The Sky Sage: Blargh. That's all I got. Thank you Lalalei for your review, you're an absolute sweetheart and I'm glad that you pointed out some major stuff. Because, guess what, you're right. It's not gonna get any better from here.
In other news, I have writer's block currently. Don't worry, I do have a good cushion to keep this going and, who knows, by the time my inspiration comes back, you guys won't even notice, but I'm currently running on an empty faucet. So I'm going to be reading, taking inspiration and writing a few things that are disconnected to this story before getting back to it. 'Cause, believe it or not, this thing is massive. XD;;;
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.
The Butterfly Effect
Chapter IX: Change
For all intents and purposes, change seemed simple enough. The dictionary called it going from one state to another. We changed in and out of clothes and the sheets of our beds every day or every week. It seemed easy enough to induce change and go towards this altered state, to terminate old habits and make new ones.
But when you feel old, when you've built your habits not out of courtesy but out of survival, this change becomes a whole lot harder to initiate.
My rules were simple. Don't trust anyone, not even yourself. Don't connect with anyone because they're going to betray you no matter what. Don't let anyone see your weaknesses or they will exploit them. Never, ever make any friends because they will leave. And last, but not least, the family that you are related to by blood will never, ever come through for you. They will use you for their own selfish needs, fear you because you carry the presence of a person they want out of their lives because they want to forget, and the moment you try to reconnect, they will kick you out because they feel threatened. Those were the rules, the laws that I'd long established before I died. Thanks to them, I had vowed never to have any children of my own, and gotten scared the moment someone came close enough to see me for who I really am, a person who wished to be an angel, yet had destroyed herself in order to achieve the perfect image.
Now my brother of four years was asking me to set part of that aside and rely on him in case anything happened.
It felt impossible. It felt like a huge weight on my shoulder that I didn't know how to get rid of. It felt like a mountain so steep, I would never be able to climb it. I knew that I had to take it slow, to accept that there were moments were I'd just fail and have to start again while knowing that I was going to get frustrated beyond reason. And with the voice at the back of my head telling me that I was right for blocking everyone the moment I fell, part of me wasn't willing to start the climb at all.
Still, I'd said that I would try. I'd said that I would give it a fair chance, if only to keep my brother's trust. I understood the double meaning of his demand too. Carrying the burden I was going to carry was difficult enough, if I started blaming myself for everything that happened along with that, I'd drive myself mad. My brother had already lost his little sister once, I couldn't let that happen again.
And yet, the saying "old habits die hard" had never rung more true. The reasons of my separation with the rest of society had never hit me harder than then.
Nevertheless, seeing Jonouchi and my brother calling each other by their first names, actually treating each other like near brothers, along with watching Anzu and Yuugi whispering to each other like confidants gave me hope. Hope that change was possible. That, somewhere along the line, maybe I was wrong. Maybe, just maybe, there was a place I could put my trust.
But, for now, I just needed to get ready. Get ready for when Yuugi wanted to talk to me, if he ever did, and have answers ready for his questions.
Which they did. It took two weeks, but after the entire group talked about an Egyptian exhibition at the Domino Museum, which sparked a conversation about the Millennium Puzzle and led to Anzu deciding that we would all meet there on Sunday before getting the boys up with a bogus excuse as she gave Yuugi a nod that I couldn't yet understand, but he did by reaching into the pocket of his jacket and putting the Hanged Man onto the table, sliding it towards me. And I met him with a meeting at a local cafe the same night, not asking any questions, and glad that, save for Jonouchi who was quickly distracted by my brother's offer to go to the arcade, none were really done by the rest of the group.
That also meant one thing that I didn't know how to take, though.
Anzu knew. Definitely knew instead of my simple guessing at it for the past two weeks. And my guess was that, by the fact that Anzu was going with them, Jonouchi would soon be in the know himself. This was going to be Shadi's time, if I recalled correctly, and those who had been accompanying Yuugi hadn't known at the time that he carried an ancient spirit. Those events had only come to light during Death T, Kaiba's second passage. We were still rather far from those events, and yet, everyone already knew.
This was going a lot faster than I anticipated.
"I'm sorry it took me so long, but I just couldn't see how I could talk to you. Anzu told me to trust you, though, and I'm glad she did. Only thing I had to do next was convince her to let me see you without being there. Said that she wanted to know how you knew what's been happening to me when even she never saw it until I told her."
And, from Yuugi's words after we ordered our drinks, there was no going back.
I swallowed, "The reason I know is because I saw it. Twice. And felt what I can only qualify as a shield surround me, again twice. So I came to the only logical conclusion, even if the situation defies all logic. Something, and something powerful is taking control of you. And by your reaction, you know about it."
And watched him take a breath before answering, "Yeah, I know. Well, in part, at least. I've been – I've been noticing that I have some... moments where I fall unconscious and wake up in a completely different place without any memory of how I got there in the first place and something – something tends to happen during those moments. Something that usually ends up with someone getting hurt or... worse. That group, the one that were in that puddle, got lucky."
Yuugi had no idea, although I was starting to doubt that he hadn't put it all together. Whenever one of his friends or he was involved, things went dark and crazy. Many had gone nuts at the hands of the spirit, and more hand died or even gotten hurt. Didn't help that some of those deaths were rather "spectacular" for lack of a better word.
"But that still doesn't explain how you can help me," he continued. "I mean, yeah, you saw whatever it is twice and now you're claiming that it's more powerful than I thought it was. I can't control it, Megumi. And if it's that powerful, if it turns -"
"It won't."
But there was one thing he apparently hadn't put together. He was starting to panic, wanting to stop it. And it made sense. Containing it would avoid people getting hurt, but – but I'd seen what the Pharaoh was capable of when mad. I did not want that man against me. Plus – Plus I had proof that he was good.
I watched Yuugi bring his hands to his face, looking a the table as he spoke, "That's crazy talk, Megumi. Spirits -"
But I interrupted him again, "Poltergeist don't change because they choose not to. Whatever this spirit has decided, it's not to harm."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I met him."
I had to stop this degenerative thinking. I had to kill his panic. Give him reason to believe that the Pharaoh, the one thing that had scared me so many weeks back was worth talking to listening to. His intentions were good, he was just misguided.
… I couldn't believe that I was defending the Pharaoh in front of Yuugi of all people.
I took a breath and continued, "I saw it twice. The second was with my brother where it simply looked to my brother after it saw that it was me, and the first was during the festival as I was about to leave class and school. It could have hurt me, done anything. Instead it just saluted and walked on. It doesn't go after just anyone, Yuugi. In fact, I'm willing to bet it goes after those that hurt you and your friends. I know the moments of unconsciousness are terrifying and the fact that almost always someone ends up hurt, but ever wondered what triggered those moments?"
Before watching Yuugi meet my gaze for a moment as he straightened, stare slowly leaving me for the floor as he seemed to be putting it together. Seemed to race from one event to the next, searching the trigger points, searching the moments that led to unconsciousness.
The moment he put his hands over his face, I knew it figured it out.
"He's trying to protect me. Us."
And the fact that he spoke those words before taking a breath just made it that much clearer. The fact that he looked around as our drinks came along before leveling his stare with his glass just confirmed my thoughts.
He mumbled into his hand before looking at me, "Is this what you meant by untangling me?" and only sighing when I gave a nod, continuing as he brought a hand to the Millennium Puzzle, "So I have a protector that's hurting people because it thinks my friends or me are in danger or unhappy. It – he – she – they don't care for the methods that they have to use to bring the bad guys down, which leads to someone getting hurt, and they're incredibly powerful since they can actually drive someone insane. Anything I'm missing?"
"You can influence it," I gave with a shrug, making him blink.
"How?"
"Think about it. It doesn't come out unless you're in danger or unhappy. Therefore, if it -"
"They."
I chuckled at Yuugi's interruption, but still took it, "Alright, alright, if they can feel your emotions and know when to actually take over, that means that there's a channel between you both already. These channels aren't one way, you know. If they can use it, you can too."
It was interesting to watch Yuugi think. As creepy as it was, it was interesting to watch the gears turn in my friend's mind, trying to make sense of everything I'd given while mixing it with everything he knew. I wasn't missing the fact that we hadn't spoken of what I was, if the Puzzle had any place into what we'd just spoken about, but I was realizing something as Yuugi made his way through his thoughts.
It didn't matter. It didn't matter what I was because, one day, he'd know and know for sure. It didn't matter if it was linked to the Puzzle or not because again, one day, it would come to light. Hell, as far as he knew, I already knew the cause. Crazy, but it worked. And that was the only thing that mattered.
"If I learn to use that channel, think I can talk to him?"
I nodded, "There's a chance."
"How can I?"
"Ever heard of meditation?"
