Black and White
Chapter 9
xXx
The red-head smirked at me before stepping on my pants and taking them off in one fluid motion. "H-hey! Don't lose my pants!" They were all I had left of home… He snorted.
"I'll retrieve them, once you let go." I flushed, loosening my grip before letting go. I watched Axel as he disappeared into the water, fascinated by his grace as he swam underneath, his long wild hair flowing like the water. Once he surfaced, I didn't even look at my pants that he'd retrieved, looking at his face instead. I heard a wet thud as he threw them next to his clothes, but was lost in his stare, unable to look away.
"Axel, why don't you ever braid your hair?" I asked, blushing immediately after. I hadn't even thought about asking that, so why had I? He blinked at me dumbly. He hadn't seen it coming either.
"What?"
"I just think it'd look nice…" He shook his head, looking bothered.
"I just… don't." I barely caught what he said next as he turned away. "…not anymore."
"Axel?" The red-head shook his head.
"I'm getting out." I watched him as he grasped the edge and pulled himself out with ease. I tried to too, wanting to get out as well, but couldn't pull myself up and fell back in. I tried again and as I began to fall again, hands grasped mine, pulling me up and out.
"T-thanks," I murmured as I regained my footing. The red-head nodded and I watched as he sat down. His hair was plastered to his back, curling slightly at the ends as he turned his head to the side. I was puzzled by his abrupt change in behavior hesitating before I sat next to him. "Are you alright, Axel?" He turned to me.
"Fine."
"Are you?"
"All you need to worry about is yourself." I glanced away. "I don't need anyone to be concerned about me or to try to take care of me."
"You're cruel, expecting me not to feel anything for you and not feeling anything for me when you do such intimate things to me."
"You're the one that agreed to our arrangement. You have no room to complain."
"So, if I don't want you to protect me anymore, I can leave and you can't complain?" Our eyes locked.
"That's what you want?" I hesitated. "You don't like me touching you?" he whispered, his pale fingers gently touching my face. My mind blanked as I got lost in his stare again. He hummed and turned away, letting his hand drop. I immediately protested. He turned back to me.
"I just… want you to care."
"I'm not going to pretend to care for you, because I don't. I don't expect you to like it."
"Fine," I whispered, turning from him. We sat in silence for a long time. I was determined not to acknowledge him or his presence even though I'd begun to get cold and had started to shiver and wanted to leave. Hands grasped my shoulders and I froze. "What are you doing?" Axel pulled me to himself.
"You're shivering." I tried to ignore his warm body.
"I thought you didn't care." I froze as his face nuzzled against my neck.
"I care that you aren't very useful to me if you get chilled, become ill, and die," he whispered in my ear. I couldn't stop the shudder that racked my body just like I couldn't ignore that I wanted him to hold me.
"Axel…"
"Come here and warm up, stubborn child." I blushed then looked back at him, watching as he let go and lay down in the sunlight. He opened his arms to me and I didn't hesitate, crawling into them. They closed around me and my head rested against his chest, my body curling to him. It felt so nice… but I couldn't forget what he'd said to me. Nonetheless, I allowed myself to relax and drift off. He needed me for some reason or another, and I knew he wouldn't let anything bad happen to me because of it.
xXx
I worked on my newest project, so happy that everything I needed to be artistic was available here. It helped to distract me and kept me from feeling so homesick. I made a few more minor adjustments then smiled proudly as I looked it over before signing and dating it. It was finished, finally!
"That's very good." I jumped before staring up at Axel wide-eyed. I hadn't even heard him come up behind me.
"You scared me!" I never heard him when he moved, he was so graceful and poised, and I'd been living with him for a month. He seemed to enjoy shadowing me and seeing what I was doing.
"I'm sorry." His eyes didn't move from the picture. "You draw me a lot. Am I your favorite subject?"
"Well… You are rather good to look at, Axel, and not many things here are." He smiled slowly.
"How sweet of you to say; but you haven't answered me." I laughed.
"Yes. You're my favorite thing here."
"Why do I have such a fond, infatuated look on my face?" I blushed.
"T-that's how you look at me when you don't think I see you." His smile vanished.
"Does it bother you?" My heart began to pound. He hadn't even tried to deny it.
"No." I stared up at him and our eyes locked, needing to tell him something important. "Axel I… I can't forget about how you kissed me."
"Is that bad?"
"No," I breathed, surprised by his answer. "Is that okay?" I asked.
"Perfectly." I smiled, but felt empty as I faced forward. That time, when he'd needed me to kiss him, would probably be the only time he would. I was a little heartbroken at the thought, then closed the sketch book and put it to the side, but stopped when Axel sat beside me on the couch.
"Axel?"
"Can I fill that void in your heart, for you?" My eyes widened as he gently grasped the side of my face. What? Did he mean…? My mind blanked as he leant closer. "You saved my life. You can kiss me whenever you'd like." My hands shook as they buried themselves into his hair.
"What else can I do to you?"
"What do you want to do to me?" I glanced away, unsure.
"I want you to kiss me." Axel didn't hesitate and closed the space between us, molding his lips to mine. I gently tugged his hair and kissed him back, applying pressure until he opened his mouth. Our tongues entwined again and again, each of us delving into the other's mouth, teasing and tasting. Then, he grasped either side of my face and pulled me closer, making sure I couldn't go anywhere and not breaking our connection until I submitted to him. I panted as I stared up at him, more aroused than I should have been from a mere kiss. "A-Axel…" He bit my lower lip sensually and I moaned, hoping he wouldn't make fun of me because of it.
"Yes?"
"You didn't have to do that, you know…"
"I know." He brushed his nose against mine. "I wanted to." I blushed, wondering why someone as beautiful as he was would want to do that to someone like me.
xXx
I woke. Axel's arms were still wrapped around me. I looked up at him. He was sleeping soundly. I studied him; I'd never seen him truly asleep before now.
He was cruel but very fascinating to me at the same time. No matter what he did, I couldn't put a damper on the feelings that I had for him and it scared me. He'd never feel a thing for me… and I'd just let him do whatever he wanted and I knew it. I closed my eyes. Perhaps… I just needed to get away from him, before it would hurt too much to let him go. Maybe I could work for someone he despised… and he'd leave me alone. I already knew that it was foolish to be with him, because in the end all I would be was hurt.
He stirred and I pushed the things I was thinking about out of my mind. He couldn't know that I'd been thinking that. The arms that were holding me squeezed more tightly and I froze. It felt nice. Hesitantly I opened my eyes, relaxing a bit. He was still asleep. I stared up at him for a long moment. He was so beautiful… but I knew that it wasn't enough. I knew that I had to leave. His head tossed from side to side as if he were having a bad dream and so I grasped his shoulder and shook him until he jolted awake, his pupils were blown wide, they were so dilated. Then he calmed, looking into my eyes. Hands grasped either side of my face.
"I need you."
"What?" I asked. Kissing me was his answer and I froze. He didn't even care if I wanted to or not. When he finally pulled back I turned from him. Maybe he's hungry… I frowned. That's all I was to him. Food. "Too bad."
"What?"
"I don't need this! I don't want this! I don't want-" I stopped midsentence, mind blanking, as fingers pressed against where he'd entered my body a mere week ago.
"What's 'this'?" I gasped as one slipped deep inside. "Is it this?" I didn't answer and he brushed it against that spot that made my mind blank, making me writhe. "Or this?" he asked, slipping in another and then thrusting into it hard. I shuddered, biting my lower lip to hold back a moan. His free hand grasped my chin, bringing my face close to his as the other kept thrusting in and out. "How about this?" he whispered, just before he kissed me fiercely. I moaned into his mouth, grinding against him without thinking and loving the delicious friction. "Or this," he breathed against my lips before kissing his way down my neck. Just as he began to bite and suckle, he thrust against me, and I moaned, completely losing my mind.
"A-a-all of i-it," I barely managed before moaning again and again. Our eyes locked.
"Again, your body's begging to differ, Roxas." I scoffed at him.
"There's more to me than my body and what it wants!"
"Then why did you say that you wanted 'this' last time?" he whispered in my ear. "That you wanted me?" I blushed furiously.
"I don't… know…"
"Oh, but you do. You said it because you wanted it, just like you still do. You might not need it, but you want it, right down to your very core." I swallowed. I didn't want him to be right, but I knew that he was and it terrified me because I didn't even understand why I wanted him so badly.
"A-Axel…" The red-head gently turned my face toward himself.
"You do want this. I can see it in your eyes." I trembled. "But you're afraid of me," he breathed against my lips.
"I'm afraid… because I don't understand myself anymore," I whispered back. Axel smirked slowly.
"It's natural, being curious because of something new and being afraid of not knowing exactly how to handle it." He gently rubbed my lower lip with his thumb and I closed my eyes. "It will be alright. Just accept it and give in to what feels good."
I didn't say anything, letting him kiss me again.
xXx
-TBC-
A/n: Love it? Hate it? Let me know? Thanks!
