Chapter 9

Authors note: I've decided to try my hand at writing in first person for the next couple of chapters. I hope that this doesn't interfere with how the story is panning out. I've had heaps of people read it so far, but as yet no reviews. I'd love to get some feedback!

Danielle

'Dani'. The sound of my name being called broke me from my reverie. Thoughts and memories of John faded to the background of my mind, and I turned to face my friend. 'Sorry Sam, I was miles away'. I felt my face flushed with heat and hoped that it did not betray my thoughts. 'I was saying that I need to go down to the lab to collect the latest data reports in from the forensic labs.' Standing from her seated position in front of her desk, she was a picture of professionalism. She had donned the standard attire of a scientist: long flowing white lab coat, hair pulled back in a neat bun and tortoise shell spectacles that perched neatly at the end of her nose. There was an air about Samantha that had always made me feel slightly uncomfortable. It was as if she made no effort in her beauty and grace and I could not help but feel dowdy when I compared myself to her. 'I'll be gone roughly twenty minutes' she was saying. 'If you hear from Pinky, let me know ok?'

I was too restless to remain sitting at my desk, and the crazy sudden urge to run overwhelmed. It was as if my skin had suddenly tightened and I wanted to desperately shed it. I was a rational person by nature and it frustrated me that after five years I was still as much affected by the thought of John as I'd been in my college years. The sudden ringing of the phone startled me and with adrenaline racing through my veins I picked up the receiver. 'Hey sexy'. Guilt rode me as I realized that I'd given no thought in the last hour to Geoff. His deep and soothing voice did nothing to calm my nerves. 'Hi Geoff'. 'You ok?' His concern did nothing to appease my feelings of deceit. 'I'm fine, and you?' There was a pause at the other end of the phone, and I pictured him nursing the receiver between his chin and his shoulder while he worked. 'You sound funny. You sure you're ok?' It was one aspect of our relationship that frustrated me enormously. I was an independent woman who prided myself on being able to handle things myself, and Geoff, by nature was the kind of man that most women would have loved. If there was a problem, he wanted to solve it, if I was depressed; he wanted to make me feel better. The problem was Geoff didn't know when to back off. I loved him as much as I could love any man that wasn't John. 'Geoff, I'm fine. Just really busy right now' I hoped that he would take the hint. 'I heard that the RRTS is on the way' His voice took on a petulant tone and I didn't have the strength to offer him meaningless words in order to sooth his ego. I had never lied to him about my feelings. I did not believe in offering false hope or sweet nothings when they did not exist. Geoff knew about John. Perhaps it was the nature of a man wounded to want to prove that he was worthy of being first in the eyes of a woman. Whatever the case, he had always accepted that my heart was not whole and that a part of it would always live elsewhere. 'It's protocol in a situation like this Geoff' I offered. 'Why don't we meet up in the cafeteria for lunch?' he countered. I ended the conversation after assuring him that I'd let him know what my plans were closer to the time. For the next hour I worked at my computer and for the briefest amount of time I forgot about the events that had happened and the ones that would no doubt soon take place. My fingers maintained a steady pace on the keyboard until the sound of the nano-wall being engaged caught my attention. Walking through it like a whirling dervish, her coat billowing out behind her like a superhero, Samantha strode to her desk with determination. I was alerted instantly that something had either gone wrong, or was about to. 'What happened?' I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. 'They're here'. Keeping my face neutral I returned to the work in front of me. The screen in front of me was a blur and it took all my strength to slow down my mind and concentrate on the words in front of me. 'Hopefully they'll resolve whatever the problem is quickly', the words were calm and belied the flurry of emotions inside of me. I could feel her eyes on me and for not the first time wondered what she was thinking. 'Aren't you nervous?' The words stopped me cold. Perhaps she knew I thought. Maybe he'd told her. Did it matter? I asked myself. The answer was most definitely 'no'. 'Why would I be nervous Sam? I spoke into the screen in front of me. I knew that if I was to look at her right now she would see everything written clearly on my face. My only chance of nonchalance now was to appear calm and collected. She seemed to re-gather herself, shook her head and mumbled something under her breath. The conversation had ended and my relief was immense.

Reaper

'How longs it been?'

I did not need to look at him to know what he referred to. Keeping my eyes averted I replied: 'Five years'. Over the years that I had spent in the RRTS and under the command of Sarge, I had found him to be a strong leader, a fearless combatant, and a loyal friend. 'You sure their still even up there?' A lump had formed in my throat and I nodded in answer. 'Guess you have to face your demons sometimes'.

At that particular moment I could not help but see the irony of my situation. Over my time in the marines I had faced evil in many shapes and forms, always with nerves of steel. Goat had commented more than once that my name was more appropriate than I realised. 'You have no fear of death my friend' he had said on more than once occasion. Yet here I sat, surrounded by seven other marines, each one armed to the teeth and inside I was a wreck. Many emotions warred for place in my mind and my chest. I hoped that Samantha and Dani were ok. I wanted to see them, hold them, and protect them. I wanted to tell them how much they meant to me. Yet I wanted to scream at them, lash at in any way I could. I still felt betrayed by Sam's choice and if I was honest, I wanted to hurt her for what she had put me through. And Dani, I loved her still. But right at that particular moment I had an almost uncontrollable urge to hurt her and make her suffer for what she had done to me. Over the last five years I had painted a picture of her in my head as she had been on our one night together. The hurt that I had felt on waking alone in my bed to find her gone had festered inside me until I could hardly breathe from the pressure it placed on my heart. Suddenly, I was possessed with a powerful urge to hunt, to kill, to shed blood.

Hope this chapter wasn't too difficult for people to follow. Feedback would be great.