He leaned back onto the couch, his eyes trained up on to the celling, the soft light making shapes with fuzzy edges on the white paint. Without the already dull ache in his skull, Four still wouldn't really know what to say. The first thought he had was that he was an idiot. How long had Shauna wanted to do that? Had she tried to give him signs? Thinking back, he had noticed that she acted weird, but he never thought of her being interested in him like that.

Her face came back into his mind. Surprised, hurt, and tears in her eyes. Another pang of pressure came to his chest. Seeing a friend like Shauna, so brave and reckless in pain like that was hard. What should he do when she comes back? He wanted to hug her, take care of her. But he really couldn't, could he?

Shauna came back holding a cold pack. Her face was distant, but more put together. Her eyes were red and puffy though. Four could tell she had been crying.

"Here. Your probably tired, you should get some sleep." She said curtly, handing Four the ice pack and turning away.

"hey wait." Four pressed the coolness to his head. He really wanted to talk to her. He didn't want her to go to bed like this. "Will you sit with me for a bit?"

"What? Are you afraid of the dark?" Shauna tried to joke. Four knew she was just trying to act like nothing happened.

"No. I want to talk to you." Four's voice was firm. He knew that this was something that couldn't be blown over. Shauna stopped at the door, back to him, for a moment. Before turning and walking back over. She sat cross-legged against the couch by his hip.

"How long…" Four started.

"I don't know. Since initiation? I never saw you before that. And I always liked you." She wouldn't look at him. She was curled up, arms around her legs pressed to her chest. Four was taken aback. Had she really liked him then? He was never aware. Everything felt like a lot and he laughed. Shauna smacked his arm, she looked hurt.

"Sorry, I'm just so fucking dumb."

Shauna sighed, slumping back against the couch. "What can I say. You grew up a stiff." There was a beat and Four couldn't see her face, but he felt like she was crying again. He hesitated before moving his hand to her shoulder. Her warm skin was shivering. "It's just… it's just I'm so fucking dumb, now I messed this up."

You didn't mess anything up. You just miscalculated. I… and I still want you around. I really, really want you around." He didn't want to think about what life would be like if Shauna suddenly ducked out of it. It would be like losing a sister.

"You do?" Her voice cracked and Four knew for sure then she was crying." God, I sound awful." She wiped her face with the heel of her hand.

"Yes, I do. You are one of the best friends I've had. I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't want that to change." Four thought about what it would be like without having Shauna as a friend, without her at meals or get drunk with. He would really miss her.

"I don't want it to change either." She sounded soft. So, unlike herself.

It was quiet from then on, they kept talking for a while, before Four finally fell asleep. It was restless, and only lasted a few hours before he woke up. Shauna had left him a note on the end table, telling him she was gone for work. The apartment seemed empty, and his face felt numb. He was feeling better than yesterday, and he could walk with only a limp and wasn't going to black out any time soon.

He left, chugging a glass of water before making his way back to his apartment, taking back halls and quiet stairs so no one would see him in this state, bruised and clothes torn. His body ached as he went up the dark crowded stairs, trying not to think about what happened a few hours earlier in a place just like that. He would think about it later. It occurred to him that he was spending less and less time in his solitary apartment. He had spent more time sleeping at other people's places than his own. That made him fell happy for some reason, and that happiness made him forget the darker memories from the night before.

Four felt relieved as he closed and locked the door behind him. He was finally alone. Safe again. The first thing he did was take off his t-shirt. The black cotton was stiff with dried blood. He tossed it in the hamper and got ready for a shower. He caught himself in the mirror and gasped. He looked… bad.

His lips were puffed, eyes bruised, his whole body was covered with ugly purple bruises. He noticed how there was blood in his hair. He checked his teeth and sighed. Nothing seemed broken or bloody in his mouth. Nothing really felt broken either. Just very banged up. After inspecting himself he hopped in the shower. He smelled like blood and sweat. Maybe to some dauntless this would smell great, but he was left with a sick feeling in his stomach.

After scrubbing himself clean in a cool shower until the water going down the drain was no longer pink, he got out and grabbed bruise paste and spread it basically all over his body and face before taking a few pain relivers. After cleaning up the bathroom carefully, wiping the floor for water, he walked back into the room, shirtless so the paste could dry. It was only when he was eating some cereal when someone started banging on his door, nearly making his heart stop.

"Four?!" Eric's deep voice came from behind the door. Four stood and limped over, letting Eric enter.

Eric came in like a flock of frightened birds. All over the place all at once, he was in front of him, Four could smell soap and coffee on him, something he was soon connecting with Eric. His dark eyes roamed across his body, seeming to widen with panic at how beaten Four looked. Eric's calloused hand pressed lightly against Four's side, where his ribs were covered with large red and darkening bruises.

"Eric." Four seemed to feel more exhausted than he had, and he grabbed Eric's shoulder to hold him up. Four found himself more relaxed, like there was tension on his shoulders and back lifted. "I'm glad you're here." Four's voice was quiet, like he only wanted to share the words with Eric and not the rest of the empty room.

Eric's hands stopped and met Four's eyes. His dark eyes softened, and he. "Let's sit down, We need to talk." His deep voice rang in Four's body like a bell, he didn't even notice his hands shaking until they stopped. They walked to Four's neatly made bed and sat together, side by side, shoulder to shoulder.

Eric was quiet for a moment and Four was too tired to really put words together at this point, so he just studied him. Eric's shoulders were hunched, and his eyes were everywhere but Four's face, studding Four's room. He realized that Eric had never been in his room before. It made him feel nervous, his room was sparsely decorated. He didn't spend enough time here to really care about the decor, but he compared his small room to Eric's apartment, with its space and furniture, Four was living like he did when he was a child in his bedroom.

"Four I... there is something I have to tell you, but I really don't want to." There was something in his voice that Four didn't like, it made Four want to hold him, which Four never really matched up with Eric. But now all he wanted was to pull the man to his chest and lay down with him.

"Is it about what happened last night?" Four felt like the air around the two of them was fragile glass, and even the slightest shift would shatter it. So, he tried to edge the words out of

"Yes. I believe it does." Eric scraped white lines into his tattooed forearm. "And I just want to protect you." Four was about to protest, he could fight just fine, this was a one-time thing really, but Eric cut him off. "I know you can fight, you have almost broken my nose many times during initiation, but this is bigger that a fist fight. This is organized."

Four didn't know what to say to make things better really. The tone in Eric's voice gave no hint to changing his mind. So instead of reasoning with him or arguing, he slides his hand into Eric's calloused one. He could only say one thing.

"We are going to be okay Eric. And I'll be by your side for all of it." The other man took his hand, and Four could see a line of red around Eric's eyes. Four rested his head on Eric's warm chest, and they sat like that for a minute. It was the first time Four felt calm really for the past 24 hours. He could feel Eric's heart beat and he could feel his own pulse begin to match his.

"Four, you were attacked because of me." Eric's said quiet like he was afraid to say it. Four looked up, Eric's face was slightly distorted by his one black eye. Eric let go of him, pulling away really. "And I think we should stop seeing each other …. like this because of that."

(Authors Note: Hello! I'm so glad to be back to writing! Junior year is soooooooooo much and I'm in a musical! So, I have about -1 hours to do things like sleep and have proper meals, but I'm on a break so I'm chilling and so glad to have this chapter out. I really wish I could do more, and I really feel like this is something I love and feel happy while doing but I am sadly constrained by other important life things. Please comment and vote!

Best Gracie)