AN: I promise things will start to go Jane's way after this one! At least some things... ;)
And I'm glad my hockey talk has at least convinced one of you. I have to admit I am a hockey nerd so I guess I have picked up something from watching games.
For those wanting the Devils to crush Denver; the season has barely started. They will have their chance again later :)
So on we go. This chapter picks up after the game, just so you know. They are still in Denver.


"Hi Jane. Can I join you?"

Jane looked up from her slouched position in one of the couches in the hotel's lobby. She shrugged her shoulders at Maura who looked at her. "Sure."

Maura sat down and turned to Jane who flicked at the screen on her phone from time to time. "What are you reading?"

Jane sighed and leaned back. "Article about the game."

"Jane, you-"

"I know, I shouldn't. I just can't help it." She turned off the screen and tossed her phone next to her on the couch. "That was a fucked up game." From the corner of her eye Jane could see Maura flinch from the words.

"How do you feel?"

"Fine. Just sore from that hit" Jane replied.

"Oh… that's not what I meant…"

Jane turned to her left and found a nervous doctor.

"I was talking about being back here… in Denver." The words were soft and low.

Jane scoffed. "I hate it. I just wanna go home."

The conversation stalled, but Jane couldn't care less. She picked up her phone and looked at the time. It was still too early to end the night. Maura cautiously moved in the spot next to Jane and cleared her throat. "Jane, can I ask you something?"

"Sure thing, doc…"

"Are you attracted to me?"

The question made Jane look up at Maura, but she quickly looked away. She felt her cheeks burning as she tried to act normal. "W-What? Where the hell did that come from?"

"I was just wondering. After what you told me about Sarah. And we have spent a lot of time together lately… I thought maybe-"

"You know what?" Jane rose to her feet and turned to Maura. "You straight girls are all the same, thinking us gay girls fall like flies around you! Well guess what? I'm not attracted to every single woman I see, I don't fall for everyone I meet. Just like you don't fall for every guy you meet. Is it really that hard to understand?" As her mouth closed, Jane heard the anger in the words she had said, and had really no idea where it came from. She turned and started walking away, heading for the stairs not too far from the elevators. Her anger and confusion blinded her and she didn't see Wallace exiting one of the elevators as she passed.

"Jane, wait" Maura called after Jane. "I didn't it mean it that way."

"Don't bother" Jane said over her shoulder and pushed open the door to the stairs, knowing Maura would not follow her that way.

In the middle of it all, Wallace stood and looked from the doctor to the closing door, and smiled.


It was late in the afternoon when Jane entered her apartment. She threw her bag on the floor and slammed the door shut. Her ears and head were tired after a day with headphones and music, anything to block out words and voices on the way home from Denver. Whenever the doctor was in her view, Jane had looked the other way. Too angry or embarrassed, she hadn't figured out which yet. The conversation was still playing in her head and it bothered her that she had reacted the way she did. She wished she had kept her cool instead of exploding, but what was done was done and Jane tried to push it out of her mind. She started to unpack her bag just to do something, but that didn't take long and she was back to her train of thoughts.

An hour later Jane was putting on her gloves and grabbed her hockey stick on the way out of the locker room. Her restless body needed some sort of physical activity and she knew the rink would be empty. Walking down the hall towards the ice, she didn't notice the open door to Maura's office before it was too late. She automatically turned her head as she passed by and saw the doctor by her desk. Maura looked up and briefly caught Jane's eyes.

"Crap…" Jane mumbled to herself and hurried to the ice.

The sound of her skates hitting the ice immediately calmed her down. She skated round after round, enjoying the silence and alone time. Eventually she added a puck and practiced her stick-handling for a long time. She bounced the puck off her stick, over and over again, throwing it higher up in the air for each time. She was so focused on the task that she didn't notice the doctor appearing by the benches.

"Jane?"

She dropped the puck and mumbled a few words without turning around. It was perfectly clear to her who was disturbing her focus, but she really didn't want to face the doctor right now.

"Jane?" Maura tried again, trying to convince herself that Jane hadn't heard her the first time. She knew it was ridiculous. The building was so quiet she could hear the snow melting on the roof.

Jane kept her back to Maura and continued her practice. "I'm busy" she replied.

"Can we talk, please? Just a few minutes."

"I'm busy."

Jane heard the sigh from Maura, but didn't care. If she kept annoying the doctor long enough, she'd might just disappear eventually.

"Can I just explain why I asked if you were attra-"

"No!" Jane cut her off, the word echoing in the big hall. "I don't want to talk."

"Would you prefer if I called you to my office tomorrow?"

Jane didn't respond. She suddenly got the feeling she was back in high school, being called to the principal's office.

"While coach Landers and the whole team is here?"

Jane stopped and stared down at the puck in front of her. Clearly Doctor Isles was going to get her way, and Jane sighed. "Whatever makes you happy" she said, slightly annoyed before taking a shot at the puck. It hit the post, leaving a ringing echo behind.

"It's not about what makes me happy. We just need to talk, but I understand you don't want to right now, so fine, I will see you tomorrow."

Jane stood perfectly still out on the ice, waiting for any indication that the doctor had left. But the rubber mats absorbed every sound the high heels normally would make, and Jane had to turn around eventually to make sure the doctor was gone. When she saw she was alone again she sent off another hard shot towards goal. She didn't miss this time.


Danielle sighed and shook her head. She crossed her legs underneath her and rested her arms on her knees. "This is turning into one of those soap operas…"

Jane gave her a tilted scowl. "Impossible, we're not related and I haven't slept with her husband/brother/sister/whatever."

"You know what I mean. You're not too stupid to see what's going on. I hope…"

Jane squirmed on the other end of the couch. She knew the relief of finally telling Danielle about the latest events would come with a side portion of reason. "There's nothing going on…"

"Don't even try that with me, Rizzoli. Why didn't you just talk to her today?"

"Because I didn't want to talk to her today. I don't even know why I basically yelled at her in Denver. I don't know what to say to her." Jane looked at Danielle who had a cocky smirk on her face. "What?"

"Of course you know why you yelled at her. You just don't want to admit it."

"Really? So now you know me better than I do?"

Danielle laughed and reached for her soda. "Haven't I always?" She took a sip and waited for an eye-roll that never came. "Seriously, I know why you reacted like that."

"Then tell me, since you seem to have a psychology degree I didn't know about."

Danielle waited a few seconds for dramatic effect before she leaned back against the armrest. "Because you panicked. You're actually terrified of her finding out."

"That makes no sense at all" Jane scoffed. "Yeah, maybe I panicked, but why should I be afraid of her knowing it? It's just a stupid crush."

"No, it's not" Danielle countered and sat up again. "If it had been a stupid crush you would've laughed it off and instead of yelling at her, you would've made it into a joke. Even flirted with her. You panicked because you're afraid of her feeling the same. If she is attracted to you and finds out you're attracted to her, she might act on it. That's what you're afraid of."

Jane stared at her best friend, going over the words in her head. Danielle stared back, not budging an inch until Jane looked away and sighed. "Fuck… I think you're right."

"Of course I'm right!"

Jane let her friend gloat while she tried to let it all sink in. If she was honest with herself, she knew a long time ago that it wasn't just a crush. She had felt drawn to the doctor in a more confusing and indescribable way from the very beginning. She had just never stopped lying to herself about it.

"But Jane… here's the part you don't want to know…"

"There's more?!" Jane whined.

"Yes. Based on your reaction, I think she knows you're attracted to her."

"Okay, now you're pushing your luck. There's no way she knows."

Danielle smiled confident. "Mark my words. When you and her hook up, you should ask her sometime about this. You'll see I'm right."

"Shut up!" Jane growled and gently kicked her friend's leg.


"Alright girls, that's it for today. Remember the meeting tomorrow at 11. Don't be late" coach Landers warned them before he waived them off.

Jane took off her helmet and pushed back the hair from her face. For some reason practice had been extremely hard that day for her, she felt more tired than ever and longed to get in the shower and get some rest. Heather caught up with her as they skated towards the exit.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just drained" Jane smiled back.

"Oh, Rizzoli!" coach Landers called out and Jane stopped. "I forgot, Dr. Isles wanted to see you before you left."

Jane just nodded and kept the frustrated sigh to herself. She skated to the benches and stepped off the ice, catching up with Heather. She didn't even see Amy Wallace by the wall until they passed her. Amy made kissing noises and winked at her as she walked by, she had obviously heard the coach. Jane just shook her head, biting back the words she wanted to spit out.

"What was that?" Heather asked as they walked down the hall to the locker room.

"Nothing" Jane sighed. "Just Wallace being an ass as usual."

Jane sat alone in the locker room a long time before she managed to get up on her feet. Everyone else had already left, or so she thought. Out in the hall, Wallace was still hanging around and caught Jane heading towards the doctor's office. "Good luck in the doghouse, Rizzoli" she grinned.

Jane glared back. She made her way to Maura's office and took a deep breath outside the closed door. She still didn't know what she was gonna say. Her conversation with Danielle last night had bothered her all morning. Some of the words echoed in her head and it frustrated her. Jane stared at the name on the door and gently knocked.

"Come in."

She stepped inside the office and closed the door behind her. Maura was sitting by her desk with her laptop open. "Hey doc, coach said you wanted to see me?" Jane said a bit too innocent and regretted it right away.

Maura looked up from her laptop and just raised her eyebrows at Jane.

"Sorry" Jane mumbled and rubbed her face.

"Well, I'm glad you came" Maura said and closed her laptop. "How was practice? You seemed to struggle at the end."

Jane hadn't noticed Maura's presence during practice and took the liberty to sit down in the chair in front of the desk. "Yeah, just a bit beat after the road trip."

Maura looked at her and leaned back in the chair. And once again Jane felt like she was back in high school. The doctor was so composed and it made Jane nervous.

"I don't usually listen to any gossip or rumors I might hear around here" Maura started and instantly got Jane's attention again. "Which is why I came to see you the other day."

"Wait, what? There are rumors about me?" Jane cut in.

Maura slowly breathed out before she stood up and moved to the chair next to Jane. "I am afraid so. I heard Wallace talking about you last week. Or actually you and me."

Pieces started to fall in place for Jane and she let out a loud sigh. "Of course… I should've known" she mumbled under her breath.

"Like I said, I usually don't listen to rumors, but with what you told me about Sarah, and not to mention the fight with Wallace, I wanted to talk to you."

Jane laughed sarcastically and shook her head. "This is so messed up."

"How?"

"Wallace hates me. If she had the chance to kick me off the team, I'm sure she would. If she started these rumors, I'm not surprised. She'd do anything to destroy things for me. By the way, what did she say about me? And… you?"

Maura looked away and folded her hands in her lap. "I would rather not repeat the words…"

The picture the unspoken words painted was clear to Jane and she had to look away too. "Yeah, you shouldn't listen to Wallace. She's just full of shit."

"So that's not why you fought her, because she implied you had feelings for me?"

The words took Jane by surprise and she got up on her feet and started pacing. "It doesn't matter. But yeah, she said some mean things about you which were totally uncalled for, and I snapped. But she was asking for it!" she said with anger in her voice. "And who the hell cares, there's nothing going on here and we know that. And I don't have…" She wildly gesticulated with her hands. "And even if I did it wouldn't matter. I'm here to play hockey! Not to find a fucking wife!"

Maura stood up and quickly went over to Jane and placed her hands on her arms. "Jane. Breathe" she ordered.

Jane obeyed and took a deep breath. She couldn't believe she had done it again, lost her cool. And Danielle's annoying voice played in her head.

Based on your reaction, I think she knows you're attracted to her.

"Alright, good. Now, can I tell you what concerns me about all this?" Maura asked and removed her hands

Jane only nodded.

"Have you told anyone on the team that you are gay?"

"No. You're the only one who knows" Jane mumbled.

"Are you going to tell anyone?"

"Hell no! After this, and Denver? No way…"

Maura nodded shortly and sat down again. "That's what I thought. I understand Wallace is pushing your buttons right now, and I understand your reaction. But I'd hate to see this becoming an issue for you. I know you want to play, and I know you are a very good player. But I have seen just how much passion you have for this sport, in both good ways and bad. I hope you manage to keep your focus on the right things."

Jane rolled her eyes, knowing the doctor was right, but keeping her focus on the right things was one of her biggest challenges. "I know. Me too."

"Remember how I made you tell me about Sarah?"

Jane smiled and nodded, clearly remembering the way the doctor had pissed her off. "Yeah, vividly!"

"Good. Try to think of this the same way. Wallace only wants to make you react. If you ignore her, it will be better. It's no fun spreading rumors if the people involved don't care."

Jane rolled her head from shoulder to shoulder and didn't really know if she should laugh or cry. She had left Denver because of the mess she created, only to come to Boston and make another mess. "Thanks for telling me. About the rumors."

Maura smiled softly and stood up. Jane's eyes lingered on the smile until she felt a warm touch on her arm. "I'm sorry this is all happening to you" Maura said with sincere sadness in her voice.

Jane just shrugged her shoulders, and Maura's touch disappeared. She knew she was going softer and softer every time she felt that warmth from Maura's fingers.

"I also want to apologize for ambushing you in Denver. That was neither the time nor place to bring this up, and I should have known that" the doctor continued.

Based on your reaction, I think she knows you're attracted to her.

"I'm sorry too" Jane uttered quickly to shake the words out of her head. "For… everything I guess."

"So are we okay?"

Maura looked up at Jane with a hopeful, small smile, and Jane found herself mesmerized once again by that dimple that appeared. She forced her eyes away and nodded. "Yeah, we're okay." She put up a smile and looked towards the door, like she was thinking about leaving. Surely the doctor would take that as a hint, because Jane needed to get out of there.

"I'm glad" Maura sighed and once again touched Jane's arm.

Don't you have any idea what you're doing?

"And if you want to talk, or just blow off some steam some time, I hope you'll come by."

Jane bit her lip from laughing, or maybe screaming, from the words Maura chose. "I'll remember that" she chuckled and took a few steps towards the door.

"Great. I guess I'll see you at the game tomorrow then."

Jane put her hand on the handle and nodded. "Sure. Thanks, doc." She quickly opened the door and stepped out. Positive the door was closed behind her, she let out a deep breath.