hey sorry i took a while to update, school has been crazy! D:

sorry to say that the interaction between our beloved clowns will until the next chapter.

thank you all for your reviews!!!!

you guys are amazing!!!


Breathe Harley; it's all Just a Joke

A Hell of a Makeover and Schizophrenics.


This is just what this harmless little brunette needed.

Having a knife on the side of her mouth; burning like if it was mercury being poured onto her skin. And of course let's not forget the side order to this platter: a psychotic demented clown about to tell her the ever changing story about his infamous scars. Some nice tears on her face and a wicked smile on his lips and that was a perfect scene for her life.

Melanie Coon was going over some bills and paperwork on her office desk before she spotted the Joker in her apartment bedroom. She had never seen that coming. Why would the Joker want to attack her in the first place anyway? I mean she was just an amateur makeup artist for an indie company. And this company helped out bands that wanted to get recognized.

She wasn't important in this city. How did he even find her? Why did he even want her?

But we'll come back to that later. Right now, Melanie Coon was cleaning up her area and just counting down the seconds until she left this place.

She was exhausted. The whole day she was barking orders to her interns on how to apply the makeup on the musicians. Oh that's right; Melanie was head of makeup of that company I mentioned earlier. But the good thing was that the revolution of the filming was over. Now she can go home and rest. But then the next day she has to go to a board meeting to her C.E.O, which was a first. Maybe she'll get a promotion. Like being Makeup Manager…hah, was there even a spot like that?

Melanie shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her leopard duffel bag and shut the lights.


"Will ya hold still for a moment?!"

"You're hurting me here, you know."

"Well I wouldn't be if ya stop acting like a squirming pig."

"Ouch, that hurt!"

"What being a pig?"

"No, my hair!"

"Quit whining Harleen!"

"…It hurts."

"Man, you're being so hard to deal with. There I'm all done."

Harleen frowned at Enid and clicked her heels all the way to the living room. Sometimes she doesn't even know why she lets Enid make her go through this. She glanced at herself in the mirror. Her frown became even deeper. She really didn't know why she lets Enid do this to her.

Instead of looking at the seventeen year old girl who was a gymnast and top student who ate ice creams on her porch, she was looking at a young woman who seemed to enjoy the Gotham City nightlife. Her makeup was giving a smoky sensual side to her eyes and made them pop out even more. The rimmel also accentuated her lashes as well. To make things short, she wasn't the Harleen Quinzel you'd see every day.

She wasn't really okay with this but she'll at least give it a shot. Though, that eye shadow was sneering at her. Harleen looked around; the music was still blasting from her room. That meant that Enid was still in there. Okay, it wouldn't hurt anyone right? She touched her eye shadow and rubbed it off a bit.

But a hand pushed it away. Harleen had expected to see Enid about to scold her but instead she saw her mother.

"Stop that, you look fine. Now come, we need to leave now."

"Harleen! Here's your purse!"

Marley came dashing towards Harleen in a paisley pink fluffy dress with glitter in her eyes.

"Enid said that this purse matched your dress."

"…Thanks Marley."


Her feet were tired and were barely dragging her up the squeaking stairs.

A long sigh was released as she got to her apartment door. It was a relief that she can get out of these leopard print heels. Either her feet got bigger or there were rocks in them. Oh yes, and it was also a relief that she had gotten home safely. People could say that it wasn't safe out on the Gotham Streets. You have to pray every time you set foot on the streets to not get mugged, shot or killed. But ever since Harvey Dent put half the scum of Gotham away in bars; the air cleansed up and the tension faded away. So Melanie's hope raised more.

She opened her apartment door and shut it closed.

Though her apartment was small and it wasn't in a very clean building, it was cozy and silent. The thing that satisfied Melanie was that the walls weren't oozing smile and that the wallpaper did not cringe every time it rained. There were a few spring showers here and there but nothing out of the usual.

Melanie sat on her couch that her grandmother had won in a small sweepstakes. But she didn't like it so she gave it to her granddaughter.

Melanie grabbed the remote and turned on the news.

"Jesus Christ!"

The image of that stupid clown's grin made her pour the Luke-warm lemon tea all over her white t-shirt. "Shit." She mumbled as she looked down.

The tea had stain over the chest area. She got up, not even paying close attention to what really mattered at this moment: the report on the television news.

She stumbled into the bathroom with water running and scrubbing her shirt with a fluffy pink towel. She had accomplished to drown out the reporter's voice.

"Now moving to other news. It seems that the Joker has escaped once again. Sources say that after he was caught and brought into the truck, the route wasn't directed to arrive at Arkham Asylum at all. If not, to the Joker's hideout. And to add more, some of these police officers were all in the plan. The commissioner has refused to talk deeply about this situation and give any important information. Until now, we have no idea of how they are dealing with this delicate situation. But here at the studio, we have precautions for you folks at home. These all relate to the Joker.

1. You are advised to not leave the house alone.

2. Have a weapon and cell phone near you at all times.

3. Revise security all around your abode.

4. Should you sight the Joker or anyone with a clown mask, do not dwell or confront them, but contact police headquarter or Gotham Major Crimes Unit.

Now on to happier news. Oh well, this might enlighten a few out there. Bruce Wayne is hosting a fundraiser as we speak; for the children of Gotham, "Give a cent, make a difference." Now isn't that something Jen…"

Melanie was finally satisfied enough with that stupid stain and walked back to the couch, unaware of what was said. Her eyes turned to the T.V and a reporter was talking about some fundraiser Bruce Wayne was hosting.

"Huh."

She drank what was left of her tea and left to pay those bills.

It was a Saturday night, people were having fun, drinking champagne and eating delights while she was stuck at home paying her expenses and wasting her energy. Well, what was left of it.

After a long silence of scraping pencils and pens, turning of pages, tongue sticking out and glasses being pushed up several times. A door was heard being knocked.

Her door.

"Rossellini's Deli!"

Melanie cocked an eyebrow. She didn't remember ordering any Deli. Hmm maybe Mrs. Flakine ordered food for her. She always did that whenever Melanie was working late. Her stomach grumbled. Come to think of it, she was pretty hungry.

She slipped her slippers on and went to the door. She gave a long good stretch and she opened the door. As she focused her eyes on her visitor she let out a soundless scream and froze in place.

It was a man in a grotesque painted clown mask and a loud chuckle was heard from his throat. Melanie whimpered and tried to shut the door but the man slammed it against her. She ran towards her room with a scared look painted on her face.

She twirled on her feet and locked her door. Her heavy breathing was making the silence break and she could actually hear her heart beating. Oh God, what she going to do? What did this clown man want with her?

She grunted a whimper and took out her cell phone. Yes, call the cops. That seemed like a good idea. As she took the phone in her sweaty hand, a gun was heard being cocked.

Melanie froze and her oxygen seemed to be cut off. Somebody was in the room with her.

"Ya know, I, uh, don't think that's a good idea."

Then out of the blue, a shot was fired and the phone shattered everywhere, sending a few parts into Melanie's face.

"Hahahahahahahaha!!! Sorry doll face, but I can't let ya do that. You'll ruin all my fun."

Melanie's shaking hand fell to her side and she turned her head ever so slowly. Tears falling down her face and sniffles were pronounced loudly. She gasped and slammed herself against the wall.

Oh no…oh God no! Why me, oh shit, oh shit!

There was that murdering freak she'd seen in the news and papers. Out of all the apartments in Gotham Fucking City, why the hell hers?!

He smiled peevishly at her and smacked those lips of his. His feet were swinging merrily on her bed; shoes still on, making the sheets dirty with whatever material they've stepped on.

"Evening, Me-la-nie."

Melanie looked around the room; searching for something to defend herself with. Maybe if she acted fast, she could run towards her kitchen and get the gun under the sink. Yeah, that seems like a good plan. But all that seemed to fall as she looked in those bright crazed pools of the Joker.

She blinked some more tears away and quivered harshly. "You're…you're that guy from the papers! The..Joker!" She stuttered, half yelling and pointing a finger at him.

Giving her a pouted frown, the Joker squint his charcoal eyes at her. "Aww gosh darn it! I guess I am huh? Tell me something; am I really that ugly in person, hmmm?"

Melanie just cried even harder.

The Joker giggled and put his gloved finger to his mouth clearly not paying attention to the woman in front of him. He got up in a swift movement and walked around. "Hmmm…or is it because I look fatter off T.V?" He asked himself more than Melanie.

His eyes turned back to her. She was still crying. He glared as he noticed that she was completely ignoring him! She's got some nerve…He snapped his blade out and twirled it around dangerously in his hands. He'll make her interested and make her smile.

But right now…she needed to do something for him.

He hovered over her and that seemed to shaken her even more. "Aww shush, shush, girl. Ya see I need a little favor from ya. I need to, uh, enhance my looks." He danced from one foot to another and rolled his hands while he spoke. "I know that you paint people for fun and I thought, 'Hey, if she can help others, then she can help me!' I need you, 'cause I'm going to this party and I'm meeting someone special there. I really need to look my, uh best." He slapped her lightly on both cheeks and drawled himself onto her vanity. "So…make my beautiful scars vanish okay?"

Melanie was still in shock.

What the hell is going on?!

The Joker snapped his fingers. "Come on girly! I ain't got all night. Considering that I am already late."

Melanie flinched and run towards. Just do what he says and maybe he'll go away faster. Oh my God…what am I getting myself into?

The Joker sat down, hunched, and smoothen his greasy green hair to the back of his head. Melanie slowly walked to him, quivering at the thought of him here, looking at her through the mirror. She denied eye contact with him but she knew that his dangerous stare was on her. That's what made it harder for her to work.

The only lighting in the room was coming from the vanity light bulbs so it made the Joker look more demented than usual. Plus the only thing that was making noise was the beginning of the pitter patter of rain drops on her window and the smacking of his ghastly lips.

Melanie gulped and fragilely touched his hair.

"Er...well…y-y-you need to um…take off…th-th-he paint."

The Joker chewed on his scars and slapped his thighs. "…Wash away then." He growled, still having a knife at hand.

Melanie rushed into the bathroom to grab a new mug and filled it up with water and grabbed the cleansing cream. As she was walking out, she went back in for a towel.

When she returned to the vanity, she was that his purple overcoat was sprayed on the bed and his gloves were off.

She'd never seen him so quiet and still. She'd only him on the news. He seemed almost…normal.

The Joker glanced at her. She stumbled back and that made him sputter out a snicker but then he closed his eyes and leaned back on the chair.

Melanie hesitantly poured water on a cleansing cloth on his cheeks. Afraid, like if he a was rabid dog, waiting to pounce on her. Hmmm, this paint comes off easily, this'll be quick-ahh his scars!

As the cloth swept over them, she felt the wrinkles and squishy bumps of the damaged tissue…and the color…they seemed infected by the color rose that screamedthe word carnage all over the scars. Plus, the lines made them look disgusting.

She felt a bit of pity for the monster. But then she grimaced. No, who cares? He probably got what he deserved. She distracted herself by finishing wiping off the paint from his face and started with the cleansing cream.

Wow, this is all too much. How can one have skin like this? But then again this is a person who has no home and is a psycho killer.

"Hey, you're gonna use, uh, concealing cream huh? I, uh, rather have spackle on my skin. I reaaaally need to make this scars go away like magic. Ya got spackle right?"

Melanie turned to her closet, trying to remember if she did have spackle. Yeah, the little box was right there on the floor. She really didn't use it on human skin, because of the toxic but this man's skin was already damaged, so what the hell? She should go for it. She nodded and began to tone and moisturize his skin with this special cream she had so she can apply the spackle.

She looked around her vanity for a small fan. She started to fan the Joker's face but then stopped when she heard the clicking of the blade in his hand. He seemed to get impatient. Melanie quivered and rapidly went for the spackle in her closet and poured on his face.

After she smoothen it out and paired the amount of spackle on his face he seemed like a man without any evidence with scars. He had really good features and looked like if he had a good life. The scars really did make a difference in his features.

To avoid anymore contact, she rushed towards her bathroom and put back her used toiletries. She stayed in there to regain back her breath and tried to not show fear and tears once more. After what seemed like hours, she went back into her bedroom.

He was gone!

All trace of him was gone.

She rapidly went into the living room to see that it was quiet and empty as usual.

Oh, God, he's gone. And he didn't kill me. I'm so lucky.

Melanie collapsed onto her couch and began to let out the sobs she forced to keep inside while the Joker was there. By every breath, beat and hiccupping she let out was a reminder that she was alive and didn't have to face the music…or in this case the jokes.

Just as all hope of the Joker being far, far away was shattered by a crash of a door with the wall.

There he stood once again, in his hunched pose. His eyes were looking crazed and straight at Melanie. Though he wasn't wearing his makeup, he still can intimidate a person.

"Ya know…I haven't paid ya at all, how…inconsiderate of me."

Melanie shook her head and let out a strangled sob. She wasn't over this just yet.

"T-that's fine, you d-d-do-"

The Joker made a garbled noise and shook his head violently.

"Naw, I want to pay up and I know just how…"

Suddenly he was at Melanie's side and he pulled her roughly by the hair. She let out a painful scream. The tears were flowing carelessly now. She didn't care anymore. She what was going to happen to her.

The Joker leaned into her face, inches away and smacked his lips.

"Wanna know how I got these scars?" He sneered.

Melanie was frozen.

"Well it's really simple actually. One day, I went to the dentist for my monthly check up and like any other kid, hated going." He gripped on her hair and pinched her shoulder with his knife, producing a cut. "So once I sat down, I noticed that the dentist had a crazed look in his eyes. He laughed at my terrified glaze while putting a gas mask on me. Then he put nitrous oxide in my respiratory system, no oxygen, just nitrous oxide. Just enough ta make me feel…dope…ya know?" He paused to take a breath and moisturized his lips again. "You know what he said to me? He said, 'You need to and smile, I can help you with that.' So, he snapped the mask off my nose and grabs a knife." His voice began to take a menacing drip to it. "He turned to me and he says, 'Open wide so I can put a smile on your cute little face.' He shoves the blade into my mouth and does to me." He pointed to the hidden scars, but Melanie knew that they were there. "And you know what the funny part of it was? That the doc was a schizoid! Hahahahahahahahahaha!! That really puts a smile on my face."

Melanie had shut her eyes; she did not want to see the eyes of this madman.

"Now sweet thing, I paid you by tellin' you my scar story but that isn't enough. Noooo, I'm going to repay you by using the doc's remedy on how to put smiles on you. As you can see, it really does work!"

His maniacal laughter rose even higher and it was more disturbing by the minute. Melanie was dying of shock and of fear. She couldn't move or even breathe at the time. She just let the Joker put the knife in her mouth and didn't do anything as she felt the pain and blood dripping out of her mouth. The slashes he was making with her mouth. Sure, the blood got onto his face, but he licked it all away and rolled his eyes in pleasure.

She didn't even feel when he stopped and didn't feel the big hole in her mouth now with a Glasgow smile. Or she didn't feel when she fell down onto her couch and began to drown in her blood.

Before the Joker stepped out the apartment, he turned his body towards the dying Melanie and put a pleasant smile on his face.

"Thanks for the makeover; it really is to die for. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!"


love it, hate it??

please send in reviews!!