ROSE POV
Several hours later, it was dark and Dimitri suggested we find a place to stay for the night. It was another small motel. We ordered pizza, not wanting to risk being seen in public. While we waited, I insisted that Dimitri shower first since he still had dried blood on his face and arm.
Dimitri hadn't asked for my steele back, and it weighed softly in my right pocket. In my left was my pocket sized, abbreviated, Shadowhunter Codex. With nothing else to do, I pulled it out and opened it, flipping through the pictures of runes to see if any of them might be useful. After some time, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dimitri walk out of the bathroom. He'd just gotten out of the shower and the thought of him made my blood warm, so I didn't turn around.
I didn't have to. "What is that?" he asked, standing near me. I turned toward the sound of his voice to see him toweling his wet hair.
"It's the Shadowhunter Codex."
He casually tossed the towel onto the chair nearby and came to sit beside me on the edge of the bed. "May I see it?" I passed the codex to his hands and he lightly shifted through the pages, like he was afraid they might fall apart. I watched his face and tried to pick out the emotions I saw there, but they were small manifestations and fleeting. "Have you been learning about all of this?" He looked at me and I swam in his warm eyes.
"Yea. I don't know much, but Alex's been teaching me." He had that strange look on his face again, and I tried to think of what could have caused it. Was he upset that Alex was teaching me? Was he upset that I was part Shadowhunter? If either of those things, why? Could he be jealous? Of Alex? Did he think Alex could take his place? Did he feel inadequate? Shadowhunters considered themselves better than the rest of us. I frowned. "What's wrong?"
He hesitated. "Nothing. So much has changed, that's all." What was that supposed to mean?
"What do you mean?"
"We've been through so much. In such a short span of time. I'm different. You're different."
No. "I'm still the same person. You're still the same person." But were we? I desperately wanted to be.
He shook his head sadly and tucked a stray strand of hair from my face, then trailed his hand lightly across my cheek. I sat perfectly still, afraid the slightest movement would break him out of his trance. "You're a Shadowhunter now. You'll be going through a different kind of training. You'll probably move into the Institute-" Why was this a problem? Why was any of this a problem? He should be glad. He'll be rid of me if I moved to the Institute.
My voice was small and strained and I looked directly in his eyes. "I don't want to live in the Institute." I don't want to leave you. What I wanted was my life back.
He closed the codex and sat it on the nightstand beside him. Without noticing it, my breathing slowed as I stared at him in what was a rare view. His shirt was a tank top. I could see so much of his skin, unmarked by runes. His damp hair slightly curled at the ends. I felt myself move toward him just enough so that when he turned back around, we were only a couple of inches apart. His breath caught and he swallowed.
"Roza," he breathed, then reached out and grabbed my arms firmly, holding me out from him. "Don't."
"Dimitri-"
"Don't," he repeated, this time more firmly, his face impassive. Had I imagined his feelings? Everything he did confused me lately, everything he said.
DIMITRI POV
That should have been the end of it, but I'd been afraid it might happen again, so I stood up and told her, "Rose. You've got to let this go." I think I was talking more to myself than her. Wasn't I the one who kept touching her?
She looked hurt. "Let what go?"
I steeled myself for my response. It had to be clear. I couldn't leave her with any doubt. If I did, she wouldn't be able to move on. "This. Us. It's not going to happen."
"Who the hell said it was?" She was angry, but I couldn't say for sure why. Was she mad that I hurt her? Was she mad at the presumption?
"Just so we're clear."
"Crystal, Comrade." she snapped.
We didn't talk after that.
The next morning, when we were packing to leave, someone knocked on the door and I became instantly alert. Rose went to the door, but I pulled her behind me instinctively and looked through the peep hole. It was Alex. Reluctantly, I opened the door.
"Alex!" Rose was shocked to see him, so she hadn't told him where we were. I couldn't tell from her face if it was a good or bad surprise.
"Can we talk?" he asked, looking around her at me. Annoyed, I took the hint and told Rose I was going out to get coffee.
ROSE POV
"What are you doing here?" I wasn't mad, just surprised.
His tone implied that he thought the answer was obvious and he walked toward me as he spoke, coming to stand very close to me. "I wanted to help you, and I can't do much of that if I can't talk to you." I wanted to ask why, but then I guessed I already knew why. He loved me.
So instead I asked, "How did you find me?"
"Tracking spell." He walked away from me and sat on the bed, his eyes staring intensely at me. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to do this? Why didn't you take me with you? I could have helped you."
"I'm going to be in major trouble with the Clave, and if I'd told you, you would be too." It was true. Not the whole truth, but not a lie.
"I don't care."
"I do. I care about you." I just don't trust you.
"I don't understand you, Rose."
I walked over and sat by him. Looking at his blue eyes, I could see him struggling with some emotion, and I wondered if I could grow to love him. What reason did I have not to trust him? That he was a Shadowhunter? So was I. He was attractive. He was nice. And he loved me. Dimitri had hurt me last night, and I wanted that hurt to go away. If he wanted me to move on, I would move on. I leaned toward Alex, not unlike I had done to Dimitri the night before, and he brought his face to mine, brushing his lips against mine, hesitant, unsure. So I leaned into him and kissed him back, desperate. I wasn't sure who it was I was kissing-Alex or Dimitri. His kisses became hungry and I stopped questioning it. Then the door opened and I jerked away.
"Are you ready to-" Dimitri paused and shock passed across his features then went away and his face was blank.
I jumped off the bed and grabbed my bag, not bothering to look back at Alex. The final leg of the drive to Brooklyn was very awkward.
As it turns out, Alex knew Magnus Bane. He contacted him while we were in the car, and he did not seem happy to hear about this. It took quite a bit of persuading before he agreed to meet us at a club called Pandemonium.
"Pandemonium? How fitting." Dimitri more or less mumbled to himself.
"What?"
"Pandemonium is another name for Hell," Alex told me.
I turned around the face him and whatever look I had on my face seemed to amuse him. "We're going to a club named after Hell? Great."
"Eh. It's not that bad. Magnus keeps the place pretty clear of scum-for the most part. And when you do find one...good times." He was in a much better mood than he had been lately. It was refreshing. His stuffy attitude was suffocating. I much preferred his playful side. "Before we go, though, we need to change clothes. You're going to stick out in your Wal-Mart gear." I glared at him.
Alex said it would be easier not to drive into town, and I quickly saw why. There were cars everywhere barely moving and honking incessantly. After Alex helped Dimitri find a place to park, he took the lead to get us to the "El", walking briskly through the throngs of people. Everyone looked like they were in a hurry to get somewhere and they thought nothing of bumping into you. It occurred to me that New York might be a good place to disappear. He had us hop off at Times Square to shop and change clothes and hop back on to Brooklyn. There were so many stops, so many people, so many lights, so many advertisements, the whole place was alive. It was all disorienting for me, having never been to a city this big. I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for Dimitri, being from a small town in Siberia. I kept looking at his face to gauge his reaction, but it remained neutral as usual.
When we finally got in the club, it was loud and dark with flashing lights. Downworlders of all kinds pulsed to the beat of the wordless music, bumping into each other, bumping into me. I would have preferred not to be wearing a dress, in case I had to fight, but Alex said no one wears jeans in those places. I refused to wear heels and settled for black patent boots, a choice I would be very glad for later. Honestly, it seemed the change of clothes was useless. We stuck out to a certain degree anyway both because of Alex's runes, marking him as a Shadowhunter, and Dimitri's...commanding presence.
We entered into a curtained room where a very glittery, flamboyant warlock sat sprawled out on a plush purple couch, one arm on the back of the couch, the ankle of his right leg resting on his left knee. Seeing us, he gestured to the black couch across from him and we sat. Alex made himself comfortable, laying back on the couch. Dimitri and I sat on the edge of the couch, tense and prepared for trouble.
"Shadowhunter, Little Dhampir, Scary Dhampir...what can I do for you?" he asked, looking to us with yellowish eyes slitted like a cat's. I would be "little dhampir," forever underestimated. This was my great escape, and thus far I'd spent more time as a lieutenant than a general.
"We need your help," I said.
"Well, yes, I knew that part," Magnus said, making a tent with his hands.
"We need a safe haven."
"Yes. But why do you think I would provide such a thing, if I could?"
Alex jumped in, "I know you can. What's your price?"
"Let's see. The big one there is the only dhampir to have come back from being Strigoi, and not just any Strigoi. Quite an infamous one, in certain circles." His eyes moved to me. "Your lovely female friend is wanted for the murder of the queen of the Moroi, among other small crimes." Then his eyes shifted back to Alex. "My price, little Shadowhunter? You couldn't afford it."
I don't know why I had thought this would work. I started to get up to leave when a thought occurred to me. "You're a warlock. I'm guessing you'd be interested in how exactly Dimitri was changed back. I'm the one who did it, if you haven't heard. And that's not the only thing I can do. I can do things even you haven't seen before."
Magnus laughed. "Spunky little dhampir. You are interesting." He put both his feet on the floor and leaned forward. "I can keep you hidden, at least temporarily. You do have a plan, I assume, besides hiding? I won't house you forever."
"Of course I have a plan," I lied.
"Where are we going?" Dimitri spoke for the first time.
Magnus turned to Dimitri in surprise. "It speaks. You should do so more often. Your accent is quite charming." He turned to me and added, "How are you resisting that one?"
I was a little embarrassed at the mention of Dimitri and me, and I knew Dimitri was very uncomfortable, so I repeated a version of his question. "Where are you taking us?"
Magnus handed me a card with an address on it. "I won't be seen leaving with you. Meet me there in five hours."
"That's the middle of the night!" I protested.
Magnus raised an eyebrow. Man, could everyone but me do that? "Do you want my help or not?"
Before I could reply, Dimitri said, "We'll be there" and got up to leave.
