My Unpleasant Valentine
The ant tunnels around here were not unlike old mining tunnels. It was dimly lit by some still-functioning footlights set up around every other corner.
Unfortunately around this area the Ant Queen had its soldiers guarding the nest area, so Rip had to be extra quiet and not attract attention. She took all four of them out one by one, and to say it was with ease would be a lie. She had to put in extra effort to remain practically invisible.
Finally she came to a tunnel where there was a large clearing, a shallow pool of water, and there sitting in the center was the Ant Queen. It really did look like a throne room, and the Queen itself was at least seven times bigger than the other ants Rip encountered. She shuddered as that creepy-crawly feeling came over her again.
Well, it was now or never. Time to go into the fray.
She reached into her pocket and took out one of the little nectar sacs. She tore open a little hole and sucked it dry like a blood pack. It was rather sickly sweet; there was something about the flavor towards the back of her tongue that had a bit of a medicinal flavor to it. That and the sap-like consistency nearly made her gag.
She suddenly experienced this sensation that was like some kind of healing agent had rushed through her bloodstream. That sort of rejuvenated fresh feeling that one's tongue experiences after taking a peppermint.
Rip pulled out her gun, leaned into the clearing and fired.
She gave at least five shots, all of them aiming for the Queen's eye. It barely made a dent in the creature, literally. Damn, its exoskeleton was strong.
It was still angered and charged at her in response, albeit slowly since it had its enlarged abdomen to deal with. But it still had its fiery breath, and it exhaled furiously at the intruder.
Before she could be cornered by the Queen Rip slinked out of the narrow tunnel and into the clearing, taking advantage of its slow turning radius by rushing around its right side towards the back.
Rip looked around for a heavy object she could use as a bludgeoning tool. A sledgehammer had been left leaning on the wall near one of the lights. That was convenient.
She took hold of the hammer and dodged another blast from the Queen's fire. Nearly singed her hair.
She made her way around to the Queen's left side, hoping that in addition to a limited turning radius that maybe she could confuse it or make it dizzy.
Rip swung the hammer down on the Queen's legs, crippling it so it would be harder to move around. The Queen squirmed a bit, no doubt in shock of the loss of half its legs. And Rip took this moment to bring the hammer down on the Queen's head, smashing its exoskeleton open like an oversized egg with an unusually thick shell.
She was glad she could make its death quick. But Rip also made a disgusted face; ant-innards had gotten on her boots and up to the knees of her pants. They were still cleaner than the sledgehammer was, but she was going to have to change now.
As Rip made her way back through the tunnels she took the time to survey her physical condition. No broken bones or open wounds.
And apparently fire ant nectar worked like a dream. The worst of it was that Rip's right arm had been reddened and dry. Like mild sunburn it just needed some moisturizer and it ought to be fine.
She made it back up to the Doctor's lab, and the Doctor and Schrodinger had already gone. Apparently they weren't going to stick around to say "thank you".
Or they threw her in the pit as a distraction while they made their way out. Bastards.
Whatever. That didn't matter now. She was still alive and the Doctor did as he promised, leaving behind as much supplies as he could afford for her to use, and access to his computer.
Schrodinger had hinted that there may have been information about the dark-haired man in the red coat. Or maybe the little snot was just coaxing her into doing this assignment.
Again, it didn't matter. She took the little disk left on the desk, entered it into the necessary slot, and the computer woke up with the glowing green text on the screen.
Most of the information was corrupted, like the machine equivalent of a handwritten note being smudged. However she could make out a little bit of it that was readable.
"He must be insane. What he has proposed would only be more of a detriment to the army than of any help. He and his obsession with genetics-" And all that followed was more of a corrupted file.
This only left her more confused than before. She knew this was what Schrodinger wanted her to see, but this was of no real help. There wasn't even a description of what this colleague of the Doctor's was.
She fought a giant Ant Queen for THIS?! Rip slammed her head against the computer keyboard with a frustrated growl. Now she wished Schrodinger was here so she could give that little brat the spanking he deserved.
She gave herself about ten minutes to let her frustration simmer down. She then took any necessary supplies the Doctor left behind and shipped off through the subway tunnels again.
Rip's plan was to head back to Tenpenny and, as instructed, let the Major know of the former residents of Grayditch.
She finally got out of the subway and back onto the town streets.
And just when she had gotten used to everything being so quiet...
"There she is!" she heard someone declare. "Have at her, boys!"
Before she knew it she was surrounded by three guys in battle armor, and on the left breast plates were these symbols that looked like an eagle's talon inside a cartoon heart. Except for their leader, (or presumably their leader,) who instead was dressed in a black suit that still had the symbol in the same place. They all had gotten closer and started firing with their automatic rifles.
Rip had leapt out of the way (how handy it was being a vampire with fast senses and reflexes), just barely avoiding getting her legs shot off. She thought she felt a bullet graze the outmost layer of her boot.
"Aw, f***, yeah!" the dark-skinned leader delightfully declared. "A f***in' challenge!"
"But, Jan, didn't the notice say she was a-" one of the soldiers pointed out.
"You shut your f***in' mouth!" Jan retorted. "I know what he said! It's just more fun this way!"
Rip took cover behind some debris from a concrete building as she retrieved her hunting rifle.
"You know what?!" Jan added in a mad frenzy. "Hold your f***in' fire! This one's mine! I want her goddamn head on my wall!" He dashed towards her hiding spot. "Come 'ere, Pippi Longstocking!"
But when he got to where she was taking cover she was already gone. "Where the f*** did she- GYAAAAAH!" From behind him she shot him in the legs multiple times until he could no longer stand up.
His lackeys began firing on her again and she got a bullet in the right arm.
With such excruciating pain it was hard to hold her gun up, but even if she didn't kill them right away she at least managed to shoot one of the soldier's hands so some of his fingers got blown off and he couldn't hold his own weapon. That one ran away like a coward. She shot the other one in the throat, though she was aiming for his head.
With those two incapacitated, now to deal with their leader.
She grabbed him by the shirt collar and propped him against the debris.
She was finally able to get a good look at him. With his teeth gritted she could see from his canines that he was a vampire as well. Yet again, a very tanned one at that. His brown hair was darker than his own skin tone, he had multiple gold piercings on his face, and on his black ski cap was a big, mystic-looking yellow-colored eye that matched his own.
"You crazy bitch!"
"Okay, so now you're going to tell me who sent you to kill me," she said sternly.
"And just what makes you think I'm gonna-"
Before he could finish Rip had her gun aimed at his nose.
"I will be getting that information either way." She grinned as she slowly lowered her gun until it was aimed at his crotch. "Unless you wish I should shoot your balls off NOW!"
"OKAY! OKAY! OKAY!" Jan reached into a breast pocket and pulled out a small slip of paper.
As soon as he handed it to Rip she unfolded and read the note, now pushing the gun into his chest and pinning him down, as if she was merely leaning on a cane.
"GAAAAAHH! F***, THAT HURTS!" Jan screamed.
The note read:
The most useful and most efficient Jan and Luke Valentine,
I have another assassination job for you to do. This time your target is a young woman who goes by the name of Rip Van Winkle. We've recently done business together and it's in my best interest that she be eliminated forthwith.
You can't miss her. She has long bluish-black hair with one odd strand that sticks up like a bug's antenna, freckled face, wears glasses, pale complexion, blue eyes, looks to be in her late teens or early twenties. (It's hard to tell with vampires.)
As usual, try to make it look like the Raiders got to her. Or maybe some Deathclaws. Either way, you have my permission to be as brutal as you so please, just try not to make it look like she was a deliberate target.
Your most loyal client,
Herr Major.
The whole time she was reading the note she had this very calm, almost stoic look on her face, which Jan found even more unsettling. She lowered the sheet of paper and exhaled sharply through her nose. Jan let out a small noise; he just knew she was going to let him have it.
"Thank you very much, Herr Valentine," she said with a smile. "You've been most cooperative."
Jan braced himself for a point-blank range gunshot, but instead she just hit him on the head with the butt of her gun and knocked him out cold.
Goddamn, her arm was in pain.
She rummaged the pockets of the one dead soldier and at least he had a Stimpak, an inoculation that sped up the healing process for serious injuries. She'd have to actually see a doctor to get the bullet removed first, but at least she had the Stimpak to heal her arm afterwards. And for now she got some bandages on it to slow down the bleeding.
As she walked away it occurred to her that it was probably more humiliating to let Jan live like that, because now he has to face his colleagues and admit he got beat up by a girl.
The very thought of that made her laugh.
