Author's Note: Thank you for the lovely reviews! Keep 'em comin'! Tell me what you did/didn't like, how to improve, any non-specific ideas, etc. Love you all!
If Ichigo could sum up the past month in one word, it probably would have been "pacing". He hadn't stopped since the day she left for her mission, and this night was unlike any before it. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, and all he could think about was his small shinigami returning home safely.
Ichigo knew it would be an insult to Rukia's character if she knew how worried he was about her.
"You know I can handle myself!" she would say if she could see the frantic state Ichigo had been in.
Biting the nail on his left ring finger, Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut and tried to rid his thoughts of anything dark. Rukia would be fine- she always ended up that way. Even when she was pierced with a three-pronged trident, even when a fist was shoved straight through her, or when she fell prey to the massive jaws of a hollow. Rukia was always fine.
"She'll be fine", he reminded himself.
But that didn't stop Ichigo from wondering why Rukia still wasn't home. He had been waiting all day, and he had yet to hear any news about the status of the mission. Rukia had been chosen to lead a large group of six-years to the living world to warm them up to life there- killing hollows and protecting souls. Yamamoto found she would be the best suited officer to lead such a mission- Ichigo damned the fact he was part of the reason she was so good at adapting to life in the Living World.
Ichigo wandered around the small house he shared with Rukia, pulling at the ends of his hair as he ran his hand across his scalp. "She'll be fine," he repeated.
It was then, as if the gods themselves had heard his words and thought it a joke to smite him, thunder rolled through Soul Society. Ichigo sighed, defeated, and threw himself to the floor. The mat-like bed was just big enough for Ichigo, but Rukia never had a problem weaseling her way into his arms and filling the small, yet gaping empty space. Ichigo scooted himself to one side of the mat, leaving room for Rukia to crawl into when she returned.
Ichigo's eyes refused to close. Every time he tried, they popped back open with the flashes of lightning. Ichigo's heart sank at the sudden memory of a confession Rukia had made to him many, many years ago.
~
"I hate the rain," she announced sourly to no one in particular. Ichigo had been studying in his dorm as a college student. His roommate mysteriously had been out for the evening, and Rukia had dropped by to pay a visit. Rukia watched from Ichigo's bed as the water rapped against the window. Brilliant flashes of lightning were sprinkled with dashes of ominous thunder.
Ichigo placed his pencil on its side and pushed his chair back. Turning to Rukia, he noticed the emotions mixed upon her face. Fear, hurt, sadness- they lingered in her brow and in the small frown her lips were set in.
"I'm not a fan either," Ichigo admitted, although Rukia had already known the reason. Ichigo had yet to press her to share her inner demons, though. He never would.
"Ichigo," she half-whispered.
Ichigo looked up at Rukia and gently rose from his seat. "Yes?"
"Would you think less of me if…" she paused, taking in a deep breath, "if you knew I was a murderer?"
There was a grand sort of silence, and Ichigo was wondering why it was taking him so long to respond.
"I mean, I killed- I still kill- hollows, I fought the espada and all evils in between- but what if I told you I took a life that had no right to be taken away?" She was looking out the window now, refusing to even share a glance with Ichigo.
He now rushed to her, and as gently as he could, placed his hand under her chin and turned her to face him. He had no idea what she was talking about, yet somehow, he felt as though she must be wrong. "I don't believe you would willingly take a life."
Rukia closed her eyes. "I was a coward. I stabbed him. I let him die. And he had the audacity to thank me." A single tear fled down her cheek. "I killed my mentor," she had not the courage to dare say his name, "I killed him in the rain. That is why I hate it."
Ichigo could not speak. He merely gathered his strength into a deep embrace and protected Kuchiki Rukia from the rain- rain from the gods and from her heart.
"I love you, Rukia. Whatever happened that night- whatever the circumstance- it was not your fault." Ichigo kissed her head as she buried her face in his chest, showing her true vulnerability for the first time.
Ichigo's ears perked at the sudden, muffled sound of her voice.
"I love you, too, Ichigo."
Rukia was tougher than most men Ichigo had ever met. She was strong, protective, and stood her ground, but that night, she had opened up the single heaviest gate in her heart to Ichigo. Despite the moment of vulnerability, Rukia had displayed the greatest act of courage Ichigo had seen. He knew from his own experiences that sharing your fears and secrets were the hardest things to do in life- harder even than swinging a zanpakuto at an enemy or slaying a blood-thirsty hollow. Rukia was strong, and Ichigo knew she would come home safe.
Rain pelted the sides of his home, and thunder rolled over him. Ichigo sighed and put his arms behind his head, propping his head up so he could glance out the window into the darkness. He didn't want to think of Rukia running around killing hollows somewhere where it was storming. He didn't want to think of her running around anywhere without him.
Closing his eyes, Ichigo took in a strong breath and tried to relax himself, but his eyes popped open again at the light of the storm. It felt nearly impossible for him to attempt sleep, and when a flash of light struck the sky and a familiar figure was displayed in the glass of the window, Ichigo could only scramble toward it.
Although it was only a silhouette etched by the lightning, he recognized the shape of her tiny body and the curve of her hair. She was walking toward the back of the house, only a foot away from the window.
"Rukia!" Ichigo bolted up and pressed his face to the window. The figure was gone. As quickly as he could, Ichigo hurried to the front door, sparing no time for foot-wear, and stumbled into the beating rain. "Rukia?" he called. He jogged to the side of the small hut-like house, only to be met with a patch of slick grass. Ichigo fell to his stomach and hit his chin on the damp ground. It when then a sharp smell hit his nose: blood.
"Rukia!" Ichigo scrambled to his knees and crawled to a crumpled figure. "Rukia!" a flash lit the sky and Ichigo could see the blood surrounding her. She was so covered he wasn't even sure where her wounds began. "Rukia, look at me!" the air around them became quiet- Ichigo couldn't even hear the rain. Frantically, he adjusted her body to have her laying on her back and placed his ear on her chest. He heard nothing.
"Rukia!" He cried. "Oh God, please don't- no, Rukia!" He grabbed her limp form and held her closely, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. No- this couldn't have happened. Not to her.
"Ichigo…" he heard a whisper, and he felt a hand on his back. Suddenly, he sensed something in his hand. Ichigo looked down to see Rukia slouching over Zangetsu. "Thank you…" His head began to spin as he realized what was happening.
"No… No! Rukia! Rukia!"
"Ichigo…"
"Ichigo."
"Ichigo! Wake up, baka!" Ichigo felt a small, hard object connect with the side of his head.
"Ow! Dammit! What was-" Ichigo sat up in his bed, rubbing his injured temple, and looked above him.
"Long time no see, eh Ichigo?"
Before him, a very beautiful and a very tired-looking Rukia crossed her arms playfully and smiled down. Ichigo's heart was still racing madly, but now for a different reason.
Ichigo wanted to jump to his feet, but opted to grab the nape of his neck instead. "It's about time you got home, isn't it?" he yawned, trying to forget his grim dream. Breaking beams of sunlight filtered through the window behind Rukia. Ichigo had half a mind to see if the grass outside was still stained with the blood he knew was never shed, but the other half was just too elated to see her. Smiling, he picked himself up and looked at her. Grabbing her hips and pulling her closer, he kissed her neck softly. "Missed you," he whispered into her ear.
Rukia grinned, draping her arms over his shoulders. A small bandage was taped onto her cheek, and Ichigo could see a poorly wrapped dressing trailing up her arm, but other than that and some dirt, she looked perfectly fine. "I missed you, too, Ichigo."
Snorting softly, Ichigo squeezed Rukia in his arms and hugged her tightly.
"You are never leaving me for that long ever again."
"Trust me," she chuckled, pushing her hand through his hair, "I don't plan on it."
