Wanderings with Werewolves

Chapter 9 – Revelations with Remus

Back in her cubicle at the Ministry the next day, Tonks was once again surrounded by paperwork. It felt a bit odd to be buried in pieces of parchment after having spent the past few days out in the field, but it didn't seem as tedious as it had before. It certainly helped that rather than poring over files that meant virtually nothing to her, she was instead describing the details of her very own investigation.

She took her time filling out her reports, detailing everything – from what she had found in Lockhart's books, to what had turned up in the searches of his places of residence, to what had been revealed during her various interviews. She didn't have the power or authority to actually pass judgement over Lockhart – that rested with the Wizengamot – but, as the chief investigator on the case, she was able to at least give recommendations for sentencing. Tonks thought back to what Remus had told her yesterday – that justice would be helping the victims of Lockhart's schemes, no matter if the perpetrator himself had, in an untraditional way, circumvented the legal process.

She had mulled over his wise words for some time, and although it rankled a bit, she realized that she had been seeing the situation as very much black and white. That bothered her; she considered herself to very liberal and open-minded. Maybe it had to do with the constant metamorphing and colour-changing, but she was never just black and white! She would have to try much harder to apply that means of thinking to her duties – it wouldn't do to be constantly pouting whenever a suspect got the better of the Auror Department. There would be wins and there would be losses, Tonks told herself; and instead of counting this one as a loss, she was starting to come around to considering it a win. Gilderoy Lockhart had been punished – not by the Wizengamot, but rather by himself. Perhaps the Janus Thickey ward wasn't exactly the equivalent of a cell in Azkaban, but the man would most likely spend the rest of his life there, never truly knowing who he was. That was a severe sentence in its own right.

In the meantime, justice could be carried out in another sense. In her recommendations, Tonks suggested that the proceeds of Lockhart's royalty cheques be divvied up and paid out to all of his victims, as a form of restitution for their mental anguish. She hoped the Wizengamot would listen; it seemed only right that the profits from the tales of heroic deeds actually went to those who had performed them in the first place.

But of course, having their memories restored was the most important thing. After writing up a copious report on the victims, she had sent it off straight away to the Obliviators; all the victims would hopefully have their memories back within the next day or so. She had deemed Abaven Vartanian a priority and placed him on the top of the list, and made a note to herself to perhaps check on him in a few days' time. Maybe she could even offer to help him track down Rudolf, if he ended up needing assistance with finding his brother.

A few more i's were dotted and t's crossed, and then, when she added the final touch of her loopy signature to the bottom of the report, Tonks found herself rather stunned. She was done. Her very first investigation was now complete! She stifled an excited giggle, and instead grabbed the report and made her way out of her cubicle (catching her elbow on the doorway in her haste).

She virtually skipped towards Mad-Eye's desk, and then dropped the stack of parchment in front of him with a flourish. "Ta-da!" she cried, grinning.

"You're in a good mood," he observed, suspiciously raising a bushy eyebrow in her direction.

"You might say I'm tickled pink," she winked, changing her usual spiky hairdo from midnight blue to a shade of bubblegum, before telling him proudly, "I've just wrapped up the Lockhart investigation!"

That got his attention, and both his real eye and his magical one fixed on her. "You don't say!"

She grinned and nodded towards the papers she had deposited in front of him. "It's all in there."

He opened up the folder and began to skim over it; every so often his magical eye would swivel away from the parchment and look her over appraisingly, before returning to the report. The only sound that came from him was the occasional "Hmm" and "Ah", which really didn't reveal much to her. In fact, it made her somewhat nervous.

"So… what do you think?" Her earlier excitement had now become an odd sort of tenseness. Despite all her teasing (which really, was good for him, since it kept him on his toes), Tonks respected Moody a great deal, and was always eager for his approval. She very much hoped that her work on the case was to his liking.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Moody put the papers down and swivelled his chair around to face her. "Well done, lass, well done. I have to say I'm impressed," he admitted, but then narrowed his eyes shrewdly. "How do you feel about it?"

She blinked, not expecting that question; of course, she should have, since the old codger always did enjoy catching her off guard. She had to think about the answer for a few seconds, before cautiously replying. "To be honest, I think I could have done a better job. Searching Lockhart's home and office seemed like such a waste of time – I wish I'd thought of checking Gringott's first."

To her surprise, Mad-Eye merely nodded appreciatively. "Good girl! I'm glad you can admit your faults. A pigheaded Auror is of no use to anyone – if you can't admit your mistakes then you can't learn from them!"

"Oh, I'm sure I made plenty of mistakes," she murmured, ducking her head a bit.

"But in the end, you wrapped up the case. And you asked for help when you needed it," he commended, knocking his walking staff onto the floor in approval. Then he actually laughed. "I can't believe you consulted Remus Lupin on werewolves! You always did have a way of getting information from people."

"What? What's odd about that?" Tonks asked, bewildered. Why wouldn't Remus have told her what he knew about the subject? "He told me he was a Dark Creature expert."

"Aye, that's one way to put it," Moody chortled, until he finally realized that Tonks was not in on the joke. He sighed and grumbled, "Oh, never you mind then, it just amuses me."

"Hmph. I thought amusements got in the way of 'constant vigilance'," she muttered sullenly. She simply hated being out of the loop on things, and Mad-Eye's reaction to Remus had made her curiosity about the good professor resurface once again (not that it had ever truly gone away). Oh, what wasn't he telling her? She knew it was something important, what with the Secrecy Sensor on his desk going off, which made Moody scowl and cast a Silencing Charm on it.

Well, whatever it was, it seemed clear that he wouldn't reveal it. Instead Moody handed the folder to her and said, "Good to know that everything I tell you doesn't go in one ear and out the other. I'll see if I can find another case to throw your way."

That was his gruff way of telling her that he was proud of her, so she took back the case file and smiled. "Thanks, Mad-Eye." She definitely owed him one, and began to wonder what sort of thank-you gift she could give him that he wouldn't automatically blast to bits because of his paranoia…

Her next stop was to the tenth floor of the Ministry, to drop off a copy of her report to Wizengamot Administration Services. Once she handed over the file, that was it – the case was officially closed. She had to admit, the feeling of satisfaction she got from that was wonderful. She couldn't wait to crack another one!

But once again she was getting ahead of herself, she thought as she entered the lift and began the ride back to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Tonks tried to imagine what sort of case she would get next, trying not to get too fanciful, like last time. In the midst of her wondering, the lift's cool voice broke through her haze and announced, "Level four, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, including the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures, the Goblin Liaison Office, and Werewolf Support Services."

Tonks started, reminded of Mad-Eye's inexplicable sense of amusement earlier. What was it about Remus Lupin and werewolves that he had found so funny? Oh, wonderful, now she was back to obsessively wondering about Remus again… Well, there was clearly only one way to get that out of her system!

-x-x-x-

It was with a great deal more than her usual bundle of nerves that she knocked on the door to the Defence Against the Dark Arts office later that afternoon. After some soul-searching and an hour spent giving herself a pep talk, she knew what she had come to say and she was determined to get it out – but she had absolutely no clue as to how Remus would respond. To be perfectly honest, the very thought terrified her. She was an Auror for Merlin's sake, she scolded herself; luckily seeing Remus' delighted smile when he opened the door calmed her down somewhat.

"Tonks! What a pleasant surprise. Please, come in," he greeted her, ushering her inside with his usual politeness.

She thanked him, but then worriedly looked him over with a closer eye. "You're looking a bit peaky again – are you quite alright?"

He chuckled somewhat uncomfortably, before waving a dismissive hand and joking, "This is just me recovering from trying to drink you under the table last night."

"Ah," she said, choosing to accept his words, even though she doubted that the few shots of Firewhisky they'd shared the night before could be the cause for how pale and tired he currently looked. She certainly didn't want to call him on it, when what she was about to say him already made her feel awkward enough!

She wanted to get it over with, before she lost her nerve. Taking a deep breath, she braced herself before she finally made herself ask, "Do you think you've recovered enough to maybe… go out with me tonight?"

Remus' eyes widened in what she at first thought was pleasant surprise, but then they instantly looked pained. "Tonks, believe me when I say I would love to, but… I unfortunately already have plans," he muttered, his vague excuse coming out rather dispiritedly.

She couldn't help but feel like her insides had just plummeted all the way down to the dungeons. "Oh. I see. Er, forget I asked, then."

"I don't want to forget you asked!" he quickly tried to reassure her, his voice firm but lacking its usual composure. "I wish I could say yes, more than anything, but the timing… It really can't be helped. Perhaps another night? Any other night?"

Tonks took another bracing breath and forced herself to meet his eyes before quietly wondering, "Any night other than the full moon, you mean?"

Her question was met with a shocked silence. Remus dropped down in his chair, stunned at her words. She was too; she could scarcely believe she had asked him like that!

She instantly regretted how she had approached this all, and wanted to apologize for being so… so cavalier and insensitive about it, but Remus reacted first. "You've sussed me, then," he said, somewhat dejectedly, releasing a long, tense sigh. "I should have known it would only be a matter of time."

"You're giving me too much credit again, Remus," she scoffed, shaking her head. "I really wasn't too quick with putting the pieces together."

"Would you mind terribly if I asked how you figured it out?" he asked, in a tone that seemed very professional – almost detached.

"Not at all," Tonks said slowly, a bit surprised that this was the direction he was taking things – but then figured it was only natural to want to learn how somebody's deepest secret was revealed. "I wondered about how you'd sometimes get a bit uncomfortable – like when I came to ask you about the Homorphus Charm, or when Snape dropped off that potion for you. I thought it might have just been because of me and my occasional bouts of word-vomit... But then when we went to see Mr. Vartanian and the potions he was brewing reminded me of yours, I got more curious. Mad-Eye making cracks about you being a werewolf expert just about pushed me over the edge, since I knew he wasn't telling me something about you."

"Did that bother you? Not knowing things about me?" he questioned, with an odd expression on his face that she couldn't place.

"Yes, actually. Ever since we met, I've wanted to know more about you," she admitted sheepishly, and quickly decided to spare them both the embarrassment of telling him just how much she had been constantly thinking (or was a better term 'obsessing'?) about him. "And my curiosity led me to Werewolf Support Services this afternoon, since I figured if you were such an expert, they'd know you there."

"Oh, they do indeed know me there," Remus laughed shortly, without an ounce of humour.

Tonks frowned, but continued, unable to deny her inquisitiveness now that things finally seemed to be out in the open. "I really wasn't expecting you to be listed in the Registry, but looking back, it all makes sense now. You were uncomfortable when I asked you about werewolves because you thought I suspected you? And the potion Snape brewed for you was Wolfsbane?"

"Yes, on both counts," he nodded. "When I took the post as professor here, one of the safety measures Dumbledore instituted was having Severus prepare the potion for me. This month's regimen is the first we've tried; needless to say, I hope it will be effective." He turned his head away from her, a far-off look taking over his eyes for a moment. A few seconds later, he turned back and added, "And yes, when you asked me about the Homorphus Charm that day, I nearly had a heart attack! I have to admit, it took me a while to determine if you were purposely asking me those things in order to prove your suspicions."

"I never really had any suspicions. Until today, at least," she amended, feeling somewhat silly. It was just like the Lockhart case, now that she thought about it, with the answers she was searching so hard for actually staring her right in the face. "Like I said, you give me too much credit – if I hadn't popped by Werewolf Support Services this afternoon on a whim, I probably never would have found out. Sort of an accident, really." Not to mention pretty pathetic, Tonks thought to herself. As an Auror, shouldn't she have noticed all the signs much sooner? She was amazingly slow on the uptake at times…

Remus didn't appear to be thinking along those lines, however. With a subdued expression, he cautiously asked, "Then… Was the only reason you asked me out tonight to see if I would admit to it?"

Tonks had to restrain herself from gasping, and not giving in to wishful thinking – at least, not entirely. Was he truly worried about the motivations behind asking him out? At that thought, her nerves returned in full force and she struggled to coolly reply, "Honestly, I was hoping you wouldn't be a werewolf, so we could go out tonight…"

"Oh, I see," Remus quietly interrupted with a disappointed sigh, and she could have slapped herself, realizing he must have been thinking that the werewolf aspect had scared her off. Merlin's pants, she was bungling this badly!

She quickly continued, "But maybe we can try it on a less moonlit night instead? That whole notion of moonlight being romantic is overrated, you know."

Immediately after her words were spoken, Tonks wanted to wince. If only she had a Time-Turner so she could take them back! She had wanted to spell it out for him, clear as day, and say that she didn't care he was a werewolf – it made absolutely no bloody difference to her. Sure, it had been a slight shock when she had finally figured it out, but she quickly realized that it didn't detract from his kindness, or his handsomeness, or his intellect, or his compassion. But noooo, instead she had tried to be all coy and flirtatious, and now he would probably misconstrue it as dismissive or immature! Merlin's balls, why hadn't she assuaged his worries in the simplest way possible, by just bloody shouting that she didn't care?

But it was too late to take it back. The silence that followed her thoughtless comment made her feel incredibly awkward at first – but as she glanced over at Remus, she realized that instead of seeming upset or shattered, he was instead utterly consumed with staring at her, with what she thought – and hoped – was admiration in his eyes. "You really are something else, Tonks," he finally breathed, before letting loose a relieved chuckle that (after a moment of shock) she couldn't help but echo.

Relief coursed through her, and suddenly all was right in the world – or at least, in their own little world, which consisted of nobody else but the two of them, together in the DADA office. They continued to stare at each other, but now the silence was much more comfortable. It was as if there was a tacit understanding that nothing more needed to be said.

However, Tonks was no longer content with just watching; before her mind even knew what her body was doing, her hand was reaching to gently clasp Remus'. But perhaps it would have been best had Tonks' mind been in on the action, for she didn't notice the precariously placed stack of parchment on the edge of the desk. As her arm brushed against them, they quickly fell to the floor.

"Oh, bloody hell, I'm sorry about that!" she apologized, chagrined that her clumsiness had made another appearance. And just when things were going so well, too! She really was ace at ruining significant moments – and they had most definitely been sharing a moment!

"It's no problem," he said easily, actually somewhat amused at her escapades. They seemed to lighten the mood, at least. "They're just a few lesson plans, it's nothing too vital."

"No, here, let me help," she insisted, dropping down off the chair and trying to gather up the parchment. As she stacked them back into a pile, her eyes couldn't help but wander over the neat script, and she took in just what he had planned for his classes. "Remus," she began slowly. "There's nothing on here about Pogrebins. Didn't you say you wanted to catch one for your class during our little excursion to Armenia?"

Was it her imagination, or did the man flush a bit? "Ah, well… I suppose that was a rather flimsy pretext to spend a bit more time with you, wasn't it?" he winced, running a hand through his hair in an embarrassed gesture.

She had to laugh, and admitted with a blush, "At least you found a semi-plausible one! My excuse to get you to come with me was a bit pathetic, wasn't it?"

"I'm relieved I wasn't the only one making up silly excuses, at least," he grinned in return, and she had to agree. Acting like a schoolgirl had seemed somewhat pathetic at the time, but if she hadn't been the only one feeling like she'd been transformed back into a teenager, then perhaps it wasn't as mortifying.

Besides, Tonks couldn't help but feel satisfied at the fact that she could reduce the educated, collected professor in front of her back to a schoolboy! It did wonders for her ego, and she couldn't help but tease him. "Well, I'm positively shocked at your actions, Professor Lupin! You lied to an Auror – that's a punishable offence, you know."

"Would you take a bribe, Auror Tonks?" he teased right back, a positively playful gleam in his eyes that made her heart actually skip a beat. "Perhaps a nice dinner?"

"Hmm, perhaps…" she managed to reply coyly, when on the inside she really felt more like shrieking in delight. She certainly wasn't used to feeling like this, so giddy and hopeful – but she wanted to get used to it. And Merlin help her, she had to let Remus know that, right then and there. The coyness dropped from her voice, and in all seriousness, Tonks added, "But I feel I have to warn you right now, just one might not be enough."

The blinding grin on Remus Lupin's face told her he was perfectly amenable to that.

- To Be Continued… -


Next chapter – the conclusion, the end, the finale, the epilogue… that's right, the last chapter of Wanderings with Werewolves!

Well, Remus' deep, dark secret has been revealed! And of course Tonks wouldn't take off running in the opposite direction – but I'm sure some of you were hoping for that so you could step in and comfort our favourite professor, weren't you? ;) Well, if you still want to hug him, by all means, feel free – but how about a review first?

Toodles,

– ish –