Author's note: Finally finished this after re-writing it several times. Hopefully this revision is okay because I don't think I can scrap another 20 pages.


Chapter 9: Battle lines drawn

The conversation in the kitchen had lapsed into silence once Mariel had poured Russell and herself a cup of coffee. It wasn't an awkward silence, but rather an affable pause in the conversation. Although Mariel and Russell no longer worked out as a married couple, they had discovered that they made pretty good friends. There was no obligation to keep on talking, and no reason to feel uncomfortable when they stopped.

"What are we going to do about the living arrangements?" Mariel pondered, leaning her elbows onto the table and resting her chin on her hands. "And the kids."

"You didn't make any special requests in the divorce papers?"

"I didn't marry Tom for his money. I earn a lot more than he does. And he bought that house with the insurance money from his first wife's life insurance payout. So, no, I didn't include anything about the house or his savings. The only things of monetary value that I mentioned were the car, my jewelry, and my own assets. As for the kids, aside from Kira, that's still between you and me."

"I don't want anyone living in that house anymore," Russell finally said. "I was attacked outside it, and both Tom and Larkin were shot in it. And then yesterday, Tom was attacked outside it again. It's a magnet for criminals. If you're not going to live in it, I'm going to convince Tom to sell it."

"And have him move in here?"

"I haven't decided yet…"

"You really love him, don't you?" Mariel smiled at her ex-husband, thinking that all the extra effort he was making for Tom was really sweet.

"More than anything, Mariel. I'm sorry that it didn't work out between the two of you, but I'm grateful that you've decided to let him go."

"He's where he belongs now. And maybe sometime in the future, I can figure out where I belong." Mariel sighed and poked at her uneaten pancakes. "Do you ever wonder how things would have been different if you had just taken Tom to the crash site when he'd asked you?"

"More often than I want to think of. I think back then that every time I came to the hospital looking for you, I spent more time looking at him. I didn't even realize that I was doing it half the time." Russell laughed as he remembered the fight that he'd had with Mariel in the hospital one day during Tom's extended stay there. "I caught him watching me from his hospital room with these sad eyes after you walked away from one of our public quarrels. Like he blamed himself for being the cause of it. And all I could think about doing was kissing him and telling him to get over himself."

"You're terrible," Mariel laughed. "You spent that much time analyzing him while we were still married?"

"Hey! I wasn't the one who went off with him… although I can kind of see why you did."

"So… uh… have you ever…?" Mariel awkwardly tried to think of some way to phrase her nosy question. "When we were married, you never mentioned anything about… other men."

"Come on, Mariel! What man tells the woman that he's married to that he fooled around with other guys while he was in school?"

"So, that's a yes?"

"Yes. And no offense, but I'm so glad I'm not married to you anymore. You ask the most prying questions."

"Do you think Tom…?"

Russell rolled his eyes at Mariel and tried to keep a straight face. "No. I doubt it. But I haven't asked… yet."

"I accused him of it, you know. That one time you came over to the house after Tom had shot one of your coworkers in self-defense."

"You accused Tom of having an affair with me?!" That was something that he'd never heard before.

"Not in those exact words, but yes. He was spending more time hanging out with you than his own family. Looking back, it all makes sense now."

"Well, we're kind of having an affair now if you think about it. Neither of us is divorced yet…"

"I doubt that little technicality got in your way last night," Mariel innocently teased.

"Mariel!"

"I'm just saying. You could have slept on the sofa and let Tom have the bed."

Russell brought the coffee mug up to his lips again, signaling that the conversation was over. He was about to take a sip, when he was struck with the most intense headache he had ever had in his life. He dropped the coffee mug back onto the table, spilling coffee everywhere and held his head with his hands. He gritted his teeth and groaned, feeling like a tidal wave had just erupted in his head.

"Russell! What is it? What's wrong?"

The pain continued to increase, causing him to press his palms desperately to his temples, as if he were trying to contain it. And at the bottom of the pain, he felt it. Betrayal and heartbreak. Tom? What the hell was going on? Why would Tom be feeling betrayal and heartbreak? A little over an hour ago, Russell had left the contented hybrid in his bed, and at that time he had felt nothing but love and warmth emanating from him. What had happened to change that?

"Russell?!" Mariel pushed away from the table, coming to Russell's side.

Another searing bolt of pain lanced through Russell's head, and immediately afterwards his connection to Tom began to weaken. Tom was trying to destroy their bond! Russell got up from his chair, staggered as the pain hit him again, and rushed for the stairs. As he frantically struggled to prevent Tom from tearing apart the miraculous gift that joined them together, Russell felt something else. Something dark that was buried deeper than the feelings of betrayal and heartbreak. When he tried to analyze it, he found himself unable to breathe.

"TOM!" Russell shouted, blindly flying up the stairs. He looked up, trying to see where he was going, and his heart stopped. He had a mere split second to react, to throw himself forward in order to catch Tom in his arms to prevent the hybrid from toppling down the stairs headfirst. His forward momentum sent him crashing onto the stairs on his knees, and then onto his arms. Despite the agony that was now assaulting his head and his body, he protected Tom from the fall, choosing to brutalize the backs of his hands instead of letting Tom hit his head on the stairs. "Tom! Are you okay?!" Russell asked hysterically as he pushed away from the stairs, one hand still cradling Tom's head.

"Are all hybrids suicidal, or is it just Tom?"

Russell looked up to see Larkin standing at the top of the stairs, a look of amusement on her face.

"Larkin! What happened?!" Russell demanded to know, painfully repositioning himself so that he was sitting on the one step with his back against the wall, holding Tom in his arms. When he looked into the hybrid's beautiful face, he was shocked to see the devastation there. His eyes were tightly shut, tears streaming down his cheeks, and he was openly sobbing. "Tom?" The magnitude of pain and sorrow that Tom was feeling was enough to knock Russell backwards.

The noise from Russell falling onto the stairs, combined with his grievous shouting succeeded in waking everyone in the house. Jesse, Kira, and Rose appeared at the top of the stairs, behind Larkin, and Dave rushed into the house through the front door to join Mariel at the bottom of the stairs. Before anyone could get too close, Russell pushed the hybrid's face against his shoulder, concealing the fact that Tom was crying. If Tom had been in control, which he most certainly wasn't right now, he wouldn't have wanted anyone to see him in this condition.

"What happened?" Larkin repeated. "I should think that's obvious. Tom was feeling kind of depressed after he discovered how he means nothing to you. He said that he wanted to die, and I encouraged him to kill himself because then he wouldn't be a burden to anyone anymore."

"Are you sick in the head?!" Russell barely got out, shaking with rage.

"You're crazy!" Kira screamed at Larkin, tearfully looking down at Russell and her father. "My dad is not suicidal!"

"Oh honey," Larkin said in a mockingly gentle voice. "You know nothing about your father."

"Shut up!" Russell preemptively yelled, hoping to save Tom's relationship with his daughter.

"Did you know that he spent the night in Russell's arms? It was so sweet… until poor Tom discovered that Russell had just used him to scratch an itch. He just couldn't take it."

"You're lying!" Kira spat at Larkin, allowing the female hybrid to provoke her.

"Open your eyes, you stupid little girl," Larkin said coldly. "Your father is Russell's bitch and everyone but you knows it."

"Stop trying to imply that I used him!" Russell scornfully looked up to where Jesse was holding Rose back, then to a furious Kira who was trying to get past Larkin to check on Tom, and then finally to Larkin herself. When he saw the blood that her fingers were covered with, he shouted at Kira in a panic. "Stay away from her! Get back into your rooms and lock the doors!"

"Dad!" Kira cried out, not being able to sense the danger that Larkin posed.

"Jesse! Take Kira and Rose. Now!"

"Come on, Russell. Why would I hurt the children?" Larkin laughed. "Weren't you always afraid that Tom would hurt the children? Because Tom is a hybrid and all hybrids are monsters?"

Was that what had broken Tom? Larkin's psychotic ramblings? "You're the monster for hurting Tom!" Russell shouted venomously at her. "I don't know what you are now, but you aren't anything to me! You're sick and depraved!"

"I didn't make Tom throw himself down the stairs," Larkin said with a smile. "How could I? A small woman like me overpowering a strong sheriff like Tom?"

Where had the blood on Larkin's fingers come from? Russell pushed his fingers into Tom's hair, feeling for any wounds. He moved onto Tom's neck and arms as Larkin began to walk towards them, one step at a time. His eyes never left her, watching her every move like a hawk as his fingers skimmed over Tom's wrists… and came away coated with blood. He glanced down in horror to see the vicious nail marks lining the hybrid's thin wrists, and the trail of blood that continued to flow out of them. There was no way that Tom had done that to himself.

"Mariel! I need help! Get the First Aid Kit!"

"Russell! Look out!" Mariel screamed.

Russell couldn't raise his arms to defend himself when Larkin slammed him back into the wall by his throat, the back of his head whacking into solid wood. He kept his arms tightly around Tom, pushing the hybrid's face into his chest to protect him from Larkin, helpless to prevent her from slashing her nails across the right side of his face. Everything went black for a second, only returning to normal when Larkin came in for round two. He could feel Tom trembling against him, on some level aware of what was happening and terrified of Larkin. And at the top of the stairs, Kira was back, struggling against Jesse and screaming for Larkin to leave her father alone.

The second time around, Larkin wasn't aiming for Russell. Her blood clotted nails were targeting Tom, going for the opening below Russell's hand at the base of Tom's skull. Despite her unassuming size, her strength was phenomenal. The original Larkin never would have been able to hurt Russell, intentionally or otherwise. This new Larkin was a completely different story. Russell reacted without thinking, kicking Larkin's legs out from under her, and watched her fall down a couple of steps, only to get back up again as if she had merely slipped.

"Larkin! What are you doing?!" Dave, who had been lingering next to Mariel, pushed the blonde doctor behind him and tried to distract Larkin from ripping Russell's face off when she picked herself up again. "The Larkin I know would never hurt a fly… and here you are throwing people down the stairs and going all cat-woman on your husband." He backed up as the person whom he had formerly known as his sister calmly walked down the rest of the stairs.

At the bottom of the stairs, Larkin casually gave Dave some advice as she walked past him. "You should get yourself down to the water, Dave. Sooner rather than later. It might be able to do something about your multiple deficiencies. But then again, you might just end up being the first specimen that gets rejected on principle alone."

As Larkin strolled towards the front door, Mariel glared at Dave. "Are you just going to let her walk out of here?! After what she did to Tom and Russell?!"

"What can I do?" Dave asked nervously. "She has some kind of super power."

At the doorway, Larkin turned around and glared evilly at Mariel. "Why don't you stop hiding behind the men in your life and do something by yourself for a change, Mariel. If you want me, come and get me." When Mariel didn't budge, Larkin snickered. "That's what I thought. Spineless women like you are what's wrong with this world." She pushed open the front door and took her time getting Russell's jeep started, slowly backing out of the gravelly parking area and disappearing up the dirt path that led to the highway.

"Mariel!" Russell shouted furiously when his ex-wife just stood there looking cowed. "Get the First Aid Kit!" He had both hands clamped down on Tom's wrists, trying to stop the bleeding. He was unconcerned about his own injuries, but going out of his mind over his lover's fractured emotional state and the hot blood that felt sticky against his palms. When Kira tried to race for the stairs, Jesse held her back, obeying the look his father gave him. "Honey, please stay up there," Russell pleaded with Tom's daughter. "We're going to help your father. I promise."

As soon as Mariel crouched down over Tom on the stairs, she hastily opened the First Aid Kit, and began to pull out rubbing alcohol, gauze, bandages, and everything she would need to suture the wound. "Okay, let go of his right wrist first," she instructed Russell. She quickly cleaned and irrigated the wound with a syringe filled with a saline solution, trying to see how deep the nail marks went. "Russell, hold him still," she ordered when Tom flinched and tried to pull his arm away. "She missed the main artery but the cuts are deep, he's going to need stitches." She couldn't even begin to fathom the level of violent behavior Larkin was capable of if she had been trying to slit Tom's wrists with her nails.

"Give him a local anesthetic first," Russell said firmly, feeling the hybrid tense up at the pain. Then, he spoke gently to Tom. "It's okay, Tom. Mariel's going to fix you up. Just keep breathing." The second Mariel slid the needle into the flesh of Tom's wrist, injecting him with a 1% solution of lidocaine, the hybrid moaned in agony. Russell felt himself cringe at Tom's discomfort and just held on tighter. "I'm here, Tom. I'm not leaving you."

"Let me see his left wrist."

Russell continued to hold Tom steady as Mariel repeated the same procedure on his left wrist. "It'll be over soon," he whispered into the hybrid's ear. "Stay with me, Tom."

"This one isn't as bad. Russell, you bandage up his left wrist. I'll take care of his right one."

Without hesitating, Russell picked up a clean bandage and pressed it gently, but firmly, against Tom's wounded wrist. He kept up the pressure, checking occasionally to see if the bleeding had stopped, while Mariel set to work suturing the bloody gash that Larkin had left behind. At one point, Tom gazed up at him, his tear-filled blue eyes tormented, reflecting his fragile emotional state. Russell caressed the hybrid's face with his free hand and leaned in close to him so that no one would hear what he whispered. "You know that I love you. What we have is not a lie."

Mariel finished stitching Tom's wrist with precision and finesse, moving onto bandaging up the wound.

After a moment, Russell checked Tom's other wrist to see that the bleeding looked to be under control. He applied an antibiotic over the wound and then began to mirror Mariel's bandaging job. As a park ranger, he was confident in his emergency medical training, especially since he regularly took optional courses to ensure that his knowledge and skills were up-to-date. In a small town like Homestead that was regularly hit with hurricanes, Russell felt that basic First Aid training was something everybody should familiarize themselves with. But just because he was competent with bandages didn't mean that he was capable of shutting himself off while he performed actions that were basically muscle memory. He hated to see Tom injured – yet again – his mind delicately balanced on a very steep precipice. It made him feel sick inside to know that it had been his wife – changed or not – who had hurt Tom like this. Larkin had toyed with Tom's emotions and preyed on his insecurities, breaking him with little effort. And then she had just spirited herself away, leaving Russell to pick up the pieces.

During the bandaging, Russell sensed that Tom had either lost the energy to fight the bond or was unconscious because his headache ceased.

"Russell, your face…" Mariel moved in closer, trying to clean the bloody nail marks that looked like a cat with five fingers had clawed Russell's cheek open.

"Not now, Mariel." Russell slid both arms under Tom, lifting him about the back and under his knees. He hoisted the slim hybrid into his arms and carefully carried him up the stairs. It felt like he was leading a circus when all three children, Mariel, and Dave followed him into the master bedroom. He lay Tom down on the bed, took his pulse and then checked his heart rate. He gave Mariel a troubled look, trying to communicate to her without words that Tom's vital signs were abnormally low. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kira watching the way he touched her father and felt how uncomfortable it was making her feel.

"I couldn't find any other injuries," Mariel answered Russell's unspoken question.

"His injuries aren't just physical," Russell said to no one in particular, earning himself a bewildered look from Dave.

Tom's eyes were closed, so he was either unconscious or shutting himself off from his family. That concerned Russell more than the injuries that had already been taken care of. He was already well aware that Tom was a very sensitive individual who was easily affected by what others thought of him. Although Tom usually hid it well, the overflow was bleeding through into anxiety attacks and an emotional instability that Larkin had just exploited. And then there was the darkness inside Tom that Larkin had awakened. A single thought in the far recesses of Tom's mind, small and seemingly harmless. But it was that one thought that had Russell's untrained mind fighting to subdue Tom's through the bond. He was doing his best to prevent Tom from acting on that dangerous urge that Larkin had implanted in his subconscious, but in the process he was mentally taxing them both. He couldn't ask Mariel for help because psychic connections weren't her realm of expertise. And besides, he wasn't sure if this was something he was supposed to be discussing with anyone but Tom.

"Can I hug Daddy-Tom?" Rose asked timidly, hovering near the bed.

"Sure, honey. Go ahead. Just stay away from the bandages." Russell lifted Rose up and put her down beside Tom. She stared at Tom for a moment before hugging him, her expression much too somber for that of a six-year old child. While her arms were around Tom, her gaze was studying Russell's face, no doubt disturbed by the bloody calling card that Larkin had left behind. But he had no time to spare for explaining things to her or for letting Mariel tend to his face just yet. "Dave, I need to know where you stand with Larkin." He continued to put off the completely unsubtle looks that Kira was giving him in favor of putting his soon-to-be ex-brother-in-law on the spot.

"I don't know what you're asking, man…"

"Are you still going to support this new Larkin in her vendetta against Tom and myself, or are you going to help me protect my family against this lunatic of a hybrid?"

Dave solemnly shook his head. "I was pissed last night because I thought I was protecting my sister. I got wasted and maybe egged her on more than I should've… But I never wanted anyone to get hurt. My sister never would've hurt anyone and then cackled like an evil witch about it. I'll help you, man, but just don't make me fight her or anything like that. She's still got my sister's face."

"Russell, can I talk to you?" Kira blurted out, getting sick of Russell ignoring her pointed looks.

"In a minute, honey. Jesse, you know that cabin that Tom took you guys to?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Do you think you could find it again?"

"Sure, no problem. It's about ninety minutes north of here. Are you thinking of hiding out there or something? You'll probably need to ask Tom's developer friend for permission first."

Russell laughed humorlessly at his son's suggestion. "Weren't you the one who originally suspected Tom of lying about who that cabin belonged to? I don't know what Tom's motives were for deceiving everyone, but I guarantee you that that cabin belongs to him. So no one is going to have a problem with us just showing up there and occupying the place for a few days."

"What is this town going to do without a sheriff and a chief medical officer for a few days?" Mariel challenged Russell. "We can't just up and disappear whenever we feel like it, Russell."

"In case you haven't noticed, the sheriff is incapacitated with two slit wrists, an injured leg, and a head injury. Larkin wanted Tom dead. That's one thing that she has in common with the three men who attacked Tom yesterday. I can't force you to leave, Mariel, but I'm not risking Tom's safety, or that of our children, by remaining here a moment longer. Larkin could come back at any time, and the next time she might not come alone. We can't stay here while Tom is incapable of defending himself. And if we leave, there will be no one here to look out for you."

"I appreciate your concern, Russell, but I can't just leave my patients to fend for themselves. There are still so many injured or displaced people who need to be taken care of." Before Russell could argue, Mariel alleviated his fears. "I'm not your responsibility anymore, Tom is. But I agree that the children would be safer elsewhere until this calms down. So, why don't you take Dave and the kids up to Tom's cabin and stay there a while. Just until Tom recovers. We can figure out the rest after that."

"What about Lewis?" Kira broke in, not wanting to be separated from her new boyfriend.

"Kira, your father needs you more than Lewis does right now," Russell said unsympathetically. What was it with teenagers and lovesickness? One or two weeks really wasn't going to make that much of a difference. But now Russell was beginning to see why Tom felt so detached from his daughter. Kira's first priority was Kira, not her father or anyone else. Well, that was going to change real soon. Russell would make sure of that. "You're coming and that's final. And as a precaution, I don't want anyone to know where we're going. Not even Lewis. He's ex-military, so he'll understand why."

"Uh… do I get a say in whether I go or not?"

"You're a grown man, Dave. If you don't want to come, just say so," Russell muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"It's not that. It's just that, if Mariel is staying maybe I should also stay to… you know… protect her."

Russell raised an eyebrow at that and Mariel smirked, flattered that Dave had actually thought about her wellbeing. "That's a good idea. Stay with Mariel then. We'll contact you as soon as we reach the cabin."

"Russell… about the blood that you're dripping all over the floor…," Mariel pointed out casually.

The adrenaline rush had temporarily blotted the injury and the pain from Russell's mind. Being reminded about it also made him feel the bruises on his knees, shins, arms, and the backs of his hands. And he was pretty sure that he had a good bump on the back of the head, too. "Okay. Do it quickly though. Jesse, get the range rover ready to go. Make sure the gas tank is full. Kira, go help Rose pack her stuff. We'll stop by your house to pick up some more stuff before we hit the highway."

"Daddy?" Rose said timidly when Mariel had finished patching Russell up.

"What is it, honey?" Russell asked distractedly.

"Daddy-Tom has a fever."

Russell looked down at Tom, not needing to touch him to know that he was beginning to burn up, just like he had two nights ago.

"Russell, how did you get his fever to go down the first time?" Mariel asked curiously. "And do you know what caused it?"

Of course he knew what had caused it. But he didn't have the luxury of time to explain it to Mariel. Russell felt overwhelmed again by the desperate urge to touch Tom, like he had two nights before. But this time he understand perfectly well the reason for it. His lover had slipped into a complicated state of depression, this time more severe than the last had been. Whatever Larkin had said or done to Tom was responsible for the despair and heartbreak that was destroying him from the inside out. Russell reached down to gently caress Tom's face, allowing the sickening heat to radiate through his palm and into his fingers. "Can everyone just give us some privacy for the next half hour or so?"

"Dude, this is not the time for a roll in the hay," Dave said indelicately. "You just said that you needed to hurry."

"Don't talk trash in front of my kids," Russell warned angrily. "If I can't get Tom's fever to go down, we're not going to be able to go anywhere."

Thankfully Mariel trusted Russell enough that she didn't question his methods or his motives. "Okay, everyone out. Go get ready like Russell told you to."

No sooner had Mariel cleared the room of all its occupants than Russell was stripping down to his boxer-briefs and climbing into bed with Tom. Without any hesitation, he pulled the extremely hot hybrid into a loving embrace and began to kiss him. He kissed his nose, the freckles on his cheeks, his closed eyelids, and finally his lips. "Whatever Larkin said to you was a lie," he said vehemently, stroking Tom's now sweat-soaked hair. "I love you, Tom. And I need you to be okay." He felt Tom begin to respond to him, his abused body and mind instinctively relaxing in Russell's care. Direct physical contact appeared to intensify the bond, conveying the truth of his words to Tom, as well as the strength of his love for the hybrid. But even as Tom's fever began to drop as he slowly regained consciousness, Russell could still feel the darkness inside the hybrid. A cold, lonely, broken darkness that dwelled on a single thought. "Stop thinking that!" Russell said angrily, frustrated that he couldn't overpower that thought into submission. "You're stronger than that, Tom."

"She said you enjoyed hitting me," Tom said brokenly as he gradually became cognizant, his voice terribly weak from the blood loss and trauma that Larkin had put him through.

"What? I enjoyed hitting you?!" Russell nearly lost his temper, but not at Tom. No wonder Tom's mind was so screwed up. Larkin had really gone to town on him, especially to have implied that he was physically abusive. "Are you talking about that night I came to your house to give you hell over that gun you let Jesse have?" That was the one and only time that he had ever hit Tom. "That bitch!" Forcing himself to remain calm so that Tom wouldn't think that the anger was directed at him, Russell gave the hybrid his version of events that night. "After I hit you, and you walked away looking so confused and lost, I felt like an asshole, Tom. I realized that you were telling the truth about Szura and you hadn't given Jesse that gun to challenge my authority. So, I got back in my car and tried to find you. I didn't want you walking around in the dark in your pajamas. I was worried sick when I couldn't find you. When I went home, I told Larkin what I had done and asked her if I should call your house to see if you were okay. She said that you wouldn't want to talk to me, so I waited and called Mariel in the morning to see if you'd made it back okay. I didn't sleep at all that night."

"You kissed Mariel behind my back!"

"Once," Russell blurted out. "And she kissed me first, which doesn't make it right, but we were both under a lot of stress. It meant nothing. If you would just talk to Mariel, you'd know that she wants us to be together. She has absolutely no interest in me, and I have no interest in her."

"All I am to you is a conquest," Tom accused, trying to push away from Russell. "You never wanted me. You only wanted power over me."

"Are you serious?" Russell watched his lover struggling against him, his slim body wracked by tearful sobs. "God, Tom, that woman is evil. Can't you see that? I would never do anything to hurt you or to break your trust. And I sure as hell wouldn't sleep with you so that I could control or conquer you." Russell held onto Tom tightly, trying to calm him. "Your wrists are badly injured. You have to stop moving around." Gradually, Tom lost the strength to fight, breathing harshly and obviously in pain. Russell was about to get up to find him a painkiller when he noticed where Tom's gaze had rested. He followed Tom's line of sight to the wooden chair by the bed where the hybrid had left his damaged sheriff's uniform. Slung over the back of the chair was Tom's utility belt, and carefully holstered inside it was the sheriff's service pistol. Tom's tormented blue eyes were locked onto the gun, staring at it as if it held the answer to all his suffering.

Feeling as if he himself might break if he acknowledged Tom's newfound suicidal desires, Russell covered the hybrid's mouth with his own, kissing him passionately. He forced his tongue past Tom's lips when he met resistance, kissing him with a desperation that overwhelmed them both. He was barely able to let up the kiss when Tom began to moan into his mouth, and then gasp when he ran out of oxygen.

"Can you understand how much I want you now, Tom? How much I need you?" Russell demanded, rubbing his coarse beard against his lover's neck and jaw as he showered him with kisses.

"Y—yes…" Tom panted, sounding a lot more reasonable now, if not utterly shattered by Russell's savage kiss.

"You might be a hybrid, Tom, but you're my beautiful hybrid." A small smile touched Russell's lips when Tom looked halfway embarrassed but thoroughly elated at that compliment. "Everybody knows about us now. Mariel. Dave. The children. If I had wanted to keep it a secret, I wouldn't have taken you to my bedroom so that everyone could speculate on what we're doing in here. That means that I have no intention of letting you go."

"I believe you…"

"Then I need you to believe something else. Larkin did something to you, Tom. After she attacked you, I felt a darkness in you that hadn't been there before. A suicidal darkness," he said, putting it as bluntly as he could. When Tom looked shocked, Russell gestured to the gun that was hanging not so innocently on the back of the chair. "What were you thinking just the now?"

"I wasn't thinking anything, Russ. I was just… upset."

"You can't lie to me, Tom. You should know by now that this bond that we have doesn't allow it."

"I'm not lying," Tom protested, now sounding indignant. "I'm not suicidal, Russ. I know that I've been depressed recently… but being with you makes me incredibly happy." His voice softened as he gazed up at Russell, his big blue eyes shining with emotion. "Larkin…" Tom faltered, visibly affected by just saying the name of the woman who had attacked him. "She just said some really disturbing things that got to me. And there was one point where maybe I blacked out… but I've never entertained any thoughts of harming myself. I love you, Russ. I would never do that to you."

The scary thing was that Tom wasn't lying. Or at least he didn't believe that he was lying. And if he didn't believe he was lying, that meant that he had no control over the suicidal tendencies that had temporarily clouded his mind. If Tom was unable to remember his suicidal thoughts or lacked the willpower to fight them, then the only thing standing between Tom and that gun was Russell – both physically and mentally.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Russell said gently, comforting his distressed lover. "Of course I know you wouldn't do that." But this time he was the one who was lying.


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