Garden State Parkway
It was a good idea to go away. While the guys played golf all the girls drove down to Atlantic City together.
"Katniss, you look like you lost a few pounds." Madge said.
"Thanks, exercise and diet."
Annie asked, "the gym?"
"Sorta." I said.
"What do you mean sorta?" Madge asked.
"Well..."
"Katniss took up pole dancing." Prim said.
"Thanks big mouth."
"How are the tips?" Annie asked.
"Annie, I don't strip! It's just for exercise!"
"But you could, right?" Annie asked.
"I won't but Prim got a job offer." I said "You go girl!"
Prim turned around. "Thanks Clove!"
"Prim! Slow down and keep your eyes on the road!" I don't know why we agreed to let her drive. She's always turning around, speeding and changing lanes. All in all, she was a crappy driver. "Will you just stay in the right lane. You have to stay in the right lane on the parkway."
"Kit-Kat, don't get your panties in a bunch." She speeds up. "And I'm sure they're big panties now." I would have said something back, but she was right.
"Just slow down before you get pulled over."
"Hey you two in the back! Can't you wait to get to a room.?" Prim yelled out.
"What do you care? You jealous or something because you can't get a good-looking woman like Clove?" Jo stuck her tongue out at Prim and Clove leaned over and kissed her.
Prim swung around. "I could get any woman I wanted!"
"Oh for fucking Christ Prim! Keep your eyes on the road." I had to grab the wheel to keep the car on the road. "Turn around and drive."
"Katniss, if I brown my panties I'm gonna blame you!"
"Why is it my fault Madge?"
"She's your sister!"
"Hey, you two might be sisters in law one day!"
"Don't remind me." Madge said.
"Hey! You'd be lucky to have me join the family!"
"Please just drive Prim!" I yelled.
WOOOP! WOOOP! WOOOP! I heard the siren and saw the lights. We got pulled over.
"Jesus Prim. I told you to slow the fuck down!"
"Now we're gonna be late!" Annie said.
"You're such an idiot!" Jo chimed in
"Relax ladies. I'll take care of this." Prim said.
I wasn't sure I liked the sound of this. "What are you going to do?"
"Don't worry. I'll take care of this."
"How?" We all asked.
"I'm not wearing any underwear." She said.
"SHIT! Don't you dare flash the cop! I swear to God Prim!" I yelled in a low voice.
"I told you not to worry."
"You better not Prim! I'm sick of ending up in jail with you!" Madge said. "Don't flash the cop!"
"Just don't worry."
"Please Prim. I don't want to spend my anniversary in a police station!" Annie said.
"I think these would be trooper barracks, and don't worry."
"WHATEVER PRIM! JUST DON'T DO IT!" I never heard Annie yell like that.
"Excuse me, may I ask a question?"
"Johanna, you have the floor."
"Thank you Prim. Did you shave this morning?"
"Very much."
"Then go for it." Suddenly four women yelled, "JO!"
"Ma'am." The trooper said at the window.
Prim turned her head, "I er, um..." I was always fascinated by what could get Prim to shut up. And now I added one more to list. The sight of a female trooper.
"Are you okay ma'am?" She asked Prim.
"I... er... um..."
"I heard you the first time ma'am. License, registration and insurance certificate."
"She's okay. She just took stupid pills this morning. Here is the registration and the insurance." I smacked Prim in the arm. "Give the trooper your license." She fumbled through her purse. She finally found it.
"Excuse me trooper. You look familiar. I think we attended a seminar together. Maybe accident reconstruction?"
"Yeah, it's Detective Mellark, right?"
"Yup, I'm on maternity leave now. It's Janice, right?"
"Yes."
"Do you mind if I get out and stretch?"
"Not at all. Walk back to my cruiser." After she walked away I read Prim the riot act.
"You listen to me. You stay in that seat and keep your mouth shut. Got it?" She turned to me and nodded.
"This is my new cocktail party story. Ouch! Clove! Why did you hit me?"
"You're making things worse." Clove said to Jo. "Leave her alone."
"Thank you..."
"KATNISS TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!" Wow, little Annie packed a punch.
When I got back to the car. "Move over." I said to Prim.
"Why?"
"Because that was the deal to get you off. So move the fuck over." Prim climbed to the passenger seat."
"I don't see why..."
"You never see why. That's your problem. You can't seem to understand that the whole fuckin' world doesn't revolve around you. Jesus Prim, open your God damn ears sometimes and listen." Prim just stared forward and kept quiet. I almost felt sorry for her. I said almost.
We spent the next five minutes beating her up.
"Oh, and one more thing. The trooper said to give you her phone number." I handed the card to Prim. She beamed, turned around and waved the card.
"See, I can get any woman I want!" She might be a princess, but she's my princess. And I think I might be looking after her for many years to come.
