Getting out of her truck, Brittany walked through the front yard. She gazed at the large house ahead of her anxiously, but with a spark of determination. The blonde eyed the prominent porch and noticed the ramp leading up to it on the side. It looked fairly new. The house was surprisingly big and daunting. She hadn't expected Santana to live in such a large house in what appeared to be a family neighborhood.
She climbed the short flight of steps to the porch and stood outside the hefty wooden door. Brittany braced herself before knocking on Santana's front door. She waited but there was no response. The blonde tried the doorbell this time. She waited another moment, but there was still no answer. She rang it again. Brittany wondered if anyone was inside. Maybe Santana wasn't home? But that Aurelio guy had said she hadn't left her house in days. Was he telling the truth? Despite the things he said, he really seemed to care for Santana. Brittany didn't get the feeling he would just make all of that up.
She wondered again about his involvement with Santana before she forced that thought aside as she rang the doorbell again.
Seconds passed and Brittany heard a faint noise on the other side of the door and her heart sped up in anticipation. Before long the door slammed open, startling the blonde.
A disgruntled Santana appeared with her chair rattling after she'd rolled quickly to the door. "Auri! Will you fucking leave me alone!?"
The brunette startled and Brittany could see her face changing from irritation to utterly surprised in realization when her eyes fell on the blonde. Brittany noticed the woman was only wearing grey and black sweats with her hair tied in a messy bun. There were visible bags under her eyes, and Brittany saw the tiredness in them and the hint of sadness in her slump of her shoulders. The blonde forlornly wondered why that was, but the other part of her couldn't help but think Santana still looked absolutely beautiful.
"Hi," Brittany timidly muttered with a wave of her hand. Silence followed her single word as Santana just looked at her, her eyes still wide and her mouth parted. The blonde wondered what was going through her mind.
Brittany nervously shifted from one foot to the other, asking herself why Santana hadn't showed any reaction whatsoever.
"It's Brittany," she broke the silence, biting her lower lip. Her insecurities made her slightly afraid and even hurt at the possibility that Santana had forgotten her already.
The woman finally looked up, locking brown eyes with her own as she came out of her trance.
"I-I know," Santana nodded seemingly to herself as she briefly touched the bun at the top of her head, collecting a few loose strands and putting them behind her ear. She released a deep sigh and moved her gaze back to her lap. Brittany patiently waited for the woman as she seemed to gather her thoughts.
When Santana lifted her head back to look at Brittany something had changed, her expression was now void of any emotion. But even then, Santana had a hard time finding the right words.
"How… Never mind. What are you…?"
Brittany held in a chuckle at how cute she looked even while confused. The brunette cleared her throat after her failed attempt and tried again.
"What do you want, Brittany?" Santana seemed to finally get her bearings and she looked defiantly at the blonde with her arms crossed as she waited for Brittany's response.
Brittany felt her nerves getting the best of her, and the intimating look the brunette was giving her wasn't helping one bit.
But she had come all this way, and she wasn't giving up now.
She had so many questions, so many things she wanted to ask the woman in front of her. Brittany wanted to ask how Santana was doing, she was concerned about the girls' wellbeing and it was just inevitable; even if she had probably already missed her cue in the conversation. Brittany wanted to ask why the brunette had reacted the way she did last Tuesday and most importantly why the woman had never mentioned her disability; why she felt the need to omit that information from the blonde.
Brittany stubbornly locked blue eyes with brown and she could see Santana's gaze faltering under her intense look. The next words that left her mouth, however, surprised both of them.
"Go out with me!"
She said it louder than she intended. Brittany felt the heat spreading from her neck all the way to her ears. She hoped it hadn't sounded that bad, she hadn't intended to blurt that out but the words just spilled from her lips before she could do anything. Sure, she would love to go out with Santana but there was so much she wanted to talk over with the woman before anything. Plus, she didn't even know if Santana wanted to be her friend anymore and there she went jumping the gun by being too forward.
"What?!" Santana nearly yelled back, her eyes the size of pancakes.
"I wan-nna," Brittany fidgeted her hands nervously, trying to correct her mistake. But she didn't really want to backtrack. Even if she had blurted out, she still meant every word.
"I mean, I want to go out with you. I do. But I want to talk to you first, if that's ok," she added, not trying to impose on the woman. She waited a bit and Santana still hadn't responded. So Brittany searched those brown eyes before stuttering.
"C-Can we talk?"
"I guess," Santana sighed, giving the blonde a brief nod. The least Brittany deserved was a conversation and a proper explanation from her. She rolled backwards and spun her chair around, allowing Brittany to enter her house. Santana entered the spacious living room and motioned to the sofa nearby for Brittany to sit.
Brittany was so nervous; she barely registered how nice Santana's house was on the inside. Everything looked so clean and posh, not to mention her entire apartment probably fit in the woman's living room. It wasn't extravagant or anything - the décor was rather simple - but anyone could tell it was good quality and probably expensive furniture. Though Brittany did notice the presence of a large staircase before she entered the living room and for a moment wondered how or if Santana used it at all.
She nervously took a seat in the dark couch, sinking into its softness and taking comfort in it. Brittany didn't want to sit too close and make Santana uncomfortable, so she settled for sitting almost in the middle to give the woman some space as she rolled up closely to the couch.
"I guess you want some answers," Santana started. She really couldn't look Brittany in the eye, though.
Brittany nodded with a satisfied smile even if Santana wasn't looking at her. "I'd like that."
"Ok, shoot," Santana sat back in her chair trying to sound nonchalant, even if she clearly was still on edge.
Brittany took a deep breath to calm herself. She considered the things she had planned on asking in the first place and thought about what she should ask first.
"Are we friends?" she enquired, tilting her head to the side in genuine wonder.
The question seemed to surprise the brunette and she was speechless for a few seconds before shyly nodding her head. Brittany thought she saw her cheeks color for a brief moment but didn't say anything.
Brittany mirrored the nod in acknowledgement and cleared her throat before hesitantly asking, "did I…Did I do something wrong?"
Santana looked up with a confused frown as the blonde gazed sadly at her.
"I'm sorry if I upset you last week," Brittany continued, looking down at her lap as she fidgeted her hands. "I was just doing my job and…" she trailed off when Santana held up a hand and shook her head resolutely in denial.
"No, Britt. You didn't do anything," her expression was dejected, and it only puzzled Brittany further.
"I'm sorry, Brittany. I shouldn't have treated you like that," Santana finally let out the words that had been saved up for a week now. Something she had wanted to say as soon as the harsh words came out of her mouth.
Brittany noticed the brunette's stiff posture and how hard it seemed for Santana to mutter those words. She didn't seem like someone who apologized often, but Brittany appreciated the gesture.
There was silence for a few moments and Santana didn't dare look up from her legs.
Her words reassured the blonde that she hadn't done anything wrong, and the part of her that had been mad at Santana for the way she had acted resurfaced with that information. But Brittany would still give the woman the benefit of the doubt, she had come for answers after all and it was clear it was a sensitive subject for the brunette, so Brittany would grant her time.
Santana kept her gaze downwards and her hands gripped at the armrests of her chair, it didn't seem like she was going to elaborate any further. Brittany softened at the sight and tentatively spoke.
"San," she started softly; she wanted to reach out and touch the tan hand that rested on Santana's chair, but she settled for scooting a bit closer to the smaller girl and dipping her head to catch her brown eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" Her gaze briefly lowed to the girl's chair; she didn't need to say anything else. Santana understood what she meant.
Santana's eyes darted from one place to another as she thought about her response and Brittany gave her time. She was sure Santana had her reasons, and she would give the woman time to explain herself.
The brunette sucked in a deep breath before addressing the woman in front of her. "You didn't seem to realize. And I liked the way things were between us," she released the breath and muttered quietly. "For that time, I felt normal."
Brittany ignored the painful clutch in her chest and asked with a serious face, "Did you ever plan on telling me?"
Santana looked guiltily at the ground, biting at her lip. "I did. I just didn't know when it would be the right time. Brittany," she finally locked her eyes onto blue. "It caught me off guard. I wasn't prepared." Her voice cracked at the end and Brittany fought the urge to just hold her. Santana didn't avert her eyes though, and took a breath before continuing.
"I was afraid you would look at me in the same way other people do," Brittany didn't quite understand. She couldn't fathom anyone seeing anything in Santana that wasn't wonderful or amazing.
"You always looked at me differently," she stopped; not even her tan cheeks could hide the light blush covering her face. "A good different, I don't think anyone else ever has. I didn't want that to change like it has before."
"I understand," Brittany reassured, trying to hide her own coloring cheeks at the thought of her not-so-subtle glances at the brunette. It pained her to even imagine what Santana had gone through in her life. She was so curious to know more about the girl, what had happened for her to be wheelchair bound, when it happened and who might have treated that way after it happened, but Brittany didn't want to overstep any boundaries. It wasn't the right time; she had just got Santana talking to her again. So the blonde would wait for Santana to be ready to share her story instead of prying to satisfy her own curiosity.
On the other hand, Brittany couldn't fight the urge to touch the woman anymore; she had actually surprised herself on how long she was able to hold back. So she slowly inched her hand closer to touch Santana's. Her skin felt cold under her finger tips and Santana didn't reject her touch, so the blonde enveloped the cool hand with both of her own, rubbing a soothing thumb across the soft skin to ease the brunette. "Was that why you reacted the way you did?"
Santana nodded in defeat, as she stared at their intertwined hands.
Brittany squeezed Santana's hand to get her attention back before asking "but why shut me out like that?"
Santana winced at the hurt tone in her voice as she looked up to see the blonde with her eyes stormy and looking visibly upset. She felt her heart squeeze painfully in her chest and an uncomfortable twitch in her gut at the sight of a distressed Brittany.
"I don't know," she muttered honestly and rephrased some of her earlier words. "I was afraid of what your reaction might be." The blonde scrunched up her face in a deeper frown. Santana let go of her hand to rub at her own face in frustration.
"I'm sorry; I'm just such a coward," her eyes watered but she didn't let her tears run down. She would not cry in front of anyone, not even Brittany. She was pathetic enough as it was.
Brittany shook her head, not believing Santana would thing that of herself. "I don't think you're a coward, Santana. I understand that it's hard for you. But you are talking to me now, aren't you?" she smiled timidly at the brunette.
The tiniest of smiles appeared in the corner of her plump lips, and it brightened Brittany's and solidified her resolve.
"Ooook," Brittany nodded to herself stretching the word before she repeated her earlier question "so, will you go out with me?"
Santana seemed to have forgotten that Brittany had even asked her that. And she looked puzzled as her face scrunched up in disbelief and doubt. "Why?"
The blonde was taken aback by the question and she shrugged out of reflex. At her lack of words, Brittany ducked her head in embarrassment. She could already feel her face flushing red again as all the reasons she wanted to date Santana filled her mind. All the wonderful things she noticed about the brunette, like the way her face scrunched up into her brightest smile when she was happy, the way she listened so intently to all the silly things Brittany had to say, the way she treated Brittany in the sweetest manner even when teasing her and the new found knowledge of how strong Santana really is. She could think of those and a hundred more reasons to want to date the woman but if she actually said them to her, Brittany would most likely look weird and inadequate.
"Don't bother," Santana's harsh voice cut into Brittany's thoughts and she watched as the brunette rolled backwards and away from her. "You don't have to go out with me out of pity."
"What?" It was Brittany's time to be surprised. That thought hadn't cross the blonde's mind for even a second.
Santana distanced herself, making her way to the door and Brittany followed her in haste as the brunette moved with practice ease. The smaller girl held open the front door for the blonde to leave without meeting her eyes.
But instead of leaving, Brittany grabbed the door handle and forced the door shut before Santana could protest. The blonde crossed her arms with a huff, pressed her body against the hard wood and stared intently at the brunette.
"What are you talking about?" Brittany demanded, and Santana looked startled by this new side of the blonde.
"I-I…" Santana stuttered for a few seconds. "Y-you know about me now." She glanced down dejectedly, gesturing to her legs. "You don't have to keep up our little game, Brittany. I'm giving you a way out."
"No," Brittany almost interrupted her with her gaze was fixed on the brunette. Santana looked into determined blue orbs, noticing the frustration in them. "I don't want out."
"I want to take you out on a date, Santana," she held up her hand when she saw Santana opening her mouth to speak. "I may have blurted that out before, but I still meant it."
She crouched down to Santana's level, supporting herself on the arms of her chair. She looked into unsure, brown eyes and her gaze softened.
"I want to, because I like you," her voice was barely above a whisper but they were so close, it was impossible for Santana not to hear. "I liked you from the first time I saw you. And I like you even more now that I know more about you. It doesn't change how I feel."
There was a moment of silence as Brittany stood up. Santana broke their eye contact as she thought it over, but the taller girl didn't look away for even a second.
She watched intently as those lips she longed for muttered quietly, "I-I can't…"
Brittany could feel her heart breaking in her chest cavity, her stomach dropped but her eyes didn't falter and remained fixed on the woman in front of her. An unknown feeling bubbled up inside her and she just had to ask.
"Is it because you have a boyfriend, or do you just not like me?" She blurted it out before she could stop. But she didn't regret it. She really didn't have anything to lose at this point, and that thought had been mulling in her mind for weeks.
Santana startled at the question, thinking the conversation was already over. She stared at the blonde with her mouth open. "I don't have a boyfriend."
She looked like she wanted to say something more but for some reason, she stayed quiet.
"But that guy, Aurelio…"
"Auri?" Santana cut her off, and Brittany winced at the pet name she used. The brunette had her face scrunched up in confusion and Brittany almost hated that she looked so cute.
"That ass is my brother," Santana said with her frown still in place as she wondered when Brittany had even met him.
Brittany felt silly for a moment. She wanted to kick herself for not noticing their resemblances. It wasn't anything obvious, but they had the same brown eyes, teasing smirk and Santana's trade mark dimple.
She recovered from her surprise just as Santana was about to ask something, but Brittany cut her off.
"Then why?" she insisted, because Santana still hadn't answered her question. Brittany knew she might be pushing it, but she just wanted to know the truth. She really liked this girl, and something within her told her Santana might feel the same.
There was another stretched silence for a couple of minutes and to Brittany's disappointment, it didn't look like Santana was going to say anything. She could practically feel the walls rising back around the brunette. Brittany deflated in defeat; she had done everything she could at this point. She lowered her head, stood up and opened the door to leave.
"Brittany, wait," the sound of her beautiful voice filled Brittany with hope. She looked back at the brunette, her eyes searching brown ones for an answer.
"I'll go."
Brittany couldn't believe her own ears. She was about to burst into a happy dance when Santana spoke again.
"But only one date, okay?" Santana asked uncertainly, biting her lower lip.
"Yeah," Brittany breathed after a second, trying to hide her disappointment. But she would take that. She could feel Santana's hesitance, but it was an opportunity for them to be together outside of work and get their friendship back where it used to be, hopefully even further. One date would have to be enough to convince Santana to give her a real chance.
"Then I'll go," Santana smiled and for the first time that day, Brittany noticed a real smile, however small it was and she couldn't contain her own excitement at the adorable sight.
"Awesome!"
Author's Note:
Disclamer: This is a work of fiction and not canon, like at all. And Brittana does not belong to me.
Soooo whatacha think? We saw a new side of Santana in this one and got some answers!
This one took longer than usual for several reasons personal and not; ngl it was also pretty hard to write. I did my best and got the awesome help from my new beta leeluvzya so let's give it up for her and I hope you all enjoy it!
You reviews made my day it was pretty awesome getting so much feedback so I'm always so grateful for every single one of them. So I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this one! And yes, I heard the spoilers. I don't wanna spoil it for anyone but yesss I'm so happy :D
For reasons, take a quick trip to my profile and vote for your preferred story. :D
Special thanks to slbsp-33 for the constant support and for just being awesome!
Ducks.
