Disclaimer: See first Chapter
a/n: Friday Nights are now Kreacher update nights, it should give me something to work for rather than random posting. Anyway, please tell me what you think and I'll get back to you. My review replies have been really slacking so this year, I promise I will not forget. Candy~
"I've considered everything from playing hard to get to Amortentia," Tonks confessed.
"No," snapped Sirius, rather suddenly.
To Tonks' dismay, she thought he was about to give her the 'Amortentia is a powerful substance not to be misused' lecture but no, that was better saved for Remus Lupin, who would surely have been appalled, especially considering that the victim was he.
"What?"
"Do not play hard to get," Sirius warned her. "It works on normal men. Hell, it works on me. Listen, Remus is not your average guy, okay? He'll think you've finally come to your senses and moved on. Then you'll be back to square one. Amortentia though, good plan. It pains me to say this, but you're a real Black."
Tonks rolled her eyes. "So what do you suggest then?" Said eyes widened with fear as she caught sight of her cousin's smirk.
"You leave it with me."
Lupin slept in the foetal position, his face concealed by his long, elegant fingers and his knees tucked up to his chest. He looked like a small child; a small child or a frightened hedgehog.
Sirius closed the door as quietly as he could. The Marauder in him couldn't resist situations like this one, especially not when Lupin presented them to him on a plate.
"WAKE UP MOONSHINE; TIME TO RISE AND SCOWL!"
Lupin leapt to his feet, wand in hand. He blew the sandy strands of his fringe out of charcoal eyes, wide with fear.
Sirius raised his arms. "Sweet Merlin, Remus! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"I nearly gave you a heart attack! That's rich." He shook his head in disbelief and lowered his wand. "What time is it?"
Sirius glanced at his watch. "It is exactly thirty-five minutes since you went to bed."
"Then why am I up?"
Sirius laughed to himself. This was so typical of Lupin. Only life and death situations mattered more than comfort, sugar and eight hours sleep a night. "Oh no," said Sirius, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "I didn't wake you up, did I? Lock me up and throw away the key."
"I was thinking more along the lines of tie you up and feed you to Kreacher."
"Kinky."
"Shut up." But he was smiling. "So, I assume there's a reason that you decided to burst into my room at ten minutes to midnight?"
Sirius nodded. "We need to talk."
"Oh God," Lupin muttered. He sighed softly and returned to the comfort of his bed, stretching his long legs out and trying to conceal a yawn. He patted the space beside him when he found his hand colliding with something harder than his mattress, something unrelenting. It didn't even creak. He tested it out in the darkness, wondering what the hell he was lying on.
"Remus, that's my thigh. Stop slapping it."
Lupin screamed and sat up with a jolt. "Why do you always do this? Get out of my bed."
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Your bed? It's my house. Besides, you were gesturing for me to get in with you anyway."
"No I wasn't," Lupin protested. "I was gesturing for you to sit on the edge."
Sirius shrugged, pulling the covers up to his chin. "Oh well, too late now. Talking of sharing a bed-"
Lupin laughed. "You're not making this permanent. I don't care if my bed is warmer than yours, you're not sleeping here."
Sirius elbowed him. "I'm talking about our mutual friend."
Frowning in confusion, Lupin propped himself up on his elbow. "I'm not sharing a bed with any of your friends either, for that matter."
"You know who I'm talking about."
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. This was not happening. He did not want to have this conversation, least of all with Sirius and least of all in the very bed that – never mind. Play dumb.
"Look, lovely as our mutual friend is," joked Lupin. "I don't want to take Kreacher to bed."
He was hit by his own pillow; his favourite one, soft, fluffy and the only one filled with eiderdown. It could have been worse; there was one on the bottom so hard that it could have been filled with rocks. Knowing the Blacks, it probably was.
He grabbed the pillow and rested his head against it, staring at the ceiling.
"Kiss her."
Lupin sat up once again. "I can't."
There was the truth of it. Despite his friend's deep sigh and staring out into the middle distance, Sirius, who was rarely uncomfortable no matter the subject, lay back, resting his head on his linked forearms.
"Why can't you?"
"I just can't."
"That's not a reason, Remus. That's an excuse. What are you so afraid of?"
Lupin's reply was quiet and lacked the sarcastic black humour that he had mastered so well. His eyes were dull and in the darkness of the room, Sirius could not even make them out.
"She might…she'll pull away. Everything will change."
"How can someone who spends as much time with their head in a book as you do, possibly be this stupid?"
Lupin laughed, for which Sirius was grateful. Although Remus had always been introverted and something of a workaholic, his quick wit and ability to laugh at the ridiculous had saved him from the intensity of his situation in the past. It would do so again.
"Look," said Sirius, using the same shrewd tone that was usually saved for bargaining. "I'll set up the sort of situation that could end with a kiss if you promise to act on it."
Lupin stared his friend out, somewhat dubious. "Oh yes? Like you did with the mistletoe, you mean?"
Sirius shrugged. "She kissed you, didn't she?"
Lupin cleared his throat softly and averted his eyes. That was confirmation enough.
"It was hardly subtle though, was it, Padfoot?"
Sirius grinned. "What are you talking about? Subtle is my middle name."
"Really? I thought it was Obnoxious."
"Shut it, Lupin."
The silence was comfortable and unable to keep his eyes open much longer, Lupin yawned and mumbled, "Okay, well goodnight."
"Night."
The bedsprings creaked and Lupin listened for the sound of the door. Five minutes later, he was still waiting. Opening his eyes, he made out the shape of his friend, lying beside him, face mashed into the pillow.
"Sirius, stop pretending to be asleep."
Silence.
"Pad, I can see you smirking into the pillow."
"So what?" grumbled Sirius, refusing to budge. "I'm not hurting anyone."
Lupin sighed. "But I like lots of space. I move around a lot in the night."
Sirius groaned into the pillow. "Moony, you're keeping me awake."
Lupin huffed in response. He would forcibly remove him if he had to. Perhaps it would be a good idea to indulge in a quick nap first. He would be able to move his arms after a nap.
Slowly, he opened one eye. Light streamed through the windows now that the curtains had been opened and he took a moment to adjust. Beside him, Sirius sat atop the covers, flicking through the paper and munching on burnt toast.
"Don't get crumbs in my sheets," Lupin warned, stretching his arms out and propping himself up with a pillow.
"I won't," Sirius assured him, brushing bits of blackened bread onto the carpet. "Merlin Remus, you weren't joking, were you?"
Lupin was now wide awake. What. Fresh. Hell?
"I beg your pardon?"
"I said, you weren't joking, were you?"
Lupin didn't like the familiar smile that slowly grew on his best friend's face. The Marauder smile. Whatever he had said, it was a source of great embarrassment. "Hmm, what about?"
"Moving around in bed. Christ Moons, you can bend like a pretzel. I'm sure I'm developing bruises from the amount of times I was kicked last night."
Lupin blushed slightly. He knew this would happen. "Well, I did warn you. You could have left."
Sirius laughed. "Yeah but I was warm by then."
Lupin smiled. "I'm going to get dressed. I hate letting people see me in my pyjamas."
"I wouldn't worry about it," Sirius assured him. "Your jim-jams have got a lot cooler since you moved out of your mother's. I was at school with you, remember? I've seen the blue penguin ones."
Lupin hid his face in his hands. "Mention them again and I will give you an eye as bruised as your name."
Sirius grinned. "Sirius? You'll give me a Sirius eye?"
Throwing off the covers, Lupin smiled back, sarcastically. "I'm going to kill you very slowly."
Sirius laughed. "I'd be careful if I were you, Remus. I said that to Peter and I had twelve years for it. Clearly, the Ministry are stamping down on threats." He shook the paper and coughed. Something was troubling him, although Merlin only knew what. "Have you seen this, Remus?"
Lupin rolled his eyes. "No. It's today's paper. As far as I'm aware I've been asleep."
"Yes, sleeping otherwise known as practising contortionism," quipped Sirius. "It's from a while back now. I found it this morning in the library. It's got a piece on the Champions. Did you read what it said about Harry?"
Lupin vaguely remembered reading Rita Skeeter at the foot of the page and turning swiftly over. "No. You know I don't read anything by Rita Skeet…Shit! What did she say about him?"
Sirius attempted an expression of nonchalance. "Nothing really, just made him out to be a complete idiot; the usual sort of stuff. Listen, I'm going to try and see him soon, maybe spend some time as Snuffles in Hogsmeade."
Lupin frowned. "Alright then, but you're taking Buckbeak."
"Yes Remus, because a dog riding a hippogriff will certainly be inconspicuous."
"I don't care. You might need to leave quickly and the only way you can do that, is to have an easy method of transportation always at hand."
Sirius slapped his friend round the back of the head with the rolled up newspaper. "Never heard of a little thing called Apparation, Remus?"
Lupin smiled grimly. "You might need protection. Just take him."
"Alright, yes mother, I will. Anyway, I can't go yet. Harry still won't let me. Besides, I haven't set you up with my baby cousin yet, have I?"
Lupin sighed. He would never hear the end of this. "Stop calling her 'baby'. I feel enough of a pervert as it is and frankly, Harry is far more important than any of my romantic endeavours. You could just go; I can figure this out myself."
Sirius guffawed. "Remus, you can barely seduce yourself. I dread to think what would happen if I let you loose on an actual female. Aside from that, I have a genius plan and it would be a shame to miss out on it."
If Lupin hadn't been nervous before, he certainly was now.
