Oh yes...Matt remembered. He'd never stopped loving Mello. He made himself forget, or try to forget, he willed himself to get over it. He hadn't. This kiss reminded him. Oh, oh shit he wanted Mello so much. And Mello was staring at him as if he wanted so much more than just a kiss. His body was warm, and ready, and Matt knew why.
He pulled back. "Mello, no." he whispered.
"Yes...it's not because of that. It's because I want you.." Mello said, closing the distance between them.
"You're drunk, and either way, no, you don't. You never have, I don't think you ever will want me." Matt pulled back, as images flashed through his head that made his stomach hurt. He would never put Mello through what had happened before again.
Matt stepped back, escaping the room. He'd done the right thing, but it didn't feel right. He wanted to be back in there with Mello, desecrating his body. He couldn't stand to be there anymore; he couldn't stand to see anyone. Struggling through the crowd, he edged his way to the exit, his head becoming light. Mello needed to be Near's, he knew it was true, and if he knew it was true, why was he so fucking bitter about it?
"Hey, what the hell Matt?" Light cornered him on their way to class. "You left tiny Near with me and a drunk as fuck L to take home? You were supposed to be taking care of him! I saved him from some perverts about to molest him! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Sorry." Matt said weakly. He hadn't wanted to go to school today, but it was better than leaving himself alone with the depressing thoughts in his head.
"Not to mention Mello, also piss drunk! I'm amazing but leaving that amount of drunk to me is just cruel." Light continued.
"Mello? What did he say?" Matt asked, trying not to sound too interested.
"The usual. He wanted me and L to make out...why?" Light asked, arching a brow. His sharp, calculating eyes were narrowed on Matt.
"Because," Matt said cooly. "He does some pretty stupid shit when he's drunk.
"Got that right." Light said, his eyes still calculating. Matt knew he needed to get the geniuses mind off this topic before he managed to figure everything out. "Well." he said. "Did you and L...do anything?"
Light kept his eyes narrowed, unflinching, unblushing. "That's not your business to know. When since did you care what we did, isn't that Mello's job?"
"You did, didn't you?" Matt asked, genuinely curious now.
"I may have accepted some of his advances." Light's eyes flickered with some shyness. "I-I was under the influence of alcohol myself."
Matt smirked. "What kind of...advances?" he asked.
"It's...that's...not for you to know!" Light turned away, his cheeks beginning to redden.
Matt sighed inwardly, happy he'd dodged the bullet. Light stormed off, without looking back, no doubt to hide his blushing cheeks. Matt wondered just what they'd done and how they felt about doing it. He was sure Mello knew it all by now. Would Mello even want to talk to him though? Did he remember the events of the night before? He hoped not.
He also hoped he did.
"We're actually doing pretty well on our project." Near offered meekly. He and Mello had been working in silence for an hour and it was killing him. Mello still had somewhat of a hangover, so that could be it, but he didn't think so. His face was quiet and thoughtful.
"Were you happy last night? Seeing L and Light so close?" he continued. A small smile came to Mello's lips and he nodded, though he didn't look up. Near had so many questions. Where had Mello gone last night? Had he kissed someone? Why was he acting so strangely now? He desperately wanted to ask them.
"When you drink, you're a really amazing dancer." Near continued. "No one could keep their eyes off of you."
'Especially me.' His mind finished the thought for him. Mello remained unresponsive. His phone buzzed and after looking at it, he suddenly stood and walked right out of the room. Near kept his head down, focusing on his page, writing notes. He really wasn't surprised.
"Finally, you replied to me." Mello said, striding to Matt. "I've been texting you like crazy."
"I was in a lab." Matt said. "And anyways, I needed to think."
"About...?" Mello asked gently.
"I let myself think that I could have you even for a second last night." Matt said slowly. "I thought, why should I give up Mello because of something that I didn't even do?"
"It wouldn't be.." Mello tried to say.
"Wait." Matt interjected, before continuing. "Then I realize it's not giving you up, it's letting you go. To someone, and something, better."
"Matt!"
"Wait." Matt said forcefully. "You lost your virginity to a complete pervert because I was so jealous at the thought of you liking him more than me that I left you alone with him. I let you get into an abusive relationship when you were fucking...14, all because I was too full of myself to turn around and see that you needed me. I turned my back because I'm too hot-headed to see what's best for you , and only want you for me. You don't like to say it, you don't like to talk about it, but you were raped, Mello."
Mello flinched but kept staring at him. "You were raped by someone 6 years older than you. And you tried to reach out to me but I didn't catch on. I didn't try. I say all the time, I didn't do it, it's not my fault because I had nothing to do with it. But I'm your best friend; my job is to protect you, to know when you're in pain, and I didn't. Even when I started to suspect the relationship was messed up, I was too much of a sore loser to look into it. You need someone that isn't a sore loser. Someone that'll see you bruised and find out why, no matter what. Someone that...even after you get drunk and make out with a douche in a bathroom, still cares about you and is ready to accept you the next day. Someone amazing. Someone..."
"Near." Mello said, his brow furrowed.
"Near." Matt echoed.
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