Breaking your own heart, part 8
Walking on Minefields.
Edward's POV.
Breakfast with my family went about as well as can be expected. Alice throw a major fit and somehow got my tension levels above normal. But then a simple phrase calmed her like a flip of a switch. Sometimes Alice was the easiest person to set off but also so easy to please. Nothing else happened that night, drama wise. Emmett and the others kept asking what Alice and I were talking about but since Bella wasn't ready to tell yet, Alice was the only one that knew. I'm sure I'll be hearing all about that from Bella later. Alice was the one she wanted to know the least of all right now, but it was either kill my little sister or tell her. I told her to shut her up! Bella will find it in her heart to forgive me at some point, I hoped at least. Once everyone else had left I escaped into my room to take a shower and somehow ended up face down in my pillows on the bed. This was somehow relaxing even though I could tell that water was soaking into my sheets from my body. I apparently didn't care in this moment so I just laid here for a while. Time seemed to pass me by in a blur as I relaxed farther into the mattress. Sleep almost seemed to be the only thing left and then something slammed into my back and covered my eyes with its hands.
"OW, Oh … Hey, what the hell?" I muttered as I realized I was under some kind of attack. "What's going on now?"
Someone had jumped onto my back and used their legs to tangle up with mine. I was unable to see since my eyes were covered but my arms were free. I reached around and grabbed whoever this was around the waist. Without thinking, I pulled them from on top of me and swung around quickly to pin them beneath me instead.
"Alright, now wh…" I started to demand to know who they were but froze mid sentence when I was mesmerized by two shimmering pools of melting chocolate. "Bella? What, … what are you doing?"
"Well that didn't go as planned." Bella muttered looking surprised and sounding slightly disappointed. "Sorry."
"Bella? … Oh, OH." I said in shock again when realized I was still pinning her to my bed under me, … forcefully. "Uh Sorry! Are you okay? … I didn't hurt you, did I Bella?"
I quickly removed my hands from her arms and climbed off from on top of her to sit beside her on the bed. She was watching me like I had just fallen into a mud puddle and she was trying not to laugh. She was doing a horrible job at trying but still. Bella was still laying flat across my bed as she smiled up at me in my panicked state. I stared down at her in surprise and tried to calm down, clearly she wasn't hurt but that didn't stop my eyes from glancing back to her wrist to check for discolorations. Of course that had nothing to do with my eyes glancing over the rest of her as she laid beside me. Sure she was still wearing the same thing she's had on all day but now it was different. She was in my bed now.
"I was trying to sneak attack you but I guess I forgot that you are freakishly strong compared to my weak klutziness." Bella said as she laughed about my momentary freak out … Great.
"I guess, I over reacted." I said sheepishly. "I kinda thought that you had gone home like everyone else."
She stopped smiling then and sat up frowning. "Oh." Bella whispered softly. "Oh, I didn't even think about that."
"N, … Not that I'm not happy to see otherwise." I stumbled out as I realized what she must have thought from that, I pulled her into my arms now. "In fact, I'm glad to see you haven't left yet."
"Are you sure, cause I could leave?" Bella said quickly as she looked around me at the clock. "Its getting late and you looked like you were trying to rest before I jumped on you. … Again, sorry."
"No, really!" I answered quickly, probably too quickly. "I want you to stay, I'm happy that you stayed and even that you attacked me."
"Now I know you're just messing with me." Bella said rolling her eyes but I saw she smile playing at the corner of her mouth, I desperately wanted to kiss her then.
"No, really." I said smiling and I winked. "I really should have known it was you, but you see, I was almost asleep."
"So I just caught you … off guard?" Bella asked raising an eye brow at me, it was very rare for me to have my guard down.
"Exactly but now I'm wide awake and happy to see you." I answered honestly. "I want you to stay, … stay the nigh even?"
"Oh, … so you can trap me here while Alice drives me insane with wedding plans?" Bella asked skeptically.
I laughed. "Bella, Alice isn't even here and honestly … she's the farthest thing from my mind right now." I told her and my eyes glanced back between her eyes and her lips.
"So, … then what do you want me here … all night for?" Bella asked as I caught her staring at my lips as well, she was trying to mess with me now … playing games.
"Well, we could stay up and talk." I answered as off handed as I could manage. "Catch up since its been so long, or watch a few movies. We could just sleep if you wanted. Or we could do this!"
Before she could really answer anything or do anything, I pulled Bella closer to me and kissed her. Just as I've been waiting to for so long now. She was surprised at first but it didn't take too long for her to join in on the kissing. Soon we were both kissing with such passion and all of the emotions we'd been feeling lately. It was so strange to have Bella back in my life like this, almost as if none of this even happened. But it did happen and I'd never let it come that close to happening ever again. Bella will never feel that way ever again and I'll never have to feel lost without her here. The passion in our kisses only seemed to grow as time passed and even though we were just making out, it was still a magical night. Definitely going into one of my top favorite nights with Bella.
She pulled back to take a breath, so I kissed her neck. "Wow, … out … of breath." She muttered smiling.
"Good." I murmured against her skin as I continued kissing her, I didn't want to stop kissing Bella, ever. "I'm very happy, Bella."
"I'm … happy … too, Edward." Bella was smiling and her eyes were closed as she enjoyed the feel of my lips on her.
As Bella's breathing started to calm back down, I started calming down myself. My breathing was fine as far as I was concerned but more like my constant need for contact between us was becoming satisfied. … No, that's not right. Not satisfied … not like I could even get enough of my Bella but more like the desperation has lessened. I was happy again and that's not a feeling I'd been used to in the last few months, it would take some getting used to again. As Bella simply snuggled into my arms and laid her head against my chest, I could tell she felt the same way. Bella and I curled up on my bed, comfortably for the next few hours. As time passed us in a much calmer way, I noticed she was slowly drifting off. She'd looked so tired the lately and I could tell she hadn't been sleeping well. I wished that I could change that before and now, here was my chance. There wasn't anything that was going to wake my Bella once she finally started to get the sleep she needed.
…
Once Bella was fully asleep I carefully got up to turn out the lights and make sure everything was perfectly quiet. I didn't want something to go off and woke her. When I got back into the room Bella was still sleeping but she looked as if she was having a nightmare. I quickly but carefully climbed back into bed with her and covered us both with the comforter. Once I was pulled her into my arms she seemed to relax again so maybe she was just cold. Or … and this thought pleased me a lot, maybe she just missed me. Either way, she was back to being relaxed and fast asleep in my arms. After a while of just watching her dream and gently playing with her hair, I glanced at the clock to find it was very late. I myself was quickly feeling my eyes droop and was fighting sleep. I just wanted to stay up and watch her a little longer but my body had other plans. Before too long, I was drifting to sleep beside her.
"Wake up." A soft voice whispered into my ear. "Oh Edward, wake up. Come on silly, you've been out for hours now."
I groaned at the voice, completely unwilling to wake up. "N, no." I half spoke through my tired lips. "Sleep now."
I could feel someone's breath against my cheek now. "Edward, wake up. …. Please?" The sweet voice begged again.
At this point it didn't feel like I had much choice. "Fine." I muttered and tried to lift my head but my eyes refused to open.
"Edward!" The soft sweet voice was frustrated as my head fell back on to my pillows. "Fine, then I'll just eat alone."
That seemed to get my attention, my eyes opened and my mind clicked everything together. "Bella?" I asked drowsily.
"Of course Silly, who did you think it was?" Bella asked as she smiled down at my tired and sleepy face. "Were you dreaming about another girl I should know about?"
"NO, of course not Bella." I answered quickly; even though I couldn't remember my dream, I knew it had no one else.
"Good, then lets go get some breakfast." Bella said simply. "I'm starving and I know its early but get out of bed!"
I rolled over with a moan and looked at the clock upside down. "Uhhh Bella, its almost noon?" I said in reply to her early comment. "I guess I should have been out of bed hours ago."
"Ok, well whatever then." Bella said waving it off as she grabbed my arm and started dragging me off the bed.
"Ok, ok. I'm coming Bella." I answered while laughing.
As I got out of bed, Bella rushed out the door and left me to get ready. As I was changing for the day I realized something. Bella has been here two nights now and she's been wearing the same cloths since I brought her here after our reunion. I guess I haven't been doing a very good job at taking care of her again. Bella and I haven't done much eating or sleeping … or even changing cloths for a new day. With this thought in mind I started going through my closet and dresser, looking for anything that could pass for something to fit her small form. I didn't have much to offer her but finally I found an old shirt and a small pair of shorts she could borrow. After we ate she could take a shower and change before I drove us over to her house for a better outfit. From now on, I'll make sure I take much better care of her and everything she needs.
"So, am I cooking or since its lunch time I could order out?" I asked as I walked out into the kitchen.
"I already cooked." Bella answered as she placed two plates of food on the table for us. "I just finished as I came to wake you."
"Wow" I said in pleasant surprise as I sat down beside her. "Wow, Bella this all looks amazing and smells so great!"
"Its not everyday I get to wake up before you and have time to beat you to the kitchen." Bella teased as we both started eating.
"Normally I'd have something to say about that teasing." I started to tell her as I ate. "But honestly, this is too good to argue over."
"Well, thank you Edward!" She said happily. "I'm glad you like everything so much. I was hoping to surprised you."
"You succeeded. I told her. "Oh by the way, I found an old outfit you can borrow so you can shower up before I run to home for a better outfit. Its not much but it will work until you get home."
"Oh, ok." Bella said simply. "Thanks, Edward."
"Plus I'd also like to talk to your father." I started to explain. "I know you don't want people to know about it yet. And I truly am sorry for having to tell Alice the other night but I think Charlie should have a little heads up. After all, I asked you without getting his approval first and that's not the correct way to do this so he should at the very least he should be second to know, right?"
She froze with her fork just at her lips. "You WHAT?" She gasped and dropped her fork, staring at me. "You want to tell Charlie that we're engaged? Are you INSANE?"
"Bella, Love. Its not like we are a couple of teenagers anymore." I said calmly. "We are in love and Charlie has gotten used to the idea of us being together. You used to spend more time at my place than his house anyway. He should be ok with this."
"Probably not, … not after these last few mouths." Bella whispered with her head down, I barely heard what she said.
"He's been blaming me for what happened to us." It wasn't a question, I knew he would have and he was correct. "Good, it was my fault Bella, and someone should hold me accountable. Other than Alice but she's over it by now. Look, if we go in and explain everything maybe he'll see this is a good thing. It means nothing like that will ever happen between us ever again."
"Yeah … but … ?" Bella started slowly. "But what if he still doesn't like the idea? I don't want him blaming you Edward. And why does he have to be told today? Can't it wait a little while?"
"I didn't mean for it to seem like I'm rushing things Bella." I explained apologetically. "I just thought it would be a good idea to tell him before too many other's find out first. Not that I plan on telling anyone else until you are ready to … but at some point."
"Yeah … but its not like the wedding in tomorrow." Bella started. "So, there's time to wait before we have to tell Dad. Alice is going to have to keep her mouth shut until we decide on a date."
"Of course Bella." I agreed happily. "If you want to wait then we can wait to tell the others until you are ready. As long as when we are alone you still allow me to call you, my fiancée."
"F, Fi, … Fiancée?" Bella muttered out in shock.
I couldn't help it, her face was too adorable not to smile at. "Yes Bella, fiancée. You know, since you have my ring. You said yes to my question. And all that means we are engaged, that makes you my fiancée and I, yours. Unless you prefer the future Mrs. Cullen?"
"Ok, don't even joke with me like that!" Bella snapped. "Edward its scary enough to think that Alice is going to be bringing out that damn book again but now there are titles involved? I'm not ready for any of this. We just got back together and now you want me act like a fiancée? We've never lived together, yet we are engaged to be married? How'd that happen?"
"Bella, calm down, Love." I guess everything was just getting too much for her, I reached out and took her hand. "Its going to be alright Bella. We don't have to tell anyone or do anything about this now. I won't call you that if you'd rather I didn't. I never meant to upset with all of this, I was just teasing. I'm sorry, Bella."
She took a deep breath. "No, … no I'm sorry." Bella answered calmer now. "I'm sorry I snapped. I guess I just hadn't realized what all I had been saying yes to before. But I'm ok now."
"I guess marriage is a pretty big step and you were right, we've not lived together yet." I hadn't thought before about what a big step it would feel like to Bella, to me it just felt natural. "Although, with as much time as you used to spend over here, it almost felt like we did live together. Maybe we should take a few steps back for a while. Take some time to get used to the whole situation."
"I don't want to step backwards, Edward." Bella said confidently. "I just don't want to jump three steps ahead before my head can adjust to the new changes. Maybe one step at a time?"
"Ok, then … what's the next step?" I asked trying to keep up.
"Umm, well I'm going to take a shower and get dressed." Bella said after some thought. "Then you'll drive us back to Charlie's so I can get a few things packed. After that we'll come back here to talk about it some more. Talk about all the steps."
"Ok, seems like a great plan to me." I answered as I cleared the table from our now finished breakfast/lunch meal.
"OK. Then its settled." Bella said happily as she rushed off to me room again. "Thanks for the borrowed clothes!" She called out.
While I was waiting for Bella to finish her shower and getting dressed, I started cleaning up the kitchen. It wasn't that much to do since Bella usually cleaned as she cooked. It amazed me how much she got done while I was just sleeping away. All that time I could have been awake with her, wasted on stupid sleep. Well, maybe I'll just have to find a way to make up for our lost time together. Not just from while I was sleeping the day away either. All the time we lost from when Bella tried to take herself away from me. I'd have to make up for that lost time as well … and soon. Of course, once she becomes my wife we'll have all the time in the world to be together. I'd do anything and everything to make her happy.
