Everyone go and profess your undying love for Don'tStealTheHeart . This amazing girl is the reason you are getting two updates in a row like this. PLUS I even went back and edited this chapter for grammar and content errors/corrections before uploading it, so it should be pretty dang good in those terms. I'll try and do a massive error correction of the other chapters at a later date. Thank you to Don'tStealTheHeart for your suggestions for a Squalo fic! It sparked this idea and I just couldn't resist typing it up the moment I got it and, well, posting it. Go worship her N.O.W. people!

Thanks to everyone who read this story as well and thanks for staying with me for this long! Arigatou!

Please remember that ANONYMOUS Reviews have been enabled! ...turned on. For those who are interested! Please enjoy this chapter and tell me what you think! ^.^-

~Dremagon


"VOOIIIIII!" the silver haired shark's voice resounded through out the Varia mansion as you groaned and lowered your book. Right before a booted foot belonging to said more-than-obnoxiously-loud swordsman smashed open the door to the lounge with a reverberating crash leaving a cracked wall and door with splinters littering the relatively plush carpet.

Could you never get a single freaking moment to yourself for once? Geez.

"Wha~t?" you asked drawing out the 'a' as you pushed yourself up off the couch you were positioned on to look at the irate…okay so, totally furious man it was then. Who, upon further inspection was really mad. Actually, he was really really mad wasn't he?

…odd. You didn't think you'd done anything recently.

"VOOOIIIIIIII!" Honestly, what was with that man's voice and how on earth hadn't he managed to drive himself deaf with all that constant screaming already?

"This is your doing isn't it you piece of trash!" he shouted in your face, which was really quite impressive seeing as you were still on the couch and he hadn't left the doorway, leaving you at least a couple meters apart.

You frowned. Seriously, what had you done? You fervently searched back through the week and….noooo you didn't remember setting any big traps or playing any pranks. Well, with the exception of setting up that trip wire on Bel's door, but it's not like that had affected Squalo in anyway. Sooo unless he had sprung an old trap that hadn't gone off until now…

Suddenly a large white bottle with creamy orange designs on the front had been shoved into your face and Squalo had decided to move those extra, previously very much appreciated, two meters of space closer. Meaning that he was now towering over you in your seating position on the couch. Damn. Stupid man having height.

"What is this shit!" he shouted. Again. Oh, your poor abused eardrums. Did he really have to do that when his own face was only three feet above your own?

Apparently yes.

"What about it?" you asked.

"VOOOIIII! Can't you read it yourself!"

"Well not when you hold it on my nose. It just looks all fuzzy."

Squalo growled but retracted the bottle from you face. Happy freakin' finally.

"VOI! You are the one who bought the new shampoo for me aren't you?"

Oh yeah~ that's right.

…What was so bad about that?

"And….?" You prompted after a brief moment of silence. Gasp! Silence and Squalo in the same room? Will wonders never cease?

"So," he ground his teeth, "What the hell is this?" he asked again, reading the label off of the white bottle clutched tightly in his hand.

"Peaches and Cream?"

OH. Riiiight. You got the scented typed didn't you. Pfft, no that wasn't a question, of course you did.

"Well," you answered when he continued to glare at you with an infuriated and expectant look, "I figured it would suit you."

Twitch.

"What?"

"Well, the way I figure it your hair makes up, what? Twice your body weight? So," you continued ignoring his increasingly infuriated look and expanding aura as you elaborated your explanation, "the last thing we need is for it to smell bad and I don't think regular shampoos are all that good at getting out the smell of blood and gunpowder and all that junk, which we have way too much of around here already, so I had to get something I knew would help get the stench out."

"My hair does not smell." Angry Squalo talking in a normal voice. DANGER! DANGER!

You ignored him.

"And since you have so much hair anyhow I figured, might as well get something nice and let him double as an air freshener around the mansion. It'll save money and all that stuff you know?"

Squalo was seething. Seething and silent. Squalo. SILENT. Anyone else see the problem with putting those two words in the same sentence without a 'not' between them? Anybody? Hunh?

You leaned up and raised an eyebrow haphazardly.

"Um, Squalo? You still in there? …Squ-chan?" Yes you freakin' used Lussuria's nickname for the Damn-trash-sharky-boy/Xanxus' whiskey glass target practice. You preferred to dodge the flying glass objects like smart person thank you very much. Actually, how did Squalo go through that with out losing any brain cells…. Oh, no wait, nevermind you just answered that question yourself, it wasn't that hard.

"…your f-ing dead."

"Hunh?" you cocked your head to the side.

"VOOOOOIIIIII! I SAID YOU'RE F***ING DEAD YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Ah, there we go.

Squalo shouted, roared at the top of his lung, whatever you want to call being too frickin' loud, as his whipped out his sword over his head. Yes, the one he freaking DUCKTAPES to he PROSTHETIC HAND. You almost would have laughed at him if the blade wasn't quite so sharp and he didn't have such freakin' good aim with the damn thing. How the flip did that happen anyways? 'Fourteen year old boy with missing arm wins state championship'? You didn't think so.

You dodged the first swing of his sword down at you. Alas the poor couch was not met with quite such a fortunate fate. Damn. You examined the splintered and slashed remains of the couch….damn again. You actually really liked that couch.

Squalo shouted, Surprise surprise, and ran at you swing his sword again.

It was at this time that you chose to make your graceful, or not so much, exit into the hall.

"VOOOOIIIII! GET BACK HERE!"

The rest of the afternoon was filled with bangs, slams,'VOI's, shouts, and smashes as well as various other forms of pandemonium. Especially when you managed to get your hands on some of Bel's knifes and wires during the fight aka Squalo chasing you around and swinging his sword like the psychotic idiot that you know he is, incurring major property damaged when you simply stepped out of the way. Oops. Oh, dear how absolutely heart wrentching. Sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm, was there ever anything so divine?

Happily, however, all the fees for the damage repairs, which included three complete hallways, other various parts of the mansion, and more than four rooms full of very expensive furniture, all came out of Squalo's pay check.

Apparently Xanxas agreed with you on the shampoo issue. He even requested, "Trash get this one next time or else" while throwing a glass at you which hit Squalo in the face as he stepped into the room while you ducked, the next scent to make Squalo wear.

Oh, and Squalo also had to get you a new couch, and, while it might not have been as perfectly comfy as the last one?

The sweet scent of peaches and cream wafting through the mansion went a long way to making up for it.


Okay, so I thought~ Byakuran was going to be next, BUT! The Squalo plot line just hit me full force and I knew exactly what I was going to do with it all and everything and I just couldn't resist you know? SO, Sarcasm. I think I went a little overboard on this one, but honestly? I just couldn't resist making fun of Squalo. It's just kind of how it turned out you know? SOooo~ Please tell me what you think! I love feedback and reviews and even criticism as long as it is constructive! Please REVIEW!

Yes, two updates in, like, one day. I am feeling awesome about this.

Special points to those who have already review and favorited just in this short time period alone!

Reviews: XxSunbunxX I'm glad you liked it! AlteaAuroraRia Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! Byakuran and Shouichi are on the way as well as Spanner! Hey Wow. Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it! I try to fit one in with Vongola Primo sometime soon. Because Giotto is amazing and we all know it's true! I'm glad to see that Anonymous review is working too. YaoiRules92 Thanks! I'm really glad you like these! The next person will probably be Byakuran, but I can't make any promises as of yet. ezcap1st Wow, THANKS! This review really rocked my day! I'm so glad to know that you like it. Thank you very much!

Story Alert: YaoiRules92

Thank you all for such a quick response! Arigatou Gozaimasu!

I really hope you all like this super fast double update! Please REVIEW!

THANKS~! ^.^-

...Wheeeeeee~

*sigh* man I get hyper at 12:34 at night...whew.