Chapter Nine
Forgiveness

Draco sat cross-legged on his bed, his curtains were pulled so Blaise or Nott wouldn't disturb him. He impatiently waited, his hand fiddling back and forth with the key he had taken from around his neck. It felt at home in his fingers, about his neck, even though it was eternally linked to Harry he couldn't help but feel a pull on it in himself as well. The tighter he gripped it, the closer he felt to the brunette whom he feared was going to slip away.

What was he going to do, if Harry left him waiting longer than he could handle or decided to never come to him at all? As much as he would want to he could not bring himself to pursue him, not when he knew he wasn't wanted. It would hurt, it would leave him feeling more detached and lonelier than he had felt since the Final Battle. Despite what he knew he felt, he simply would not force Harry into anything he wasn't sure of. Coercing was one thing but Draco couldn't bring himself further than that. As he sat, he recalled moments of the War. The first moment when he knew he could never turn back; on his knees, pain jolting through every nerve in his body from the Cruciatus Curse as he was bowed before the Dark Lord, his arm newly burned with the wretched Dark Mark. He had felt sick to his stomach, his head spun but he knew he had to keep his wits, without his pledged allegiance and obedience his family was in grave danger, his Father and more importantly his own Mother's life was at stake, all riding on him and his completion of his impossible mission. He felt faintly, deep inside, that he was being sent into a trap as penance for his Father's mistakes. It wasn't fair but not much in the idiotic War had been fair to anybody on any side of any rank. Draco would take his role, with that sickly pride he knew he would even though it would be the last thing he would ever attempt to do on Earth - or so he thought. If it hadn't been for Severus Snape, he would have been lost as would his family. Dumbledore had offered his protection as well as his family's, but he knew it couldn't work like that, Voldemort would get to his Mother before the late Headmaster could have. Draco was left with no choice in the matter and he had to bear his cross. Only on the day that Harry, Ron and Hermione were within the Malfoy Manor itself during the Easter holidays did he feel the burden of that cross too heavy to carry much longer. He may have despised the Mudblood, not only for her birthright but mostly for her grades, always besting him. He may have hated the whole lot of the Weasley's, disgraces to Purebloods, since he was only a little child. He may have been envious, rattled with malicious jealousy for seven years, of Harry who never choice the life he was given. But to sell them out to certain death? It was too much for him. He didn't want that, he didn't want any of it from the mark on his arm to the standings of his family. He wished they could have receded into the grey of it all, no Dark no Light, just grey.

As he had told Harry, it was there, in his Manor as he gazed onto those brilliant emerald eyes that he felt the strongest tug at his heart he ever had. That foolhardy bravery, to risk his life at seventeen just because of that ridiculous prophecy. To run into battle, screaming, without looking back or a second thought. Draco admired such courage, he wished he had more of it within himself to deny the Dark Lord and take Dumbledore's offer despite the repercussions that may have ensued. It just could have meant losing his Mother and Father and Draco just did not think he could bear that, they were his world and he was theirs.

Then he thought of the moment just outside the doors of the Great Hall, when he had his hand out-stretched, offering an allegiance and friendship to The Golden Boy. The response he received, though he would never admit it, truly stung him. It's where his unfounded hatred stemmed from, when his jealousy took a different face that he held strongly onto for so many years. Draco hoped he could make up for it, hoped he could show Harry just how remorseful he had been of his previous actions. He recalled the victory celebrations after the Battle of Hogwarts in the destroyed Great Hall. The mourning of the dead, the cheers of success, Draco and his family idly sat completely unsure of their place in all of it. He wanted to run over to Harry, to hug him, to thank him for everything, for freeing his Father and him from their debt he never wanted to pay back to that half-breed lunatic. If only things could have been that simple.

Coming to Hogwart's for the Eighth Year, Draco saw it as a new opportunity to show his worth and contrition to his classmate, but after weeks of studying him closely and his odd withdrawn behaviours, he began to know him more than he ever had over the years. He began to empathize for him, to feel a deep rooted connection in what they had separately been through yet how they came out much the same. He waited patiently for his opportunity to get closer, to understand him more, and not to mention the obsession he was having over his trunk all the while - his feelings began to grow, to morph into something new and intimidating. Draco was scared of himself at first, fearful of the way his mind was beginning to see Harry, but when he let it take over him fully he had never felt more strangely in the right.

Those kisses, the feeling of them sharing something so intimate with one another, the way Harry's hands felt against his chest and his against the brunette's key...it was something Draco never wanted to give up, something he yearned to feel again, the thought of letting it slip through his fingers terrified him. Yet, there was still this key that he held onto and with it all his hopes. That key, that blind trust, it had to mean something he felt was returned. Even if it was small, it had to be something.

He continued gripping the key, biting his lip, and when he heard the dormitory door slowly creak open and then click shut again and a voice whisper a silencing charm, his heart stopped. Draco found himself cemented to his bed, breathing slowly. Light footsteps across the floor, he heard a cloak unclasped and drop to the floor and a sigh along with it.

"Draco," Harry started softly, now standing just outside of the drawn curtains, "I-er, can I come in? I really don't want to do this without seeing you," he sounded nervous, almost just as nervous as Draco felt. Slowly, Draco leaned forward and parted his curtains, he smiled up at the brunette. "There you are," he whispered, finding a spot for himself not far from Draco's crossed legs, he sat dangling over the edge of the foreign bed.

"Harry, about before-"

"No, just let me talk, first. Please," he added, blushing. Draco nodded, silently looking back down at the key in his hands, he tried to concentrate on it instead of the boy sitting nonchalantly in his bed. With a shaken breath Harry started, "You were an asshole. A right git, for the whole time I knew you. You did horrible things and you were a Death Eater, those sworn to murder me and everybody else that stood in that lunatic's way. By Gods I hated you, passionately...or so I thought. Maybe I did hate you, it's really hard to say now, but what's important is that's how things were and not how they are. I know you wanted what you got just as much as I wanted what I got and it downright sucks when you're hated for something you didn't choose. Now I can't promise my friends will ever understand or accept this, but I can promise that I forgive you and I'll try my hardest to forget everything that it laid to rest behind us. I want so desperately to forget," Harry sighed, reaching out and placing his hand on top of Draco's but upon contact he hissed and retracted, the key still burnt him. "Figures," he mumbled.

Draco was quick to place the key on the bedside table, he reached out with his own hand now and held Harry's palm in between both of his own, he locked his gaze warmly to Harry's, "It is not your friends forgiveness that matters to me, only yours. I will accept theirs if it comes but I won't strive for it unless you ask me to. Yours is what matters to me, yours alone,"

Harry's red cheeks deepened and he bit his lower lip, "I know what I want, Draco. I still don't fully understand why but I know where I want to be," he leaned over their holding hands, closing his eyes now, "No place feels better than here," and he kissed him, again.

It was so easy for them both to be lost within each other, their tongues swirling together. A warm sensation blossomed in Draco's chest at Harry's words, it certainly wasn't what he had expected but he couldn't be more grateful. Harry was much quicker this time, almost with more need in his actions, as he removed Draco's cloak and pushed him backwards onto the bed. Draco allowed himself to fall down, Harry landed heavily over him, pressing every inch of his body up against his own. His hands worked at his blouse, once it was unbuttoned they snaked around to his bare back and pulled Harry more roughly down onto him, their mouths still feverishly exploring one another's. Harry's breathing became ragged, he pushed up off of Draco for a moment to lean up on his arms and peer back at the blond who met him with clouded, grey eyes. A moment passed but seemed to linger there still, something connected them. When Harry bent back down over the blond, his mouth trailed along the nape of his bare neck.

"Ooh," Draco breathed, throwing his head back, it was the simplest of touches that were bringing him close to an edge. The way Harry's fingers were working their way about his lean sides, or his one hand that tousled through his fine hair, but mostly it was his tongue and teeth that scraped across his neck, he sucked and licked and...Draco was gone, he found himself moaning and his own hands were now lost in the unruly hair, one of his hands scratching Harry's back now, digging in between the toned shoulder blades. Without thought Draco bucked his hips up into Harry, the brunette groaned and ground down into him, they both shivered as they felt one another's growing arousal.

The sound of the door swinging open was enough to send them both flying apart. Draco was quick, he reached for the wand still in his trousers pocket - the only item of clothing left on him - and yelled "Stupefy!" stunning whoever had just interrupted what had to have been the greatest thing he had ever felt. Harry was sitting awkwardly on top of him, half-straddling him and the edge of the bed and breathing heavily. "Bloody hell," the blond swore, immediately hating the feeling of Harry's body moving away from his.

"Er, right. Maybe we should consider locking the door from now on," Harry was rosy-cheeked, his lips swollen just as equally as Draco's neck was.

"Not a voyeur then, Potter?" he muttered teasingly, swinging off the bed and following suit as he got dressed. Harry was softly closing the door now, looking perplexedly down at the stunned Eighth Year boy.

"Not at all. But it's more so the fact that if I'm caught in the act I'm caught doing it with you," Harry pointed out but then quickly looked up shaking his head at Draco's frown, "Not that I'm ashamed or anything but-"

"I know, the Weasel and your petty friends. It will take a life-time to redeem myself from them especially being that I never wish to," he drawled and then pointed down at Nott, "What of him?"

"A life-time? Draco, do you mean-"

"Do not ask impossible questions, Harry," Draco swiftly cut him off, "I only meant to say I understand if your friends will never accept this, whatever you make of us," he gestured between the two of them.

Harry was blushing, shifting between his two feet, "Er, actually, I don't think Hermione will mind so much. She won't like it at all but...it's Ron that I'm worried about,"

Draco was frowning deeper now, how did he ever expect this to go? Harry was never going to risk his friendship with the Weasel more than he already was. "And Ginny?" he asked from the corner of his eye, his voice low. The only female Weasley child was a blind spot for Draco, he had no idea what had gone on between them or the relationship they still shared. For all he knew, behind closed doors, there was something going on he would never know of.

Yet, he was taken aback at Harry's chuckle and smile that graced his face, "Ginny? Uhm...she's the reason I'm here right now. She told me to come for you. I think she could tell..." Harry blushed and stopped talking, it was one thing to think of his feelings but a whole other one to talk about them out loud with the object of his new found, budding affection.

"Really? Hm," Draco sounded genuinely surprised but then pointed once again at Nott, "What of him?" The truth was, Draco didn't particularly mind others discovering whatever it was they had started. It was his parents he was worried about but he knew his Mother would come to terms if she ever knew, she would support whatever decisions he made, he was her only son and all she wanted was his happiness no matter who gave it to him. His Father, well, he didn't particularly deserve a second thought. The decision, to how open they could be, all lay in Harry's response on what to do with the stunned boy at their feet.

"I guess it's too late, he must have seen something -"

"Ever heard of a handy little charm called Obliviate?" Draco drawled, rolling his eyes, sometimes he wondered if Harry forgot entirely that he was a Wizard.

"Oh, shove off, Malfoy. But, can you control how much you obliviate? I mean, Hermione was great at them and all but she never could control how much of their memories she took," Harry's voice fell, thinking briefly of Hermione's parents, living their lives as if they had never had a daughter, not understanding what the empty feeling inside of their hearts was.

"Did it often, did she? Yes, I know how to control how much I erase. It is up to you, Harry, if we just leave it or-"

"Obliviate him, definitely. I'm not ready for Ron..." Harry sighed, those moments with Draco, when all thoughts escaped him and it was just the two of them, together, touching and talking, it felt like a perfection he never knew was possible. So why did it have to be so damn complicated and convoluted by so many things?

"Your wish, my will," Draco half-heartedly said, raising his wand at the boy, "You know, you would probably be much more efficient at this than I am. Obliviate," a light came across the boy's face, something blinked across his stunned eyes, erasing. "Better go, Nott despises you. To be fair he despises everybody,"

"Right, well, uhm...Happy Christmas Eve, Draco, I guess I'll see you around," Harry quickly stepped up to him, kissed him lightly across the lips before hurrying out of the dormitory, taking one quick glance back at Nott, still stunned though obliviated on the ground.

"Yeah, see you," Draco grumbled and then lifted his stunning hex on his house mate who hurried to his feet, befuddled and rattled.

"Malfoy? What the hell just happened I was coming up here to get my cloak and..." Nott confusedly thought for a moment, trying to grasp at what had happened next.

"You ran into the door you dunce," he drawled, retreating back to his bed, ignoring Nott who took a few collective moments before he continued on.

Draco's heart felt heavy. He was indeed overjoyed at Harry's decision to indulge in whatever they were becoming but it came with a price Draco didn't want to pay; that of hiding it, hiding what he felt, keeping his facade as clean as possible even in moments when he didn't wish to. It hurt him to recognize it was all because of the Weasel that he and Harry would most likely fail or at least progress impossibly slow. He didn't want this, a relationship built on so many conditions. But that's all it was so far, conditions with the slight hints of something more. Unfortunately, there wasn't much he could do to change that, at least not yet.

XXXXXXXXXX

Christmas Day had gone smoothly, boring as Draco had suspected. He got many packages of clothing and a whole new robe set from his Mother and a few books from his Father. Down in the Common Room, he read one of his new Potion texts as he watched Harry happily exchanging gifts with his friend. Draco tried his best not to feel sour or jealous, unable to join in. It was down at dinner in the Great Hall when something truly interesting occurred. The Professors, as most previous years, joined the few students left over for the holidays for dinner. The table was a roar with conversation, Harry was sitting four seats away, talking animatedly to Ron, it was honestly the happiest anybody had seen him in awhile. Every few minutes, when he was certain nobody was paying any attention, he would seek out Draco and smile at him, sometimes mouthing a greeting and then blushing before turning back to his friends.

Blaise was chattering about the upcoming NEWTs, not exactly a festive conversation, but it created enough distraction for Draco. "Sorry, Mr Zabini, but if I may interrupt?" Professor Godelot seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. Draco tensed immediately, nodding to his friend who merely shrugged and reluctantly slid down the table, offering a spot to their Dark Arts Professor.

What happened next Draco was not expecting in the least. It happened so fast, he felt his mind being invaded, prodded and he didn't have the time to block himself with Occlumency. He felt as though Godelot was inside of his head, riffling through his thoughts and memories. She pushed quickly past the ones he brought to the forefront and Draco, sitting dazed at the Great Hall table, closed his eyes tightly trying to push her out. She quickly found what she sought; the memory of Draco receiving Harry's key, the note that came along with it, when he opened his trunk for the first time and what lie within it. His most recent memory came forth, of the day before in his dormitory, he shoved her out as hard as he could, begging that she hadn't seen Harry pressed down on top of him. When he felt his mind in his own hands again, he narrowed his eyes with clenched fists at his Professor. "Godelot, if my Father-"

"Oh, Mr Malfoy, I do believe this is the last thing you want your Father to hear about," she whispered, "Muffilato," their conversation became muffled to any around them. "The pieces are falling into place, Draco, but I need you for the rest of them to work. I require your assistance with a few pertinent Potions," she brought her finger to her mouth just as Draco was about to interrupt, "Any refusal and I will make what I know known and what I have seen, seen. I wonder what your dear Mother would think-"

"Fuck off, Godelot,"

"Now, is that any way to speak to your Professor, Mr Malfoy?" she was smirking from ear-to-ear now, she cocked her head pointedly towards the brunette who was now staring raptly in their direction with a concerned, questioning look, "I wonder what his friends would say, perhaps we should ask them?" Draco was growling now, clenching his fists on top of the table, he refused to speak, she knew she had him. "Fantastic talking with you again, Mr Malfoy, we will begin to brew the Potions come the new term. Until then, Merry Christmas. Finite,"

When she had walked a few paces away, Draco slammed his fists onto the table and swore beneath his breath. His appetite was lost. He caught Harry's eyes as he stood from the table and gestured towards the Entrance Hall. As he waited, Draco paced back and forth, mumbling to himself. As soon as Harry joined him, he hurriedly led him up the stairs. "Draco, what's wrong? What did Godelot want?"

"That bitch knew. I have no idea how but she knew, or at least now she does," he snapped, still ascending the stairs with Harry one step behind.

Harry choked, "Knew what?"

"About us, about the key and your trunk. She used Legilimancy, Harry, and so easily, too. I have never seen it happen like that since him," he hissed.

"Legilimancy? Right there, in the Great Hall? Blimey, is she mad?!"

"No, she's confident. And now she's using what she saw to get me to help her brew some Potions, I have no idea how that could help her get to what she wants but I have to do it, Harry, what she saw-"

"Dammit, why can't things just be easy?" Harry swore, of course he couldn't have one normal day, not even Christmas Day. They had stopped on the staircase landing for a moment, Draco turned to him and quickly surveyed the area, positive nobody was around to hear them.

"With us, things never can be," Draco said seriously, he reached up a hand and gently caressed the side of Harry's face, "Are you going to be okay with that? Things never being simple?"

"I can always hope," Harry muttered, frowning up at him and leaning into the touch, "The difficulties are worth it," Draco smiled, that's what he had needed to hear. "So what do you reckon we should do about Godelot, then?"

"I have an idea. It may not work but it is something. You see, I have this theory about wands and their Masters," he said pointedly, "I think it just may be the thing that can put an end to the Godelot family's little crusade,"

"And how's that?"

"You give her exactly what she wants, when the time comes. You give her the Elder Wand,"