***
So Angel and Leia made their peace. After talking for a while, Angel declared he would set the rest of the group straight on the whole affair and they would see the light like they did. He refused to listen to any of her fears, just kept repeating to her "You're going to be okay." He also told her of what he had found at the mayors, and they both shared their hopes that this would prove useful. After telling her to get some rest, he informed her not to worry and that he was going to stay the night so that if anything else did happen, he would be there.
Leia left them alone after that. Buffy would stir soon and she sensed the two of them would talk. Good, she thought. There was too much tension at the moment, too many worrying, unresolved feelings.
***
Buffy opened her eyes. Everything seemed fuzzy; her head felt sticky and she reached a hand up to touch it. As her vision cleared she stared into a pair of worried brown eyes that were peering over her.
She blinked, and took in the scene. Her right hand was in Angels; both of his were clasped round it and he was leaning on both elbows onto her bed in a concerned, protective way. He immediately leaned back when he saw she was awake, but kept his hands around hers. "Buffy?" He asked softly. "Are you okay?"
Buffy sat up blearily, and propped herself back on the pillows, not letting go of his hand. "My head hurts," She admitted, fumbling for the lamp switch and squinting as light flooded the room. She sank back into the pillows and swallowed, trying to get rid of the dry, stale taste in her mouth. She looked at her right hand, and saw that the fingertips had come back slightly tinged with red. With blood…
"Oh god!" Buffy shot up again, hitting the back of her head painfully against the wall. She didn't pause. "Leia!" She made a move to bolt out of bed. "Angel, we have to-"
"It's okay, Leia's alright," Angel put an arm across her and gently pushed her back against the pillows. He looked at her seriously. "She's okay."
"But you didn't see!" Buffy
exclaimed, a picture flooding into her mind of what she had seen before she had
slumped to the floor. "There were like four ginormous demons! Oh God, I'm
so dumb!" She winced as she felt around the back of her head. "I
can't believe how stupid I was…I was totally spaced out and then they just pounced
on me. She couldn't possibly have fought them alone…"
Angel smiled. "You'd be surprised
what you Slayers can manage under pressure…she managed to behead two of
them."
"Really? Alone?" Buffy asked incredulously. "That's amazing!"
"While guarding you," Angel said pointedly. "And there were five, not four."
"Ouch," Buffy winced again. "Don't make me feel worse then I already do."
Angel shook his head. "That's not what I was trying to do," He told her. Then he gave her a questioning look; that look that always penetrated her and made her want to examine everything she had ever done and find out if the motives were pure. Angel always brought out that in her; he always, always made her want to do better. She was never content with the way she had dealt with things when he looked at her like that, she always wished she could change something. She didn't think about how much she had liked that feeling before, that challenge. Instead, she forced herself to be irritated by his piety.
He didn't speak. "What?" Buffy challenged. "Come on Angel, I can tell when you are dying to give me a lecture."
Angel looked at her, hurt in his eyes. "That's not what I was trying to do either," He said quietly, looking at her for a second, before looking down at his hands.
Guilt flooded through Buffy and it was unbearable. She was only picking on him because she felt so bad about being careless on patrol and putting Leia in danger…and because she wanted him so much. "I'm sorry," Buffy said hastily, squeezing his hand. "I'm just a little grouchy… being knocked unconscious will do that to you." He looked up and she tried to smile as brightly as she could. "I didn't mean it."
His face relaxed and a trace of a smile appeared on his face. "I know," Angel said softly. Then he cleared his throat. "Actually, I was just going to talk to you about Leia…about the way we've all been treating her recently."
Buffy closed her eyes for a second. "It's been bad."
"Yes, it has. And that's why I'm not lecturing you Buffy…I treated her the same myself," He admitted. "We all doubted her and thought bad might come of her being here."
Buffy nodded, ashamed.
"But Buffy…" Angel continued. "Leia saved your life. And she did more then that," He hastened to finish as Buffy opened her eyes and looked at him, surprised. "Buffy, those demons were sent as bounty hunters from the Council. "
Horror flooded Buffy's face. "No," She whispered. "Leia…"
Angel interrupted her, wanting her to hear the whole tale. "They were sent for you two. Both of you. They told Leia that if she fought, they would capture her and she would be severely punished when she was taken back to Council. Or, she could hand you over and escape punishment. They offered it as a way to redeem herself."
He paused for a moment, giving Buffy as chance to digest this. She looked at him, still struggling to take it all in. "So what did she do? Did she fight them?"
Angel shook his head. "She wouldn't let them come near you, she stood in front of you after beheading one of the demons and held his axe in her hands. And then…and then she told them to take her instead. That she would go with them without a fight if they would promise her that you would be taken home and you would be safe."
Buffy's eyes widened and she felt a lump grow in her throat. "Oh my god," She whispered, her cheeks flushing with shame.
"That's not all."
"There's more?" She asked, clenching his hand and looking at him with tears in her eyes.
"They said no. They said that you either came with a struggle and they would take both of you anyway, or she handed you over to them. So she set a trap for them, made out she was going to hand you over and then took them by surprise. Even though she knew she couldn't win, she still fought them anyway. She managed to behead another one and send the other two to the floor, but they got up and she knew she couldn't fight three of them. This was with you in her arms. She was doing it all with one hand," Angel added wryly. "It would've been funny if it wasn't so awful. So she just scooped you up in her arms and ran."
Buffy started to ask another question, but then something struck her. "Wait a minute…" She said slowly. "How do you know all this?"
"Uh…" Angel stuttered. Finally he sighed and admitted, "I was there. Watching from the rooftop. I'd been checking out the mayor's office when I heard some noise in the alley. I went over to see and…well…I was gonna go down and help but something made me stop. I guess…"He looked down at the floor. "I guess I wanted to see her reaction."
"Angel!" Buffy said sharply. "That's a horrible thing to do!"
"I know."
"Not to mention dangerous!" Buffy ranted. "We could have both been killed!"
"I know!" Angel exclaimed, holding up a hand. His dark eyes were cavernous and huge with guilt. "Believe me, I know," He muttered. "No-one can feel worse about this then I do. But she…she proved me wrong. She proved all of us wrong."
There was a silence for a minute as they both thought about the terrible way they had acted.
"Anyway," Angel burst in indignation after a couple of seconds. "I came through in the end! I killed the other three demons."
"Oh you did, did you?" Buffy smiled.
"And I was worried sick about you Buffy," Angel carried on. "I was… paralysed with fear."
Then the smile fell from her lips, and she said softly, looking up at him, "Thank you."
There was something about Buffy's eyes that always killed him. They were wide and unnerving…clear and beautiful. Like her. When she looked at him like that, he thought that he would die a thousand times just to come back to her. Okay, so it was a little dramatic, the way he felt, so sue him. He'd been through enough to justify a little drama. And his feelings for her were the themes of a dramatic production in themselves: Passionate, deep, confusing, painful, and absolutely spellbinding.
As Angel gazed at her, Buffy felt her heart stop. Amongst all the confusion around her, the way she felt for him seemed to be the only thing that was standing out as clear as day in her mind. And it was the only thing that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to make as clear to him. That they should be together. She sighed and looked away.
Touching her head, she noticed that her fingers were dark with blood. "My head's bleeding," She mumbled. "Figures." Like my heart, she thought.
"Uh, Buffy?" Angel asked, and when she looked up he was flushed. With what? Heat? Embarrassment? He almost looked shy. "I'll go and get you some more bandages for that head." He exited the room hastily and Buffy let out a deep, shuddering breath.
When he returned, Buffy's eyes were closed. He paused, not sure if he was grateful or disappointed that she was asleep. Maybe it was for the best; he would put her bandages on and then try and get some sleep, before these feelings had an opportunity to spill over. Hopefully he wouldn't dream about her, like he did most nights.
Buffy felt gentle fingers swabbing at her forehead, and she could not help a deep sigh escape from her body. She tried not to stir as Angel fixed her up, figuring it would be easier if she just lay still and avoided any confrontation of her emotions.
As he finished up, Angel studied her face, calm in sleep. The long eyelashes were resting on high cheekbones and a strand of golden hair was resting on her perfect pink mouth. He brushed it out of the way tenderly, not wanting to disturb her while he gazed at her delicate features. His heart lurched in the face of such beauty. She had always reminded him of an angel, but even more so in sleep…he had always loved to watch her sleep. It made him feel peaceful. He gritted his teeth as he mustered every ounce of self-restraint trying not to touch her. Then Angel gave in and relaxed. After all, she was asleep…slowly he leaned down and closed his eyes, wanting to pretend that she was his, just for a moment.
Buffy was trying very hard not to move but it was hard when a strand of hair was tickling her mouth. She desperately wanted to brush it away but didn't want alert Angel that she was awake…and then she froze as he brushed it away for her. The touch of his fingers sent shivers of electricity down to her toes…her stomach flew up to her mouth and her body tensed at his nearness. He'll go away soon, he'll go away soon, she told herself frantically, willing herself to just hold on. It was unbearable. Then she felt a long, soft kiss on her cheek and his voice whispering good night. She opened her eyes.
Angel raised his head from Buffy and was surprised when he saw her eyes wide open and looking at him, also surprised. For a few seconds they stared at each other.
"Buffy I-" Angel started, hoping that she wasn't mad.
"Shhh." Buffy put a trembling finger to his lips. She didn't care if this was wrong or right anymore. "You talk too much." Painfully she raised herself up onto her elbows. She didn't care that her head and her ribs all cried out in protest. The only thing she cared about right now was sitting right in front of her. She looked at him for a moment. He didn't make a move to stop her. Then again, he didn't make a move towards her. She reached a hand around the back of his head and slowly brought her face to meet his.
The moment their lips touched Angel was lost. All resolutions and thoughts slipped away and it was all he could do to keep himself from crushing Buffy to him. He pulled her tighter and her fingers clamped down on the back of his neck as their tongues entwined in pure need.
The kiss lasted for a long time, but for Angel it wasn't enough. As they pulled away, they were both shaking.
"I'm sorry," Buffy muttered.
Angel took a deep breath. "Buffy. I've been wanting to do that since I first got here."
Her eyes widened in shock. "Really?" She breathed, and then looked down at her hands, twisting them in her lap. When she met his eyes again she was smiling, half-embarrassed, half pleased. "I thought it was just me."
"No, but Buffy…" He sighed.
"Oh, I knew there was going to be a but," Buffy said sarcastically.
"Buffy." He looked at her reproachfully, and then reminded her," You have a boyfriend."
Buffy froze, looking bewildered and hurt. She knew he hadn't said it as a cheap shot to hurt her, but that he was feeling guilty. Although Angel hated Riley, he still wasn't the type to interfere with a woman that was another man's. But she hadn't ever belonged to Riley, not really…her hands flew to her throat. "Oh God," she gasped. "What must you think of me…" Her lip trembled.
"Shhh." Angel gathered her against his chest. "Buffy," He murmured. "I'm not mad at you. I don't think any less of you. I don't think I ever could."
Her muffled voice was pained. "But I always make such a mess of everything!"
He pushed away from her, his hands on his shoulders so he could look into her eyes. "No. It's not you," Angel shook his head regretfully. "It's my fault. Do you wanna know a secret?" He tried to lighten the tone, grinning at her. "I make mistakes all the time."
Buffy smiled and sniffed, wiping her eyes. "You? The all-wise Angel?" Her face darkened with sadness. "I guess one of them was kissing me just now."
"No. That was me trying to do something right, for a change." Angel reached out and touched her face. Again, Buffy felt her stomach turn somersaults. He clenched his fists and looked away. When he looked back, she was amazed to see tears in his eyes. "I think the biggest mistake I made was nearly two years ago. When I…when I left here. When I left you."
Buffy was speechless. She didn't know what to say. She just stared at him, unable to believe her ears.
"I know," Angel continued. "Now that I've realised my own stupidity, I have no right to barge back in here. You have a life and a boyfriend. But…I can't bear to leave you. Not until you give me a reason." His dark eyes were full of hope, but at the same time, pain. "I want you to think about how you feel. If you're perfectly happy now and have no interest in me, then I'll understand and I'll go away. But…well…if you do feel something for me and you wanted to…I was hoping we could maybe give it another try." He swallowed hard, and got up. "But I'm not going to crowd you. I want you to take your time and think. I'll understand whatever you choose."
Buffy was silent, but finally she nodded. "I don't want to lose you, Angel."
"You'll never lose me," Angel told her seriously. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what. This…this bond between us…it'll never go away. The funny thing is," He smiled wryly, "Is that I thought I could make it. Thought that if I stretched it far enough by leaving, by the distance, that it would snap. But it hasn't. And it won't." He stopped smiling and his mouth curved downwards sadly. Then he looked back up at her, and, stammering a little, he continued. "Now I…I'm going to go." He looked at her quickly before leaving, saying over his shoulder, "You should get some rest. I'm staying the night so Leia and you will not be alone. And Buffy…."He paused in the doorway a second. "Just think about it."
With that, he left the room. Buffy touched her fingers to her lips, still unable to believe what had just happened. She realised she had a big, big problem. So what's new? She thought, and fell back against the bed, prepared for a night of tossing and turning.
