Inukashi had two dogs in the dorm when Nezumi returned from Shion's house with a pile of leftovers and Karan's cell phone number, "Just in case of emergencies! I don't want you to be at college and not know who to call if you need help."

"Goddammit," Nezumi sighed, packing tupperware into Inukashi's minifridge. "Was the fact that I dyed the first dog pink too subtle a message?"

"You know what'll happen if you fuck with one of my dogs again," Inukashi snarled.

Nezumi's jaw tightened. "I'm not sharing leftover pie."

"You dick!" Inukashi yelled, but they were grinning.

"What did you do over break, anyway?" Nezumi asked.

Inukashi shrugged. "Went home. Saw the family. Came back."

"Big group?"

"You have no idea," Inukashi sighed. "And everyone brought their dogs. Which is how I ended up with this guy." They tickled the pillow dog's new friend, which was a fairly normal-looking Golden Retriever puppy.

"That's going to end up huge," Nezumi said. "When they come investigating your ass, I'm going to tell them I was out having wild sex all the time and I had no idea that you were illegally keeping pets in here."

"I'm taking you down with me if your rat, though," Inukashi said, looking significantly at Nezumi's wardrobe. "Keeping loose mice isn't the best in a dorm, either."

Nezumi popped open the door and dropped a handful of crumbs on the top shelf. "They're way less noticeable than two huge mutts, you have to admit."

"I don't have to admit jack shit."

Nezumi smiled down at Inukashi. "How I missed you."

They flipped him off. "Probably cuz I'm the only person on this campus who doesn't want to suck your dick."

"Oh please," Nezumi sighed, flopping on his bed. "I only try to charm the pretty people."

"Heh," Inukashi snorted, "get you drunk and see who you go after. I hear it's anyone with a pair of lips."

Nezumi rolled over so his back was to the room. "I neither confirm nor deny those gross allegations."

"I bet you'd make out with Shion given half a chance."

"Fuck off," Nezumi snapped, whipping around to glare at a smug Inukashi. "I have some standards, Jesus!"

"Didja grab him over the turkey, or did you wait till pie?" Inukashi laughed, staggering to their feet and backing away as Nezumi rose like the kraken, looming furiously.

"I told you to fuck right off," Nezumi said.

Inukashi's smile died. They looked at him speculatively. "Mmm. Well I struck a nerve. In your own time, then."

Nezumi glared, then sat back down on his bed.

"Is he even gay?" Inukashi asked.

Nezumi smirked. "Oh, he needs to come out. I can feel him sucking my dick from the other side of the wall."

"Tee Em Aye," Inukashi gagged. "I did not need that image, dear god."

Nezumi's smirk widened and turned wicked. "Why, Inukashi, are you shy?"

Inukashi covered their ears and began chanting, "I don't want to know your sex plans, I don't want to know your sex plans."

Nezumi made a few obscene hand gestures until Inukashi shut their eyes as well. Then he flopped back on his bed and sighed deeply.

"What're you gonna do?" Inukashi asked after a moment.

"Do what I always do. Hook up with anything that moves."

"You vain, lazy fucker," Inukashi said. "Is 'commitment' a foreign word to you?"

"Yes."

"Diva."

"Dog fetishizer."

"You're just making up words, you—"

With impeccable timing, Shion burst into the room and gasped, "I think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so I could have one in my fishbowl and be like OH YEAH TINY MANATEE."

There was a silence. Inukashi and Nezumi made eye contact.

"I've got a thing," Nezumi said, standing up quickly. "I have to go to the… thing."

Shion blinked at him, eyes wide and sad. "Oh. But… I thought we could talk about manatees. They're my mom's favorite animal after dugongs. Remember my mom?"

Nezumi's eyes narrowed. "It's a party thing. Choir."

Shion kept staring mournfully. "I hope you liked my mom's cooking at least."

Nezumi groaned. "You manipulative little— Fine, you can come." He directed a middle finger at Inukashi without looking at the insufferably all-knowing look on their face. "Inukashi's not invited though because they're a dick."

"Speaking of dicks, Shion—" Inukashi began, but Nezumi grabbed his jacket and grabbed Shion and stomped out, yelling, "I will have vengeance!"

Inukashi stretched and began petting both of their dogs at once. "Just like over Thanksgiving Break, eh boys?" Pillow dog huffed his approval and the new Golden Retriever pup relieved herself on the floor.


Shion was clutching a red cup of beer with both hands, wishing he'd managed to grab a joint before Nezumi had kidnapped him to this party. He stared at the flat drink—it had lost its foam two hours ago—and sighed. He was starting to feel sober but the beer still didn't look appetizing.

"God, d'you see her with the Princess?" he heard a girl next to him say.

"Where's a princess?" Shion asked, glancing around. "Is she wearing a pointy ribbon hat?"

The girl laughed, an edge of meanness to her tone. "Oh, that's what we call Nezumi. He's a spotlight hog. All the theater kids are. I don't know why they clog up our choir all the time, they have their musicals or whatever. He's the worst, though. He comes in here, all attitude because he thinks he's the shit, and it's like, who invited this guy?"

The girl next to her grinned and tugged her glasses down so she could look over the tops of them at the mean girl. "You sure you ain't mad just cuz he pulled the same phone trick on you?"

"Phone trick? Like a magic trick?" Shion asked, stepping closer while the mean girl fumed.

"No," the bespectacled girl laughed. "If he doesn't like someone who's asking for his phone number, he says he'll dial it in for them—look, see, he's got that girl's phone now—and then he punches in one of those text-to-donate-to-Haiti numbers."

Shion stared at Nezumi, who had moved on to not-quite-smiling at a lanky sophomore boy. "That's so cool."

"Asshole," the bespectacled girl said affably. "Gotta say, though, I'll bet their donation rates have tripled since he got to college."

"He's popular?" Shion asked.

"In a way."

"In all the wrong ways," the mean girl piped up.

"Oh fuck off," the bespectacled girl sighed, draining her beer. She burped, then added, "He's got a lot of boys and girls after his ass, and he's willing to give it up, but I haven't seen him hold hands with anyone in public whether he was drunk or sober. You're Shion, right?"

"How do you know me?" Shion asked, mouth dropping open. "Can you read minds?"

"No," she laughed, "you're just the only person I've heard him talk about consistently. You're kind of hard to miss."

"Yeah, he's always going on about how annoying his albino neighbor is," the other girl snapped. "Is it true you're high all the time?"

"He hasn't called him annoying since the first week," the bespectacled girl began, but Shion put a polite hand on her shoulder.

"You're mean," Shion told the mean girl. "You should stop talking now." The bespectacled girl looked up at him with a faint approving look in her eye, then wandered off for more beer. Shion walked off in the other direction, pulled his phone out and tucked himself into a corner very tightly, still clutching his own untouched beer to his chest. He dialed the second number he knew by heart.

"Hi, Safu," he said. "Oh, yeah, I'm at a party. Remember how you told me that thing about feelings for friends? If I got any I should tell you right away? Right, right. Yeah, I do. Remember my neighbor? No, the one who's definitely a guy. I think I super duper like him in a more-than-friendly way." Shion took the phone away from his ear then and frowned. Even with the sound of choir kids chatting, Safu's shrill little voice still piped out its fury. "Jeez, Safu, I thought you'd be happy for me," he said into the mouthpiece after a moment. "I don't fall in love everyday, damn. You're mean, too. I'm going home." He hung up, left his beer on a table, and walked out into the night with his hands crammed in the pockets of his sweater. Only one person noticed that he'd left. Nezumi frowned as Shion shut the door, then turned back to his latest conquest with a newly determined look in his eye.