After Fitz and I had our talk I went to go and find Julia. I felt like it was time that fate made up its mind about me. This whole waiting game was getting old.

I found Julia at our park again. She was sitting at the picnic table where we had used to do homework at. Soft sunlight streamed down from the trees and dappled Julia's face. She was glowing like the angel she was. I felt a pang in my chest; I really did miss having Julia around. Though my feelings for her were more platonic than when she'd been alive, Julia had always understood me and I missed that.

I sat down next to her on the bench. She turned her face to me and I smiled at all the little freckles that dotted her cheeks and the bridge of her nose.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," she replied, her lips curling into a grin. "You talk to Fitz?"

"Yeah," I replied, "It helped. I feel a lot better now."

She nodded and we sat there quietly. Julia and I had always shared these quiet moments together when we'd dated. We were comfortable in our silence, and even now, I still felt at ease with her.

"Jules?" I asked. "When do I get to find out? If I'm alive or dead, I mean."

Julia turned away from me, but not before I saw the crushed expression on her face.

"Do you really hate being here with me that much?" she asked quietly. Her nimble fingertips drummed against the table; a nervous habit she'd always had.

"You know that's not it," I protested. "I just, I need to know Julia. I can't wait much longer."

Julia stood up abruptly and crossed her arms over her chest. She walked a couple feet away from me and leaned against the trunk of a tree. She stared out at the slowly dying sun.

I walked up behind her and as I did, I noticed something on the tree. E + J 4E was carved into bark. Eli and Julia forever. Forever for us had ended two weeks after that had been written.

"I'm sorry," I said. Julia didn't respond but she brought her hand up to her face and swiped at her cheeks.

"Hey-" I said softly and turned her around. Tears gleamed in Julia's bright green eyes.

"I miss you, every day," Julia sobbed quietly. "I watch over you, do you know that? I make sure that you're happy. I try-I try to be happy for you, but it's so damn hard. How can I be happy for you when I don't get to b-be with you anymore?"

"I still love you," I whispered and brushed away one of her tears.

Julia shook her head at me and a small, miserable smile appeared on her face. "Not like you used to though."

She was right. Julia was more like a sister to me now. I would never love her like I loved Clare. Julia's love had been my first but Clare's love was my forever.

"I'm sorry-" I started to say but Julia pressed her lips against mine. It was a desperate kiss, a kiss that begged for one more chance. I gently pushed Julia away from me.

She put a hand to her mouth and looked away. Then she nervously met my eyes.

"There's no hope in asking you to stay with me, is there?" Julia asked.

"I don't belong here," I said. Julia just nodded, like she already knew that would be my answer.

"I'm sorry, for you know, kissing you," she said awkwardly.

"It's alright," I replied, shrugging my shoulders.

"I uh, think it's time I come clean to you," she said timidly. "I don't want you to hate me or anything, but I wasn't completely honest with you when you first got here."

"What?" I asked slowly.

"You were always going to live," Julia said plainly. I just stared at her. "You were never going to really die, the doctors were always going to save you."

"Why would you make me think I might die?" I asked, my voice shaking. I couldn't help it. I was angry. I'd been trying to come to terms with the fact that there might be a possibility of dying all day only to find out it was never going to happen.

"Don't be mad," Julia begged, latching on to my arm but I yanked it away.

"I can't believe you would do that! Was that your idea of some kind of sick joke?" Rolls of fury rippled in my body; God I was pissed.

"If I had told you from the beginning that you were always going to live, would you have really let me show you everything you saw today?" Julia cried. I didn't respond so she continued. "No, Eli you wouldn't have. You would have sat by Clare in the waiting room the whole time. What I showed you today mattered! It's going to change your life when you wake up. You needed that change, you needed to see what your actions can do to the people around you!"

I guess I knew Julia was right, if I had known I wasn't going to die I probably wouldn't have left Clare's side. I was still irritated though.

"Ok, fine, you were right not to tell me," I said, rolling my eyes.

I turned and glanced over at Julia who wore a smug expression on her face.

"Stop gloating." I couldn't help but snap. "When do I get to wake up?"

Julia smiled at me.

"There's just one more thing I have to show you, and then you can wake up," she chirped gleefully. "Trust me Elijah, you're going to be glad you stuck around for this." She grabbed my hand and led me away. As we walked the light around us got brighter and brighter, until we walked into blinding whiteness.