The Ravenclaw common room is pretty intense, let me tell ya. It's wide and circular with deep blue carpet and a domed, star-spangled ceiling. It has these enormous arched windows with curtains made of blue and bronze silks, and has a great view of the mountains. I can tell we are veerrry high up. There are tables and bookshelves everywhere, a sure sign of smarty-ness. And then there's the statue, this massive lady made of white marble.
The thing that most catches my eye, though, is the silver plush armchair in the corner. It looks just like a cloud, floating there above the floor.
Giranimmmooooo! I take a running start and throw myself towards the chair, prepared for luxurious softness. Instead, I meet Mr. Very Hard Floor.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you…the chair is cursed. They've tried to remove it, but every time they try—"
I am suddenly pulled upside-down by my ankles.
"-That happens. That chair has been there for centuries; the person to uncharm it wins a prize. Automatic O in Charms, a crapload of bonus points for your House, and of course your name will go down in history, forever remembered as 'the person who uncharmed that annoying cloud chair thingy.' Nobody has ever been able to uncharm it; the only person who has the ability to would be Flitwick, and he just laughs at you if you ask him." Hattie explains all this calmly.
"That's a great story, it really is. A little help now?" I'm hanging upside-down, all the blood rushing to my face, pounding in my head.
"It only lets you down if you tickle it in this certain spot. It's right by your left ear…yes, right there should do it…"
I prod the chair violently with my wand, and the blasted thing lets off a streak of lightning, dropping me on my head in the process. I hurry away from the angry, storming chair, gingerly fingering a singed piece of hair.
"'Dear diary: today a chair tried to kill me. It was a traumatizing experience for us both.'" I pretend to write in a book on one of the shelves, sitting as far away from the chair as possible.
"First the hat, now the chair…whomever will you get into a brawl with next?" Jimmy asks, sounding sarcastically curious.
"Oh hello there Jimmy. I didn't see you there behind that huge cloud of KILLJOY looming over your head." I grin at him so he knows I'm kidding.
"You are the ray of sunshine my existence has been craving." Jimmy replies seriously.
"And you are…um…" but before I can come up with a response, Hattie interrupts.
"Stop flirting you two! It's sickening. First you'll be mates, then—"
"MATES? Hell, no!" I say. There's an awkward pause. "Is this one of those times where I mistook a British word for an American one?" I ask.
"I don't know. What does 'mate' mean in the U.S.?" Hattie asks.
"Uhh…well, when a boy and a girl love each other verrrry much, they…uh… mate."
"What do you mean?"
"They…uhhh…do the do. You know." Both Jimmy and Hattie crack up laughing.
"Whhhaat?" I whine.
"You should s-see your face! It's b-bright red! Oh come on Max, you know we were only kidding about not knowing what 'mate' means in the U.S. How stupid do you think we are?! Wait, wait…don't tell us, how does your lot say fringe? You know, the hair part that goes all over your forehead. How do you say it?"
"Bang. Hardyharhar. Very clever."
They think this is just hi-larious.
"Now if we're done laughing at 'bang' and 'mate,' I wouldn't mind seeing my room," I say pointedly. Hattie nods, still grinning, and we head on upstairs.
The first thing I notice upon entering the room is the ceiling. It's like the one in the common room, only even fancier. It has huge golden beams stretching skyward, and is painted a deep midnight blue, with swirls of bronze and lighter blue intermixed. There are five beds, all with heavy bronze frames and soft, velvety blue covers. The walls of the room are painted an impossibly shiny pearly white, and are decorated with many famous portraits and even older newspaper clippings and framed articles.
There are already two other girls in the room; one is tiny, with stick straight raven-black hair that comes down to her lower back; the other has extremely wild, tawny hair.
"Hello." I say politely. The black-haired girl turns to look at me; she offers a small, tight smile.
"You're Maxine. James's girlfriend."
Okkkkay…
"Umm…who told you that?"
"Everybody's talking about it." She assures me. "My name is Brigit, by the way, Brigit Andrews." She extends a slender, manicured hand; I shake it grudgingly.
"And you are?" I ask the curly-haired girl. She blushes prettily, and whispers something I can't quite hear. "What? Did you say 'Jam Bleacher'?" I ask.
"Her name is Amber Friedmann; she's an orphan, is seventh in every class, has never had a boyfriend, and lives with her Aunt, Uncle, and seven cousins in Dorset." Brigit says matter-of-factly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "And her middle name is—"
"Don't you dare, Bee, DON'T YOU DARE!" Amber screeches, suddenly coming alive.
"Oh, fine, if you insist. Honestly, though, it isn't so bad; not as bad as mine, anyway…"
"What do you mean, not as bad as yours? Your middle name is Lyn!"
"Exactly, It's just so boring. If only it could be something exotic, like Esmerelda, or Cecilia!" She sighs, looking wistfully off into space.
"Well, this has been a very fascinating conversation," I lie dully. I go over to the bed with my stuff by it, and sit down; it's like sitting on a cloud! And, BONUS! it doesn't try to electrocute me and hang me by the ankle when I sit on it. Good deal!
Hattie takes the bed next to me, rolling her eyes, and whispers, "Brigit has always been like this. Honestly, she should have been put in Hufflepuff!" We giggle, then stop laughing when Brigit looks over at us suspiciously.
"So, who's our fourth roomie?" I ask Hattie.
"Well, I'm guessing it's Manda Craybill. She's nice; I've only ever heard her say two or three words at a time, though. She's way into her studies."
"Oh. That kind of person," I gag, disgusted. Hattie laughs. "So, wanna go back down and hang with Jimmy again, or what?"
"Sure, but let's get changed first."
"Why?"
"Okay, don't tell, but—"
"She has a crush on Ethan Sanders!" Brigit blurts out. How did she even hear our conversation?
"Ethan…isn't he in Gryffindor, though?"
"Yeah…" Hattie says dreamily. "He's so…mmm…"
"Okay, you're scaring me now!" I say.
"Sorry," She says, snapping out of her trance. "But I need to put on make-up and shorten my hemline if I ever want to catch his attention."
"Fiiiine, I'll wait. But hurry up."
"Why don't you primp too?"
"I already have a boyfriend, remember?" I say. "But you're right; why not?" And together we proceed, with some help from Brigit, to glam up. By the time we're done we are sexy beasts.
"I am a sexy beast," I comment. "And so are you."
She nods in agreement.
"Puh-leaze, you two are far from sexy." Brigit says, flicking her hair back. She takes out her wand and flicks it at the pair of us; our skirts shrink so much I screech, thinking she's vanished them. "There. That's better."
"I am not comfortable with this!" I say, as Hattie drags me down the steps and back into the common room. I try tugging the skirt down, but it's useless.
"I hate you." I hiss in Hattie's ear. She just smirks.
"Don't blame me, blame Bee!" She says cheerfully. Grrrr.
Jimmy isn't in the common room when we go down; I take a deep breath, and divulge some very top-secret information to Hattie.
"Don't freak out, please, but I can get us into the Gryffindor common room." I say quietly. She screams in delight, jumping up and down. "For the love of all that is holy, stop jumping! Your skirt is in danger of disappearing completely." She stops suddenly, looking embarrassed, and fixes the skirt. "Come on. Let's go." And off we head, to find the Gryffindor common room!
"I know where it is!" Hattie says happily. "I went there to…umm…"
"Stalk Ethan?" I guess. She turns bright red, and doesn't say anything. "I'll take that as a yes."
"I wasn't stalking him, per say…"
"Yeah, yeah. Sell it to someone who's buying."
We reach a portrait of an enormously fat old woman sitting on a stone bench, with about ten pounds of make-up on. Hattie stops and looks at it.
"Um, Hattie, as fascinating as old pictures of fat old women well past their prime are to look at—"
"I BEG YOUR PARDON?" The fat lady booms.
"I BEG YOUR PARDON?" I yell back.
"Get back to your own House, you insolent girl!"
"YOU GET BACK TO—"
Hattie interrupts me, looking apologetically at the angry portrait.
"I'm sorry, Fat Lady, only we need into the common room."
"Absolutely not!"
"WHAT?" Now Hattie is the one looking upset.
"Is there something the matter here?" I hear a voice behind us. I turn; it's Sirius, looking creepily smug about something.
"We need in." I say coolly. He grins.
"What's the magic word?"
"PLEASE."
"Nope!" He says happily. I glare at him. "Try again! It starts with the letter 'k' and has and 'i' in it."
"Kiln. Kip. Knit. Kindle. King. Kill. Killjoy. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill."
"I'm sensing a pattern here," Sirius says thoughtfully.
"It's 'kiss'." Hattie says slowly. "The word is 'kiss'."
"Forget it, there is no way in HELL that I am EVER kissing you!" I say to Sirius, repulsed by the notion. "Now tell us the password and let us through!"
"Fine, fine. Nice skirts, by the way."
I shoot first him, then Hattie, the Death Glare.
"Amortenia." Sirius says to the Fat Lady. Scowling, she opens up, revealing a very large, very cozy-looking room furnished with rich reds and royal golds, and filled with Gryffindors, laughing and hugging, glad to be back at school after the summer break.
I follow Sirius inside, and immediately scope the room for James or Ben. I spot the latter over with a group of sporty-looking boys, including the one and only Ethan Sanders.
"Come on!" I drag a suddenly shy Hattie over to the jocks; then I let go of her hand, and jump on my brother, wrapping my arms around him in a strangling hug and clinging on for dear life.
"What the—" Ben tries to detangled himself from me. "What are you doing in here, Max?"
"Just saying hi! This is Hattie, by the way." I turn towards Hattie, and freeze. She has the classic 'holy fuck, I'm in love' face on, and you'll never guess who she's staring at. ME. Well, that's what I think at first; then I realize she's actually staring at Ben (thank god).
"Hattie thinks Ethan here is quite the catch!" I stage whisper so that everyone can hear. "Don't you, Hattie."
"Wha—I mean, sure, right…I haven't met your brother yet, Max, care to introduce us?"
"Hattie, Ben. Ben, Hattie. Erm…I'm going to go and look for James." I hightail it on out of there. Phew!
"Looking for someone?" A familiar voice says in my ear.
"Sirius." I growl, turning to face him.
"James is over there, with Lily." Sirius says smugly, pointing to the two. They're sitting side by side, having what appears to be a deep and meaningful conversation in front of the fire. I suddenly feel really, really sick.
"So they're…friends, now?"
"Guess so." Sirius shrugs.
"I can't…" I feel like I just missed a step going downstairs. Calm down, I tell myself. They're just talking, probably arguing. "I have to get out of here." I push through the crowd of people, trying to find the Fat Lady again; finally I find her, push the opening forwards, and climb through. My breathing is a little ragged, my lungs straining as I fight to hold back tears. I know its irrational, and really, really stupid. I mean, I was the one helping James win Lily back! But I guess I just didn't expect it to work so soon.
Crap, my lungs really hurt now. I don't think I'm having an attack; those usually come really strong, but it's getting uncomfortable. I clutch my chest, trying to slow my breathing. The portrait hole opens, and out come the couple of the night, James and Lily. They're laughing about something; then James spots me.
"Max!" he races to my side, looking genuinely concerned. "What's wrong? Is it your chest?"
"I'm fine!" I rasp, pulling away from him. "It's nothing." I know it should make me feel good that James is worried about me, but instead it just makes me feel like I'm being lied to, or cheated. He doesn't really care; I was just a pawn to get to Lily. And I always knew that. So why the hell am I so upset?
"Do you have your inhaler?" James asks quietly, so that Lily can't hear.
"It's in my room. But don't bother, I'll be…fine." My chest feels like its burning from the inside.
"O-Okay, if you're sure…"
He doesn't come after me when I leave. Before I'm out of earshot, I hear Lily say, "Is everything alright, James?"
James.
James.
