New chapter.
Thanks for the amazing reviews, guys :)
Matt had been quiet through most of the evening, and Elena couldn't help but wonder if Damon had said something to him.
She wanted to ask a few times, but thought better of it.
The movie ended about seven, and Matt suggested they go to his house and hang out before heading back to Second Chance.
Elena had agreed easily, and they pulled into his drive moments later.
"Are your parents here?" She asked, noticing the empty lot.
"No, they're visiting my sister this weekend and wanted an early start."
She nodded as they got out.
"Did you want something to snack on?" He asked, as they walked into his kitchen.
Elena shook her head, "No, I had pizza with Damon."
"Of course you did," Matt muttered.
Elena crooked her head, "Sorry?"
Matt sighed, "Nothing...well actually yeah...I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you and Salvatore having pizza dates while we're together."
"It wasn't a date," she insisted with a smile, "Damon's just a friend."
Matt crossed his arms, "Yeah, I'm sure that's all he's interested in. I mean, you should have heard him, Elena. Threatening me and telling me how to treat you-"
"That's just Damon," she insisted, "He looks out for me-"
"And I'm really not comfortable with the way he calls you Angel. It's really freakin weird."
Elena sighed, "Matt, listen, Damon isn't a threat, okay? But he is my best friend. He looks out for me, that's it."
"He's a freak," he insisted.
"Don't call him that," Elena said coldly, stiffening.
Matt backtracked, realizing he'd offended her, "Okay, I'm sorry...I guess I'm just jealous."
Elena seemed to accept his apology, and smiled softly, moving to wrap her arms around him, "Well, don't be. There's no reason, okay? "
He smiled, "Okay."
Leaning down, he kissed her.
It wasn't their first kiss, but it was the first time they hadn't been surrounded by a bunch of other people.
Elena wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the feeling.
Matt pushed his tongue into her mouth, and she opened for him.
Suddenly, she was sitting on the countertop, and he was standing between her legs.
The position was awkward at first, but she adjusted, and settled against him.
A blush covered her face as Matt's hands squeezed her ass, and he bucked his hips against hers.
She could feel him getting turned on, and when his mouth moved to her neck, she decided they should probably slow down.
She liked him, really, but she wasn't sure they'd been dating long enough for her to even consider giving up her V-card to him, or if she even felt ready to go there with a guy at all.
"Matt," she breathed, as he lifted a hand to grope her through her shirt.
She pulled back, "Wait."
"What's wrong?" He asked, eyes hooded, "You were into it."
She nodded, "I know. I'm just not sure that I'm ready for all this."
"All what?" He demanded, sounding annoyed.
She blushed harder, "You know, sex and everything."
Matt rose a brow, "Don't you trust me?"
"I do," she assured him, "I'm just not sure that this is something I want to do."
He seemed annoyed again, "Why not?"
Quick flashbacks ran through Elena's mind of her uncle coming to her late at night.
She shuddered involuntarily.
"I just don't feel comfortable with it," she told him, "Some stuff happened when I was little, and I can't really-"
"Look, I'll be easy," he promised, "We can go slow, and it'll feel good, you'll see."
He leaned to kiss her, but she stopped him, pushing him back so she could jump down, "Matt, you aren't hearing me. I don't feel comfortable doing this right now."
"Then when?" He pressed.
"I don't know," she admitted.
He scoffed, "Wow...so all this was what? A big tease?"
"No," she insisted, "It's just me. And I'm not ready. You can either accept that or you can find a new girlfriend."
He scowled, "This is about Salvatore, isn't it? Did he say something?"
"Seriously?" Elena shot, "I've told you that Damon has nothing to do with us."
"Whatever," Matt spat out, "That scarfaced freak probably just wants you for himself."
"Oh get over yourself!" Elena shot, "And I've asked you not to talk about him that way! He's been through shit that you could never understand."
"Because I'm a normal person," Matt shot, "Not some unwanted trash that was dumped by the system into some halfway house!"
Elena flinched at the words, tears springing to her eyes against her will.
Matt realized his mistake and froze.
"No...I just...shit. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry, Elena, I just-"
"I want to go home," she cut him off, "You know, to the halfway house, with the rest of the unwanted trash."
"Elena-"
"Now."
"Oh, don't be like that," he pleaded, "Come on Elena, just-"
But she didn't wait to hear his reasoning.
If he wouldn't take her home, she'd walk, or call Caroline.
Leaving him protesting behind her, Elena walked out the door, wiping her eyes.
Matt didn't even try to follow her.
She made it about a mile before she broke down.
She found a bus stop bench and sat there in tears, thinking.
Matt's words echoed through her and she wondered if that was what everyone saw when they looked at her.
Damaged. Unwanted.
It had taken years for her to convince herself that she was so much more than what had happened to her.
And now, suddenly, it all rushed back.
And she didn't think she'd be okay this time.
Choking on a sob, she pulled out her phone, and called the only person she could stand having see her like this.
"Hey angel, what's up?" He answered easily.
Elena bit her lip, "Um...Damon?"
He heard the tears stuck in her throat and his tone changed, "Elena? What's wrong?"
She tried to settle her ragged breath, "Can you or Caroline come get me?"
He didn't even bother to ask the why, "Where are you?"
She looked around, "I'm at the bus stop near the old park down Miller Ave."
"I'll be there in five minutes," he promised.
The calm assuredness of his voice put her at ease.
"Okay."
Sure enough, a few minutes later, Damon pulled up to the curb in Caroline's car, but with no blonde present.
Elena didn't stop to ponder it, though.
Throwing open the door, she jumped in, and told Damon to drive.
He didn't ask.
Didn't question her.
He just held her hand as he took them back to Second Chance, letting her cry silently the whole way.
After they parked, Damon took her hand and lead her to the boys dorms.
It was getting close to curfew, but she knew Caroline would cover for her.
She sent her friend a quick text, letting her know that she'd be in Damon's room for a while.
If not all night.
It wasn't until they were both curled up on the bed, doors locked, with only one lamp on, that Damon pried.
"What happened, Elena?"
She pulled herself from his chest, focusing on his face, inches from her own.
She blinked, trying to force herself to see what anyone else might.
It was kind of funny, how hard she had to concentrate to really see him.
Damon's scar was a dominant feature on his face, cutting across his eye and down his cheek.
She had just been around him for so long she didn't see it anymore.
It wasn't a flaw or a blemish.
It was just Damon.
"Elena?" He whispered.
She sighed, "It was just a stupid fight."
"Did he do something? Did he hurt you or-"
"No," she shook her head, "It's not like that. We were just arguing and he said some stupid stuff...but it made me realize something."
"What?" Damon asked softly.
"That I'm always going to be a freak. I've tried so hard to forget, but I can't. I'm just a fucked up, unwanted freak, who can't even give a guy his most basic need because I'm so messed up."
Damon stiffened, his arms tightening around her, "You mean sex?"
She nodded, "I've tried, Damon. And today, with Matt...it's not that I don't want to, but...I still see him, you know? John. He never actually raped me or anything, so I feel stupid for being so worked up about it, but...I don't know."
"Hey," Damon chided, "What he did to you was plenty fucked up. Rape isn't just insertion, angel. Just by touching you the way he did, he stole your trust, your innocence. It's okay to be upset about that. Anyone who deserves you won't push you for anything more than what you want."
She nodded, fresh tears in her eyes, "I know, but what if I'm never ready? What if I can never get passed that. I mean, I don't feel it the way normal people do. The sex stuff. I like kissing and stuff, but when it comes to feeling turned on and everything, I'm just broken. It's like there's this wall that keeps me from getting passed a certain point...what's wrong with me?"
Damon sighed, holding her close, "Nothing angel. There is nothing wrong with you."
She wiped her cheek, "Then how do you do it? With the girls? How do you get passed this feeling?"
Damon hesitated.
He knew she had a valid question, but he wasn't very good about opening up with his past.
It was hard enough to tell her the first time, and outside of Elena, Ric was the only one he'd ever told.
Not that anyone could blame him.
Being abandoned by your father was bad enough before mixing in a drug addicted, alcoholic mother who let her "friends" use her young son as entertainment to pay off her debts.
His mother had gotten life 25 to life for her abuse to him, but not before her boyfriend had gotten pissed enough at him to carve up Damon's face while using his young body to satisfy his perverted needs.
In this aspect, he understood Elena perfectly. It never really left you.
"I don't get past it," he admitted, "Not really."
"But you have sex all the time," she argued.
Damon shrugged, "It's not a good thing, Elena. I sleep with them because I like the control. Most of the girls are terrified of me. The thrill is what turns them on, so they do whatever I tell them. I just fuck them, Elena. There's no touching, no caring, no anything. So trust me when I say, it may be better to not be able to sleep with someone than to be unable to stop sleeping with anyone."
Elena sighed, "We're fucked up."
Despite the situation, Damon laughed, "Maybe just a little."
He kissed the top of Elena's head, "But don't worry, angel, we'll get through it, and one day it won't even matter."
She wasn't sure that she believed him.
But in that moment she was too tired to care. So she burrowed deeper into Damon and let sleep take her.
I really love their scene in this chapter.
How much they careached for each other :)
Anyway, tell me what you thought! :)
