Joker: Thanks for the ride. You're a funny guy. Are you sure the old gang lives around here? True, they could be dead. (Gasp) Law-abiding? Bite your tongue!
Joker gets out of the vehicle and looks around, ignorant of Batman watching over him. He looks at the graffiti on the walls.
Joker: Interesting. My fame precedes me.
A subway train was rolling by from above. Joker turns around to see it and also sees Batman coming down. Joker kicked him on the way down.
Joker: (Laughing) Right in the belfry. Please don't go...
Batman: Shut it, clo...(Grunts)
Joker: Aww, did you hurt your leg? How about a broken neck to go with it?
You know what happens next.
Joker: And now, my sour-faced flying rodent, let's put a smile on that puss.
Joker takes out his pink toxic spray can and was about to spray it on Batman when he saw two familiar beings and decides to leave.
Joker: Such a beautiful moment can't be rushed. Don't go cheering without me.
Yellow Lantern and Regime Hawkgirl found Batman.
Yellow Lantern: Been a while.
Hawkgirl (Regime): On your feet. Let's go.
Batman: I don't think so, Hawkgirl.
Yellow Lantern punches Batman in the face as she and Yellow Lantern prepare to take off, carrying him.
Joker was hiding behind a building.
Joker: I forgot my camera. I could've gotten 10 million hits.
He sees Regime Hawkgirl and Yellow Lantern flying away with Batman.
Joker: I miss him already. Now where was I before I was so rudely--
Woman: Pumped full of lead?
Joker turns around to see a familiar face.
Joker: Harley?
Harley (Insurgent): Harleen. A little bird told me that a creep dressed like the Joker fighting a Batman wannabe. You got the looks, and a lot of nerve. What you don't have is the right.
Harley keeps poking what appears to be a sawed-off double-barreled shotgun.
Harley (Insurgent): Joker was a hero. You're not fit to lick his boutonniere.
What the hell is a boutonniere?
Joker: Harley, it's me, the Joker. Look, it says her on my underwear.
Harley was not amused and fires her shotgun.
Harley: Not funny, creep. No one pretend to be Mr. J!
You should also know what happens next.
Joker: Have we calmed down?
Harley (Insurgent): It's you... the way you...
Joker: Pummel?
Harley (Insurgent): Well... yeah.
Joker: It's the love. You can feel the love, right?
Harley (Insurgent): Joker's dead, but...
Joker: This isn't my Gotham, Harley, but I am the the Joker, my dear. Am I your Joker, Harley?
Harley feels lovestruck just like the original Harley.
Harley (Insurgent): PUDDIN'!
She takes his hand.
Harley (Insurgent): C'mon. There's some people who gotta meet you.
Joker and Harley strolling away together. I'm thinking the original Harley Quinn would not be so pleased if she was in his universe as well.
At Stryker's Island, Batman is seen tied up from arms and legs. Yellow Lantern moved his mask and utility belt. He called Regime Superman and inform him of Batman's capture
Yellow Lantern: Ok, Bruce. Ready for visitors? Want a call?
Regimes Superman and Wonder Woman appears. Regime Superman uses his eyes to scan Batman's vitals.
Wonder Woman (Regime): Nice work, Hal...
Superman (Regime): It's not him.
Yellow Lantern: What?
Superman (Regime): His DNA matches Bruce Wayne's, but his vitals are all wrong.
Regime Superman stepped closer to Batman.
Superman (Regime): You're one of the duplicates. Tell me why you're here.
Meanwhile, Joker makes his approach at Joker Asylum. As he looks around, he is proud of what he sees. Joker is standing on top of the stage at the abandon Arkam Asylum Mess Hall where Harleen and the Joker Clan are cheering for Joker and hearing his speech. Far in the back Ash and Chucky stare at Koker on disgust.
Chucky: There's the son-of-a-bitch who said I wasn't even scary!
Ash Williams: Well, it's true.
Chucky: Take that back, you little sh*!
Ash Williams: I'm pretty sure you're the little one.
The Joker: I love what you've done with the place. Arkham has never looked better.[The crowd cheers for him while Harleen claps for him.]Dear members of the Joker Clan... You know the truth about the Metropolis Incident. Superman killed those people. Then he tried to kill me.[The crowd starts booing and shows thumbs down about this matter]I admire the work you've done in my name...Disturbances... distractions... General pains in Superman's buttocks.[Some of the members start to laugh about it]But let's think bigger...
Insurgency Harley Quinn[love-struck]Ain't he dreamy...
[Joker moves away from the podium and blows a kiss at Harleen and continues the speech]
Joker: Harley tells me Superman made this pill for his thugs. Then Bat-Boy's Insurgents got some. Now we have them too.[shows out the pill]With these a bus can fall on us and we won't be hurt! Slapstick at its finest![The crowd cheers as Joker takes the pill and swallows it. Joker then kneels down and asks them to be silence before he finishes his speech.]From now on we'll be more than a nuisance. The barking dog will become the rampaging elephant. The whoopie cushion, a land mine! The joker...a king!
The crowd starts to cheer for him until the walls of Arkham Asylum break down as Regime soldiers come down shooting everyone. Joker manages to sucker punch one of the soldiers and toss him down the stage. Suddenly another Regime soldier appears and shoots at Joker but to Joker's surprise he is still alive, uninjured.
Joker: I should be dead! Thanks happy pill!
Ash Williams: Well, this should be interesting. I don't really kill peole but this will be new.
Chucky: I'm just doing this to be the most popular spasher in history.
As Joker grabs the soldier's gun to hit him back, Regime Hawkgirl and Regime Nightwing enter in the fray. However, Nightwing does not see Joker and runs pass him while joinning the fight but Hawkgirl notices him and grabs him up in the air. Harleen tries to saves Joker by shooting her down but Hawkgirl is too high for her to get hit. With no other choice, Harleen takes out a device that she receives from Insurgent Batman and press it to call for reinforcements.
Regime Hawkgirl: Back from the grave? Should kept that suit buried.
The Joker: It's not my Sunday best, but it's comfortable... and functional.[An acid squirt comes out from his boutonniere and hits Hawkgirl's face. She drops The Joker and they prepare to fight]
Regime Hawkgirl: I'm gonna enjoy giving you to Superman.
The Joker: Oh, not tonight, dear. You have a headache.[They fight and The Joker wins]Lovely girl, if you can get past the feathers.[Patting his knife on his hands, Joker decides to cut her wings off. Just then, Regime Nightwing notices him after taking down one of the Joker Clan members.]
Regime Nightwing: Joker![Before Joker manages to cut her wings, he is knocked away by Nightwing's Batarang. Joker then decides to use his playing cards.]
The Joker: Pick a card![Joker tosses his cards at Regime Nightwing and they explode after multiple cards connect to him. However, Nightwing does not give up.]
Regime Nightwing: Jokers die here![he runs towards the Joker again, but the Joker continues tossing cards at him and exploding them, forcing him to back away]I'LL KILL YOU, CLOWN BOY!![he runs towards the Joker again, but the Joker continues tossing cards at him and exploding them, forcing him to back away. Then, the Joker tosses the remaining cards, but this time, Nightwing dodges and gets close to the Joker]
The Joker: So the Bat-Brat joined Superman... Tell me: Who's boots are tastier to lick?
Regime Nightwing: Batman's a criminal. Just like you.
The Joker: Nothing like me.
Regime Nightwing: So you're a hero where you come from?
The Joker: Oh no, dear boy. It's just that Batman corrupts young minds. While I... bash them out of their skulls.[they fight, and the Joker wins]I'll have to tell Batman... there's been a death in the family.[Joker is about to kill Regime Nightwing but he is interrupted by Insurgent Batman and the Prime Heroes' arrival. Regime Hawkgirl (who happens to wake up during Joker's battle) is battling one of the Joker Clan's members is surprised by this and gets a couple of hits by Aquaman. Unable to fight back, she decides to retreat while flying towards Regime Nightwing's side.]
Regime Hawkgirl: We're outnumbered! Let's go![She takes her gun and shoots above and retreats from above while carrying the unconscious Nightwing; leaving an angry Joker unable to kill them both while he had the chance. Once everything settles down, while the Joker clan tries to regroup and helping the survivors, Insurgent Batman and Wonder Woman meet up with Harleen, whose emergency device is still on.]
Insurgency Batman: You can turn that off now.
Insurgency Harley Quinn[she does so]Thanks for the assist, Bats.[Suddenly, Joker walks casually towards them while putting his hands onto Harleen as the thers are not pleased to see him]
The Joker: Hi gang! What'll we do now? Anyone up for pancakes?
Wonder Woman[angrily]Joker![she holds him]
The Joker: What. Ow! Why does she hate pancakes?
Insurgency Batman: What are you playing at, Harleen? What's he doing here?
Insurgency Harley Quinn: Mister J can be a big help to us-
Chucky and Ash Williams walk towards the group.
Chucky: What would this terrible cosplayer of a clown possibly offer help in?
Wonder Woman: Wait! You two were also in Metropolis with Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, Ghostface, and Pennywise!
Ash Williams: That's right, missy. I hope I can teach Hockey Guy and Christmas-Sweaterman a lesson when I see them again.
Green Arrow: So you came on our little field trip...
Aquaman: And I'm guessing he didn't arrive alone. Where's Batman?
The Joker[about the alternate Batman]There's one. Right there![Unamused, Wonder Woman pulls his arm again, paining him.
Insurgency Batman: Your eyes. Pure evil. Just like his.
The Joker: Who? Superman? His flying friends took Batman. My Batman. Our. Batman.
Insurgency Batman: Quiet! Or I'll cuff you and leave you for the police.
The Joker: Then why did you save me from them?[gets his arm pulled up again by Wonder Woman]Ow!
Green Lantern: Batman's been captured. We gotta bust him out.
Insurgency Batman: To free your Batman, we need to complete our mission."
Insurgency Harley Quinn: Oh! I love a good mission!
Insurgency Batman: Negative. You and your clan lay low. You're a target now.[he then turns to Joker and grabs him from Diana]And you're too dangerous to run free. More of them will be here soon. Go. I'll catch up with you.
The Joker[while being dragged away by Insurgent Batman]I don't like you.
Wonder Woman: Wait a minute. You two plus the five at the base is 7. Rhat just leaves the one with the chainsaw. Where is he?
Chucky: Hell if I know. He came over here with us but he just dissapeared.
Ash Williams: Yeah. Leatherface is a very strange and insane guy.
Back at the Prime Dimension, Superman, Flash and Cyborg are in the Watchtower finally found their missing teammates at the meeting hall.
Superman: So you found them. A parallel dimension...Now how do wet get there?
The Flash: We don't. We pull them here.
Superman: No risk to an away team... Good. Still the same problem, though...How do we do it?
Cyborg: With this.[clicks one of the controls and a screen pops up showing a 3D device.]
The Flash: We're gonna modify my Cosmic Treadmill. Pull them all back at once.[Superman nods in agreement]
Cyborg:We've got some work to do.
Back at the Injustice Universe, somewhere in Metropolis, Insurgent Luthor is standing on the rooftop looking at the full moon above while Insurgent Deathstroke, who is in full armor, walk towards him.
Insurgency Lex Luthor: Beautiful. Isn't it?
Insurgency Deathstroke: The moon? Or it's light shining off your bald head?
Insurgency Lex Luthor: I'm pleased you wanted to meet. You're finally ready to join our little club?
Insurgency Deathstroke: Bussiness is bad. Being hunted is worse.
Insurgency Lex Luthor: After so many refusals... why now?
Insurgency Deathstroke[short pause]They made it personal.
