Please note that the world of Harry Potter belongs to Rowling, therefore I take no credit in it or the characters I use for this fanfic.

Note: There acually was a man named Frederick Black Sr., I noticed him when I googled the name. Apparently he died last year, he was a police officer, therefore I let him be an Auror in my story. For some reason this made me feel really sad..

Remus woke up that night. The moon was tugging at his bones, asking him to remember who he was. What he was. He slid out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping Sirius, and softly walked across the floor, stepping over the floorboards he instinctively knew would creak.

As he walked the dark corridors lined with portraits of sleeping people, he let a small sob escape him, and he could only think of one place to go too; the library. Somehow, he had always felt safe when he was surrounded by books, like they at least couldn't hurt him (unless someone, like James Potter for example, threw them at him), and he liked the feeling of knowing you're surrounded by happy stories about happy people, like there was at least some happiness in the world. And besides, there is nothing better than a good book to take your mind off horrible things, that was the motto Remus pretty much lived by.

As he closed the door behind him to the library Sirius had let appear when he missed Remus the most, Remus leaned his back against the door slowly sliding down the ebony surface until he was seated on the floor in a big tangle of arms and legs, now shaking heavily from the muffled sobs. He didn't want to believe it, he didn't want it to be true. He had felt the tugging a few nights ago, but he thought he was just delirious from his recent activities with Sirius.

But this time he was absolutely sure it was the moon, forcing him to remember the countless times he'd already transformed, and all the worst times when James was dead, Sirius was in prison and Peter was gone, when he'd been just a lonely werewolf who missed his pack, who thought it was his fault they had disappeared and therefore had punished himself severely. He didn't want to think about it, but the moon gave him no choice. He didn't want to think about the brutality of it all, and he certainly didn't want to think about the fact that it would happen again.

After a while Remus moved to the window sill and glared up at the moon. It just seemed so unfair. Why couldn't he get to be normal again, after a lifetime of suffering? Why did the stupid curse have to follow him even after he had died? And why did it have to ruin his perfect existance with Sirius? Why couldn't the wolf just leave him alone? Those where the thoughts rushing through his mind when he looked up on the orb he had once loved watching, once upon a time when he was a little child, blissfully unaware of the cruelty of the real world.

Remus felt the wolf stir deep inside him at the sight of the moon, the moon that was about a week from full. He could almost hear it howling in the back of his mind. He felt stupid for somehow believing that even if the wolf was still there, he wouldn't have to transform anymore. He had wanted to believe it so much, that finally he had believed it, even though there was proof against him. Because he felt the wolf, he felt it in every move he made, in every breath he took and in every single word he spoke. The wolf was a part of him as much as he was a part of the wolf, and however much it pained him to admit it, a part he would greatly miss if he lost it. But still, it was so terribly, utterly unfair that he would have to live with this curse even after his life had ended!

In a sudden fit of anger, Remus pulled out a random book from the nearest bookcase and threw it at the opposite wall, so hard that a very old painting of Frederick Black Sr. almost fell off the wall, and the poor old man woke up with a loud cry and started shouting offensive insults at Remus, who barely even noticed the man. The book had left a big hole in the emerald green wallpaper, and Remus got one more reminder of his werewolf strength.

This act of anger showed much about Remus' frustration, because he never got aggressive. Depressed, yes, but never aggressive. Such was Remus' nature, but this just felt like more than he could handle. Right now he just wanted Sirius to hold him, but he couldn't bring himself to put any more weight on Sirius' already so hunched shoulders. He knew his lover had carried so many burdens when he was alive, and he knew that his Sirius was probably the strongest man he had ever known.

After a while of silent thinking and reflecting over life's cruelty, when the sun almost peeked above the horizon, Remus slowly started to make his way towards the bedroom again. The corridors were now flooded with a light pink light from the rising sun, and the red paint lookeed even brighter. He walked slowly through the halls and dragged his fingertips along the walls. Deep inside the walls he could feel the pure evil that had once lived here, but it was overshadowed by the light and energy of Sirius' spirit. Sirius was truly the master of this house, nobody could deny that, Remus thought to himself. When he got back to bed he carefully slid in next to Sirius, who stirred a little and put his arm around Remus, and Remus found that that was all the comfort he needed to finally drift off to a heavy sleep again.

When he woke up he found he was alone in the bedroom, and he felt a hint of Sirius' favourite perfume hanging in the air. He made his way to the window and peeked behind the curtains, only to be blinded by the striking sunlight bashing in. Remus grunted and started to follow Sirius' scent.

After a while of searching, Remus had grown very confused. It appeared Sirius had walked around the house without entering any rooms, just goin around in a peculiar pattern, until finally, the trace ended at the kitchen door. And surely enough, when Remus entered the kitchen, Sirius was sitting there dressed in a red silk robe that looked increadibly expensive, eating a piece of toast with melted jelly on it. The crumbs fell on his otherwise so neat robe when he chewed, but he didn't seem to care.

"What way did you take to the kitchen?" Sirius asked in a voice that almost managed to sound nonchalant.

"Your scent lead me in circles and loops and crosses and Merlin only knows what. What exactly have you been doing this morning? Remus demanded.

"Testing my theory," he answered simply.

"Testing your theory? What teory? "

"My theory, that you've still got the wolf inside of you. I'm sure of that now. Don't you think I noticed you were missing for several hours last night?" this time Sirius almost glared at Remus. "What exactly did you do? I want to know. And I know you're upset, so there's no point in lying to me. That poor Frederick chap down in the library said you almost made his painting fall from the wall last night."

"I.. I'm sorry.. It's just.. I woke up and I felt the moon tugging at my bones. And I got so upset because I thought... I thought that I had become normal when I died, even though I deep inside knew it wasn't true, because I could feel the wolf all along. But it's just so unfair.. So unfair.." Remus had to sit down on a chair, because he wasn't too sure his legs could hold him up anymore. He buried his face in his hands, leaning on the table. Saying these words to his soulmate felt like the last confession, the last step of finally making them true. He was still a werewolf. He would still have to go through the excruciating transformations once a month. But he also had Padfoot there to help him.

"Remus.. Remus dear, it's okay, it's so very okay to be upset." Sirius moved to hold Remus comfortingly, "I agree, it's very unfair that you should have to still live with this curse. You deserve so much better, you deserve the best this life could ever give you. You're more than just a werewolf, you're human, and don't you ever forget that! Promise me!" Sirius also sounded very upset.

"I.. I promise. Now could I please have some food? I'm starving."

Sirius chuckled, "Of course dear," then he pecked a kiss on Remus' cheek and moved to make Remus some toast, the only thing he could actually manage without setting anything on fire.

The fire in the owen crackled, and Remus found the warmth and the sound very soothing, so when he got his toast, he was completely relaxed again. How could he ever thank this man enough?

After breakfast Remus went to the library to apologize to Frederick Black Sr. for almost knocking his painting off the wall the night before. As he entered the library, several of the portraits in the room started glaring at him. It was obvious Frederick hadn't kept the night's events to himself. Remus decided there was no use in delaying the apology further, so he walked directly up to Frederick's painting.

As he stood in front of the painting, Frederick tried his best not to make any signs of noticing Remus, until Remus cleared his throat whereupon Frederick jumped a little and stared down at Remus with a very firm expression on his face. He fingered a little with his ruffled sleeves, before he finally spoke with an equally firm voice, "Yes?".

"I want to apologize for almost making your painting fall down from the wall last night, it wasn't my intention to hurt you in any way," somehow Remus even managed to sound calm as he spoke.

Frederick seemed to think for a while, before he spoke again, "Apology accepted. Just don't try to knock me down any more times, please." and then he turned and started walking out of his frame.

Remus didn't know why, but before Frederick had disappeared completely, he suddenly yelled "WAIT!"

Frederick's surprised face reappeared on the edge of the painting. "Yes?"

"I.. I'd like to get to know you, sir. You seem like one of the better Blacks, and I would very much like to know another one of Sirius' ancestors." Remus said even though he hadn't really planned to. But it was true, there was something special with this man, he could feel it.

"Well if you'd like to get to know me, I'll tell you. But just because there isn't very much else going on when you're a painting, so even talking to a loopy person like you seems interesting. I was an Auror, back in the days. I loved my work, and I was a very good Auror too. I had a wife and two children, we were happy. But once a month some.. Problems arose. I.." Frederick seemed to doubt whether he should tell Remus this or if he shouldn't, "I'm a werewolf. "

At that moment, Remus felt like time had stopped. Frederick's words were still ringing in his ears an hour later when he had finished his talk with Frederick and went down to one of their living rooms, the largest of them, and found Sirius sitting in the sofa reading a book. He looked very comfortable in that sofa, way too comfortable, so Remus decided to place himself in Sirius' lap to make it a little bit more uncomfortable. And Sirius' lap was the most comfortable place on earth.

"Siri, do you know that Frederick was a werewolf?" Remus asked, as if it was nothing special about that, like he was talking about the weather.

"Yes, infact I do. So you've been talking to him? I was hoping you'd do that. You seem much more cheerful now." Sirius gave Remus a vague smile and tucked some of Remus' hair behind his ear. Then his hand moved down to intertwine with Remus', and then they sat like that for a couple of hours, Sirius reading his book and Remus just thinking.

After all, Sirius' lap was the best place for thinking.