I am so excited with the feedback I've gotten…I was worried people wouldn't like the last chapter…I'm a little worried you won't like this one, but uh…I'll get over it.
Sunday is the day Mark returns...Ooooh…hmmm…wonder what will happen.
By the way, I hate him. HATE. HATE.
Chapter Title: "The Walls Came Down" by Colin Raye
Half Love
"The Walls Came Down"
Tonight, my walls came down,
like a brick through a plate glass window,
with a wrecking ball sound, like old Jericho,
laid swift to the ground…the walls came down.
-"The Walls Came Dowm"
by Colin Raye
February 4th, 2006
1:00 A.M.
Addison pulled Dereks arm tighter around her waist and snuggled closer to him. She felt him move in last moments before sleep, burying his nose in her hair, and she smiled. And then the phone rang.
"You answer it…I kill you." Derek whispered. Addison giggled and laced her fingers through his.
"You've reached Derek and Addison Shepherd…leave a message…"
"You changed it." She whispered. He nodded in to the back of her neck and she smiled again.
"Dr. Shepherd, it's Izzie Stevens. I don't want to interrupt your sleep, but…"
"IZZIE! Now is not the time to be polite!" Meredith Grey's voice rang out in the tiny trailer. "Derek. Derek! Addison…please pick up. It's Ellie. There's something very wrong. She's doubled over in pain…she can't speak. The only thing she's been able to do in the last 45 minutes is shake her head whenever anyone asks if she wants one of you here…she doesn't want you here, but she needs you. I think…I'm pretty sure she's having a miscarriage." Addison and Derek, both of whom had jumped out of bed and started to get dressed the second Meredith had said Ellie, froze. "God, I hope you get this…" Derek jumped for the phone and tossed it to Addison.
"Meredith?…we're on our way."
"What do I need to do?"
Addison slid her feet in to tennis shoes. "Get an ultrasound machine in there, and then sit and hold her hand. Until I look, we just have to let this miscarriage go by itself."
"Okay." Addison hung up the phone and followed Derek out to the car. Addison took deep slow breaths as he headed towards the hospital, speeding down the road.
"Are you okay?"
Addison rolled down the window, trying to get some air. "I didn't…I didn't even know she was pregnant."
Addison flew through the hospital, Derek close behind. George was taking care of another patient when Addison flew past, and he managed a smile. "Thank God someone finally called her." He said, letting out the breath he'd been holding in for the last hour. Derek raced past and nodded at George, who nodded back.
"She'll be fine." Derek yelled as he reached the stairwell. "Addison will take care of her." George nodded and Derek raced up the stairs. He was relatively calm until he reached the floor Ellie was on, and he began to panic. It had been over an hour since someone had first tried to reach Addison; they had found both of their pagers in Dereks car, each one beeping with a 911 – ELLIE page. Derek found Izzie and Meredith pacing outside an exam room, Addisons coat in Izzie's arms. "How is she?"
Izzie shrugged and Meredith sighed. "This is the worst miscarriage I've ever seen. Ellie had Izzie look before it got really bad…it's not just that the baby is losing oxygen, but from what I could tell her uterus is having a bad reaction to being pregnant…"
"How far along is she?" Derek asked, reaching for the door handle.
"8 weeks." Izzie whispered. "She's 8 weeks." Derek nodded and went in to the exam room.
"I'm fine." Ellie's voice startled him. "They weren't supposed to call you."
"You're not fine." Addison said. "Meredith said you were doubled in pain and couldn't speak…"
"Well, I can speak now," Ellie sat up, trying to get off the bed. "So obviously I'm fine."
"Eliot Michaela Anderson Grey!" Ellie jerked back from the edge of the bed. "Don't be stupid. You are not okay, damn it!" Derek threw his coat on a chair and walked over to the bed. "Meredith said the baby is losing oxygen, and from what she could tell, your uterus is having a bad reaction to being pregnant…"
"The baby is losing oxygen? Eliot!" Addisons eyes were wide. "If you'd told me…"
"This. This is why I didn't want you here. If I'd told you?" Ellie took a deep breath. "If I'd told you, I would be on bed rest for the next 7 months until the Spawn of Satan was born!" Ellie took another deep, shaky breath. "And then you, being you, would have wanted to adopt the baby…" Ellie began to take quick, deep breaths.
"She's hyperventilating. Derek, help me." Derek and Addison laid Ellie back on the bed and Addison turned on the ultrasound.
"Ow. Ow…oh…" Ellie moved to curl in to the fetal position, but Addison placed both hands on Ellie's lower stomach.
"Don't, honey. I can't examine you like that." Ellie choked out a sob. "Get Grey in here, have Preston prepare an OR, and see if you can figure out what she meant by Spawn of Satan…" Derek nodded, squeezed Addisons hand, kissed Ellies forehead and left.
"How is she?" Meredith asked as soon as Derek came in to the hall.
"Do you know who the father is?"
Meredith shook her head. "Izzie might."
Derek nodded. "Addison wants you in there to help her."
"Okay." Meredith went in to the room and Derek headed down the hall to locate Preston and Izzie.
3:00 A.M.
Izzie paced the bathroom, afraid she was going to be sick. If Addison hadn't picked up the phone, it would have gotten worse…now they were just waiting for Ellie to wake up after surgery. Addison said she was going to be fine. Just fine.
"Izzie?" Addison came in to the bathroom and saw her intern pacing, her face pale and hands shaking.
"It's my fault." Izzie said. "I've known since 3 o'clock. I should have told you. I should have made her lay down, hooked her to fluids, talked some sense in to her…I should have…" Izzie collapsed against the bathroom stall. "I knew, George knew, Cristina knew…eventually Meredith knew…someone should have told you…"
"Well, I'm not going to disagree with you on that one, but I can tell you this…Ellie would have fought you on laying down, ripped the I.V.s out, and…you can't talk sense in to Ellie when she's set her mind on something." Addison watched Izzie slide to the floor and sat down next to her. "It's not your fault." Addison swallowed. "On a completely different topic, Derek said that Meredith told him that you would know who the father is…"
Izzie nodded. "She told me that the last person she slept with…8 weeks ago…was Mark."
Addison cringed. "My God. No wonder she said 'Spawn of Satan'." Izzie nodded and looked down. "You want to know how the surgery went, don't you?"
"Yeah…"
"It went fine. Her uterus wasn't having a bad reaction, but the baby, for lack of a better phrase, was attacking her body because it wasn't getting enough oxygen."
"She'll be okay, though, right?"
Addison sighed. "Physically? Yes. Emotionally? Izzie…there's something you should know."
Derek clutched Ellies hand, closed his eyes, and listened to the beep of her heart monitor. Ellie was closer to him than any of his sisters, and he couldn't imagine losing her. It would kill Addison, and him…watching her clutch her abdomen in pain had made him want to vomit…seeing her in pain was almost as bad as seeing Addison in pain. Addison had no problem showing her pain to others, but Ellie, on the other hand, put up walls…thick, brick walls.
"Derek?" Addison came in to the room and sat down next to her husband. "Are you alright?"
"Her walls are down." He whispered, lacing his fingers through Addisons. "She's vulnerable as hell. It's going to start again."
"I know." Addison said, squeezing his hand. "I already talked to Izzie, and she'll talk to George and Meredith…we'll get her through it."
"Seeing her this vulnerable…" Derek opened his eyes, let go of Ellies hand and took hold of Addisons other hand. "I can't lose you."
"Derek…you're not going to lose me."
"When she gets like this…she's like a little kid…our relationship is like that right now, Addie…if we fall apart…"
"We will not fall apart." Addison said, gripping Dereks hands. "I won't let that happen again. We let a tragedy pull us apart the first time…it won't happen again." Derek nodded and pulled Addison on to his lap. "Seeing her this vulnerable scares me too, Derek. The last time she was like this it was my fault, and she wouldn't let me be there…"
"Her nightmares came back after the affair?" Addison nodded as Derek rubbed small, slow circles on her back. "This time we're going to fix it. Permanently. No more nightmares."
"Derek, it's not that easy."
"I know. But we're going to fix it. Because it kills you to see her in pain…and it kills me to see you in pain." Addison put her head on Dereks shoulder and closed her eyes without another word. Just being close to him helped.
6:00 A.M.
Meredith made her way over to Ellies bed, trying not to wake Addison, who was sleeping in a chair by the window. She sat down next to the bed, playing with a string on her scrubs as she spoke. "Okay, sis. I know you're mad at me; I know you didn't want us to call Addison, but you have to understand…you were in pain…I couldn't watch that." Meredith kept her eyes on the floor, unaware that even speaking softly had woken Addison up. "The last time I saw you in that much pain was after the car accident…you would wake up screaming…"
"She still does." Merediths head jerked up, and she looked startled. "She has nightmares."
"Bad ones?"
Addison shrugged. "At first they were just because of the accident. Derek and I didn't really experience it, but her roommate said she would wake up screaming. By the time she moved in with us, they had stopped, for the most part, but they came back. Derek was in a car accident in 1996, and it freaked her out." Addisons voice shook. "We tried everything, but the only thing that we could do was deal with them as they happened."
"They just kept happening?"
Addison nodded. "Every once-in-a-while she would experience something at the hospital that would trigger the memory and send her in to weeks of horrible nightmares. She never talked about them, but I could tell. I could always tell." Addison sighed. "When she started dating Mark in 2001, they stopped. She had someone sleeping next to her that made her feel safe, and they only happened once-in-a-great-while." Addison looked away from Meredith, tears in her eyes. "Then the affair happened. She was in pain; Mark and I had hurt her, and the nightmares came back. She wasn't talking to me, but I knew. I could tell…she would show up at work pale and scared looking…and she wouldn't let me help her." Addison had tears streaming down her face. "She puts up these walls so that nothing can hurt her, and when something finally does, the walls crumble, and she's as vulnerable as a two-year-old."
Meredith looked panic stricken. "Do you think they'll come back?"
Addison shrugged. "I don't know. But you'll want to be prepared."
"I remember right after her Dad died in that horrible car accident…she'd only been living with us a few weeks, and she was in the room next to mine…I was only 13, and it scared me to death when she'd wake up screaming." Meredith looked down. "Ellis would try to help her relax, but nothing worked, and it happened like every other night."
Addison nodded. "And you couldn't help her, right?" Meredith nodded. "Because she wouldn't tell you anything." Meredith nodded again. "I know how you feel."
Meredith sighed and stood. "I need some coffee. Do you want some?"
Addison nodded. "Black, please." Meredith nodded. "Thanks."
"Yeah." Meredith headed out of the room, a solemn look on her face.
"Grey?" Meredith turned. "Thank you." Meredith cocked one eyebrow. "For calling me. Thank you for calling me." Meredith nodded and left the room, her mind reeling, trying to figure out how to help Ellie.
Okay, so this is the only one of the Thirteen Days that's going to be in two parts. Cuz I could save it and not post it until I finish the rest, but that might not be until Monday, so I figured today would be better. Dontcha think?
Hope you liked it. Feedback is appreciated! Mel.
