So here you go! Chapter 8, please R&R And thank you all for those who complimented and hell, just reading this in general! I am thinking of changing the rating due to language as you will see in this chapter, not much but some... You have been warned.

So without further adieu!

*

It was late… or rather it felt late to her. Only the soft hum of the medical devices filled the air, having just woken up from who knew how long she was under. Shepard felt restless, uneasy but unsure why… she understood the strain and sorrow from what had happened but now she felt on edge, that if she did not move soon something horrible would follow.

Her mind had been plagued with nightmares every chance she had tried to sleep. Hearing Garrus's scream, dreaming of his heart shattering, watching instead of Saren's dead corpse arise and blazing crimson when transforming by Sovereigns control; but Garrus.

It was always the Turian's face that haunted her memory that made her wake up covered in cold sweat. Resting her head upon her bent up knees, Shepard felt distant within herself, the fire that had roared making her want to fight for all her worth to survive, to prevail seemed fading.

He is dead.

Shaking her head with eyes tightly shut, the woman gave a shuddering breath. Her body drained from to much weeping, unable to produce any more tears or sobs. Her stomach ached, her lungs burned and her heart felt dead.

Shepard; be strong. If you fail he will too.

She heard the faint voice in the back of her mind, opening her eyes ever so slight to focus on the white blanket resting on her legs, the woman risked a deep breath. Her ribs throbbed with pain yet she did not double over. Flexing her left ankle she felt the sting but no savage pain. Blinking the dying flames within flickered just a little brighter. The pain was not as bad; hot fiery pain lanced her right arm, the flickering screen in front of her on the other wall sparks and flickered off leaving a smoldering bullet hole.

Her senses returned ten fold, the fogginess within her mind cleared and she heard the shouts muffled by the med lab, the guns firing off. Her eyes focused on the screen before her as fire began to erupt from the console. Smoke bellowed as the flames began to consume bottles of contained liquids of various colors and viscosities.

Finding her inner strength Shepard throwing her legs over the side of the bed tenderly placed her feet in solid positions. Pushing herself with her left arm making her ribs scream in agony, her right arm cradled from the glazing wound that burned and bled, the Commander rose to her feet upon the cold metal floor.

"Shepard, do not be dead. Be strong."

Looking to the small com link flickering on one of the surviving consoles, Shepard realized that voice she had heard moments before had not been in her head.

"Mordin?"

Rushing to the console Shepard pressed the button to open the channel asking the doctor's name. Silence crackled for a few seconds making her heart seem to stop.

"Yes; now where is your location? Satellite down, cannot pin point you."

"I am in the small med lab right by-"

The explosions erupted behind her showering the woman with shards of glass and flaming liquids. Ducking down into a defensive ball covering her face with her arms Shepard felt the heat of the fire growing rapidly, the flying liquids landing anywhere aided in the fire growing. The smell of chemicals and smoke filling her lung as she on all fours crept for her armor and weapons.

"Commander? Commander where are you?"

Sorry Mordin…

She thought with a grimace as she reaching her armor with swift hands or as swift as she could began to pull the garments off and slip into her proper under suit and armor. It was a strenuous process with her ribs giving her hell with every small step.

The cold under suit send chills down the woman's spine making her miss her proper under garments before even putting this under suit on. Warmth was a luxury and with the growing flames consuming everything it touched she could not afford any luxuries.

The armor clipped into place the locks holding. With a painful yell Shepard forced the chest place to buckle on the left side. Her ribs screaming in agony at the force they were being placed under with such wounds. Lungs feeling as if on fire themselves, the Commander coughing loudly trying to keep her head below the smoke line began hitching the guns on the side and back clips.

What was only a few minutes seemed like hours as she turning, eyes burning and tearing with the thick chemical smoke, began crawling for the med lab's door. Her vision began to blur, fade, her lungs surging with pain, her ribs tearing at her innards. Shepard stumbled hard in the smoke as it began to plume downwards eating the remaining precious oxygen the lab was holding to the tile floor.

Shit… Shit, shit, shit…

Her mind was growing dim, vision failing rapidly as her knees and arms trembled to sustain her crawling weight. She was so close to the door… so…

"Shit!"

Her enraged voice filled the roaring room as her hand made contact with the cold metal, yet the console indicating motion sensors were operational was off. They had been disabled.

How?! Why?!

Panic rode Shepard's mind as she turning resting her back against the door watched with wide eyes at the dancing flames that crept closer. The heat was unbearable, sweat soaked her entire body making her armor itch, the smoke filling her lungs and conscious made everything dance and shimmer.

She knew her time was short and unless that door opened… a crooked smirked crossed her lips as she hung her head. Shepard knew she most likely would not get a third chance at living.

Garrus…

Of all things in her mind, the Reapers, the Collectors, the Council's arrogance… his memory made her heart sink as her eyes closed. Was this how he felt when he watched the Normandy fall?

"Shepard!"

The male's voice was so faint as Shepard's mind grew faint, loud yells erupted all around her, yet to the woman it was nothing but white noise as darkness swallowed her consciousness.

*

"Clear!"

Shepard's eyes flew wide open, blinding light filled her vision as panicked voices were all around, then; silent darkness swallowed her once more.

There were so many advancing from the depths of dark space…black insect looking mechanoids the size of small moons flew silently and with deadly purpose towards their set goal…

"Clear!"

The bright lights returned, her head was now pounding as the machines all around screamed alarms, voices were alarmed and speaking both rapid and chaotic… Darkness…

The smell of death was all around… the planet's surface littered with millions of dead corpses, none left alive. The air is putrid and filled with flying insects and animals feeding off of the diceased sentient creatures… not just humans, krogon, salarian, asari, volus, drell, hanar... turian as well as many more. High in the sky the Reaper faded into the clouds leaving the planet after its destruction was delivered.

"Clear!"

Shepard took in a painful mouthful of air, her lungs burning as the oxygen touched the damaged tissue within. The brilliant lights not hurting her vision as much, the voices stating to sound clearer, less chaotic… Her mind could not hold it as darkness once more swept over her.

Commander Shepard found herself looking right into the face of Sovereign… No; not that reaper, it was destroyed in the citadel. This was Harbinger. Standing on either side of his glowing form from the console were collectors.

"The light and life of your race will be extinguished."

His dark voice boomed over her, making her skin crawl and heart race as his image mutated into a human reaper with violent glowing red eyes.

"Clear!"

She did not want to go back! Throwing her head back Shepard parting her dry cracked and bleeding lips, screamed. She screamed as convulsions erupted on her limbs from the electricity running through her body. Leather bindings kept the Commander on the gurney as her body writhed.

"Shepard! She has a pulse, give me that oxygen now!"

She heard the woman's voice as a blurred form went above her pressing the soft plastic face piece over her panting mouth and nose, forcing the sweet cool air into her burning lungs. Her eyes blinking rapidly to remove the water from them, the woman tried to focus on the form to her left standing over her holding the oxygen mask. "Shepard, can you hear me?"

Chakwas…

Her lips parted but only a small chirp left her throat yet she heard the relieved sigh from the form above her. The white hair became clear, her grey eyes, and her face. Shepard blinking slowly gave a faint nod to the doctor whose tear bright eyes met her own with held back joy and worry.

"Commander…" Shepard felt the doctor's hand in her own, giving a tight squeeze, Chakwas releasing the woman's hand went over to her rack of injections, grabbing a few vials.

"You were out for two days and half the night, it is if you go off our human clock, two in the morning. You took in heavy smoke, the glazing wound on your arm was from a poisoned round but the infection has gone down and your fever broke a few hours ago. Mordin was the one who had found you unconscious. You have two broken ribs and a sever sprain on your left ankle but due to their proper treatment you met with another doctor who no doubt informed you of your injuries already." As she spoke, Doctor Chakwas injected three needles extracting the liquids from three small vials.

Shepard closing her eyes, took in a deep breath of pure oxygen into her lungs feeling the smoothness wash over her aching lungs. She tried to speak the doctor's name once more yet found her voice was gone, nothing but a faint rasp. Chakwas with a worried smile returned to Shepard's bedside with needles in hand. "Your voice is no doubt gone. For the two days you were out you… screamed." She spoke tapping Shepard's inner elbow before injecting the needles one after another.

Recalling her nightmares Shepard gave a bitter smile.

Can't imagine why…

She thought yet… her eyes suddenly going wide turned her gaze fully onto Chakwas, the fear in her eyes making the doctor watch her with new concern. Knowing her voice was gone, the Commander licking her dry bloody lips silently worded a single name to Chakwas.

Garrus.

The doctor's eyes widened slightly yet the surprise faded just as quickly from her face as it had appeared, replaced with the clinical doctor's look. "Commander he-"

No, no, please be it a nightmare…

Chakwas saw the tears brim her Commander's eyes as Shepard closing them felt the hot tears slip down her cheeks, she bit her bottom lip as her body shuddered from the held back sorrow. The pain in her heart hurt so much, she wanted to cry, to break down and be alone to weep for her lost friend.

The warm soft hand on the side of her face made her eyes pull open half way and looked at the doctor as she moved her hand to Shepard's right shoulder.

"Shepard… Vakarian is alive… but… his mentality is fractured. I do not know if he will ever be the same man you knew from before."

Alive… Alive!

Shepard began to struggle at her bindings, her eyes growing stronger making Chakwas understand her desire. With a sigh and doctor's head shake knowing her patient would not listen to reason and rest a bit more, the doctor began to work at Shepard's bindings.

Rising to her feet with the aid of Chakwas for support, Shepard tenderly took a few steps gaining back her balance and stability with her footing. Wearing nothing but loose black cotton slacks and a black cotton long sleeve, she knew Chakwas had gone into her person quarters, but the Commander's mind was fully else where uncaring the doctor had been in her room.

"Commander Shepard; Garrus Vakarian is in the observatory." EDI spoke over the com within the med lab. Shepard nodding her gratitude to the console looked at Chakwas who watched her still with concerned eyes.

"Be careful with him… Commander." Turning her gaze to over her shoulder, Shepard blinking looked past Chakwas and her blue eyes grew wide at the sight. There laid a gurney yet the mattress was in shreds from claws, the leather bindings stretched to near give from strength fighting their hold.

Garrus did that? Why?

Their eyes met and the doctor seemed to have read the woman's mind as she shaking her head went and sat down with a weary sigh at her desk. "Vakarian came in here right after the rescue party found him and Thane with Joker's mother who did survive. He saw the chunk of ceiling fall and believed it had crushed you. Since then his mentality is shattered, his memories fragmented and he seems unable to recognize people at times and at other times recall all lost memories. Whenever you were brought up he would get into a frenzy, like he had on that gurney when Mordin and I tended his wounds. His leg was saved before you go asking, but again."

Raw concern filled her eyes as she swiveling in her chair looked at Shepard. "Be careful with him. I do not know much on turian mentality and do not know what sort of advice I can give you to handling him."

Shepard had heard enough, nodding her thanks to the doctor, her sharp eyes hard, the Commander left the med ward and headed for the elevator through the mess hall which thankfully at this late hour not a soul was in sight. A for long glance to the door for the forward batteries made her gait even swifter to the elevator.

It felt weird the loose clothing on her form when she was so use to the Cerberus clothing and armor. She did not care about fashion though, not now. The elevator hissing opened hummed softly as the doors shutting began to take her down one level. Shepard tapped a foot impatiently while listening to… elevator music?

"EDI?" The Commander tried to ask her question but nothing came past her throat other then a few small noises, the console in the elevator flickered to life and EDI's orb formed. "My apologies Commander, it is not fully my doing. Vakarian requested to hear songs from your world; sad ones. For his strange request I assumed it was from his strange behavior." She spoke making Shepard stare at the door as it hissing open, the music was a touch louder.

Has the crew complained at all?

She thought eyeing the shut crewmen quarters to her left.

"No Commander; the doors are fortified upon the Normandy."

Was the AI's simple statement to accurately guessing her question.

She sighing bitterly annoyed of not being able to speak, looked over her shoulder and nodded to the glowing console before turning her back to it and stepping out of the elevator.

"Of course Commander Shepard, signing you out." Her orb blipped off as the elevator door shut behind Shepard who was already walking barefoot across the cold floor towards the observation room.

She stood right outside the door, her hand only a few inches from the flickering console to allow her passage. She heard the words of the old song and wondered how EDI ever found it.

'I know it's hard to tell, how mixed up you feel. Hoping what you need is behind every door. Each time you get hurt I don't want you to change Cuz everyone has hopes, you're human after all.'

"Garrus…"

Shepard whispered his name softly as she hung her head, fighting the sorrow consuming her heart; her knees felt weak as her heart bled.

'The feeling sometimes wishing you were someone else. Feeling as though you never belong. This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy. I truly understand, please don't cry now.'

The Commander could not stand it anymore, pressing her hand onto the console, the door hissing open exposed her fully to the song and high temperature as there were metal crates and containers thrown about all around, claw markings raking many of the metal surfaces as well as the observatory glass that exposed the stars outside.

'Please don't go. I want you to stay.'

"Garrus?"

'I'm begging you please; please don't leave here.'

Unable to do anything else but a whisper, her eyes scanning the wreckage all around saw to the far right corner tucked away with knees to his chest his wounded leg thickly bandaged while the Turian's face was buried in his claws.

'I don't want you to hate for the hurt that you feel.'

"Garrus…"

'The world is just an illusion, trying to change you.'

Taking a step forward the door hissed shut behind her yet Shepard uncaring of that or any other mess around her, kept her eyes on the fallen turian.

'Being like you are, well this is something else. Who would comprehend that some bad do lay claim divine purpose blesses them. That's not what I believe and it doesn't matter anyway.'

As the Commander stepped closer, her feet now feeling like they were burning from the floor heating systems, she saw the turian wore nothing but his lower citizen garments; his upper torso was exposed as were his feet.

The music faded to a soft hum in the background; silently thanking EDI her eyes did not leave Garrus's broken form.

"Don't! Please don't come any closer."

Shepard stopped, placing both feet on the ground looking at him. His voice was cracking, nearly gone like hers. Sadness touched her features as the Commander noticed how far he had fallen.

Why Garrus… why do this to yourself?

Her mind thought quietly as she saw his body was shivering. Eyes going wide she remembered the doctor's words.

"Vakarian came in here right after the rescue party found him and Thane with Joker's mother who did survive. He saw the chunk of ceiling fall and believed it had crushed you. Since then his mentality is shattered…"

"I- I can't remember- fracture- the- you… dead; dead…. Not again, please not again."

Shaking his head, the turian buried his face further in his claws digging his claws into his fringe. She couldn't watch this and do nothing.

Within a few quick strides Shepard kneeling before the turian ignoring the savage complaint her ankle gave her reached her hand out, her fingertips gently brushing his rough hide upon the side of his lower arm. His entire body flinched; his muscles tensed as the turian grew stiff, his harsh breathing stopped completely when she pulled her hand away.

No words spoken; slowly Shepard slid her hands onto the male's shoulders, the rough metallic like plating for his flesh feeling hot to the touch. His body began to shake as she gripping his shoulders; her blue eyes watched his concealed face, his claws twitching over his fringe, a few small scrapes appearing in the metallic hide.

With slow motion, Shepard closing her eyes halfway brought her forehead gently against his own between his claws. His plating was warm, rough on the edges yet smooth. As she closing her eyes, exhaled a gentle breath onto his face, the relief that ebbed the fears in her heart making the Commander suddenly feel very tired.

His entire body shook as Garrus took a shuddering breath, his shoulders expanding under her touch as he inhaled the air. Hot breath passing over the front of her simple cotton shirt, Shepard felt his claws slip away from his face, his shoulders moving, trembling as his arms extended outward.

She felt them brush her side then withdraw as if burned, the trembling increasing as his breath became sharp and fast. Shepard smiling ever so faintly slid her hands from his shoulders, refusing to let go as she wrapped her hands around his upper back, her fingers interlocking together pulling their bodies closer. Shifting her face from his forehead, Shepard pulled back ever so slightly, her eyes looking into wet silver blue eyes, his tears seemingly forever falling.

"She-"

His claws launched out digging into her back as he with a small cry pulled her to him. She felt the shirt material give, his claws embedding her flesh, the slip of warm blood down her spine made Shepard shudder as she fully wrapping her arms around him buried her face between his neck and right shoulder. Feeling the heat emitting from his flesh, hearing his thundering heart beat from within, the hot tears came swift. The turian flexed his claws as he engulfed her completely within his arms, new small wounds littered her back but Shepard did not care as she felt his mandibles flutter by her neck as he rested his chin on her left shoulder, the gentle hum arising from deep within his chest.

The pain for once felt good, her ribs ached horribly yet the sharp pain to her back felt like a wondrous reminder and made her know fully that this was no dream. That chunk of ceiling had not crushed her friend; he was here right now with her.

"I thought you… were dead."

She heard his weak voice crack and break, she heard his words filled with such pain; such loss. Tightening her grip, Shepard pressed her own feeble human nails up against the strong plating along his back. She couldn't speak; her voice was not there when she opened her lips and took the breath for the words she wanted to say.

It's alright… I am here.

I will never leave you.

The tears fell heavily as she shaking her head with eyes shut her shoulders shook as the silent sobs passed her lips.

A claw disengaging from her back; allowing the release of fresh blood, gently encased the back of her head as she wept. The soft hum reverberating from his chest grew stronger into a purr. Shepard's eyes still shedding tears flew open as she felt his sharp teeth dig into her flesh right where the shoulder and neck met. Yet he did nothing more then simply keep his mouth on her his teeth within her pale flesh. The crimson life slipped slowly down her skin disappearing into the dark fabric.

Closing her eyes once more, the tears ebbed as she simply allowed herself to be in the Turian's embrace, simply to feel his touch, hear his purr, his heartbeat. To know… Garrus was alive.

That was how they stayed for hours. Simply holding each other tightly, reminding both they were there and their own minds that the other was truly there.

That this moment was no dream, but reality.

*

A wee bit longer then that last chapters... So R&R tell me what you think!

*All right reserved to the proper owners; Bioware' of Mass Effect and the song Illusion by VNV Nation.