SweetHersheyKisses; x
Chapter 8 -Like a dream.
(LEAHS POINT OF VIEW!)
I brushed away the dirt on my jeans, climbing through masses of over grown grass wasn't easy as it looks. I patted my long wild curls gently feeling happy that I was able to grow my hair back without anyone telling me what to do. The last three years had been the most painful of my life and I admit, I was stupid for coming back here. I flinched staring round the clearing. It had only been three years since the day I imprinted and now I was weak enough to give in to my desires and come back. It had been hard, all I could do was think of him and say to myself ''Is he thinking of me?'' and ''He is better off without you Leah''. I sat down on the log in the distance. The memory of Seth falling of the log was like music to my ears. Oh Seth!, how I missed him dearly. I felt tears brim up into my eyes. I wasn't family wolf girl any more. I was just girl Leah who couldn't transform into a wolf (or just pretended she couldn't and gave up with it to escape the pain of being vulnerable). No more tears, I had promised myself all those many years ago, no more tears because tears were a weakness. In the last three years I had tried to live normally but the temptation of the wanting need to come home grew to much for me. My heart was weak and I hated myself for allowing the imprint!. How stupid, I should of left whilst I had the chance. Why was I even here?, its obvious that he's having a brilliant life?. Why ruin it for him -he's probably got Vampward's Bella. I had to do the right thing, I decided that long ago. Jacob was happier without me and I would do anything to keep him happy, so I would leave and feel the pain. I would do anything for Jacob. I began to turn and walk away but something rustled from behind me. I turned around putting my hand in my Jeans pocket. Dam I forgot to bring my pen knife. I looked around me quickly. I don't need a reason to turn into a wolf by my paranoia. There, the bushes rustled again. I turned around catching a glimpse of a shadow. My heart thumped against my chest.
''Are you lost?'', I familiar husky voice asked. My heart skipped a few beats at the familiar voice. I imitated one of my new friend voice, I made it too girlie.
''No I am just on an adventure trail'', I lied and laughed turning my face away. I knew that warm face, that long hair, that wide white teethed smile.
''Do you need help or something?. Not many people come to the reserve'', His voice was almost soothing. He didn't recognise me, good. I would leave, he seemed happy. He was grinning at me like a lost puppy, maybe he did recognise me.
''No I don't I told you I am here doing an adventure trial'', I said with my old attitude and a shrieking voice. Jacobs eyes peered suspiciously at me. The impact of looking at his face hit me. I wanted to melt in his arms and stare into his dark eyes forever. It would make the process of leaving harder.
''I'm sorry if I offended you'', Jacob sniggered walking closer. I hope he doesn't recognise me.
''Offend me?'', I sniggered like the old Leah. My fringe dropped over my face, I blew it out my way quickly trying to lower my eyes from his face.
''Forgive me for asking but what's your name?'', He walked to my side, sitting down on the end of the log.
''Katie'', I lied.
''That's a nice name. I'm Jacob'', Jacob smiled outstretching his hand for me to shake it. I nodded quickly turning my face away. I couldn't touch him and feel the soft heat of his skin. I had to leave. Why am I not leaving!.
''I better go, I have to get back to Port Angeles my friends will think I'm lost or something'', I laughed giving a girlie laugh to make my cover sound like another person. I wasn't exactly good at acting -Jacob must be blind or completely dumb.
''I know this will sound stupid but do you need a lift home?, I wouldn't like you walking an hours car ride away'', Jacob smiled again. His smile made my heart beat louder. An hours car ride with Jacob?, could I?.
''Um, I don't mind walking. I just have to go'', I began walking away but his warm hands grabbed hold of my wrist. I turned around trying not to look like I was nervously panting. I gazed into his eyes foolishly letting me melt inside them. That's when I remembered the pain of loosing him. I pulled away from him like no other fragile full human girl could.
''I'm leaving'', I stormed off walking back through the way I had came. Jacob was flanking me.
''Well why don't I walk with you?'', Jacob suggested calmly. Did he recognise me?.
''No don't be stupid you idiot', I sniggered again regretting my choice of words. Jacob almost jumped, I could see his fingers clenched into fists, his expressions in between shock and pain.
''I'm sorry, its just that I have to find a hotel first and its getting late, and a nice happy guy like you must have other things to do like look after your family and girlfriend and whatnot', I smiled falsely. It killed me to smile at him just before I had to leave him. I might as well find out as much as I could, for curiosity's sake but what happens if he was happy?, I can't blame him for moving on but would it make it worse for me having to hear how some girl could give him something I could never give?.
''Happy? Hardly'' Jacob snorted. A facial expression that I had never seen Jacob wear before set on his face like jelly mould. Jacob always had pride on his features, but now it was more of a fed up in pain look. So he wasn't happy?, great, I bet it was his girlfriends fault. I cussed quietly.
''But I bet your girlfriend will be waiting for you'', I smiled with a gentle high pitch laugh. It had been so long since I had laughed or even smiled.
''I haven't got one never have'', Jacob shrugged looking annoyed to the side. So Bella didn't advance on Jacobs feelings. Before I leave, I would make sure she was gone or there was hell to pay. Maybe she was still pulling him along?. How dare she!.
''Oh well that's strange, well, I have to go, nice speaking to you. I better go find a hotel. I hope you make someone happy one day', I picked up the back pack that I had dropped in front of the clearing. I had a few pairs of clean clothes, a toothbrush, hair brush and a pare of shoes. Not exactly a nice selection of clothes but it was a start.
''Not to sound stupid or anything...'', Jacob began but I naturally interrupted as usual.
''Because you don't always'', I shut my mouth up quickly.
''Do I know you?'', Jacob asked peering at my face.
''I've never been here in my life so I don't think so'', I lied again laughing and continued walking off.
''Wait!'', Jacob called from behind me. I hurried quicker trying to make my decision quickly. Should I stay a bit and suffer? Or should I just leave to make it easier for the both of us?. I would have to make the decision sooner or later but his face, his touch, his eyes. Can I run away from love forever?.
SweetHersheyKisses; x
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