she realizes that Elliot is slumbering silently beside her. She takes the time to look at him, eying his strong hands, the solidity of his chest as it rises and falls with each breath and his slightly stubbled jawline. When her eyes rise to the rest of his face, she finds his blues staring back.

"Hey," he rasps.

"Hey," she responds, slightly embarrassed at being caught.

Elliot didn't seem to mind her silent perusal. He reaches a hand out, caressing the soft curve of her cheek with his thumb. He looks back and forth between her eyes and Olivia tries not to blush from the intensity.

"I really wanna kiss you right now," he says, nearly whispering. "But I know-

"That I'm not ready," she finishes as he drops his hand.

"Yeah," he says disappointedly.

Elliot sits up, turning away from Olivia and refocusing his attention on the movie he suddenly finds interesting again.

"You know," she begins. "I'm not getting any perverse pleasure out of keeping these boundaries up Elliot," she explains. "And I trust you with my life just-

"Not with your heart," he concludes.

She won't deny that she delights in his touch. And last week when they slow danced in his living room, Olivia felt like it was something they'd done a million times before. Yet as much as her head is screaming that she's not prepared for something other than a platonic relationship with him, the rest of her doesn't seem to be in agreement.

Thinking he's angry, Olivia starts to put some distance between them before Elliot stops her. He doesn't want her to think he's unhappy about her decision to work on their friendship first, so he reaches for her hand.

"Is this okay?" He asks, glancing in her direction.

"Yes," she tells him. "More than."

"I know you're trying," Elliot says, caressing the top of her hand with his thumb. "And I appreciate it so I'm not mad," he explains. "But…

"You're disappointed that my trust in you isn't returning as quickly as you'd like," she concludes.

"Yeah," he admits. "But I told you I'd wait," he reminds her. "And I'll keep doing that unless you can't see yourself getting past the way I left," he adds. "Is that what you're tellin' me?"

Olivia interlaces her fingers with his, leaning in to place a lingering kiss to his cheek. She moves her face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in.

"No," she whispers and he can feel her breath on his skin. "I wanna see where this is going too," she confesses. "So just…please be patient," she implores.

With how close she's sitting, the way she has one hand resting on his stomach and the other intertwined with his, how can he possibly refuse?

"Okay," he tells her as she pulls back.

"Thank you," Olivia says. "You want a beer, maybe a glass of wine?"

"A glass of wine would be nice," he answers.

As she gets up to get the wine, she stubs her toe, yelping out in pain before covering her mouth for the sake of Noah.

"Are you okay?" He asks, watching her hobble back to the sofa.

"Yeah," she says as she sits down. "Just clumsy is all."

"Let me see," Elliot tells her.

"It's nothing," she insists, trying to get up again, but failing.

"Come on," he asserts. "Let me see it."

Olivia brings her left foot up and he places it in his lap. He inspects all five toes, checking each one until she hisses when he finds the affected digit.

"I don't think it's broken," he says. "But if you still can't walk on it by morning, you should make an appointment for an x-ray," he suggests. "I'll get you some ice," he adds, gingerly placing her foot back on the sofa before getting up to go to the kitchen.

She picks up the remote, pauses the movie then rests her back against the arm of the couch, watching as he pours two glasses of wine after packing some ice inside a dish towel. As he approaches, Olivia's reminded of how well he took care of her a few years ago when she was sick with the flu.

At the time she hated to be fawned over, not wanting to be thought helpless. It's a good thing Elliot's just as use to her stubbornness as she is to his.

"Here you go," he tells her, handing her the glass of red.

"Thanks."

He places his own on the end table, picks up her injured foot to rest in his lap and holds the ice filled towel against her toe.

"So how do you know it isn't broken?"

"I've been a professional boo-boo fixer for a number of years now," he answers, making her smile. "I'm no doctor, but it's not swelling so that's a good indication that it isn't."

"That's great because Noah's gonna be keeping me plenty busy on top of work," she muses. "I can't be hobbling around on crutches."

"You'll be fine."

Her feet rest comfortably in his lap as she resumes the movie. She stifles a moan when he begins rubbing her feet. When he looks up at her, he has the same look in his eye he'd had earlier when he wanted to kiss her. In the moment, she sorely wants to scoot closer and oblige him but yet again, she resists.

When the movie ends a little while later, Olivia finds herself disappointed, knowing he has to go because they both have work in the morning.

Elliot excuses himself to go to the bathroom and when she attempts to stand this time, she finds that her foot feels much better. Apparently it just needed some ice and a little TLC from her former partner. She's barely limping at all in venturing to her bedroom to check on Noah.

"Well look at you," Elliot says, watching her return to the living room. "The boo-boo fixer strikes again," he adds with a grin.

She shakes her head at the epithet but shares his grin none the less.

"I'm gonna head out," he says, putting his jacket back on. "But thanks for having dinner with me."

"Thanks for picking it up. It was good," she tells him with a smile. "And the movie choices weren't bad either."

"I figured you might like 'em," Elliot responds. "Congratulations again on getting Noah," he adds. "He's a lucky kid."

"I'm the lucky one El," she returns. "I still can't believe he's here with me."

He takes a step closer to her as they face one another, taking hold of her right hand.

"I can't think of a better place for him."

They linger at her front door as if they're ending a first date. She pulls a stray hair behind her right ear, nervously looking down at her feet.

"Thanks for playing the boo-boo fixer for me," she nearly whispers.

"Anytime."

Not wanting to try for another kiss and get rejected, he instead takes her in his arms again, holding on for a little longer than he probably should. He hates having to let go.

And as he closes the door behind himself, Olivia can't help but wonder how much longer she'll be able to resist kissing him, touching him and letting herself trust him again the way she used to.

Only time will tell.

AN: I know, I know. She's still keeping him at arm's length. But just stick with me people. Elliot is definitely gonna break through those walls in the next chapter. I promise.